My game is a bit lopsided. I can basically get as many day 2s as I like with 8s, 9s and 10s (through street approaches and online game). From day 2 up to the full close I wouldn’t say my game is weak but the full closes are more through the sheer volume of girls I get to day 2 than the strength of the game from there on. So recently I’ve resolved to do some in depth analysis and tighten up everything from day 2 onwards. Been re reading Mystery Method (my style is a mixture of natural and MM) and have already changed some of the things I do.
I had a day 2 last week and here is my field report. I welcome all analysis, suggestion and constructive criticism and thank anyone who can provide this in advance.
Now I was due to meet this girl a month earlier. The day before the meet she tried to cancel with some lame excuse saying “I can’t make it I need to meet my friends”. I told her it wouldn’t do and said “I always do what I say I’m gonna do and my friends and family are the same. I hope you understand”. When I got no reply from her I assumed she was unreliable and deleted her number. The next day I switch on my phone to find some irate messages – she had actually gone to the meeting spot, waited 40 minutes then left when I didn’t show up. I let things cool down and then worked her back to rearranging the meet when we were both back from holiday.
We met, said hi and I started to lead her to the venue where we’re gonna get some drinks. I’ve decided to use negs early on and rib them during the first 15-20 minutes to build up the attraction before moving onto rapport. I start early with “nice shoes… are they size 10s?”. I can literally see the effect it has on her. Straight away I invite her to qualify
ME: Would you say you’re an adventurous person?
HER: Yes
ME: So what’s the most adventurous thing you’ve done this year?
HER: Hesitates
ME: [playfully] Ah, you sound about as adventurous as my grandmother
For the rest of the walk to the bar she is qualifying herself by explaining how she’s adventurous. When we get to the bar she insists on getting the first round.
So at this stage I have established good attraction. We sit down and I continue for a little while with some light screening. I then move things over to more of an “establishing a connection” frame. We play the 2 truth 1 lie game (the other person has got to guess which of the 3 statements the other has made about themselves is the lie). I do a palm read on her. When I say “let me see your hand” she holds it out for me to see rather than actually giving me her hand (I take this as she is quite untrusting and needs a lot of comfort – the vast majority of the time, quite early on they usually just thrust me their hand). I try out a line I got from a mate but it comes across as incongruent and a cheesy “line”.
ME: You know you should so fire the person who took your profile photos… you look much better in real life
HER: Turns a bit shy – is that a line you use on everyone?
We continue talking and she says some things I rib her on - having the frame that I’m the prize ie. “ah, I know what you girls are like, you’re only after one thing” and “how do I know I’m safe around you”.
I brought up the failed meet and said it was unfortunate – I never arrange a meet and then don’t turn up and that I felt a little bit bad as she had seemed upset. She said she had gone home and cried over a bottle of wine but it was OK.
We do a bounce from the chairs to the more comfy sofas.
At this stage there is good banter. I’m ribbing her playfully and she’s playfully feigning to punch me. We share some intimate stories. She talks about a friend of hers who recently had an abortion and how she had a miscarriage and some other bad experiences. She says it has made her untrusting but that she needed a guy to come in and break down that barrier. We continue talking and she says she is “high maintenance” and is concerned that would put me off.
I told her “I don’t think you are. A girl being high maintenance is usually something I can spot straight away and it makes me run a mile. But you’re not high maintenance, I can tell. You just like nice things. I’m the same”.
She also says she doesn’t think she’s adventurous enough for me. I said to her “you could be right” playfully. One of the things she said was that my life is so fast paced and exciting and she’s not like that. I speak about how my life isn’t always like that and I have some relaxing/reflective times too.
She also does something I construe as an IOD and worthy of being pushed away. I work in the city and normally wear a suit to work. But as Friday is dress down day I was in jeans and a Tshirt. She says she was expecting me to turn up in a suit and was a bit disappointed. I act unaffected but shortly after neg here again with “you talk really fast” and “where’s your off button” (done more playfully).
Now I’m not sure if I should have been that harsh on her. In Mystery Method he says you can neg them at the start but don’t do it later on – if you want to punish in the comfort stage just remove your attention.
We go for a short walk along the thames (bounce #2) then back to the station. Now the kiss close was a bit of a screw up which can’t have done the “rapport/trust” aspect of the connection any favours. There had been hardly any kino so I wasn’t going to go for the k close. When we said goodbye I gave her a kiss on each cheek, same as the start, but then she lingered, kept her face close to mine. In the past when this has happened it had screamed out “kiss me!” and when I had gone to pull them in they jumped on me. This time round I thought “fu** it” and when I went to pull her in she hesitated with “no, I’m not ready”. I said “just a small one” and pulled her in closer for a kiss on the lips before letting her go.
She text me when she got home but since then I’ve sent her two low pressure texts with no reply. I had a similar day 2 to this back in June with the same result.
Reflecting on this it looks like I had clear attraction but fell down on the rapport. Did I get male to female attraction wrong by not IOIing her when she qualified herself? Did I come across as too fast paced, someone with a hugely exciting life who she wouldn’t be able to relate to? Did the k close at the end make me come across as the guy who will escalate before she is comfortable? Was she just a difficult nut to crack on the rapport front and as she admitted herself just a generally unstrusting person?
Feedback/suggestions welcome
CHAT