Target is a Korean(HBkor) from overseas, came to the US this late July, about 2 months here. Met her through a meetup group in mid August. HBkor smiles and asks question about me, giving a vibe of great interest in me, even though I wasn't as keen or energetic as returning back the interest vibe. Went home early, saw her mingling and having fun with another group, didn't get her contact because of my timidness.

Next month, saw that she opened a FaceBook account. Sent her a friend request and introing myself again. She posted on my wall

HBkor : "Hi~~~ how have you been? Do you remember me? It was really nice to meet you that day^.^"

I took that as a sign of interest and messaged her privately
Date took place last Saturday. Arrived there 4 minutes earlier and called her that I was at the station. Her tone was lacking interest. We talked about which specific place at the station to meet then told me to give her a few minutes to get there. Minutes passed, she called again, met her. She gave a look that you would see in people that you haven't met in a long time. She smiled then we shook hands. We then went to HONEY HONEY. I wasn't used to walking with another person in a very busy and crowded street, so I remembered dodging and splitting abit from her while we were walking. Just some small talk while walking.

Arrived at HONEY HONEY, insisted on paying the whole lunch, even though she said she wants to chip in. I did pay the whole lunch. Didn't notice she got a glass of water for both of us. Thought it was nice of her. The conversation topics were about her and me and Korea and USA differences. HBkor mentioned HONEY HONEY is her favorite and comes here often. Food came, offered her a bit of my dish for her to try. She refused. Conversations continued, topic similar. Saw her using all the syrup and told her I wanted some. Said sorry, gave me a piece of her food that she put syrup on.

She suggested StarBucks. I said sure. Felt more at ease walking together and less people, too. She said she'll pay for both of it and I said sure and thanked her for that. Sat down, talked, got our drinks. Again, I offered her a sip before I drink mine, but she refused. Difference in this conversation this time is she talked a bit more about what she believes in life and gave me a bit of a doggy bowl look. Corrected her English pronunciations and she doesn't looked pissed about it and smiled instead. She talked about how hard English is and her problems with it and that she has no one to speak English to on a constant basis. I told her this "Well, you have me now". Her female friend from San Jose (San Jose is about 50 miles south just to let you know) called and HBkor said that her friend needs someone to accompany her on a party hosted by a rich Korean guy. HBkor said she needs to go by 4pm, about and hour and half to go. I said "ok, we are going to meet again tomorrow as a group". She said "Thanks for you understanding!". The group is made of people that HBkor met from the SF Language meetup. Talked a bit more and I thought to myself that sitting here all day isn't the best idea so I told her that we should take a walk around the mall.

I am not a San Francisco guy, so she finds the way back to the mall instead. No talk, maybe a question here or there. Her face was blank this time. Arrived at mall, this time the conversation's difference is about where and what I want to buy. Told her I wasn't here to buy any. Walked into first clothing store and asked her jokingly "What clothes would look sexy on me?". She laughed a bit at this, but made no move in suggesting clothes. Walked around the mall together, no talk. She suggested clothing stores to go into. I said sure. She acts and looks like she isn't invested in spending her time in the store. Just walking around the store. Still no big talk. Went into a bookstore and what I find a "huh" moment was when she said she liked reading a book about Hitler. "What? Why do you like reading a book about a bad guy?" Didn't give a concrete answer.

Went up an escalator, nudged her a bit to see how she feels about it. She said "What?" and smiled. I said it was nothing, I just like to nudge. Another escalator, and nudged her more aggressively and same response. Our time is about to expire so we went downstairs. I put my arms around her shoulder and asked her if she's ok with this. No resistance and she laughed "Yeah, we're friends". I let go of my arm after several seconds. She says that she will be getting money from her parents next month and I said "You have very nice parents". Arrived at the station, we shook hands, she smiled and said "It was nice meeting you!". "Hugs?" I asked, and we hugged. Said goodbyes and we departed.

Arrived home and sent her a message
She posted something on her wall, 2 hours after I send her the message and no reply. 3 hours later, I saw that she is on FaceBook and asked her if she got the message. She said yes and told me the when and where. I asked where is this place specifically then she logged off suddenly. So, I just google mapped it. Next day, I was going to have a late train so I gave her a call but her phone was out of service! When I arrived at the place, called her again but her phone was out of service. So to make my time worthwhile, I just explored the city.

Arrived home, sent her a message about the day
No reply after several days. Saw her post on her wall so I know she knows of the message. So that makes me wonder: what did I do wrong?

Well Aisaum,

sees we've had a similar date this saturday (see my post on what to learn from my mistake). If you study the mystery method, you will see that the friend zone is usually there after you have been stuck in the comfort building phase for too long. The girl will then like you, but think the "right feeling" for you as a sexual object stays away for too long and therefor she thinks it better to be friends. You had lots of conversation, but you 'didn't do enough to get her blood pumping on a romantic/sexual thus PUA level.

Avoid restaurants and a sterile place like starbucks, instead pick cosey places were you can isolate her en sit NEXT to her and only got your drinks to worry about. Keep touching her, study kino escalation. Run routines, make her meditate with you, etc. etc.

I got AFC this weekend and suggested a good old fashion AFC date that was agonizing... glad we are in this together partner. Lets learn and move on...

I think she flaked you cause she's afraid to reject you in your face or on the phone or something... sorry man.

Good luck!

greetz Buccaneer

_________________
I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor. -Admiral Horatio Nelson

"I just got home. I was happy to see you again and spending a fun time with you. Thanks for the Starbucks. Your English is improving! I will help you. Keep up the good work! to seeing you again tomorrow."

Too long. And why you sent it so quickly?

Don't say
"I'm looking forward..."
" i will help you..."
Thanks? )))) for that?....Maybe for this "Yeah, we're friends"
This girl is strange i think..."she said she liked reading a book about Hitler."

I'm have many things and opinions, but my English is bed.))
From Moscow with love.

Good day,

Ok, well first off, remember you still got to the first date, which is more then some AFC I know. Except that in your facebook reply you seemed to eager... remember you need to get women to want you and chase you. If you run after them they will instinctively back away.

You could've said something along the lines of Oh i live nearby, tell you what let's meet halfway, i'll meet you at: (insert name of cozy cafe near station) at : 1 PM (you should insert the time your train arives, or shortly after so that you are certain that she will be waiting for you, not the other way around.)

And as for Honey Honey, you should've replied by saying, pick a number between 1-10 ... let's try something new, we can walk around, and chose the x restaurant we see.

and stick to that. Even if it is a horrible restaurant, you can manipulate it so that it is an environment that the only thing she is confortable or knows is you, so she will associate new experiences and entertainment with you.

during Dinner you don't really offer to share plates, but you can make comments on how incredible, or how horrible your food is... and so on. I will conceide that the syrup comment was good, and that i will try it as well if it ever happens...

What you need to show her is how Fun and incredible you are. But mostly that the only reason you are there is not her.

Talk to the waitress, flirt with her a little. One game that my Wing plays wonderfully (Five-O, chime in if you want to here) is he will start a story about a cool or crazy adventure when he was young and when the waitress comes by, you don't acknowledge her. you continue with your story a bit, and when your date looks over you, you turn towards the waitress and say :

I'm terribly sorry but i am telling a wonderfull story here about x ... here sit down for a bit i'm almost done, you will love this.

and you finish the story and direct it slightly more towards the waitress. big laugh at the end ... smile .. and then you look at the waitress and say, so ... how can i help you this evening!


After the date, I don't agree with coffee, since you were just in a restaurant, it's time to get moving. She got bored and put all her attention to her party, she even put a false time constraint on you. At this point you were fighting an uphill battle. However you did get a change of venues.

You did great in the first clothes shop ... asking her opinion on what you need to look sexy .. beautifull ... what you could do as well is play a game, ask her to pick 5 items that you have to try on and you will do the same for her ... you can therefore test her boundaries and her playfulness ...

Second store, when she is her back to her, pick up a cute hat and drop it on her head ... look at her and then say ... no, that hat is way to cute for you!

The nugdges were good, but when you put your arms around her, you shouldn't of asked permission, you already got permission when you nudged and she smiled!

And as for setting a future date for the next day, you shouldn't bring it up at all. After leaving the mall you can always look at her, stop her in her tracks, grabs both arms, say this is far enough, ... give her a kiss (on the cheek or lips ... depends on the moment) and say you have been released ... go forth and party!

Turn around an head for the station. At this point you leave it at that. She may follow you, she may not, but what you don't want to do is get home and get on facebook right away.

Just let the date hang in her mind. She will talk about it that night ... she will think about you ... and then when she gets home and realizes that you didn't try to contact her or acknowledge her she will be curious as to what you are doing.

Remember you have to convey to her that she is taking up your time, that you are an important man. Not that she is indulging your attraction.

In the end i believe you will only hear from this girl when she needs someone to talk to ... when this happens remember the words of wisdom from past PUA's. next time she sets a meeting, tell her you will look into it, and then change the date on her to make it more convenient for you ... and then you put a false time constraint ...

Ok, hope this helps.

- cheers

Boot-it