Yesterday I was running had the Approach Energy infield workshop. Before I left my house I made a mental note. ‘Just catch the train to Melbourne central and go straight there. I know you’re tempted to get off at flinders and walk up doing daygame but you need your energy for the class and your bands gig tonight’.
There was a chick on the train who was eye-fucking me, she kept looking at the top button of my shirt and at my crotch. I caught her because I was pretending to be asleep but I’d open my eyes and catch her.
So I gave in and got off at Flinders Station with her, direct open, she had a boyfriend, walked with her to burke street and got her Facebook.
I did another direct open, and this crazy guy was like 1m behind me doing a weird laugh, and I thought he was her boyfriend or something, totally psyched me out. Ah well, good start to shake me up a bit.
I also opened a Mother and daughter combo with ‘hi, your little sister is really cute I had to come say hi’
The mum loved it but the girl was shy with her mum there, so I said goodbye and left.
I did a few more direct opens there were received well but went nowhere.
I see some delicious tanned legs on the other side of the street, and a voice in my head goes ‘nahhh man. She’ll probably just reject you like the last 5 girls. There’s no point…’
Obviously I know this thinking is total bullshit, but it still comes up from time to time. The deciding factor in me taking action isn’t whether I have that voice in my head or not, it’s whether I chose to listen to it or let it control my actions.
But I have a dualistic voice in my head that says ‘Go and do it, who knows what might happen.’
The other motivational factors that influence me are ‘Why not? Would you rather walk by yourself just looking at her? What do you have to lose?’
And also ‘What kind of man are you? Are you the kind of guy who pulls the trigger? Are you the kind of guy that goes after what he wants? Are you the kind of guy that deserves hot girls?’
So the positive outweighs the negative and I approach direct. She has headphones in and can’t hear me, but my eyes say it all.
She responds well, with an accent. She’s German, staying till Monday. (I always find that out when they’re a backpacker, super important logistically).
I tell her we can’t get married then, unless she wants to use me to extend her visa. I say ‘we'll get married now, have our honeymoon when I finish work, and get divorced tomorrow before you leave’.
I tell her she has really nice backpacker skin, and stroke her neck sensually with my thumb. She responds well, with a sly smile and a grin. At this point I know I’ll fuck her. Or at least I know I can make it happen, I just have to create that reality and follow through with it.
She’s got a pretty cute face, but her body is killer. Perfect tanned skin, athletic body and nice juicy tits, and short shorts and a tight top to show off her assets.
I met her at 11.48 and I have to teach Approach Energy infield starting at 12 at the State library. She was going to the library too, so she waited with me on the steps for the class to arrive. As we walked up the steps I hold her hand all formal and ye olde style. I do this every time I go up or down stairs with any chick for a laugh and also as a great touch moment, and for playing me into the archetype of a seducer/gentleman.
“You should touch a woman like she is already your lover”.
While there I said ‘so what makes you special’ and she said, ‘I dunno, what makes you special?’ and I said ‘I have a job that transforms peoples lives’.
She said ‘I'm a no-drama kind of person’ which was an okay start. Then I said ‘hmm, are you a good kisser?’ she says ‘yes’.
I say ‘kiss my arm then’ and she’s not sold on the idea. I don’t take this as an all out rejection, I just say ‘okay on the hand then’ and she gives me a peck.
I kiss on the inner arm for about 3 seconds, lots of sensual tongue.
She says ‘do you always do this with girls on the street?’ and I say ‘only the hot ones. And I figure its better than drunken bar pickups. Right?’
Then I get her to stand up and show her the ‘Aussie Lean’ as James calls it, which is a touch tactic drunk guys accidently use where they just kind of lean into the chicks because they’re swaying from booze.
She laughs and then a few Approach Energy students rock up. I introduce her as ‘my wife’ and put my arm around her. I turn to face her, and for the next minute I can’t remember what we talk about. I'm standing next to her giving her a hellfire eyes burn, and we’re both wearing shorts so I'm grazing my leg up against hers really sensually, but with clear intent. It feels really good, so much sexual tension.
I tell her we have to meet after the class, and get her number. She goes into the library and the class starts.
The class was awesome; 3 guys got instant dates, and everyone got at least 2 phone numbers. Good fun was had by all.
During the class I text her about our wedding, she says we can’t get married because she wants an expensive one with a band, I say cool as long as the band is Slayer, she doesn’t reply. I text her after work, and she says ‘what are you up to?’ I say ‘I'm meeting you to plan our wedding. Where’s you hostel? Want to meet a flinders steps?’
She says ‘Ah our wedding?’ as if to imply ‘we’re NOT getting married’. So this was total non-compliance, apart from the fact that she texted back. It would have been easy to get disheartened, but I just see that she’s playing/testing me, so I write back ‘divorce planning’ and she says ‘ok could be there in 25 min, k?’ I say ‘make it 24 min and it’s okay’.
On the way, I approach 5 chicks and get all their numbers. 2 have boyfriends but I say lets be friends, doesn’t hurt to have hot female friends. One of the single ones responded SO well. Athletic blonde chick, I go direct, she says thanks, we chat for 20 seconds and she goes ‘soo I guess we should exchange numbers or something and go for coffee?’ woo! Didn’t even have to ask for the number.
She’s 24, runs her own business and seems really confident and direct. I dig it.
I approach another hottie who’s on the phone, a blonde glam girl. I nearly didn’t approach but then she hung up. Good interaction for a few minutes, then she gets a call from her friend who she’s meeting, so I pull out my phone, put her name in, and hand it to her. She types in her number while on the phone and walks off. We’ve been texting since last night, lots of investment and her sending 2 texts when I don’t reply, she’s pushing for a meetup.
Even if she flakes, I don’t care. How much have I invested? 2 minutes of my life talking to a pretty girl and 75c texting her. For the outcome of conditioning myself to be a trigger puller and knowing that I gave it a shot, and opening the potential reality of bringing a sexy girl into my life. All on the way home from work, and on the way to meet a girl (who I’m about to seduce).
Anyway, back to the German. I meet her at the steps, grab her hand and walk like I'm already her lover. She’s surprised but flattered. We walk towards Southbank, and I tell her we’re going to check out the crown water show.
As we're walking she’s pretty cold/unresponsive. First it throws me a bit but again its one of those moments where I say to my self:
‘Dude. CHILL OUT. You’ve already had really overt sexual touching with her, and she’s agreed to meet you and is still hanging out with you. Its HIGHLY LIKLEY she is just nervous, so roll with it as if that’s the case’.
I still do the hand hold down the stairs thing each time. We get to the super long spiral stairs going down to Southbank and I'm holding her hand the whole way, and halfway down I lean her into the rail and kiss her on the forehead. She shakes her head and says ‘uh-uh’ and I put out my cheek for her to kiss me, and she hesitates. I hold the tension and then she does it.
We keep walking, I ask her stuff like ‘what makes you special’ etc. and she has these vague answers.
She says ‘you’re weird’. And I say ‘thank you’ with a grin. Then I say ‘sorry would you prefer me to ask boring questions like ‘where are you from, oh cool what part of Germany? Oh cool is that near that other city? Oh cool, so how long are you traveling for? oh cool. Yeah my friend went on holiday once. He took a backpack. etc’
She laughs.
I kept trying to leave silence/space to get her to invest, but she wasn’t. I still used this to my advantage by looking at her sideways with a cheeky grin, and every time she looked back I’d look away. It was as if I knew something that she didn’t. She was smiling too, the silent tension was building, and eventually said ‘what?’ and I said ‘what?’ and she said ‘what?’ and I said “huh? You asked me "what" first’ and she said ‘why are you doing that face?’ and I said ‘what face?’
Cue more silence, repeat. I figured it wasn’t working and started initiating conversation again.
After asking her bunch of ‘deep questions’ and her not investing much in the conversation, I realize I'm over qualifying her. I say ‘I think you are nervous to talk because you think I'm going to judge you if you ask a boring question.’
She says ‘yes... that’s true’. So I say ‘okay sorry. We can start with boring questions and that gives us more information to take the conversation to interesting places.’
She asks about where I grew up and I tell her a story about when my family moved from Sydney to Melbourne when I was young and Dad getting pulled over by a cop. Earlier we had put underpants on the back of Dad’s headrest as a prank. The cop was weirded out and didn’t give us a ticket.
Woo, boring questions lead to interesting conversations!
Its moments like that that make me so glad to have field experience and calibration. I could have easily lost the interaction at this point if I kept pushing her to invest in this ‘tell me how amazing you are’ paradigm, especially when she has limited English and is already a bit nervous.
Her mindset would just be a choice between ‘staying here with this random guy who’s consistently making me feel uncomfortable/nervous...OR leaving. Pretty easy choice. Even if the nervousness stems from her wanting to impress me, it could still be too much negative energy for her to endure, so she could bail.
So glad I picked up on that one and changed it up the dynamic. Again it comes back to the fact that I wasn’t stuck in my head and I was able to read her signals.
She seemed to open up a lot more after that. I asked her if she was adventurous and she said “it depends on who I'm with and the context.”
We got to crown and chilled out at the water fountain thing for a while. She told me how she’s a kickboxer, and about why she got her nipple pierced. She told me about growing up in her small town and how shit it was.
I told her I had to go to the toilet and took her with me. Going down the escalators I grabbed her hand, and didn’t let go when we got off. I lead her down to the hall to the toilet, there was all this tension between us and I thinking ‘fuck! This is really gonna happen! Getting laid in crown casino toilets again!’
I get there, still holding her hand, and press the disabled toilets open button. It makes a long ‘buzzzzz’ sound and doesn’t open. My heart is racing. My palms are sweating into hers. I press it again. ‘buzzzzzzz’. Nothing. I can feel my pulse pumping in my neck. She goes ‘uh....umm.’ and walks into the girls toilets.
FUCK. I don’t even know what happened; I'm guessing someone was in there already.
I go take a piss in the male toilets and come back out. While I'm waiting, I try it again and it opens!
She comes out and I say ‘come here’ and take her hand. She comes halfway through the door, and goes ‘huh?’ and I go ‘come in’, looking into her eyes with full sexual intent. She goes ‘why?’ and I go ‘I want to show you something’ and she goes ‘no! I'm not coming in there with you.’ And I go ‘its really cool, you have to be in here to see it’.
She says ‘why do you want me to come in there?’ and I say ‘I'll give you a hint’ and push her up against the wall and kiss her forehead again, and then on her lips really quick. She kisses back but its short, and turns and starts walking back out from the toilet.
Again this is one of those moments where I could have lost it. If I had been weird or nervous or been thrown by her non-compliance to toilet sex, it would have closed off any future windows of opportunity.
Instead I just rolled with it, didn’t change my frame. We got back on the escalators and I still was holding her hand, and she seemed totally unphased, but I KNEW no one could experience a near toilet sex experience and be so relaxed, and on the escalator I said ‘how’s your heart rate?’ and put my hand on her neck, and her pulse was through the roof!
She grinned and kind of blushed. I said 'I knew it! You are a good actor though. You could get a job as a negotiator, or a poker player. Anything where you need to hide you emotional state.'
We kept walking outside, chatting about her potential career in terrorist negotiations. I'm doing the sideways glance thing at her again, and she says ‘you are seriously the weirdest person I’ve ever met’. And again I say ‘thank you’ with full sincerity.
She said this at least 5 times, and every time I said ‘thank you’. Irrelevant of what she meant, I chose to interpret it as a compliment. However, I actually think she meant it as a compliment anyway.
I’ve been doing this type of seduction for years and I just realized it’s from Donnie Darko. He was the first archetype that I modeled myself on, being different/mysterious/ intriguing.
The fact that I can ‘be myself’ which is obviously slightly on the edge/quirky to other people (but feels normal for me) and still get results is so validating in a positive way. I don’t have to change my personality, my humor, my conversation etc. I DID have to adapt it over time so that I'm using it in a way that serves me, but at the end of the day I’ve come full circle to be able to ‘be myself’ during pickup and still get results.
Anyway, still holding hands, and I said ‘so have you ever done anything crazy like that before?’ and she says ‘like what’ and I say ‘what nearly just happened in the toilets?’. I forget her answer but I think due to the fact that I brought it up like it was positive, her reaction was good. It was like it released some of the tension by acknowledging the scenario as a bit extreme, so that she knew that I understood it was out there, and I wasn’t just a psycho with no social intuition.
We eventually got to the bridge under Southbank. I said ‘check out the view from here’ and pulled her over to a part where the pillar was between us the walkway. No one on our side of the river could see us, but if you were on the other side of the river with binoculars you would have.
I pushed her against the wall the she kissed me passionately. I nuzzled and licked her neck, and put my hands on her ass. I was super dominant and sexual, groaning and breathing really heavy in her ears. I put my hands on her hips inside her shirt, then went to finger her. She said ‘no! Not here!’
And I said ‘but no one can see.’
And turned her around so her back was to the river and she was against the low wall. I said ‘no one can see us here, it just looks like we’re kissing’ and slid my hand down. She was nicely moist; I fingered her for about 2 minutes while kissing her. She said ‘is there somewhere else we can go?’ and I said ‘the Crown Casino toilets?’ and she said ‘no, somewhere more comfortable’ and I said ‘the toilets are fine, I'll fuck you against the wall like this’ and turned her around and dry fucked her doggystyle while breathing in her ear and biting her neck and squeezing her tits. She loved it.
She said ‘lets go to my hostel. I have a room to myself.’
So we walk back, normal conversation the whole way. We get in the lift and two guys who seem over keen on her are like ‘hey! Haven’t seen you in a while! I lost your number, what is it again?’
I just stand to the side and almost act like I don’t know them and I'm just a stranger/random while she reluctantly gives this over-friendly guy her number. The guys get out of the lift and she rolls her eyes, and I go ‘good job or me keeping quiet yeah? I figured I should keep it subtle in front of them’ and she’s like ‘yep’ with a grateful look on her face.
Again this is one of those small, seemingly insignificant moments that seemed like the theme of the day. There were so many of these small logistical hurdles where I COULD have lost it. Her challenging me on the marriage role-play, her lack of investment in the texts, her nervousness at my conversation, her resistance on the stairs, in the toilet, the first time I tried to finger her at Southbank etc. So grateful that my experience allows me to navigate these potentially rough waters with ease.
We get to her room, I slam her against the wall, we tear off each others clothes. I suck her tits, and then spit out my mint, and she freaks because she had a nipple ring, and she thought I had bitten it off and was spitting it out!
I whack a condom on and fuck he against the wall from behind just like I had suggested. Her pussy is so wet and I slide in so easily. Her ass looked so amazing, arching back to receive the cock.
We fucked for ages in so many diff positions, against the wall, on the bed her riding me, me fucking her doggystyle on the bed, doggystyle with her out of the window, front on her sitting on the windowsill.
I was able to pump her really fast and hard (just like in the pornos) which is what I thought I always wanted, but it didn’t feel that good for me. I could barely feel my dick, and twice I went soft and had to pull out and get her to suck me off. Or just start touching her tits and ass really sensually again to make myself want to be inside her.
Her body was so tight, really athletic. Firmest ass I’ve felt in ages, and her tits looked and felt so good shaking from my pounding. It was such a turn on.
While fucking her from behind I spat on my hand and I was rubbing her clit so hard. She’s screaming 'yes! I like it rough!' I was slapping it and rubbing it back and forth really hard. I was surprised how hard I could go, other girls in the past shiver and its too intense for them like that.
I end up with her on the bed and me giving her these really slow, but really HARD, pounds from behind. It felt so good, its like every time I enter her I'm orgasming. You know that feeling just before you ejaculate, when you’re all buzzed up? It’s like I had that feeling but extended for about 5 minutes.
Learning to control my ejaculatory muscle and exploring tantra philosophies I learned from James and Shae has had such a massive impact on my sex life.
I was pinning her down and entering her, and biting her, partly for stimulation and also partly as a way for me to redirect my sexual energy away from my cock and through my whole body.
She was so wet and turned on at this point, the slow intense stuff was so much more powerful than the fast frantic fucking from before. I'm guessing the fact that I was so into it now was a turn on for her too. She could feel I was loving it and it made her horny.
She said ‘Fuck me! Fuck me!’ and I’d just say ‘I'm gonna fuck you slow how I like it’ and I was ramming her SO HARD.
Eventually I cascaded over into a powerful ejaculation. Once you get to a certain point with tantra, ejaculation feels good, but it really doesn’t compare to the extended pleasure of being in that pre-cumming zone for so long.
In an ideal world I would have been able to fuck her longer, but even how long and well I fucked her is a sign of how far I've come in the bedroom. A year ago I probably would have blown within 30 seconds from nervousness. Next on my list is to master orgasm without ejaculation while inside her. I can do it during a solo session but not inside a woman yet.
After the sex I asked her a bunch of feedback questions. She said ‘well when we went into the toilets I was scared, I've had bad experiences before. One time a drunk man in a country town cornered me on a deserted street and started jacking off in front of me’.
So for me that is like a massive testament to how good my calibration was in that circumstance. The fact that I was able to guide her through that experience, on a knife-edge of her comfort zone, without pushing her over the edge and still leading to sex is awesome.
I said 'I knew within 15 seconds of talking to you that we would have sex'. I asked her about that and she said 'yeah. It was obvious pretty fast. I mean, obviously we're not getting married and I’m leaving soon. Why else would I meet you? To sit and talk?'
It was interesting to hear that. It just goes to show how limiting beliefs WILL fuck you up. Imagine if I had doubted myself at any point in this interaction? The fact was that sex was on the cards for her, she was hyper aware of that, I just had to make it happen and not fuck up anything.
That’s something I learned from James: always ask the girls for feedback and do as much research as you can from the best source. In the right circumstances honest women can teach you lifelong lessons.
The best bit was, after I left, as I was walking back down the street, eating my pizza, in a daze, dreading having to drive to Belegrave and back and stay awake till 3am to play a gig, I saw a hot girl. I'm like ‘fuck it. I don’t have to approach this one time’. Then I was like ‘why the fuck not? How hard is it? What if I get her number and fuck her next week?’
I go direct. She barely responds, looks at me like I'm weird, and I say ‘cool, have a nice night’ and strut along.
It was a symbolization of the process of seduction to me, and the fact that you just gotta focus on the shit you can control (how much you approach, your communication skills, your dress sense), and ignore the stuff that’s outside your power.
‘Trust in the process’. I have that written on my wall, in reference to my guitar playing, which pretty much means ‘practice makes perfect.’
So the question I’ve always asked myself is ‘how long do you want it to take? The more experience you get, the faster you get good.’
So every approach I do like that is conditioning me to always have the ability to approach, to be the kind of guy that goes after what he wants, to be a trigger puller.
Here’s a pic of me dazed and confused afterwards at the station. As you can see, my fashion that day was sloppy as, mismatched, no consistency. And it looked like I had TRIED to dress well and failed, even worse. Earlier in the day one of the Approach Energy students said 'hahah you look that crazy hobo guy you always talk about.’ And later when me and the girl were walking on Southbank one of those loudmouth street performers waved to her, and then said to me 'nice, a suit jacket with shorts. Very AC/DC'
My poor clothing combination happened because I left my house in a rush and changed into shorts at the last minute. I am all for dressing well to stack the odds in your favor, but I am against thinking that it’s a reason to not approach. I've heard guys say shit like ‘I was in my gym clothes so I couldn’t approach.’ Total limiting belief.
So what allowed this to happen? Being the kind of person who always closes, having field experience in leading, escalation, logistics and calibration.
I was sober but I was still so fucked up at the gig that night. But I thought 'ah well, good training for when we go on tour. We’ll just be skating and partying all day, and then have to get up each night and put on a rocking show. At least I know what I’m dealing with now'
-----
Woo hoo, just got some validatin' feedback from her on Facebook.
Asking girls how the sex was is both informative and bragalicious. As I was writing this I just tried to spell check ‘bragalicious’.
She told me my profile photo is weird, here's her message:
-------
Yeah a weird photo suits you, because you are a weird person!:)
hmm some feedback, of course! and of course i want you to give me some feedback!!
ok but i hope i can express myself in english and you understand what i´m saying:
so the sex was really good, i like if guys are speaking while sex, because some guys just want to hear a women, but if i can hear a guy i know he likes it as well! i liked also that you made clear really early that you want sex with me...you didn´t waste the time for some stupid smalltalk (ok maybe a little bit stupid smallstalk 
) and you showed me how you want to have sex in which position...i like if the guy shows that he is the man and that he can controll you! and the sex was hard like you hold my hair when you fucked me from the back! i like dirty and hard sex but i think not every women likes that!
ok so the only thing i can criticise was that when i was supposed to come you started fucking me verly slowly so i didn´t come at this time, but at the end i still could come...so you are alright 
ok hope you understand i know some parts sound strange, but i can´t express better in english:)
CHAT
