Hey lads,

Whilst beiing sick today, and feeling crap, i felt myself sliding down the hill again. I've been analysing alot of my thoughts, and came to the conclusion, that my happyness totaly relys on my confidence.

And my confidence is easily destroyed.

Who am I
I am Flurrie, aged 17 and come from a relatively small town in Holland. I am introvert and my main passion is reading. I am in the last grade of highschool.

What's the problem

The main problem is, that very small things can make me very insecure. Like when I had to mail a research proposal to some professor, i just did'nt dare to read my male for two days, like djeesh

The other problem is that i'm not very skilled in the game, wich relates to the main problem.

The goals

I understand, that as one fail for something, one feels sad, but with me it has allways been worst than sad, and I want to end that.

I have two main things to do:

Get better at the game (become a pua) and to overcome my fear of failure.

How to achieve

To actually do this, I will need some pressure, and this thread is ideal for it. I will write during this week, what I have done, regarding the game and, in lesser account, overcoming my fear of faillure.

First week's goal

Have fun! Talk to girls, lose (a bit of) the AA.
Don't watch any porn! - it makes me feel shit.

Who wants to give me some advise is allways welcome, and maybe you will even find yourself to like reading about this kind of stuf.

C'ya tomorrow for the first report

The First day

Today was a good day, not that I have accomplished major things, I just felt good.

After comming out of bed I still felt a litle sick, but thought, what the heck, just go to school. That was a good desicion, I took more part in conversations than I normally do and had a few talks with HB's out my class:

First, me and a few classmates where talking about the future, what would we go and do after highschool. HB8.5 joins in and talks along a bit. After a few minutes, everyone told the rest of us wat he wanted to tell, except HB8.5.

Me: So (her name) what will you be doing after highschool?
HB: well, blablabla, beta studie, bla bla bla.
Me: Oh nice, bla bla bla

Here the convo stopped, the bell rang and whe had to go off to class. I am not gaming her by any chace btw, she is the ex-ltr of a friend, and he still feels crap after she broke up to him.

In class I had a conversation with a HB6.5, I decided to practice some kino. First I touched her shoulder and arm, later I found myself stroking her lower back and ass She did not move away and kept the convo going because I was actually stunned at how easy this was. In the brake I sat next to her and stroke her leg under the table, she did not react at all, but again didn't move away.

In the next class I had to share my book with a girl next to me, she forgot hers, but as though she touched me very much, I didn't do kino on her, she did not turn me on however she is at least a HB6, kinda strange.

I am actually stunned at what you can do with kino Not that I never spoke to the girl before, but still, I am far from a friend of hers, let alone her boyfriend.

C'ya later

Tomorrow mission: Don't forget to buy a ticket for the cristmass ball!!!

Question for you guys: What do you think: is it better to let her break kino, or do it yourself?

yo check out my thread. it's got some books referenced that helped me a lot.