I don't know why people don't respond to the field reports very much. They seem to be the thing on here with the most potential to help.
This is me downtown today....

Openers I tried....

Me: Want to hear something interesting to me that is probably boring to you? I just found a mortgage lender who will lend to me with a 20% down payment so my mobile home park will profit $35k/year instead of $21k/year.
Her: Sounds like you have a plan.

... at another place (this one is more important)... to a bartender...

Me: What do you do in your free time?
Her: I spent my time at the hospital.
Me: Are you a nurse?
Her: No, I have "chronic ulceritis" (or something like that)... I just found out I had it 6 months ago.
Me: At least it's curable
Her: No, it's not. It's hereditary. (in other words, I think she told me that she has a terminal condition)

....then I just sat there and thought about what Majikal said about lacking empathy and what ChocolatePUA said about them leading complex lives..... and I felt a lot of empathy.... and I wanted to ask her if she wanted to hang out....

I was going to use a false time constraint and ask for her number, but she walked away to help other customers.... so I was going to wait until she got back but it took like 10 minutes so I just left and said goodbye to her as I walked out the door....

...this got me started on thinking how I could empathize... and I would see girls walking their dogs and think "that poor girl has nothing better than a dog," and wonder how I could cheer her life up (with dick? something else?)...

... I walked into a women's clothing store and asked the clerk if she could suggest good clothing for my upcoming drag show... she did.. and I tried it on and asked what she thought... didn't get her number, though...

...at another place I asked some girls if they were off work today or just unemployed and we talked a little about what they do and I told them what I do..... then to one girl (and her guy), i said:

Me: I just had plastic surgery. Can you tell where it is?
Them: No.
Me: My lips. They used to be super thin. (I got this from Keys to the VIP suggested by ChocolatePUA....)

Also, I noticed that an opener is one thing... but that I have to CONTINUE the conversation after that... and for that.... there must be some substance to my character... and I'm not sure what that is.... and this is probably much more of the issue than trying to think of good openers..... (like Eddie Fews said)....

Saw two girls lying there in the park with hot asses in little shorts. I could have just said "hey, how's it going?"... but I didn't. It happened a couple times with different sets.... I could have just asked them their names... then who knows what would have been said next....

I waited for a yoga instructor to finish their class, then asked her how often the class was and how much it cost. I really wanted to join, but it was too much....

At one point, it occurred to me that my use to these girls is the sexual pleasure I could give them.

I began to see them as individuals. Every girl is different from the last one.

I feel like I'm on the verge of discovering what my value really is. Can someone give me a hint? What is YOUR value? Is it different for everyone? Is there an ideal "man" that I should be trying to live up to? It's not in driving a Lamborghini, although maybe that would help (or not). Should me value be in my ability to protect them? (like it says in the books)... this makes me think of all the pussy little frat boys I knew when I was younger that had hot girls rubbing their shoulders and doing things for them... why? Because they knew their value. And I still don't. Although I feel like I am a lot closer than I was yesterday. Can anyone give me a hint or point me in the right direction?

Here's what I think my value is: I've lived homeless, broke my neck, broke my back, I'm smart (business and money).... is that enough? What should it be?

It also then occurred to me how passive aggressive a lot of this PUA stuff is. I literally have asked two girls to suggest drag clothing for me in the past 3 days.

Why are you worrying about openers? Why are you worrying about your value?

_________________
Game doesn't exist.

Cause that's how it all starts. But more likely... my problem lies in what comes after that....

Personality, character, integrity, empathy, etc.....

And I have not even begun to open that can of worms yet.

Last girl I was talking to called me "bad news" just before she ended it..... I feel I might come across this way.

But I could give them a lot of sex!!!!

That's exactly why girls think you are bad news. They see right through you and pick up on the fact that all you are offering them is sex.

Look at supply and demand homie. Semi-attractive girls can get fucked any day of the week. If they want sex, they can get it on a whim.

Sex is a by-product of seduction.

Seduction is the process in which a girl becomes as invested in you as you are invested in her.

A girl becomes invested in you through attraction.

Attraction is generated through you having status (observable through behavior) and desire.

Women judge behavior (status) by how much authentic confidence you have.

Authentic confidence comes down to being more invested in your own opinion in yourself than other people's opinions of you.

You become more invested in yourself (authentically confident) through vulnerability in emotion and action.

When you approach girls, you should naturally be vulnerable. Vulnerability is a way of life...not a technique. A vulnerable man says what he thinks and is comfortable if some people disagree with him. When he makes a mistake, he shrugs it off and apologizes if necessary. When he isn't good at something, he admits it. He's unafraid to express his emotions even if that means getting "rejected" sometimes. He has no problem moving on to people who don't reject him and like him for who he is.

As far as the question of what girls value, it is irrelevant. Your goal is not to mold yourself into what girls like. It is to find out what you value in life and finding girls that have similar values.

All "game" comes down to is the ability to express your emotions, values, and desires.

Discovering your values and vulnerable self expression of the self is a therapeutic process and what I focus on personally nowadays. Everything else flows from it. Learning "pick up" is unnecessary.

_________________
Game doesn't exist.

I don't feel that sex is all that I am offering them. I am smart. I can hold a conversation, but yes that is the main part of what I think... you are right. Should I change that?

But what if my opinion of myself is based on narcissism or delusion? I can have the most grandiose opinion of myself in the world... and that is called narcissism and it is actually a personality disorder. If you've noticed, I think I have made great strides in getting away from that just in the few days that I've been on this forum.

What is "status?" How does a guy have status? I run a real estate investment firm. Is that good enough?

Okay... vulnerability and emotion... this is the way to get authentically confident as opposed to delusional narcissism. That might be a painful process. I might suck and not even know it.

So what am I supposed to care about or get out of the interaction other than trying to have sex? How do I get her to want to invest in me?

Also, the last girl I talked to said when it ended that I didn't care about her emotions at all, but I know (hope) that I have made changed since then. So I can see where she was coming from.

How do I be vulnerable? Is this something you can learn? Should I just spill my emotions. Okay here they are...

"I'm incredibly lonely. I just want a girl to like me. But on the other hand, I think I deserve a really good one and I don't necessarily think you are worth all the much in the first place. I think I have more to offer than you because I work harder and have more life experience and I think in the grand scheme of things, I am worth more, and even if I'm not.... I should be because I am a man and should be in the leader position, so I need to improve myself to that point anyway. Other than that, I really like blowjobs and I eat pussy just as much. I really want to have one (or a lot) of you girls, but I probably don't deserve it at this point, but I am hoping that I am making progress to improve myself so I can get someone of quality and not just get lucky. But then again, I see a bunch of other guys and I know (think) I'm better than they are. A lot of them just sit there and complain. Am I cool that I am starting a real estate company that will one day own 1000s of hotels? Also, I broke my neck one time, broke my back, lived homeless. I have too much life experience to have it all go to waste or go unnoticed."

Oh, and just because they can get sex doesn't mean they can get sex like I can give them. I eat pussy like a madman and last girl I fucked for an hour and she just told me to stop and I didn't even get off. And I could do that to them every single day or multiple times per day.

Haha. If she told you to get off I'm not sure she was digging the cunnilingus at that point. I applaud your tenacity though.

So all the stuff I just told you is theory that comes from the author Mark Manson in his book Models. I highly suggest you read it. It has formed the core of how I view myself and how I view interacting with women. For now, I'm giving you bite sized pieces of it.

Manson talks about a "pain period". You are right. Being vulnerable IS painful. It is not easy to do. In fact, being vulnerable will cause you to lose some girls. But that is actually what you want. Because the girls that stay will like you despite your weaknesses. The author/psychologist Donald Glover said "People are attracted to your rough edges".

So you went off talking about how you are very lonely and you want female attention, but you are perhaps frustrated because you feel you are worth the attention (I'm paraphrasing...correct me if I'm wrong).

Mark Manson also describes a phenomenon called "emotional vomiting". Which is sort of what you just did. You had a moment of coming clean with yourself and you admitted some painful feelings. This is good. Neediness has to come out somehow. Purge yourself of it.

This, however is not directly how you heal. You simply become aware of your thoughts and feelings because you say them out loud. It's not pretty, and it's not attractive...but it is necessary. By doing this, you are able to identify your feelings, and work them out. Through this process you hold yourself accountable for your thoughts and emotions and come to terms with them.

Emotional expression isn't a technique to get women to like you. It is a life-long investment in yourself.

Once you are able to accept yourself, become satisfied with your lifestyle, ability to communicate, and ability to take action, the female attention will come.

This is essentially western developmental psychology in a nutshell.

The paradox is that this forces you to look for happiness in the future. This makes happiness elusive. Always strive to find happiness in the present moment, and if there are things you would like to improve upon in yourself, don't think of it as becoming a better person so you can finally be happy. Think about it as a process of revealing your true self that has always existed within you.

_________________
Game doesn't exist.

I ate her out. She got off. She gave me head. I didn't get off. I fucked her for an hour. She got off. I didn't. She said she was done.

You paraphrased me right. I said I feel I deserve the attention, but I might have some things to work on. I think I am quite selfish in my interactions with women.

Not being able to cum after an hour could be a sign of sexual dysfunction. I'm not qualified to work you through the process of overcoming sexual dysfunction because it is a complex topic. But I can say that most dudes would've came within that amount of time and it's no fun to not bust during sex.

So you are self aware enough that you may be selfish towards women. This is good. It is a starting point.

This starting point is where you would begin a therapeutic process.

If you wanna work through some shit...PM me. We could try and work on a plan if you want.

_________________
Game doesn't exist.

It's cause I use Viagra and she was riding on top. Lol.

I'll PM you.

Rubbish x 1000!! Women like a man who knows what he wants. If all you want them for is sex then that's fine! The ones you have a good time with will love you for it.

I wish I had sex on my mind more. When I approach a chick I want to be thinking of fucking her, not worrying what she's thinking or any other bullshit.

I agree. Should I be wondering what her favorite cookie recipe is?

I don't get the drag comments to women....

Just an opener. I had to think of something....

I don't really get it, either.

What would you say to a girl in a makeup store?

I've only been here for a few days. I'll think of better stuff.

Let me expand on my point. Is it okay to just want to have sex with a woman? Yes. But the critical factor is WHY you are pursuing sex. If you are trying to fuck out of neediness, it is unattractive. If a woman "blows you out" (a pick up term that I don't endorse due to its inherent connotation) and you feel bad about it, that means you needed something from the interaction. An attractive man WANTS sex from a woman of value, but doesn't need it.

From redstar's posts his neediness is palpable.

Bottom line.

If you go in only wanting sex from a woman, you are going to largely attract woman that only want no strings attached sex. Which is all gravy, if you aren't trying to subconsciously fulfill any fundamental psychological needs (self-esteem, connection, security, autonomy).

_________________
Game doesn't exist.

Well we'll see how it goes tonight.. hopefully I don't just sit there and drink water and don't talk to anyone... and I won't make any other posts until I approach 40 girls...

Well plus I don't really know what I want or need from a woman/girl. I know that I can't have sex by myself. That's about it....