I am writing this field report as it relates to an area which is the subject of intense debate. It is also an area that is very close to my heart. THE DANCEFLOOR.
Now there are those who argue “stay away from the dancefloor, it’s a trap”. Others suggest that it is a good place to pick up if done in the right way. This time last year I had no knowledge of pick up. I had no idea how it worked and had no awareness of what was possible (although I had a very open mind). The club was my thing. I would go there to pick up girls. I had my own way of doing this, it was hard work, but it worked. I was introduced to The Game in March and in August began my journey, learning how to do all of this. For the last few months I have been hitting the street really hard. It’s great cos I think that’s the easiest place to pick up girls and it’s where I see the hottest ones. The ones I see and used to think “shit, I wish I had spoken to her”. I now approach these very girls and pick them up. However, during this period my club game has suffered. It has seemed like so much harder work and for a while I stopped going to the clubs.
But I love dancing, I love music. I would spend time in clubs even if I did not go there to pick up girls. So I recently resolved to come up with a way of picking up girls “properly” in the club. This has been tricky. Unlike bars and the street there is no definitive way to do it. In bars you open the set, neg the target etc. On the street you approach, very direct and maximise the correct use of body language. But in the club what do you do? Who is the guru of dancefloor pick up? To my knowledge there is no one (if I’m wrong please inform me and point me in the right direction). The other night I went out to meet a group of non pick up friends, people I used to work with, on the pretext that we’d be hitting a club. I met them in a pub and we spent the evening sitting round a table. I sat there, trying to persuade them to follow me to a club. But all they were interested in was telling stories about all the stuff they’ve done with girls. I’ve learnt that those who talk about this stuff don’t have game, they have good imaginations, the internet and cable TV to fill their unconscious with memorable experiences (not theirs). I prefer the game of life and to star in my own movie, but that night I was the only one. I travelled home, disappointed… no, furious is a better word. I resolved to come up with a dancefloor plan, get some willing people out and practice until I got good at this new stuff.
Sunday night we hit a bar with a dancefloor near Leicester Square. I had all of these ideas in my head of what to do (open with a neg, ask to see their hand and when they show it pull them onto the dancefloor etc). We get there. As soon as the dancefloor is cleared of tables and chairs I start to dance. Now this is my thing. I dance good. If you take how Neyo dances in “Closer” and Justin Timberlake dances in “My Love” and add some crazy, frantic Prodigy to the mix…. than that’s kind of how I dance. Anyway, we’re in the venue and to cut a long story short, I struggle to get into the zone where I’m gonna start approaching, but than it all comes together, a couple of things I had read, and it all fits. I implement it and it works. I don’t pick up but I leave feeling “yes, I’ve cracked it”. So this is the theory I have now behind clubs:
1: Social proof is very important (AFC Adam – entourage game). You must generate higher value than the other guys in the place and the girls you are trying to pick up. Ideally go with a group of party guys and if you can bring some females. (I know girls who are always bugging me to come out to the club but I always cut them out cos I used to figure they would get in the way. In future I’ll be getting them out
).
2: Generate this by being the party. High five other guys on the dancefloor, talk to the bouncers, dance like you don’t give a shit about anyone else. I personally have the potential to generate very high social proof because of how I dance (yesterday one girl who was with some guy and left the venue early shouted “you’re the best” and winked at me before she left). In the past I have not made the most of this.
3: Approach on the dancefloor, not off it. It’s a nightclub, there’s loud music, you must be non verbal. Every girl in the place has already been clobbered by 10 AFCs who have done it wrong and put them in a bad mood. Talking to them is gonna be tough.
4: Stack up your social proof, ignore the girls, than when the place is warmed up approach smoothly. Do this by sliding up alongside them and copying their dancing whilst making eye contact. If they copy turn to face them, get their hand and lead them (spinning them round is good). Dance for a bit than take them somewhere quieter to talk (you can now do this as you’ve established contact; their friends will see her go off with “the fun guy who loves to dance” so they won’t worry). Build rapport, than get her back on the dancefloor to escalate.
5: Do not talk to them on the dancefloor. Remember, non verbal. You’re high value so you don’t need to talk. You’re the man so you just slide in, nice and smooth.
6: Be prepared to get opened on the dancefloor. In the past this has happened and wrong footed me a bit. Make them qualify by dancing for you. DO NOT DANCE FOR THEM (you’re not their pet or a circus animal there to entertain the civilised people)
7: Take advantage of a girl who opens you by dancing with her for a bit. Even is she is not hot. Maybe skip it if she is completely rancid but dancing with a 6 you have no interest in will increase your chances of getting the 9 or 10 later on.
OK, so with this new theory in mind we set off on episode 2. Club/bar in Leicester Square. I get there with Hugo Drax and PHD (who has an exceptional knowledge of pick up theory. Before I met him I knew little about DHV, neg, social proof, voice tonality and body language).
We quickly head to the dancefloor. The place is just warming up and there are few people on it. I dance when a track I like comes one. Eventually the dancefloor fills up and we head back to the bar where it’s less crowded. There is space so I dance there for a bit, I’m really getting into the zone and PHD keeps pointing out the nearby groups of girls who are firing off IOIs. After a while we head back to the dancefloor. Some Chinese (sorry, could have been Korean or Japanese but I’m gonna assume he was Chinese cos he looked Chinese) dude comes up to shake my hand. I had noticed him busting out some fancy foot work earlier on and gave him propps for it. We’re now in the centre of the dancefloor and when space opens up I dance and a group of people cheer me on. I get dancing with a 6 and show her some moves for five or so minutes before high fiving her and moving on. At this stage I’m getting high fives from a lot of the guys.
I than head over to the corner for a breather. Another guy who is there (French guy) shakes my hand and starts talking about my dancing. The girl he is with (black hair, I’d say 8.5) is also congratulating me. When a decent track comes on the guy starts dancing (again he can move) and I dance a bit too, it’s like a dance battle. His girl and a group of others start cheering and people turn to see what’s going on. At that point another girl (brunette
comes over and says “you should be over there in the middle doing that”. I explain to her than there’s no space. She says she’ll make space, lol! So I follow her into the middle of the dancefloor and I don’t believe what I see. The crazy cow is telling people to step aside so I can dance. I tell her I can’t cos the floor is wet and I’ll slip. She than makes more space for me! At that point “Yeah” by Usher comes on, perfect! So I dance in the space, people are cheering (this is different from dancing for her cos she jumped through my hoops first; she has elevated my status by making room for me on the dancefloor, lol, who the fu** am I? Michael Jackson? Ridiculous! But hey, I’m not complaining
) So I dance a bit than a crap song comes on so I tell the girl she’s a bad influence on me, high five her and return to the corner for a breather (like boxing, lol). I go back and the French guy and girl go a bit crazy and shake my hand. The guy goes off and I start dancing with the girl (this is good, I had opened with the guy to get to the girl). She tells me he is just “a mate” (good, good). So we dance, I spin her around, pull her in close, but always push her away first (push-pull). While we stop between dancing these two other girls try to get me to dance with them but black haired 8.5 pulls me in to her. She’s talking to me and I’m leaning back forcing her to lean in. At one point the interaction goes flat though and when I try to drop in an improvised neg she takes it the wrong way (in hindsight it was more of an insult than a neg) but she continues to lean in as she’s talking to me. Her friend comes back and she says “I’m going for a cigarette but I’ll be right back, OK, don’t go anywhere”. I think to myself “fu** that, I’ll catch up with you later but I’m not waiting here, I’ve gotta try and maximise some of this social proof”. So I do a few rounds but supply of good quality product seems to have dried up and the dancefloor is infested with guys… JUST STANDING THERE!!! I try a few subtle approaches which don’t result in much.
Things than go a bit flat. I’m feeling nackered, the music has gone bad there’s now more guys than girls and I’m moving out of the zone. I spot the brunette 8 who made space for me earlier but she is having a row with her friends. I later try to get eye contact off her but she looks upset. I’m looking for an opportunity to run a number close attempt (I call it blitzkrieg technique – harass them for their number even if you haven’t had much of an interaction and they’re about to disappear) but I can’t find her… shit! I catch up with black haired 8.5 I danced with, tell her I’m leaving and suggest we go for a drink (I specify the day), she agrees and gives me her number. We talk a bit than I say bye. We than head off and the night ends with Hugo Drax pulling some girls hair, looked like she loved it.
OK so on the downside I probably could have made more of the social proof if I had done more approaches when the time was right. I could have been quicker to get back with the girl who had made room for me on the dancefloor. I could have done more to try and move the one I number closed off the dancefloor where I could build rapport than back on the dancefloor to escalate.
But, on the upside, I was able to generate a lot of social proof without having a large group with me and the new theory I have pieced together had a very encouraging first day of testing
I hope some of you find this useful. This works really well for me cos I can dance good. But even if you can’t dance that well this can still be pulled off. If anyone has anything constructive to add than please do.
CHAT