HEllo, this is my first post. I've heard alot about this whole PUA thing from a friend of mine who is a distance runner as well as me, so I've learned quite a bit while on runs already.

Anyway, I have known the best runner on the girl team for quite some time now (i'm a junior on the highschool xc team btw) and I one day asked if she'd go for a run. She said definately, but we couldn't because she had practices all this week. So I asked her if she wanted to go to the movies instead. Not only did she say yes, but she was the one who called me back telling me what movie she wanted to see. So all was well, until the date itself began. I suck at dates...always have.

First problem was that she picked me up, because I have a license but no car. On the way we did talk about running and crap, both of us talking the same amount (for once I wasnt the only one asking the queestions, which I know is good). When we got there I found out the hard way that my movie gift card had no balance on it, and she didn't have enough money either. HEr stepdad had to drive over to give some money (she told me later that he really liked me, even though all I said was that i'd pay them back, which I will). So in the movies, having never learned when to put the arm around, II just sat there akwardly, but still talking to her casually. in about 15 minutes or so I did put my arm around her, and she leaned into it, like most girls do. I told her I figured she would be more comfortable, and she agreed, and asked if I was. THe next problem I encountered was a mix of physical discomfort from hangng my arm outward and nervousness that made my arm shake, so I kept figeting to make it comfortable. When it was, I went in for the hand holding which may have been a bit much, while I look back at it, cuz I had my arm around her, and held her hand. But I did it by asking if it was uncomfortable to have it hanging off of the the solid arm-rest, and she said it was, so I held out my hand and gently grasped hers. Once the movie was over I asked if she would like to go to mcdonalds, where I work, and she said she doesnt like fast food, so I pushed a tad further and asked if she'd like to have some cocoa at my place (since im under 18 and obviously dont have my own place, I'm certain she didn't think this meant sex). She said she'd ask her mom, who she called, but got the answer no. on the way back we talked about meeting up again, and she went through the days out loud and said friday could work. when we got to my house, I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek (i wanted to get a kiss close, but didntwant to freak her out, so I found something in between, which probably wasnt a good idea :/ ). Later, on facebook that night, she imed me, and I brought up frday again. Suddenly, however, I got worried she didnt really want to go, and then I thought, what could she possibly say if she didn't?. So in fear of making her feel obligatedm, I said i didn't want to come across as pushy and make her feel obligated. Even though she said she did want to hang out and didn't feel obligated, I think I BETAd myself. So finally, I suggested we go skating, and she said it was a great Idea, and then I said I had to go to bed, and left by saying I'll talk to her soon.

So did I completely fail? becase I keep getting bad feelings about it, especially after going over all the bad things. Not to mention at school I dont have the best rep, so her friends may convince her to not see me. THat did happen once, because I met a girl at a dance, made out with her, got her number, and a few days later she said she just wanted to be friends. It was a funny "coincidence"
because my friend told me her friends made fun of her for making out with me.

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Everyone has equal potential, some just chose not to use the resources they have.

ok, so since no one helped me, I proceeded on my own. Luckily I don't think I've blown it yet. We talked on facebook again, but it was for 2 hours. She really did seem to come on to me playfully, and it was great. She said I was funny and the time just flew by We had a plan to go ice skating today, and she had told me she would go to a new year's eve party with her friends, which I was cool with, since I did the same. However, this morning, I called at like 11:00 am ish letting her know id be picking her up this time, and she said she was tired, and she'd call me later. She did, but said she was tired, and since we both have a meet tomorrow, I could understand that she'd want to sleep for it. I pressed it a little bit though, and asked if maybe later tonight she'd want to hang out, if she was just napping. She said she'll just go to bed early. So I pushed just once further and asked about tomorrow, which is the day of our track meet. She said the oh-so-hated-by-me phrase "We'll see" and then continued with "and if not, then maybe we can hang out next weekend". Is this me being paranoid, or has she suddenly lost interest in me, like other girls seem to do once they like me.

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Everyone has equal potential, some just chose not to use the resources they have.

Your coming off a little needy here and you're too available. 2 hours on facebook chat! You could have done that one that phone and made a much bigger impression. Then you asking her if she wanted to hang with you the night before your meet up the next day was really needy. So yeah, it sounds like she's probably gonna reschedule. If and when she does, don't be so available.

You did a pretty good job though, you made some mistakes, but don't be so hard on yourself! She seems pretty interested (calling you to tell you what movie she wanted to see is a pretty big IOI).

Keep us posted!!

ok, so thanks for finally responding! You know, if I had had any help at all, I may have done better. That being said though, everything I did was on my own, so I give myself credit. Our second date wend amazing. We went out to eat last night, at a really nice restaurant, but only cuz it was the only place I had a gift card to, and she knew that. We talked about almost everything, and we were both so into it, everytime the waitress came around, we didn't know what to order yet. Even after we were done, it took us forever to notice that the waitress had dropped off the bill. Afterward, we went to my house, and I made some cocoa (I let her know my mom was there, so Im pretty sure she felt coomfortable about it). While it was in, we wnt to my room, so I could show her these rats I have. She actually loved them, and the lucky bitches got to go farther than I did (lol), crawling on her chest. Anyway, after we put them back, we just stood and talked, and finally I said the cocoa is getting cold. Before she started to go downstairs, I gently grabbed her and leaned in for a kiss, this time a real one. I think I did the 90-10 thing, bt even if I didn't, it worked, cuz she kept going with it, and then I pulled out, looked into her eyes, and kissed again, and I could tell she wanted me to. Then I joked around that I had to squeeze it in somewhere (we are both rather sarcastic) and she said she had figured it was coming, again, in a playful way. So when we got odwnstairs, the cocoa was still in the microwave and had gotten quite cold, so I reheated it and we chatted while it cooked, but casually, because my mom and her boyfriend were watching tv. So we continued to talk, and even though she was running 30 minutes late, she didn't say anything, and I later found out her cocoa had been empty for like 10 minutes while we talked. So I did kinda ask if she wanted to go back up and see the rats again (a mistake I know, cuz she must ahave known it was an obvious request to make out again), but she said she had to head out, and I walked her outside, asking if she'd want to do anything either the next day (sunday) or just wait until school. She then said it would be easier if it was at school, but then I think she mentioned next weekend, or I did, I can't remember. But anyways, we got to her car, and I kinda blatantly went in for the kiss, but again, she went with it. I, wondering if I was being too pushy or not, pulled out and madesureshe was comfortable with it, and she said yeah. So we kissed again, and it was kinda funny, because anfter quite along time I joked and said "I should probably let you know, I have a crush on you" and she lauged, and asked since when. I told her since I saw her running. And after kissing for another amount of time, rather than asking "do you like me" I continued with the playfulness, and said "you seem like you like me a little bit" and she said "just a little". So finally, we stoo d there, looking eachother in the eyes, because she had just complained about the wind, and i put myself infront of it,. I then said " I really don't even notice the cold right now" and he agreed, with a smile. But then she said she really had to go, and I promised it would be the last kiss (although this may have been clingy now that I look at it, I was the one to finally pull away). As she got in the car I asked if she'd like to do this again some time, and she said yeah. So anyway, I was on facebook, then she came online, and didnt say anything. Me, with my insane insecuriteies, started to worry, because of course, no matter how good something is, I can never just enjoy myself and let my worries go. anyway, I said hey, and then I didn't see a replky, so I told my friend, and he said don't stress it. She had replied, in the next minute, but I was so stressed, I didnt even notice it. All I typed next was "haha, ddidn't see your reply" anfer like 7 minutes of hrers ( I think she had left before I typed it, cuz it put her in idle mode a few minutes later). so my friend, who's a totally natural alpha told me to just give it space, and call her the next night (tonight) probably at like 8ish, just to say what's up.

Ok, so if anyone, even the dude who replied to me has read all 3 of my posts on this subject...please help me, not just with what to do (right now all I got is a green light to call her in like 2 hours from my friend), but with major inner game shit. I have a feeling if I can just get an excercise from someone here that'll help me relax, and give less of a shit about whether or not she'll reject me, then I'll have less to even be stressed about in the first place. But I am aware of most of my mistakes, so if you're going to say I acted needy, pushy, cheesy, insecure, don't bother, because I know I did. What I want to know at this point is how I can repair the damage I've done, build on the good I've done (obviously she likes me at least somewhat), relax, and make future plans.

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Everyone has equal potential, some just chose not to use the resources they have.

okay, so in the heat of all my confusion afterwards, I called, like I said I would, but there was no answer. So later on, I remembered I had said her smile reminds me of Wallace and Gromit (many of you folks are british, and should probably be familiar with it), but she didn't know who they were. So I sent her a little email with a pic of them and said that's what her smile is like, only it's cuter on her than an old dude living with his dog. She said she liked it (And later told me her mom had seen it and laughed). She also said she didn't get my call cuz she was at a soccer game with a friend (or as you guys call it, football). Today, I acted casual in math class and flirted very subtly, but didn't try to approach her alone. This evening was very damaging on my inner game, because I made a HUUUUUGGGEEE MISTAKE. We were talking on facebook, and she said she noticed how I smiled alot when I was with her, and I said I usually don't smile, unless im with my friends on my team or with her. She liked that, and then I offered to call her. When I called, I began wiith some minor joking, then suddenly let her know I really liked her (before I had offered to phone her she had asked if I really meant the smile thing). She said she didn't know yet, but wanted to keep seeing me and find out. In an effort to save myself, I said how I meant that too. Then she went on to say she didn't really want a relationship, with anybody, not just me, but she wanted to keep hanging out, and she isn't against being friends with benefits. She also said that she kinda didn't want to raw attention to herself, and get people making comments about her, like they haddone when she had given random head to an asshole guy (she reeeaaally feels bad about that). The problem is, she said people had thought she was a slut, and I got kinda pissed, asking if she thought being seen with me would make her a slut (if you've read my other thread, I'm not the most popular guy in school). She scrambled to correct herself, and I kinda let her pull out of it, by saying I didn't want to make my friends talk about us. Then I mentioned an ex I had had. To put it in short, it was half a year ago, and I was desperate, so I met this girl on a facebook thing, and we fucked on the first date. Well word had spread around the school, and she knew about this. I denied the online part, because I had only admitted tht to the guy who spread the rumor, but everything else I agreed to. Later, I emailed her and let her know it was a mistake, just like the thing she had done, and I'm now a different person. She got it, and told me on chat. I asked if she saw me for who I was now, or before, and she said now, definately. So all seemed good, and we laughed a little. Then I made another BIG MISTAKE and suggested more specifically what we should do over the weekend (we had already mentioned doing something). I suggested we watch a movie that we had talked about before ,and she said "we'll see" and that she wanted to see the movie. I tried to fix it by saying it could always be the next weekend if we both feel tired from our meet that we have. She agreed, but said we should wait until then and see how we feel. But did I leave it alone there? no, cuz I'm a fuckin retard who tried to go for the joke thing again by making her laugh, like I'm usually good at. I then proceeded to try very hard, and brought back a funny thing that had happened a couple months ago, and then a story from the team, cuz she said she liked my storiees. She said her hahas and all, but I think I'm fucked. The only question is now, do I drastically make a dramatic move and freeze out for like a week, do I continue the day by day agony with a hop[e it could lead somewhere, or do I end it and save my chips before I lose them all?

GUYS PLEASE HELP ME, I'VE BEEN MOSTLY DOING THIS ALONE. TO JUST READ THIS THREAD AND NOT TYPE ANYTHING IS LETTING ME SINK. I JUST WANT SOME HELP!!!

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Everyone has equal potential, some just chose not to use the resources they have.

Ok first of all: split your text in paragraphes cause it's giving me headache.

Secondly I think you are being to needy and pushy. I suggest you let her come up with the initiatives. Let her decide when she wants to see you again. Let her ask the questions about your interesting life. You have to talk about I'll the cool things you do beside her. If you don't have those things, find them! Go out with friends!

You can't let her think that you're already in love with her. SHE has to give you IOI's and then YOU respond to that not the other way around. The basic mindset is this: "Keep in mind that every moment with her could be the last and don't care about it, just enjoy the moment." (I have this from Tynan/Herbal, if you read The Game)

Hello there friend,

You are probably about the most novice guy I have seen on this forum. Please don't take this as an insult. I understand you are still young and I'd bet my left nut that you have never f-closed a girl. I have read all your posts. You have done so many things wrong on so many levels it is almost inconceivable to me that this girl is still talking to you. Your only saving grace is that she has no other experiences to compare her experience with you to, so that may be the only reason she hasn't shut you down yet. But believe me, friend, you are heading in that direction fast.

I have never offered to do this before for any member here, but I truley want to help you. You need A LOT of work. If you'd be willing, we need to talk on SPAM. If you're really interested in doing this right and improving your game at all hit me up with a message to my inbox and we can take it from there. This is not a trick, money scheme or anything like that; it's just me having compassion for another human being and being able to help a young person like yourself--help I wish I could have had when I was your age.

As I said, please don't take my words as an insult. I don't mean any harm to you that way. Hope I can help. Have a good one.

Ha

You kinda remind me of how I used to be.

The trick is to have more important things going on in your life than the girl you're seeing. Right now you're placing too much importance on just this one girl. Have something else in your life that you take more seriously, such as your schoolwork, distance running, or anything you can consider a "passion."

You see, if the girl thinks you're placing too much importance on her, or thinking too much about her, or whatever, she will say that is "sweet." However, she'll also get very bored with you very quickly. Sometimes the girl will even get creeped out.

The less you actually care, the better it will turn out.

Yeah, I think I've been in that situation before.

I trend that I've had when dating girls is:

1) First date is great! everything is awesome!
2) Arranging second date is easy. It is just as good or even better than first date.
3) The third date doesn't seem to happen... and it's like wtf???

Yeah, I don't have any advice for you, I'm an AFC myself. Well, I'm not that frustrated anymore. Don't depend on girls to create validation for yourself. You should be confident of yourself and you should naturally attract girls. Good luck...