This is something that has been bugging me for quite a while. I'm a normal 21 year old guy that, like most other 21 year old guys, have a hard time getting women attracted to me. However, I know I have it in me to be successful with women, it's just that it happens so rarely. Last time it happened was on christmas day. Before that I hadn't been with a girl for two and a half years! I will not allow myself to have a dry spell this long again and therefor I am turning to you guys for help. This will probably be quite a long post as I will try to be as detailed as I can in order for you guys to help me.

Let me start by telling you about my christmas day. Where I am from it is a day when almost everyone goes out to party. Lots of people come back to their hometown from college and university to celebrate the holidays, so you are certain to meet many old friends and acquaintances. This year was no different.

Me and a few friends had been drinking at my parents house and I was in a great mood. I just knew that whatever happened that night I would have a fucking blast. At around 10:30 we took a taxi to the best club in town, and of course the line to the entrance was ridiculous . It wasn't unexpected so we said we'd wait 30 minutes in order to get in, otherwise we would go somewhere else. Boy am I glad it took longer than that. Our group were divided on what we wanted to do instead, so me and and a friend ended up going to a small bar closeby and the rest went to another bar/club.

At this time I had what I call a "perfekt fylla" (means something like perfectly drunk, translated from swedish). I was very social, happy, funny, met lots of old friends and people just really seemed to enjoy talking to me. I was offered drinks and girls were flirting with me so my confidence there and then skyrocketed.

I think this point is crucial. This is not how I am normally. I don't know why or how it happens, but when it does I just ride the wave. Normally I am a quiet "nice guy" (god I hate those words). I'm not that funny and I mostly hang and talk to people that I have known for a long time. I am not antisocial by any means, I just find it a bit hard to connect with people I barely or not know at all.

Anyways, after a while I decided to go outside for a cigarette and there I saw Sophie. Me and Sophie had been classmates during highschool and we hadn't seen each other since graduation three years ago. She was one of the hottest girls from our school and she had also been together with one of my best friends during highschool. We made eye contact so I went over to her, gave her a hug and started talking to her. God knows what I said, I just remember feeling like The Man and everything coming out of my mouth were fucking gold. She was there with another guy who I assumed was a friend. After a while we decided we wanted to go somewhere else so I suggested the bar/club I knew my other friends were at. We started walking and I just kept my flow going, being funny and flirty. After a while I noticed that guy she was with started walking behind us. I guess he felt that he had no shot with her now that me and Sophie we're flirting like crazy and when we arrived he was gone.

I guess you could say the rest history. We had a really good time and when the bar closed she suggested we should go to her place. Needless to say I have been thinking and analyzing that night a lot. How in hell did I end up sleeping with one of the hottest girl from my highschool?

I have come up with a few things I did right so I'm just gonna type those down.

* Not being too drunk. I do have a tendency to drink a bit too much making it hard to talk to girls, and from what I understand most girls dont appreciate a guy that's have had a few drinks too much trying to hit on them.

* Being confident. Thank you alcohol. This of course almost never happens when I drink, but sometimes it does. I'm normally quite nervous and shy whenever I talk to a girl I don't know, but I guess that's just something I have to work on. Any specific tips on what I can do to get rid of my nervousness that doesn't involve drinking?

* Using kino (I think that's the PUA-term for it). When I was with Sophie before we went to her place, I was touching her, holding her hands, touching her hair etc. In other words, what all other normal people do when flirting. This is something I am not confident doing, but this night I just did it without thinking and apparently it works! This is also something I need to practice I suppose. I think my problem is that when I think about doing it it just messes things up. I need to be and feel natural doing it! How do I get there?

I'm gonna finish this up saying a few things more about myself so you get a better picture of me. How about my appearance first? This is something I've always had a little complex about. I'm a former athlete so I have a good physique. I'm 185 cm tall and weigh 80kg. I believe I have a "normal face" (whatever that means), brown eyes and short cut brown hair. I do have complex about my nose. I've been told I look a bit like Zlatan Ibrahimovic (the football player in PSG). My nose is definitely a minus, but I think I will get a nosejob whenever I can afford it. All of my life I've considered myself ugly but I think I might be a bit too harsh on myself, as both guys and girls have told me I am not. Most likely a self-esteem thing.

With bad self-esteem comes nervousness and other boring shit which I feel contributes to my inability to attract women. So this is also something I need to improve! How in hell does one get better self-esteem? It's not like walk around feeling like shit all the time though, and it has improved over the years. I just need it to improve even more.

I am not looking to become a Pickup-Artist. I have read a few books from successful PUA's but I think most of it is shit to be honest. I like to be polite to people and I respect everyone until they've proven they don't deserve to be respected. There are a few things though that I suppose is good but I find many of it hard to implement in the field, so to speak. Atleast for me. That's just not who I am. I want to improve my ability to be social/funny/flirty when I want to, and not just wait for those days when I am actually being those things. I realize it probably wont be easy, but I am all ears for whatever help you can offer me.

Well that's it, I'm done Sorry for the long post. Have a good night!

Why do you think most people have this problem? Because they aren't practiced. You sound like you're not practiced.
You said you don't want to be a PUA, but remember, the goal is whatever you want it to be. For me it's to feel natural and comfortable around women. And now I am, and of course still am improving. If you want to get really good at something what do you do? Practice. If you want to solve this problem, it requires that you practice it. You don't have to label yourself a PUA. Learning how to interact with women is a great skill to have, just like Mystery said, not just for the girls.

Looks don't matter all that much. Your nose, that's mostly inhibiting you in your mind. Girls don't operate on visuals as much as men do. They look for things like emotion and similar connection. I recently had a girl that told me she was attracted to me, but said she felt a lack of connection. I have a big nose too...and had the same thoughts about getting surgery. As you get older, you will realize you can - with practice - find girls that like you. It won't matter what the shape of your nose is. Look for girls that lock eyes with you. It is seldom but when that happens, your + response will multiply exponentially.

I can tell you what happened with Sophie. You guys knew each other for a long time and therefore she had on some level a connection with you. That is number 1. She knew who you were, where you came from, knows your background and has previous exp with you. You are not some random. She has a much stronger connection with you over that other guy she was with and that was obvious. You did your part as you noticed, letting her know you were sexually interested by touching her in places a friend doesn't touch.

All the girls that have liked me the most, all had a random common connection to me through something, school, friend, work, etc.