Honestly, I feel this is way overdue. I have posted tons on this board about my growth and its about time I have things in a more organized central place. It will help me when I look back and review my growth.

Ok, so I'll start at the top. I'll be honest, I have never been completely BAD with women. My childhood was good. I had my first kiss at the age of nine. Which I don't think it counts, as it wasn't a REAL kiss, but I haven't been completely shy around girls.

I think a big turning point in my life was after I moved to the US. I found out that society’s rules towards sexuality in general were very strict, especially in a feminist country like the US. I recall as I grew up during those years that we were always told sex was bad and all of that stuff. Especially with those ridiculous sex ed classes. And I was always very obedient as a child, I learned to listen to adults. However later in life I learned to live by my own criteria, this was a big turning point for me later in life, but I'll get to that in a bit. Also, my family is Roman Catholic, and we went to church every Sunday, so that added more restrictions to my personal view on sexuality, in fact I started to view sex in general as taboo, almost bad, until I got to high school. I remember one thing that really set me in place, was when I got in trouble with the law at a very young age...

It was a really stupid thing too. When I was 9, recently moved to the US, something happened. I was on the bus ride back home. and sitting next to me was this really cute girl, a year older than me, behind her, was a little girl. Now I remember, the older girl had lost her Pepsi underneath the seats of the bus, and kept bending down to find it. Whenever she did this, the little girl behind her would smack her butt. Now I thought to myself, ha that looks fun. So when she bent down again to look for her Pepsi, I smacked her butt. Now she immediately felt the strength difference in the smack. And turned around and said "who did that?" Then looked at me, and smiled at me. Now this was all innocent and fun, I went home, and thought nothing of it. Now to my surprise, and my parents' as well, that night, the police showed up at my house. They wanted to investigate the incident on the bus, and tried to even push for pressing charges for sexual harassment... ON A 9 YEAR OLD BOY! Apparently, the sheriff's daughter was on the back of the bus, and saw the whole things unfold, she later went home and told her daddy. Now, we were the new family in this town, and most of it was racism issues. These people were trying to send a message, and I was caught in the cross-fire of things. Now as you can assume this whole experience was very shocking to a 9 year old boy... I mean, I really didn't do anything bad. And, well, I never really thought much of it. But I suppose that this created something in me. A restraint, where I would keep my instincts and impulses in check because I was weary of the consequences of my actions. Something that’s not a bad thing, not at all, but it did have some negative effects on y sex life later in life.

Now fast forward many years later... High school, the hormones, the puberty, the love, the lust... Oh puppy love... what days, huh? I never had a girlfriend in high school... In fact it wasn't until after high school that I actually had my first real kiss. Now this is not to say I was bad with women, well... shy around them to say the least. I liked talking to girls, and flirting with them, it was fun, and I saw it as a test of manhood. But I had my restraints. I was under the impression of always treating girls like ladies, with utmost respect and all of that crap... a.k.a. Putting the pussy on the pedestal. I would never neg, and hell no I wouldn't kino. And much to my dismay I watched as many of my high school crushes would lose interest in me and walk away when they started to get to know me because I wouldn't make direct moves. Then after a failure after prom, that ended in an embarrassing situation. I got some advice from my dad. Now my dad, is what the community would call a "natural" back in his day. He was fit, confident and a hair dresser to top it off. Many times he has talked about how he had all of the women he would desire, and how you have to be an ass, and confident, how its not a big deal, and that sex is natural, all of that stuff. I never really got his advice. Until this situation. He really broke things down for me, and started to tell me how its really done. However, being a natural, he couldn't completely explain it to me in a way where I could completely apply it. But I did the best I could. After high school I started dating a lot of girls, and really applying myself into getting better. I have always had a forward thinking attitude. And for every rejection and failure I have had, even before my father’s wise words. Each time I learned a very valuable lesson, I have moved forward and improved myself. I knew that the best way to learn things was through experience. I learned in martial arts, that pain only makes you stronger, and I learned this was true in life as well. So I was not afraid of taking leaps and chances. Little by little I began to get better with girls, breaking through my limitations and becoming not just better with girls, but a better person. My goal was never to get laid, or to get a girlfriend. It was simply self improvement. And it still is. It was an area of my life where I knew I was lacking, so like with physical training, I had to practice and train to get better. The way I see it, if I want to find someone truly special in life, someone who completes me, I have to be prepared to seize the best for myself, and to be the very best myself as well, and that, takes hard work.

Well, it wasn't till much later that I found this community and I heard about PUA. I was astounded at the fact that there REALLY was a community of people who could seduce women like that, take control of things, and that it was available information that could be found online for free. Men that could make women completely fall in love with them. I was under the impression that love... just sort of happens. Especially considering that I HAD looked online for advice a long time ago and found nothing but sappy bullshit. I mean, I had heard the stories of my dad... but I had never seen him in action. Now most of what I read on here, I already knew, for one, I was already down the path of self improvement, PUA just detailed it all out for me and saved me a couple more failures. You know, the main reason why I knew this stuff wasn't bullshit, was because it was congruent with the advice my father had given me. That’s when it all clicked. It made perfect sense, and I REALLY started to improve. However, because my goals and ambitions were different from most of the community, I let some of my beliefs establish themselves in my style. I use the material here as a supplement. I still play by my own rules, however I am constantly learning and changing, improving. I do owe a lot of my growth to this community, and I know that I sure as hell have much more to go. PUA has changed my mentality about things, it broke the process down for me so I could truly analyze my game, my persona and improve, not only that, but it showed me the side of psychology that I had always hoped to find, the side that is applicable and useful. Lastly, it broke my restraints, and changed my frame (it is not finished yet by any means, I think that I still have yet to completely break free), and allowed me to tap into a hidden power that I posses per-say. It gave me a glimpse of just how far I can go, and showed me a path that not many men take, a path, that leads to the goals that I want to accomplish in life, and all of those goals are by no means women related. I'll talk about those some other time.

I will say this however, I have set it out for myself to be the very best. The best I can possibly be. A true seducer. Any girl, anywhere, any circumstances. A real Casanova, or James Bond, however you wanna put it. Better than my dad, better than Adam Lyons, better than Style, but in a way that I recognize it, I will not value my own growth, by how many women I conquer, but rather in how well I feel I can take what I want with the greatest of ease. That is my goal in PUA. It will come well, as this will open other doors for me in life, having social mastery, and the skills that come with it, will give me the necessary skills to obtain other things in life, and move me closer to what I want out of life. Still I am by no means selfish... I wont get to where I want by stepping on others, or hurting others. I am well aware, that with greater power comes greater responsibility (yeah Spider-man quote... I know), I know that we are all learning very powerful stuff, and we have to be careful just how we use it, but that’s all part of the learning process isn't it?

So where this all leads me, we shall see. I'm gonna be using this Journal to talk about my adventures, and events of my life. Most of them will deal with women and seduction. I will post what I learn in the field, and what I learn through reading and what not, and any thoughts and discoveries that cross my mind that may be useful, both to myself and others, discoveries and other stuff that I'm sure the community will benefit from. I will also post some of the seduction techniques and routines that I use as I continue my path towards greatness... At this current time I am reading Styles' archives from the fastseduction forum, I recommend you guys look into that, there’s tons of info on what he used and you can see his growth, I look forwards to trying out his Evolution-Phase Shift Routine soon, it sounds like a blast. Also, for those of you who haven't check out David Shade's book, "Masterful Lover Foundations," definitely worth a read.

Anyways guys, for the time being I will leave with this.

I will post as often as I can, or am motivated to... hahahahaha

Cheers

_________________
"Be the change you wanna see in the world" -Gandhi

After chasing after my previous one-itis, I started to get caught in thinking a lot. As a result, I became very introspective. Not just in myself, but especially in others. This became a very central part of my game. Empathy and building bonds. I could swiftly move into a state of trust very quickly, and start to pick the person apart, and show that I really understand their character and person. Not only that, but it would frequently lead to intimate talks. This is great, many girls were astounded at my ability to connect with them. However, I started to be a bit lacking in other areas of my game. I would tease a lot less, kino less, I was getting sloppy in the other parts of my game. And this was because at the time, I was so focused on that one girl, that I simply didn't care. But now, it's time to kick it up a notch, while still keeping my newly earned skill.

So I am re-evaluating my current game for the time being and seeing where I can improve and polish things a bit. My game is a bit too slow, so I feel its time to backtrack a bit, and take it from the top.

Well, while at work, I made a list of things to work on and focus on while I do game.

So first on my list is kino. To really establish kino as a central part of my character. I have decided to kino EVERYONE. Become more touchy feely, so that it starts to become much more natural. Not that kino is a problem for me, but I dont wanna have to be so conscious about having to kino escalate as much, let it flow a bit more naturally.

Next, I had become so focused on the mid-game phase that my early game was starting to become really shallow. I was getting to the point where, because I know I would see most of my "targets" again, I simply wouldn't number close until I knew she was very attracted to me, focusing on really building my mid-game before I even bothered to get a number, practically making day2 experiences during the meet. Now this isn't bad, but I have to calibrate. I think it is best if I take a step back for a second, get a number/email/facebook close before I continue, make that first meet a bit more casual, that way I can farm for targets more, because it was getting to the point that sometimes I wouldn't see certain girls again before I got the number due to logistics and lose some opportunities.
So at least during those first 30 minutes, keep the intentions pure and casual, stick to just casual friendship. Especially since this part of my game is done during work hours.


Next, I don't wanna become so focused on backtracking that I forget the feeling I have for building strong bonds through intimacy. So to avoid this, I'm gonna focus on trying to build powerful intimate bonds with many people. Not just attractive girls. But everyone I can. Hell, I even toyed with the idea of just approaching random strangers and having a friendly talk with them, and then trying to build a bond, become genuinely interested in people you know? Finding out what makes people tick. Although, I don't think it is necessary to be so extreme as my job gives me the opportunity to talk to people every day. However, thats not a bad idea for when I can get back into running day game. What better way to warm up to the idea of approaching attractive girls at random than by being used to talking to strangers. That way not only do you already have a knack for it, but it simply comes naturally. Besides, I think its this kind of stuff that makes you an all around fun and truly empathetic person. You become more interested in people in general.

Well, thats what I have planned for now...

Also, I finished David Shade's book... I thoroughly recommend it to everyone and anyone who truly wants to get better at this.

_________________
"Be the change you wanna see in the world" -Gandhi

So I will post an update on things for a bit...

So this weekend I was gonna meet up with this girl, HB trust issues. Now I always make concrete plans last minute, I usually say, "I'll call you on the weekend to set the plans." Now this kinda backfired on me, and it normally does, when will I learn? Sunday I call her, and she doesn't answer, so I leave a text. "I'm heading out, you wanna join me and meet up for some coffee and a chat?"

No reply.... until 5 hours later. "Sorry I was out on the bike all day and didn't read you text till it was too late, hope you have a good time and enjoy your day out, Bye!"

A flake...

I was quite surprised, because I think I have mentioned this girl seemed to be very interested in me but a bit coy. Oh well, I'll just punish her by ignoring her a bit, I may run into her during class and stuff, no big, I'll just treat it as if nothing happened, be cool, I may bring it up and tease her about flaking. Maybe in a week or so, I'll give her a second chance. But thats the last one she will get.


Next, HB french teacher. This is a funny one. After I gave her an English class she was very enthusiastic about exchanging emails and facebooks. Something I tried to get from her a while back but couldn't due to logistics (someone hacked both of them) and I believe her cuz it looks like she did make a new facebook (even changed her name on it). During class, it was the usual, flirt and tease while connecting, building rapport. At the end, I hit the jackpot, I found a subject that she is very passionate about and managed to build on that by connecting. After that it was all easy. If she was interested before, shes more so now. (I think I even did some very minor sex talk during class, very light stuff, it was related to religion and stuff and how sex is a great way to feel connected to someone, and how its kinda counterproductive to marry someone you haven't had a chance to feel connected to, bc sex creates a very unique and powerful connection b/w two people; she agreed). Also did a bit of kino, talked about nonverbal communication and used it as an opportunity to hold her hand and squeeze (now this is one thing I never quite understood, you guys always say if she squeezes back she is most likely really interested in you, by squeeze do you mean, "entangle your fingers and close hands with each other?" because every single girl I do this to has reciprocated, even some that I am very sure are not interested in me).

Well, i have noticed that now shes a lot more touchy-feely with me. Quite a lot actually, but people say French people tend to be very touchy-feely in general, so I'll take it with a pinch of salt. Still thats a behavioral change. I'll try to set up a day2 where its just the two of us when I have free time. Right now with Easter week everyone is scrambling so I don't plan to make plans with anyone in the coming week anyways.

Still, there was ONE thing that kinda put me off a bit. One time, when she was leaving, her goodbye was a... high five. It was very strange and overly casual. I thought to myself... "What the hell? Friends Zoned?" Prolly not a big deal, esp considering that she went back to her old antics again. It's ok though, this girl has a BF. Still I don't plan stealing her, she's only here for a bit, then she goes back to France, and I don't do LDRs. So I will try to pull a Summer love, and give her the pleasure her BF cant provide, under discretion of course

Next, HB Koala. The one from that long ass FR that few people talked on. Now I said I was gonna distance myself. And I have. Funny thing is 2 weeks. And suddenly shes chasing after me. I swear, women are like cats. Chase em, and they want out. Ignore the shit out of them, and they will do everything possible to get your attention. I teased her about being busy and not, and she replied with "lots of work," every time. However once I tried to get her to talk about what shes been up to she said the same thing and added, and personal problems have made my life chaos these last two weeks. I replied "Oh really?" she simply said "yep." Didn't pursue anymore answers, I felt like she WANTED me to ask. So I didn't. I can only assume thats its something to do with the BF, thats why she's so clingy all of the sudden. I said some things about morals and values and whatnot, and then ended the convo. Next day she got back online to talk again, had some fun, today same thing again, and shes not stopping. She's gotten very flirty as well. The way I see it. There's BF trouble again, and like I said she would come back when there was. I will just play it based on my dad's advice. You don't STEAL girlfriends, just play it casually and slow, keep her hooked and she will fall into your lap all by herself. He said "El interes tiene patas." (interest has legs), she will do most of the work herself as long as shes interested. So thats that with that one.


Thats the scoop with those three targets. Uhm, now as for my game goes. There has been an influx in HBs at work, so I will jump on that. I'm gonna try and focus on quicker closes so I don't have to rely on multiple classes to get a number. 2 is my limit. Will push for one.

You know I learned something about my game. I have decided to keep the deep connection/rapport till much later. Which is part of the escalation model, but its different once you experiment with it yourself, you see all the reasons why its the way it is. Don't play all your cards at once, keep em hooked with your mystery. I guess I was playing around with it bc it was so effective on HB Koala, but I have to remember that with her I didn't even try to connect till much later. But its kinda cool, putting all the pieces together yourself you know.

Also new things to work on. Less texts more calls, I have had a knack of texting over calling, simply bc calls are too damn expensive. Text keep it short an simple. But in retrospect, texts are very impersonal, I'm gonna star calling more. Girls tend to notice these details, and it makes a big difference. I already said the quicker closes and following the Escalation model. I dunno I had other things... but its late, and I forgot, I'll post em when I remember.


One last thing:
The way I see it. As a Pick Up Artist, it is my duty to be the best and most amazing lover any girl can possibly have. Seriously, when I compare myself to other men, I have one thing most don't have when it comes to game. And that is direction. I know what steps to take and how. What the proper moves are, and why. I know the exact frame to take under different parts of the seduction. And I understand what women want. This is all a combination of knowledge from the community, and experience. That is what separates me from the crowd, and that is why I am the prize. Because I KNOW, these girls wont meet anyone else quite like me again unless they are really damn lucky. And honestly trying out some of these routines is quite fun. Especially when its for the first time. Like the Evolution Phase Shift Routine, I am itching for an opp to try that one soon. And the fact that everything is just fun and games, just makes you THAT more bold and THAT more fun and interesting. Because you do shit other guys wouldn't think about and wouldn't have the balls to try, all while holding these girls' hands and showing then a world they have never seen before, fulfilling all their fantasies. Teaching them. Thats what makes us so special, and THATS why we have such high standards, because we know what we are worth, and these girls gotta work damn hard to get these fulfillments. At least thats what a PUA, a seducer, a "Masterful Lover," is to me.

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"Be the change you wanna see in the world" -Gandhi