Before putting over my experience here, I would introduce myself. Shy, introvert, tech nerd, and the associated story which everyone has heard. Also, highly sensitive, sensitivity has its own touch`e in my life. This would probably be apparent as I share more details about myself later on.
So, I had two girlfriends in the past, but couldn't become as much intimate as I wanted. Virginity lost at a sufficiently old age to a sort of fuck buddy from an app, frankly too embarrassing to disclose the age here so I'll skip it.
Anyways, until I had sex for the first time, I didn't realize that none of what was happening in my life and related to sex was being controlled by me, and I was being left disappointed over and over by my situations. Also, I was left hopeless till that time. What made me realize all that? - The girl who I had sex with was way below my league, too below that I was kinda embarrassed to have banged her, still, SHE dumped me. And I used to believe if I become good enough, I would have the girl I am good enough for. I was so clueless about "the social fabric", that I became happy when I fell in love(lol) with her personality. She didn't have much of an actual personality, as I look back now, she was just a regular girl who kept herself busy in below exciting tasks, which she probably understood. I didn't and got attracted to this part of her personality, hence you could also consider that I was a total loser.
So, after having sex for the first time, and discovering it was not as exciting as I had made myself expect, I set out to discover the exciting part of sex, and experienced a lot of it with hookers, well as much as I could bear in my student life, and a handful of times after joining my job. There have been a few good experiences in it too, and a rather bad one, which I'll probably share sometime.
After I had sex a couple of times, I finally began looking at it as a social and attraction problem, and discovered the pickup society when I read "The Game". Since I joined my job two months ago, I have been putting myself out there to experience the real game with some new learnings and a lot of internalization. Today was one such day, and I'll try to post my field reports on this blog from now on as I have felt that this makes me think back to the experience and learn from it, and also serves as a journal in case I need to look back to my roots.
For sure, going forward I promise myself and y'all that I'll become the social maestro one day.