So I've been reading PUA lit voraciously since about 2 months ago when I stumbled upon The Game, and I've finally decided to man up and start being a part of the community and also going out and getting laid. (So far I've read The Game, MM, watched TPA Season 1 and 2, and am currently reading the Layguide). So this field report will cover my first 2 times I went out specifically for the purpose of gaming, and one encounter than I stumbled upon, with a few of the uniques I tried, still being my newbie self.

My situation is kind of unique, so let me just briefly describe where I'm coming from. I've actually had phenomenal success in having sex with beautiful women on my own, before ever hearing about the community........precisely..............TWICE. Having extremely hot sex exactly 2 times in my entire life (I'm 36) is not enough—it should be happening several times a week. Which is why I am here.

In elementary school the school psychologist diagnosed me as being "a perfectionist with low self esteem." I also grew up without my father being around, and I think that makes a big difference in one's life. Which is why I'm dedicated to turning that around with my 5 year old son, and not only being there for him, but learning to become a social expert so that I can then pass on that knowledge to him. Yes, I want to become a master Venusian Artist, and pass that knowledge on to my son, like my father should have done for me, instead of just being a drunk jackass who I saw once a year. For me, studying about Venusian Arts is about 1. getting laid (of course) and 2. becoming a properly socialized human being and being able to interact with other people and get what you want out of life. Like Mystery said in The Pickup Artist, it's about building a life.

I grew up sort of a nerd, more into studying and doing my hobbies (skating, role-playing games, martial arts) than spending a ton of time socializing or with girls. On top of that, I'm a perfectionist, so if the girl is not literally the girl of my dreams, I usually rationalize that it's not worth wasting my time. Both of the hot babes I laid in my lifetime were also my one-itis at the time. The first one I was actually really smooth up until having sex with her. But then after I had sex with her, it was so amazing, that I smothered her and was really needy, calling her all the time and even doing a chump thing like buying her flowers, etc. So I went from being super smooth, to supplicating. And obviously that turned her off. So she ran. The second one was in Brazil, and she actually wants to marry me. I was also married for six years, but that doesn't count...my wife was good-looking when I married her, but as soon as we got married, she gave up on herself and got out of shape, which really sucked. I think that describes about half of all marriages in America, btw.

I turned to the PUA a couple months ago after a girl at work who is actually very attractive, showed signs of interest in me, so I asked her out. But then when she cancelled on me at the last minute, I got pissed and have ignored her ever since. But that experience made me realize that it's time to change my life. It's time to actually learn to understand women. It's time to go from having amazingly hot sex once in a blue moon to 3 or 4 times a week. I know I'm totally capable of it, I just need to learn the skills. Everything else I've put my mind to in life, I've succeeded at, so now it's time to finally succeed with women.

So the first time I actually went out to "sarge," I went to a college Halloween dance the other week. Turned out to not be the greatest choice for my first "in-field" experience. First of all, I didn't have a really solid game-plan, I just read a few openers before I went, and had a vague idea of using them on some girls. But, it was so dark and so loud, that I eventually said screw it and left, deciding to pick a better venue for my first sarging experience. However, I did learn one valuable lesson from it. I come from a martial arts background, and I love how Venusian arts is so relatable to the martial arts. One of my senseis trained in Ninjutsu in California, and he shared with me the story of one of the training games they did. They went into a forest, split up, and then with full gear and armed with real swords, they'd have war games. When they approached each other, they'd pull out their swords (which were razor sharp), and get into their fighting positions. They wouldn't actually strike at the other person, but he said it taught them to "respect the blade." I feel like I had a similar experience at the Halloween dance. I was by myself, I had no clue what I was doing, and I chickened out of talking to even one girl. But, it taught me to respect my enemy, Approach Anxiety. And it taught me how important social dynamics are, and how important it is to be prepared, and to have a good wing.

For my second attempt, I decided to do something a little easier, in a less intimidating venue. So I opted for doing the "Newbie Mission" in a mall. At first I thought doing a Newbie Mission would be pretty pointless, but I actually learned a lot. Firstly, I'm sort of the brooding type, not a social butterfly. I usually don't smile when I enter the room, that sort of thing. I don't go out of my way to meet new people. But as I did the Newbie Mission, and made it a point to smile and say "Hi" to every female I passed, something strange happened. I found myself get into the talkative state which Mystery talks about in The Mystery Method (book.) In fact, when I was growing up, I'd often get into this state in school or social gatherings, but I was more like the class clown than the smooth guy that is surrounded by ladies. For some reason, I always thought girls like the "strong silent type." So as I grew older and more interested in girls, I started acting tougher and talking less. (Mystery talks about this mistake in MM; don't go into a club and try to act tough and stand there not talking to anyone.) So what I learned is that I can be myself and be naturally talkative, but I can use that not just to make a class of schoolmates laugh, but to get into women's pants.

So I got into a talkative state, and actually started up a conversation with a dude and a chick from Israeli. Well, to be honest, they were working in a kiosk and the guy approached me because he was trying to sell me something, but then I started talking to him about Israel, and some friends of mine that are from there. And as I was talking to the dude, of course—group theory—the girl (she was cute, like a 7.5) came over and tried to cut into the conversation and get my attention. The mistake I made was not ignoring her long enough or negging her, because as soon as I started talking to her, the dude (who I think was also her boss) CB'ed me and switched the conversation back from talking about Israel to pure business and trying to sell me on the product, and gave her a vibe like "get lost" and so she wandered away. But later, when I was leaving the mall, she actually walked up next to me, like she was going the same way, so I started talking to her again. She said she'd only been in the U.S. for a week. I told her I was amazed at how good her English was. But after a little bit of small talk, since she was walking faster than me, it started to look like I was chasing her (she was basically doing MM on me...she walked up from behind, but then she kept walking and turned her head to talk to me, and made it look like I was chasing her) So I was like screw this, I'm not going to chase this chick down.

The other thing I learned came because I actually missed out on a big opportunity. Even though I was smiling and saying hi to every female (which most of them were war-pigs), at one point I looked down to read a text message. I was intent on it for a few moments. When I finally looked up, I noticed there was an HB who was checking me out and acting like she was waiting for me to say something. But I was so intent on my text, when I finally did notice her, she veered off in another direction before I could say anything or smile. That's when I noticed she had a perfect 10 ass, and was wearing those sort of skin-tight super thin sweat pants girls wear. So there I was starting at her ass as she walked away, wishing I had been focused on my Newbie Mission instead of looking at my phone. And then we almost crossed paths again later (it happened a few times) but I psyched myself out, because she didn't walk right past me again, so I found myself waiting for that "perfect opportunity." Classic AFC-style transgression of the 3-second rule. And I felt so stupid, because she was the hottest girl I saw the whole night, and she PAIMAIed me a few times, and I wussed out. (Is that the right usage of the the word PAIMAI? She sort of hovered around a few times looking at me like she wanted me to approach her.)

Okay, last but not least...I am currently out shopping for a new apartment, and I called a girl up who had an ad online who is selling her apartment contract. I was all business, but even when I talked to her on the phone before we met, she gave me this sexual vibe and got sort of flustered. I asked if I could come see the place. She explained to me that she lives with another girl, but the roommate is gone, and she's all alone. And then she was like sure, come over. (Anyone ever seen Last Tango in Paris? I should have pulled a Marlon Brando on her.)

So I go over to see the apartment, literally just there because I need a new apartment. I was expecting her to be not that good-looking because just the thought of a strange man who she has never seen or met coming over to see her place got her flustered. Then she opens the door, and I'm like OMG. She's a college girl, with blonde hair and big blue eyes, and luscious lips. And being the perfectionist that I am, I'm thinking to myself "OMG, she's actually a hot babe...what are the odds? I need to go out apartment shopping even when I don't need to move, simply as a way to meet chicks and be alone with them in their apartment." (If I test out that idea later and it works, I'll let you know.)

So anyways, here I am thinking this chick is hot I should totally try to run game on her. But I'm still a Newbie. But I actually threw in a few negs and got some IOI's. While she was talking, I reached out, with the plan in my head to pretend to remove some lint or something from her blouse. When my hand reached her blouse, as luck would have it, there was actually a hair sitting there on her blouse, so I removed it. Then she immediately started qualifying herself to me "Oh, I'm sorry, I just got back from work and I probably look like a mess." She told me she works at Victoria Secrets in the mall. I used a false time constraint. I told her I had an appointment in 15 minutes to look at another apartment. (Let's keep in mind, she is trying to get me to buy her contract, so realistically any IOIs could simply be since she wants to get me to do that. But she did sound flustered on the phone and acted flustered in real life, so I think there was a little of both.) After I threw out the FTR, she insisted I walk with her across the property to see if the manager was there to sign the lease. (BTW, MM works both in business and in love. I have a sales job and I've been using MM for the last month and successfully making more money than the rest of my sales team.)

As we walked across the property, I threw out another neg. "Those are nice eyelashes. Are they real?" She answered "Thanks, yes they are real." Doh! I was hoping she'd say they were fake, so I could make her insecure, but the next thing she said showed that the neg worked, because I got a compliment out of her. She told me that she really likes my eyes, that they are really vibrant. Again, if it wasn't for her body language and acting flustered, I would have assumed she just was trying to win me over so I'd buy her contract. But she was giving me the vibe.

So I played it cool and bounced to my next appointment. What would you guys have done in that situation? Here we were, alone in her apartment. Should I have tried to seduce her?

Before I left, she told me to please call her either way and let her know what I decide (I told her I was looking at a few different places). So a few hours later, here's what I did. I called her and said that I'm strongly considering moving in, but that I have a few more questions. So I asked her some mundane questions about the utilities etc, then I said "My girlfriend's father is giving me his old projector because he's buying a new one. Is it cool if I come buy real quick, it won't take longer than 5 minutes, so I can take some measurements and see if the dimensions of the living room are right for setting up this projector?" I don't currently have a girlfriend, but I threw this in for preselection and to make her chase. Mystery talks about mentioning your girlfriend in MM, so I thought I'd try it out. I made up this bullshit story about the projector to let her know 1. I have a girlfriend so I'm not desperate and other women want me, and 2. People like me because apparently this fictional gf's father likes me so much he's giving me a projector, and he also must be a generous guy who's not hurting for money, because he's giving me a projector as a gift. I just thought of this silly story on the spot before I called her so I could engineer a way to go back there. So she told me, yes, come over, but she had a date in 5 minutes, so we set it up for tomorrow (this all happened today). So I have an appointment to go back tomorrow and "measure" her living room. Here's my plan: I'll bring a tape measure and do some measurements. Then I'll sit down on her couch as if visualizing what it would be like to watch a flick on the projector. Then I'll jokingly say "Here, you can sit next to me and pretend we're on a date watching a movie. But don't think I'm going to kiss you; I'm not that easy." Then I plan on doing a simple palm read, so I can do a little kino and go from there. Maybe I'll even try Mystery's kiss-close. Of course, I'll start with an FTR when I get there, etc. Again, other than reading The Game, MM, and the Layguide, I'm a complete Newbie at PU, and I've never tried any of this stuff in real life. So I'm excited to see if I can pull it off.

And even more important than being excited about running game on one girl, I'm happy because I'm not overly stressed about whether or not it works on this one girl. Because now I know that I'm going to be running game on a regular basis, on a ton of girls, so running game on her is no big deal. It's just practice.

And if I can test the apartment-search sarge theory out a bit, I might be able to present a new strategy for laying chicks to the community. (Has anyone ever tried that before as a way to have sex with girls? Pretend to apartment-hunt?)

Okay so here's a follow-up report on what happened with the girl who showed me the apartment. Not sure whether anyone is reading these or not, but it doesn't matter, because I'm doing this more for myself and to reinforce what I'm learning than anything else.

So as I mentioned last time, I called her last night and set up an appointment to come take measurements of the place with the bullshit story that my gf's father was giving me a projector. So here's what happened with that follow up appointment.

I showed up and immediately told her I was really tired, since I'd been to a party really late last night. I meant it as sort of a false disqualifier to say "don't expect to get any action from me." But it's possible she may have thought I was doing a lame AFC routine and was going to ask if I could take a nap or something. (Which by the way, I've had girls do to me.) Either way, from the get go, she was the opposite from how she was last time. Last time she was all IOI's, this time she was all IOD's. It was nothing overtly rude or anything. It's just that the first time she kept asking me things about myself and trying to keep the conversation going, and this time she was all business and didn't make any effort to keep the conversation going longer than it needed to. (Obviously an IOD).

It's possible that when I told her I had a girlfriend that put her on the defensive or hurt her feelings or something. (Mystery warns about this in MM). Because here she was hitting on me yesterday and I shot her down, telling her I had a girlfriend. So that's a little bit of a blow to the ego. It's usually good, because they can get jealous and want you more, however, it may also cause them to go into defensive mode from looking like they are too interested in you.

The importance of Congruence

Soon after I showed up, I attempted a sniper neg. I told her she had crusties in her eyes, but "Don't worry," I said "I like crusties." However, I realize now I had a sheepish grin on my face when I said it, and I didn't deliver it in a congruent way at all. I was reciting a memorized line to show non-neediness, but with my tone of voice and body language, I was conveying neediness. Some people may argue that's why you shouldn't use canned material, but I would disagree. Yesterday, when I took the hair off her blouse, it worked like a charm, because I was being congruent. (And it probably helped that there was an actual hair on her blouse, even though I didn't know that until I actually was already reaching out towards her blouse.)

So the second time I saw her probably took no more than 5-10 minutes. I wasn't getting any IOI's from her, so I basically just took the measurements, talked a little business, and left. I couldn't get myself to do any of the routines I had planned on doing and rehearsed. (Palm read, Spell of Attraction, Beauty Qualifier Bait, etc.)

I attribute my failure on this second visit to 2 definite reasons and 1 possible reason.

1. I really was tired. In fact, I went to bed late, got up late, and then didn't have time to eat anything before I went to see her. So physically and mentally, I was definitely not "in the zone." That just goes to show how it's important that Venusian Artists, like martial artists, get adequate rest, eat healthy, and be physically and mentally prepared when you go out and run game.

2. The first time I went there, I really wasn't trying to get anything from her. So I conveyed non-neediness. I had never met her, and wasn't expecting her to be an HB, and was all business. This vacuum of non-neediness sucked her in. The second time, I had time to realize, this girl is hot, I wouldn't mind hooking up with her. And I thing I subcommunicated that to her, in a needy way. The first time, it seemed like she was trying to find excuses to make the interaction last longer, to delve into a more personal conversation, etc. This time it was the reverse. It seemed like even though I was just taking measurements, I was trying to somehow make the visit last longer and "get somewhere" with her.

3. Perhaps my use of talking about my girlfriend wasn't skilled enough or I didn't know how to get her to open up after that. It seems like lying that you have a girlfriend is a two-edged sword, and like any dangerous weapon, needs to be used with skill if used at all. I probably did make her jealous, but then I put her on her defensive and made her cold, without knowing how to warm her up again. On the other hand, even though I was very congruent when I told her I had a girlfriend over the phone, when I showed up, I was totally non-congruent, sheepish, and needy. So she might have seen through the girlfriend act, because here I was, acting like I wanted her. So she might have then come to the conclusion that I was lying or trying to manipulate her. (Which in fact I was). For obvious reason, you never want a girl to think you are a manipulative and lying person.

Crash and Burns are good

So what's the coolest part of all this? I crashed and burned. Big time. But thanks to Mystery, I think of this all like a video game now. A few weeks ago I downloaded SPAM: Arkham Origins on my iPad. At first, I lost a bunch of times on levels, and got pissed and thought "This game is way to hard!" But then, I kept playing it, and little by little, I started winning more times than I lost. I kept getting a little better each time, and now I'm swiping and tapping on my iPad like a pro, overcoming really difficult levels seemingly with ease.

Gaming women is no different. Regardless of if I would have won her over or not with my old AFC routines, I'm playing a new video game. And like Arkham Origins, it's a challenging one. (Actually much more challenging and fun than any video game.) So it's totally to be expected that I'll crash and burn more times than not when I'm starting out. But now that I'm aware of the game, I'm able to go through and analyze and learn what I did wrong each time and not do those things the next time. And all that time I spent preparing routines, that I didn't end up doing, will help me the next time when I do pull them off.

Just wanted to say hello and that I enjoyed your post. I felt the need to reply because I think we have some things in common with one another. Im 32 and recently divorced. I have two daughters and like you I stumbled on The Game by Neil Strauss. To be honest his book snapped me out of a major depression. I initiated my divorce and never anticipated how lonely I would feel. Anyway, Im currently reading The Manual what women want and how to give it them by W. Anton. Im digging the whole thing and you can find it for free in pdf form but not important. I like where your mentality is and where it seems to be going and I wish you luck in your sarges. Im going on a trip this coming weekend to California and will be encountering an old one-itis that Ive had off and on for TEN YEARS! My mentality is completely different now and Im just curious to see what will happen when we hang out together. Im going to to go direct with her and be super flirty and tell her straight up that I want to sleep with her. Ill post a field report of my own next Monday or Tuesday. Good luck to you once again.