Starting my diary/journal today. Why? To get regular with gaming. I have had positive results with sarging such as higher confidence, carefree mindset and so on. Feeling confident in everyday situations is key element for happiness in my point on view. So let's get started with it!

How will I build up my posts

actions: Task that I will do
outcome: What I gain from that task
short comments: Comments on how did this task go and all related.


NOTE: I have work schedule that will make it a bit irregular tough, one week off one work..

May 16 / 2013

actions: going to my gym training on foot asking stupid question on way
outcome: not taking myself to seriously
short comments: i asked stupid questions couple times.. had nervousness still tough..

I can't say that I failed todays mission that hard because I went out and some-how completed my task even that I only did ask few girls. I will try harder tomorrow tough. I took a book from library its called Powerful Beyond Measure by Nick Williams don't know nothing about this book yet, i will tell more about it if have read it.

motivation for today: "Don't take life too seriously you never get out of it alive" - Elbert Hubbard

May 17 / 2013

actions: asking questions from girls
outcome: less nervousness approaching girls
short comments: I went out with my best friend he usually doesn't do very well and that affects my game also. But today went surprisingly good. We had a lot of fun, talking to strangers can be very amusing as we know . I think that helped me a lot to get in to better mindset.

action: going to club sober
outcome: practice sober club game
short comment: no gaming today in day time, but going out sober in to clubs recommend it .. everything is much more real when sober.

Just came back from club when I arrived to club with my friend there was almost nobody there yet. So we sat down. Time went by more people came and it started to look more like it. We went first on the dance floor we had some fun, but yea dancing when you are sober is really awkward and that so funny because of it. Soon more people came to dance floor and we kinda took place on mini-stage we were higher than other from other people ground wise.

It was still hard to get the vibe, but yea what I basically did was looking around and catching some eye pairs. And I caught many of those.. girl were looking us up regularly. That's freaky, but one girl actually approached me and two came up to a stage to dance close to me and tried to grab attention. Those two are not worth talking about. But the one who approached me she was with gorgeous face very model like girl, 180cm tall and she had heels.. but also she was very skinny so I was doubting what to do because she was somehow beautiful her eyes, soft lips which were kissable.. but I didn't go for it, I just didn't feel comfortable with skinny part. When your sober in club you actually notice stuff. I was saying that girls approached me, that's perhaps because I'm pretty? LOL it's fucking redic to say it about yourself, but I get that often from totally strangers. And my eye contact is firm, but what I'm not very happy about is my sexual confidence..and what makes it even harder is that I consider myself quite picky.

If somebody here have tips for me how to be more touchy and get more confident with being more sexual then I would love to here them!

Clubbing sober thoughts after next day. Ridiculous it like any other day when you didn't go to sleep that early. Spent so little in club only tickets since water inside is free you only have to ask. Another bonus =D, and if you want to be very consistent with clubbing going sober seems to be only reasonable way if you don't want to end up being alcoholic I suppose.

Today had my training in gym, it felt like any other day not any signs that I had gone out clubbing day before. Really guys this is step-ahead, when I drink in club I consider myself good, but it has come from tons of club events, I have no problem going in dance floor making fun of myself, dancing with gay guys, grinding against girls my ass to their groin - it's just translates that i'm fun guy and I don't give to much fuck.

.. But it is much harder when you go sober in clubs. It is bringing back memories tough, going sober out sober is like going in to clubs when I was younger my first times in clubs, but when I get used to it I think I will be good as I have little liquid courage in me .

My work week will start tomorrow it means that I'm basically away for about one week.. that for sure makes gaming harder that I have one week off, but we will make it!

See you in about week! I hope you don't give up on me

action: I had no specific mission today, but I did approach 3 girls
outcome: more confidence
short comments: I went out with my mate today we wanted to do some cardio so we went to play some football. After that I walked around with my friend in city I had gaming in my mind as always. He was not down, there was no enthusiasm behind his eyes. And it pulls me down as well. So I send him off and when we are about to say goodbye I see nice looking blonde girl she was talking with her phone. So I walk ahead with my friend that girl went same way for a bit and I told to my friend that I think I'm gonna go for it and he headed on his way and I went after girl.

She was still on her phone, but I still approached her nevertheless.. I told that I did see her walk by and I had to tell hi. And yea I soon find out that she was 15' years old.. how is it even possible girls these days .. I was so stunned by that I even called to me friend and told that she was 15' he was amazed also. I'm 20 years old 5 years of age difference. A lot!

After that I had 2 other approaches just to show myself that I can make it again. Nothing special from those 2 tough, one had boyfriend and other was racing like a fucking racehorse.. Don't know what was that about..

action: nothing
outcome: surprising
short comments: One of the girl who I went out with few days ago started chatting on fb, we were talking for few hours normally I don't like to spend that much time on chit-chatting.. But yea there were some interesting parts.

Shortly what happened she came over..I've been quite cold with her, not on purpose, but just been anti-social few days . So it may worked to my favour not sure.

She came over we already had plans that we will make little massage session, easy kino for me and hard to fail.
We decided who will be first one who will make hand oily and she was *winner* so I was getting massaged. It was great..it always is

It soon was my turn. She laid down and opened her bra's I started rubbing and working it real good, we were talking all time during this very natural kind of way no awkward situations. I worked up her back and told that it is finished and I will move lower. And I pulled down her pants and pink thongs appeared and very nice with it. (she have competed in fitness modelling) I started working legs for a while it sure went a little too long.. I was quite clueless how to go on. And I told her to massage me again so she did. After she ended we sat next to together on a bed and I went in for a kiss in some point. Step 2 I went for condoms and pulled my underwear down and I entered.. I was banging her quite long over hour and half, she contracted in some points not sure if orgasm or no she did it quite often and was smiling and was pulling me very hard, I didn't came, but my balls are swollen for some reason. And it all went on from there... Tuning out we wake up now . Well I'm back told goodbye to her..I didn't ask if she came or not.. fuck maybe I will ask it later not sure. Logically she did all signals were there.

I'm not biggest fan of her facial aesthetics tough.. but I needed this lay for practice. Not sure if I'm gonna meet her again I'm sure that she will want to continue this, but yea.. I don't want to be heartless fucker also..so Yeah..