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Last friday I went to a popular club with some of my friends. None of them know I'm studying PUA but I forced myself out that night being a natural introvert.
So I got out and we get into the club. The second I entered I felt like I owned the world. My body language was good, I smiled like Neil Strauss mention in his books. Not a single person looked. The two girls I was with were hot. They've both seen their share of men but I have no intention of sleeping with these girls, as they're good friends. (I read an article by Bill Preston about how he had a attractive girl who was a friend and he never slept with that caused him to get more attention from woman. Not me I got more attention form guy asking if they could dance with them). So the girls get a drink and I'm looking around, being inexperienced with everything PUA I thought about approaching this one girl who was in a group of them.
I approach the group and from afar they look twenty but as I start to talk to them they're much older. (NO THANKS) . So I excused myself and laughed it off in my head. (While complementing myself on not being a wuss).
Later we go dance and I see this girl hanging out with her friend. I think she wont be hard shes about my league so I wont get rudely rejected instantly. (I'll have a chance). So I approach from the front left where she can see me but she turns her back so as i approach I'm suddenly there from behind. ( Great...) I opened her with a opinion but she has none. So she asks her friend but neither have one. So I ask if she'd like to dance but she declines and I excuse myself. Mad because I knew exactly where i screwed up.
Later I go to find the girls dancing. So I stay off to the sidelines thinking how beta I must look. Trying to take up as much space and look as alpha as i could to compensate. BUt i see a girl standing behind me so i turn around pretending I'm looking for my friends when i catch her eye she smiles i smile
she walks away...
After that I start to feel so unconfident i return to my friends waiting for the night to end. This hasn't defeated me as much as it has made me think why are none of the techniques i read about working? Why was everyone there doing better with woman and seeing results just by being built and up in there faces. when im using proven tactics that are failing. Is PUA even real or am I just using it all wrong?
And if I'm using it all wrong can someone teach pass their knowledge onto me?
Hey buddy. Do not fret. This is all normal. Just to clarify a few things, read carefully and follow my advice. You WILL get better. Trust me, just follow this advice:
So you've read the Game and now you're going out trying all the shit you've read in there, and naturally you realize, voila, it ain't workin'. This is absolutely normal. This is purely because the principles in The Game are NOT the principles that work in real life. You read about techniques, about opinion openers, about hooking, etc. About saying this line and that line, and now you expect the magic key to open the lock, the lock being the woman's vagina because for some reason these lines are indeed magic and press a button in the woman's head which makes her go "I don't know why, but I just need to suck your dick and fuck you right now."
Do you see how ridiculous this all sounds? You realize these people are indeed humans, right? Not robots. The girls you approach are just as human as the two girl friends you were with.
So what does work, then? Is this all real, this pickup stuff? Is it a scam? Here's the truth. It works. It really does. The principle of going out night after night after night repeating the process over and over and over works. The magic lines don't. The lines are irrelevant. I know you don't want to hear this and you will continue using them for the wrong reasons. Many people on this site could use the exact same lines you did, and have success. Others will fail miserably. Why? Because the ones that will find success know one thing. It's not about WHAT you say. It's what's underneath. Are you confident in going up to a girl and making your intent clear, not giving a fuck about what her reaction is? If you are, then at one point or another you will sleep with a girl. If not, you won't. Don't worry, you WILL get the confidence. It just takes time.
The same people who could use your lines and find success could also use completely DIFFERENT lines and find success. They could freestyle their lines and find success. What does that teach us? That the words truly do not matter. I mean, they DO to some extent, but not really.
The Real Principles of The Game as follows:
1) Playful - You HAVE to be playful all the fucking time. All the time? YES. All the time. BE FUCKING PLAYFUL. This is a NON-SERIOUS game. This is leisure. This is party. This is all playtime. Everything you say and do should be for one thing and one thing only. To amuse yourself. To have fun. This is such a key concept you don't even know. This doesn't mean you have to go out and laugh your ass off all the time. No. You can have just as much fun being dead serious and messing with these chicks as you could playing a game of fifa or whatever. Enjoyment means that you find pleasure in what you do. So what should you find pleasure in then? What should you learn to love? What should you learn to use for your amusement?
2) The process of the pickup - find amusement in the OUTER PROCESS of the pickup. Not the lines, the OUTER PROCESS. This means Opening, Rambling, Sexually Hooking, Vibing and Closing. This is the OUTER process. There is no more to it. Open, ramble for 0-5 minutes, sexually hook the girl through rambling, vibe, and close the girl, either with a number, a kiss, or a fuck.
3) Repeat the process over and over again - Repeat the above outer process over and over again. This means repeat it for thousands of hours. You will find success along the way here and there. Just fucking repeat it. If you have a bad night where no one fucking likes you, go cry, write about it, and then REPEAT it. Wash rinse repeat. Through simple repetition of the outer process comes EXPERIENCE, through experience comes CONFIDENCE, through confidence comes SELF AMUSEMENT, through self amusement comes NOT GIVING A FUCK, through not giving a fuck comes getting laid. Boom simple. You just have to take action, write about your actions in DETAIL to learn from it subconsciously, and then take action again. Over and over. And over.
4) Educate yourself properly - Fuck The Game by Neil Strauss. Fuck comparing yourself to them. Educate yourself properly. Find articles on THIS SITE, on other sites, follow experienced puas, go on RSDNation if you want to (they know what they're talking about), and just fucking do it over and over and over.
5) Continue to give no matter what - There will be times when you will feel beaten down. No one likes you, no results, nothing. But don't stop continuing to GIVE VALUE. Giving value just means be proactive. Take all the first steps and sooner or later you WILL get laid. Think about it. At some point or another it WILL happen. No matter what dude. No matter what it will happen. You will put your dick in a vagina. It WILL happen. So stop stressing so much. Just learn the process and continue doing it and enjoy the benefits along the way. The benefits include pussy, real increased confidence that lasts, experience crazy stories, fun, friends, etc. Much more.
6) Endure - As above, just endure the process. It takes a painter 10,000 hours to become a master. Same with a martial artist. Why is this any different? It isn't. It's just another skill you learn. And you WILL learn it if you stick with it. So do. You want results? Follow my advice.
7) If you have realizations, write them down, either in a journal or privately. Whatever. Hang that shit up, do whatever you can to ingrain your newly learnt principles and put them to the test over and over and over. You will constanty find new ones. Just CONTINUE to do it.
Fuck man that's about all I can think of right now, but this should really put you on the right path. Learn the process, keep at it. Say whatever you want just make sure you are learning. Good eye contact, good body language and good vocal tonality is all that's needed to be attractive. Make sure you dress alright and don't smell like a complete hobo. Just take good care of yourself, go up to as many chicks as you can, use your momentum, defeat your approach anxiety day by day, approach by approach, close ALL the time no matter what, even if you don't think you will be able to close, just go for it. Who cares if you get the close. Just do it for the PROCESS. The PROCESS is what matters, not the girl. To become a player you have to love the process more than the girls. This will take time, bro. Know that. Some people get good in six months, some take a year, some take two, some take three. Who fucking cares? You've started. Don't stop. Yes it takes THAT LONG. Really. But do you want this or not? If not get the fuck out and go masturbate. If you do, if you want to become a real badass who owns shit (you will really become a badass, the game will make you harder, colder, cooler, funnier, fuck man so much) then stick at this. You will become congruent in talking to people, to girls, you will begin to know your shit and own your shit. Your sense of style will improve, your taste in music will be expanded merely from going out so much, you will become a social pro, you will be on par if not exceed the "naturals", in fact you will be on your way to become a natural yourself. Just do the fucking process for god's sake. It's all in the repetition of the process.
Good luck my man. Good luck.
CHAT