9:55 AM 11/12/2014
THIS WAS WRITTEN YESTERDAY AND INCLUDES AN INFIELD VIDEO OF MY FIRST EVER DIRECT APPROACH. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lycEZVC8jqc
Ok so I just pulled off my first direct approach that I've done in a really, really long time. My assumption is that I haven't done direct approaches in like over 3 months. But now I just did my first direct approach in like forever. I am still shaking from nervousness even though, she is long gone and I am typing this right now. My arms are shaking. And I still feel like "I can't believe I just did that. Wow. That was so embarassing."
What's more is that I did it right infront of her mom. What surprised me more than anything else was their immediate positive reaction and laughter. Apparently a few simlpe words "I thought you were cute" was enough to make her feel really good for the next moment. Who knew that a few chosen words could make an impact. I used to believe that words don't matter. The only thing that matters is body-language but what you say doesn't matter. This belief is clearly wrong because my body-language was awful but yet those few words made a massive impact. I still cannot believe what I've just been through.
Until this moment, starting from september, I've already done over 200 approaches but all of them indirect. What I've found was that I'm x1000 more relaxed and composed during my approaches because I've done so many of them. But yet in this single direct approach. I've lost all composure, was SUPER nervous, and shaking. My voice was so high-pitched it sounded like tea on a kettle. My brain went out the window and I just froze. I didn't know what to say for a few split seconds: it was like someone put a pause button on my life.
What's hardest for me to believe more than anything else is how well they responded. I have a low self-esteem, I tend to think that people don't regard me as being valuable: but yet for that moment when I approach I FELT IMPORTANT. I FELT I WAS SOMEBODY. I made their day. I made them feel good,
Here are some technical details about what happened: before, during and after the approach. I am sitting in the library as I am typing this right now, taking a break from the 6 approaches that I've done so far. I am now reflecting on them, hoping to gather whatever lessons I can for my game.
I switched venues (from cuny to mec) because I needed a change of pace and also because I wanted to go direct. I can't go direct in college and those who have any level of game would understand why: gossip. However, in a library, it's okay to go direct because even if I get warnings from the staff: (1) you always get a warning before you get banned: so I'll stop as soon as I get warned and (2) even if I get banned, I'll just go to a different library. Furthermore, I'm willing to bet that I could do 100-150 approaches in the library before I get banned.
I was in the subway and it was horrificly difficult to approach. I had many opportunities but yet I couldn't bring myself to do it. I confess I am terrified, horrified and absolutley petrified of approaching girls in the subway. I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO DO IT. SOMETHING GOES OVER ME AND I KEPT TELLING MYSELF "I CAN'T DO THIS." I don't know why, but for some strange reason approaching girls in that venue is the hardest of all: so hard I can't bring myself to do it.
I was feeling bad that I couldn't muster up the courage to approach in the subway so I quickly warmed up by approaching a man with the opener "What book are you reading?" A very simple rapport-seeking question based on the situation but yet it worked wonders because we launched into a full fledged conversation. I noticed that at first his arms were crossed but later as we kept talking, he unfolded his arms.
I could go on and on and on... writing about what happened today but the last thing I want to do is to spend my precious approach time doing mental masturbation. It would be much more helpful to contemplate the lessons that I've learned so far (while I regather my strength, focus and recharge the battery on my camera glasses).
LESSONS LEARNED
1. Warming up is really important because it massively boosts your social skills and gets you into a talkative outgoing friendly state which is very ideal for gaming. You can warm up with anyone: it doesn't matter who you talk to. It only matters that you actually talk. Once you spend only a few minutes talking, you'll quickly launch into a social state.
2. Try to avoid approaching infront of staff of the library. They would be displeased if you are approaching everyone.
3. When going direct, you only get one approach per area of the library. Because if you are going direct on every girl, then they are going to know that you are a player pickup artist. Which I AM. But it's better to not reveal that identity because of the negative stigma attached to it.
4. Have your textbook open as if you were studying. You want to look like you're in the middle of doing something. Not that you came here to the hunt and approach every pretty girl within sight (which is the ideal plan but you shouldn't look like it). You need to look like you're in the middle of doing important work but then you couldn't help but notice her and you JUST HAD to come over and say "hi".
5. It's of crucial importance to take a seat right away because until you do that: you are losing value by the moment. Even if you keep plowing, you can't win.
6. Spot targets to apporach with your prephiral vision. Don't look head on or turn your head to face them. That demonstrates too much interest.
7. Until the hookpoint, you need to keep plowing or the interaction will end. It's upto you to keep it going. Talk 80% of the time.
8. The more you keep thinking, the less likely you are to approach. What you have to do is, DON'T THINK. DON'T THINK ABOUT IT while you are approaching. When you are approaching the only thing you have to think about is "Approach. Fun. Fun. APproach. Fun. Appraoch. Fun." Don't think about anything else, or you'll break out of that zone.
9. A very simple way to go from indirect to direct is to drop in a compliment "You're pretty..." It can be totally random but it's important because it will destroy any creepiness since she knows your intention.
10. When approaching a 2 set, ensure that you don't get excluded out of the group in the conversation. If you are excluded out of the conversation then you lose value by the moment because you are (1) being ignored and (2) you are staying in the group even though you are not being entertained.
11. Be doing something else both before you approach her and while you are in the midst of approaching her. This allows you to demonstrate less interest in her and shows that you have a life. For example: (1) be eating while you are talking to her, (2) be looking over some notes while you are talking to her and (3) be texting.
12. Another way to create urgency is to say that you have to go somewhere in a few minutes and be glancing at your watch, multiple times.
13. Powerful body-language shouldn't be micromanaged but rather it should come from within. You have to feel POWERFUL and ALPHA. And then you will display powerful body-language.
14. Don't ever say "sorry for interrupting" in your opener. That only increases the chances of her saying "i'm busy." Instead act like it's entirely normal for you to approach and talk them. Only if they are very receptive later on can you say, "sorry for interrupting" ONLY (as on over-statement) in order to get them to say, "No, it's totally fine." But once again, never use that as part of your opener.
15. If you are going to be fishing (which means sitting and waiting) for a good target to passby then you are better off sitting in a place that gives you a good view of everyone who is coming out and in.
16. You have to consistently apply a ton of pressure CONSTANTLY in order for them to keep talking to you (until the hookpoint) because if you don't they will leave. You need to keep plowing until you get to the hookpoint. Because if you stop at any moment or leave any kind of silence then she'll take off and leave. But after the hookpoint, you can be more relaxed and look around and that's OKAY! because she isn't going anywhere. (Sometimes if you open well or if you've flashed enough value beforehand, you'll hook instantly).
17. If the girl you approach is super relaxed, calm and unreactive then you should know that you are dealing with someone who (1) doesn't percieve you to have any value (because if they liked you back then they would be nervous or emotionaly reactive a bit) and (2) is probably a very outgoing/social person who is used to meeting strangers (because otherwise they would have at least flinched in their body-language). The solution to someone like this is to neg and tease hard. It's the only way to get them to change.
18. Do not neg someone who already likes you for the following reasons: (1) you don't want to punish good behavior. That's contradictory. (2) Since they like you then they percieve you to have a lot of value (in other words, you are important to them in their life). Therefore, your words have a much greater impact. A neg to a girl that likes you will hit a lot harder than a neg to a girl that doesn't give a shit about you or what you have to say. And if you over-neg then the girl can shut down or not want to talk to you anymore.
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Inner Dialogue: Talking to my Inner Child (Self-Therapy)
Teacher: "Ok what are we doing now?"
Child: "I don't know. I am afraid. I am scared. I want to just call it a day."
Teacher: "We haven't reached our approach quota. You still have 7 more to go. Just do it and get it over with."
Child: "If I approach, I will get rejected. I just know it. And not only that, people are going to start talking behind my back saying 'who is that weird kid who is going up to everyone."
Teacher: "Rejection doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that you try, if you try then you win: rejection or no rejection - doesn't matter."
Child: "I don't want ot be seen negatively by those around me, if it doesn't go well."
Teacher: "First of all, you need to not care about what others think of you or you will never become a pickup artist. 2nd of all, we just do two more approaches and then we get out of here.
We paid an extra $2.50 to go to the library so we can approach girls in the library and attempt to have sex with them. This is what I paid for. This is why I am here. So go out there and do this thing. It doesn't matter if you win, and it doesn't matter if you lose. The only thing that matters is that you try. This is what we came here to do. Now go out there and approach girls, right now. Do what you came here to do. Don't think about it. JUST DO IT."
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1:06 PM 11/12/2014
I was worried that I wouldn't get any approaches done or that I wouldn't reach my approach quoata today but I've reached my full quota in only 10 minutes: simply by joining a school club. Apparently everyone in the social club was really, really, really social, outgoing and friendly. I did not have any negative responses at all. I don't know why this is but I assume that it's because they really, really, really want members in their clubs. They WANT new members. And that's who I was: a new member. So they wanted to encourage me to come again so that why they were so nice to me. It was their way of saying "Come again!"
If I recall correctly, I appraoched every single person in the room. This makes me really, really happy: because I've reached my quoata. But I'm terrified that the footage was not recorded. That would be horrible. Because I bet that was at least 6 approaches. If that shit wasn't recorded than i'll be hit with a wave of depression. I WORKED SO HARD FOR THAT FOOTAGE SO IT BETTERR DAMN BE RECORDED OR I WILL BE PISSED, SAD AND UPSET AT THE SAME TIME.
The biggest problem with the camera glasses that I'm using is (1) limited battery power, (2) having to maintain long hair to cover the buttons and (3) having to cover the blinking light. These are all annoying issues: so that's why I'll be investing in a button camera. The button camera solves all these issues: (1) potentially 4 to 7 hour battery life,(potentially unlimited battery power if I'm able to attach a portable charger to it) (2) no need to maintain long hair and (3) no need to cover up the blinking light. PLUS: you can instantly record as soon as you want to. There's no need to put on any glasses. You're ready for instant recording. PLUS: it's very easy to see if it's recording while you're infield - you just take out the DVR while in the midst of recording. The only drawback for the button camera is that I don't have any button shirts. Furthermore, I won't be able to record unless I am directly facing her. (This doesn't enable me to give dismissive body language: like I would be able to do had I had the glasses). HOWEVER, despite the drawbacks are outweighted by the positives.
Something sad has happened recently. I have decided to not try so hard in my fist psychology class. This is due for a few reasons but it's mostly due to the fact that it requires too much time. I simply do not have the time to get an A in that class unless I dump my PUA goals. I have decided that I'll settle for a B or C grade. But for my other classes: I'll get As. So you might be thinking "Why?!? WHY?! You're already in college, then do well. Why sacrifice you future for PUA?" And the answer is not. I believe that I have around a 75% of making a living out of an online business. I told myself a few times "I know I'll make it." I'm gonna make it!! So if going to make it then there's no need to get the college degree. The only reason I'm getting the As is as a backup plan just incase I am not successful in my online business, I'll be able to go back to college. But since I believe that chances are ill make it, i'm willing to sacrifice the good grades of one class particullary because (A) that particular class requires an extreme amount of time investment in order to do well (reading over 300 pages, writing well researched papers with multiple sources). Getting a heavy loss: no doubt, to get a B. But it's a necessary price to pay in order to have more time to be successful in PUA. Bottom line: I'm settling for a B or C in the class because it's vrey demanding and I need that time for PUA.
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One of the issues that I need to deal with is being tired and exhausted. It's hard for me to keep going sometimes. This is an important issue that I need to resolve but I don't know how to resolve this. So exhausted. So tired. Constantly feeling like I need to put my head down and relax. What is causing me to feel such a lack of energy? I have a few guesses but I would need to uncover the primarily things is sucking my energy away.
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CHAT
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