Ok so I'm kinda new to the game, had some messed up relationships in the past, I've never had a normal relationship. I've learned to calibrate and nrclose in day or night, my approach is now pretty ok, text game is also quite sharp.
Now I'm hitting this constant problem on day2s, which I never encountered before I started game, because then all the girls knew me from somewhere and were at least a bit invested. This time I am a total stranger who asks them out, no pressure, and I can clearly see reality : my personality sucks sometime. I always either over escalate, which happened a few times in the past especially with quite shy girls, and they never contacted me again. Either I keep it casual conversation, no arousal or escalation or tension of some sort(except eye contact) and I lose the girl this way, since she isn't emotionally invested in the interaction. This last thing happen when the girl intimidates me in some way, generally to do with her looks and with the fact she is a few years older(btw this has little to do with society standards, I have some weird personal standards in terms of look).
So with this last girl I really liked, the last thing took place. We went to a coffee, just talked, laughed, but talked about superficial stuff like music, school. Very little sexuality was brought in the interaction. I also didn't touch her. And we kinda left on a weird note, I mean I felt we were just two unknown people brought together somehow and asked to be polite, there was no depth and the involvement in the interaction gradually decreased. My question is : what am I doing wrong in the big picture ? and can I save it with this girl ? when should I text her again ?

Date story :
We meet up. I do a hug and let her come to me, as I saw Julien. She talks about my cold approach, it was weird and she was approached twice before in her life, and that was awkward. So I say I believe it's a romantic and original way to meet someone, who you'd maybe reject at a club. We joke on that topic. We go for a drink, we sit in L, near each other. I felt nervous, anxious, outcome dependent because I've been thinking about this date before, I had some stories I wanted to tell her. I told her the stories in a very rushed way. They were about how I fought with some old friend of mine and canceled my plans to go on a trip with him, and something about a girl who was acting weird towards me on a date. Tried to force eye contact during this time, sometimes she would look at me for long times. I also gave her some lame ass compliments. She would sometimes laugh at my jokes, but probably just out of politeness. I try to bring sexuality on the table : am I too young for you ? do you usually date guys my age ? My jokes and everything I said were out of context, I was out of state. When I am out of state I find it hard to talk to strangers, and some burden of the interaction was on her. I told her I am comfortable with silences when I meet someone, she told me it's weird. But these silences felt heavy. She tells me she is into sports, I told her I like that. I told her to take me to swimming together, she told me she won't because I probably only want to see naked girls. She gets a text, she has to meet up with a friend. She keeps telling me you cannot know a person after so little time, and I keep saying I am not used to really putting my personality out there. After a short while I initiate the take off, knowing I fucked up. The conversation gets even harder, as my state is going down. Run out of things to say, or at least felt like it. As we walk a bit, we meet with some very cool guy. I see him and my game crumbles, he was 100x cooler nonverbal, looks, tonality. He was also befriending me, joking with me. I get even more in my head, as I realize her friend are cool as fuck, while I don't really have any friends at all. I ask her the chode question at the end, on the lines of : so, how do we get along ? I don't remember what she answered, but for sure it wasn't very good. I also leave halfway towards were she thought I'd lead her. Gave her a hug, she said she is not a hug person so I gave her a hi5 instead. And we left.