Hey guys. I decided to start my FR to get constructive feedback to my failures so I can become better as a person and to have a better selection of women, rather than the kind I have been getting mainly "settling for less than what I want." So, I started a few weeks ago reading and learning my way into the stages of being a PUA.

Background:
I'll be honest about myself. When I was very young, I had no problems walking up to any chick, by the time I got into middle school and reaching puberty. I started to get more self-conscious and never had the confidence as I were always bullied, made fun of and whatnot, which made my self-conscious and confidence go downhill. I didn't lose my virginity until the age of 26. Which was about 5 months ago, I guess you could say. It did build a little more confidence, even though she wasn't a HB8+, but more like a 7 and she was a mum and we were only FWB (which didn't last long (long story)).

My friends who were going to clubs and asked me if I wanted to go along. My first time ever going. It's a rave club. Yeah, I got into the rave scene and been going every week now on Fridays. At first, I didn't really bother approaching women, because I was too nervous, my first time being in the environment and scene that I didn't want to appear as a newcomwer and whatnot.

I finally got tired of being alone, even though I am comfortable with it to a point. I wanted something more and even if it's just compansionship as one of my mates as a chick and they go and I look all in envy. So, I decided to look into PUA. I know, I know, you shouldn't really bother picking up in a rave scene as most chicks are on drugs. But honestly, that might be true and for the most part it is. I'm just going there for the fun now and to build experience and to get more confident (yes even if they are fucked up or not). It would help and once I get better, I can switch to day-time as that seems to be more advanced and I still can't muster up the confidence for that. I am getting more confident at the night game.

Anyway, I read up on a blog that did give me a little more help on fighting the AA problem that I sorta have still and whatnot. I'm slowly getting it to go away. I went to the club two days ago and was not putting my head into trying to find someone, but have fun and just go with the flow and build my conversation skills up.

I tried to talk to two chicks that walked by, and tried a simple "Hey." I guess I didn't say it loud enough or they just ignored me. I honestly don't know. I thought about taking my hand and softly touching their elbow. I mean nothing like creepy, but just a way to get their attention and then let go. But, I still have no idea on how to properly do this, so I need some help on this part.

I was talking to my mates while chilling under the bridge (a place that the club has a balcony like under a bridge). A couple of weeks ago, my friends talked to this chick and told them I'm the robot guy on Grandma's Boy. She wanted me to show her my robot skills (I was silly and felt a fool as I can't dance to dubstep (which I want to fix badly)). She gave me a hug and omfg it was very nice and been a while since I got one. She's cute, about a foot shorter than me, wears some geek like black thick glasses (not sure if it's required or just wears them). Anyway, I asked her for a hug and got one from her. Felt really nice and got me into the mood.

So, my mates and I went outside of the club, so I could get my mobile and let me borrow their hoodie, as it was a little cold. On the way back into the club after showing my 21 wristband. I seen a black chick and I wanted a hug. (Really to see if chicks will do that and it being innocent). She gave me this weird look and said "Nooo." I guess, I can't randomly go up to a chick and ask for a hug or maybe when they haven't gotten into the club. I got rejected for a hug, but decided to not let it affect my moment during the night, so I brushed it off and moved on.

My friends decided to leave early, because they weren't feeling it that night. I told them I was in the moment and wanted to stay and I would catch public transportation. So, they left and went home. I felt a little out of place, as I was by myself, but I got comfortable being myself as I didn't have my mate be drunk like last time and embarrass me, because he was drunk.

So, I decided to go around, take a smoke break like every 15-30 minutes, sit down and relax. I met a group of a guy and a girl. We started talking. She was like a gawfic chick. While her guy friend wasn't. I didn't see them touching or anything. I asked what their relationship (to find out their status with each other and she said "friend"). I was chewing gum and she thought maybe I was rolling. I can't remember if I asked about it or she just offered it. She had a pacifier (o_O) on a necklace and offered it to me. At first, I rejected it and she said "I don't let anyone suck/bite on it. So you should feel lucky that I'm letting you." So I sucked on it playfully. (Was this an IOI?) Well, I was talking to some of other friends (they were gay guys). I thought that it was best to try and start conversing with them, so I can try and get closer in good with her. I don't remember why I left that area. I think it was to find gum.

I decided to try and watch how some people were dancing, so I can pick up some pointers and do it myself. I didn't see her there until the last minute. I didn't try to make it seem like I noticed her and be creep, but try and make it look like I just ran into her by accident. She was dancing and stopped. She walked towards my direction, but not directly at me. I was debating whether to talk to her and ask for a dance, but my mouth opened up and said something along the lines of "wanna dance?" She looked at me and said, "I gotta go find my friend." I thought at first maybe she really did have to go find him/them. So I didn't think of it as a rejection, just incase it wasn't. But I went outside to go smoke a cigarette and noticed her out there from the side of my eye, so I just leaned against the rail and looked at the river under the bridge, so I didn't make it seem like I was being creepy or anything, because I don't want shit to start going around and label me as a creepy guy there to where no one would talk to me. I did notice that she never came up to me to go dance. So, I didn't bother to walk up to her and push it, or anything. So, I guess, she rejected me? Maybe, I should have gone over there and talked to her?

After that, I decided to leave as it was 4am and pretty much everyone left by then.

I'll be going back Friday and Saturday next week as it's my mate's 21st birthday and he wants to get hammered finally rather than have a X on both hands. So, I offered to buy him some rounds as no one did that on my 21st birthday. So, I'll have two nights to work on more game and building up my experience. I'm just going to go up there with no intent to find a ONS, F-close, K-close, but just have fun and if it happens, it happens, because it seems when I go up there with the intent to talk to the females. I get into a bad state and that's when I mess up. It should be more of fun and a challenge to work on rather than out of desperation as women can pick that stuff up.

Btw, I wore a neon highlighter yellow shirt, some blue sweatpants and a pair of Jordans to match an outfit. I tend to be more of a peacock person there. But, I love wear those kind of silly humour shirts. I guess, that's just me in general.

So, please give me some constructive criticism, rather than just flaming.

Well I went out to the club with friends last night. Sadly I didn't approach any. I did get a massage from one but didn't try with her due to her already being taken and didn't want not drama. My friends got our co worker to dirty dance with me. I guess I got a little too aggressive. Only because I grabbed her waist and pulled her hips to me.

I guess that's really one reason I don't try in a way. I don't want to come off as too aggressive if I found a chick and got her interested.

I am going out tonight again for my birthday. Any tips and things to say and not say for it being my birthday?

It's been awhile since I updated. Had problems with car being in an accident twice and whatnot.

I went to the club for the past two days and had amazing times. I've had many chicks approach me, but sadly I didn't approach them. As I try to see if they are with a guy and whatnot, because I don't want to get into no fights.

One of my mates were talking to a guy friend that works as a bouncer some days and some days he doesn't. Well, the bouncer guy had a chick walk up to him and talk. I talked to her a little bit, but didn't bother, if he was trying trying with her. Well, I was walking to the dance floor after smoking a cigarette. She hit me in the arm and said something. I can't honestly remember what it was. But I talked to her and decided to get the balls to ask her to dance, but she said she she was exhausted from dancing and wanted to hang out with her friends. I said okay and walked off. 15-30 minutes she was back on the dance floor, but didn't bother to approach her again, since I assumed she was just rejecting me.

Well, after dancing for a few minutes. I was chilling with my mate on the couch on the balcony. One of the two chicks asked me if I could let their drunk friend sit down. So, I got up and let her friend sit down. My mate and I were talking to the two sober chicks and they were both entertained and smiling at us. Well, they decided to move their drunk friend somewhere else. I offered to help them with her and one of the chicks liked the idea, so I helped her friend get over there with them. Well, I seen two guys approach them and wasn't sure if they were their boyfriends or not as they weren't around the females at the time I met them. So I didn't bother really. So, I decided to chill and relax at the couch by them. Well, there was another dude next to me, but was getting some light show. I was watching it because I had nothing better to do at the time and I just wanted to lay down as my calfs were hurting from dancing. One of the chicks decided to sit right between me and the other guy. And it was a tight fit. I didn't bother with trying to talk to her, I honestly don't know why, because she was pretty good looking and her other sober friend too. by not saying anything she got up and walked off. I didn't see them again.

Much later there was another chick who approached me. A beautiful redhead. She came over to me for a light, then she started talking to me while playing with her head and smiling at me, giving me those glassy eyes, but by the time I realised what she was doing she decided to walk off.

My mates and I left half an hour later, since the sun was rising soon.

The next day, one of my mates asked if I wanted to go again to the same club, and I went.

I met a guy who was with his "complicated girlfriend" and another chick. I didn't get their relationship between them two. He introduced me to her. I guess trying to get me to talk to her and whatnot. I don't know why I didn't bother with her. I guess I blame it on the terrible day I was having. Maybe I'm just making excuses, who knows? I left her disappointed. /shrugs

I met another chick that was dancing under the bridge (part of the club). She was doing it right in front of me, but not at me. I asked her for her name and whatnot. She seemed interested in me. We chit-chatted for a few moments, until I did a boneheaded thing and told her, "you suck." Which, I didn't mean in a sexual way or even to offend her, but she just suddenly left before I could tell her I was joking. I was just trying to be playful, as that's the way I am with friends and other female friends I have.

I was smoking a cigarette under the bridge later on that night and another cute short chick asked me for a cigarette and I didn't bother at first, because I thought she was just bumming off of me like everyone else. I offered her my last cig and at first she declined it because of that, but I still gave it to her. I got up and leaned against the rail and we just started talking out of the blue. I kept eye contact with her, and so did she, but once in a while she would look off, but then immediately connect guys again. We talked maybe 10-20 minutes (est). I don't know how long but it felt long. I asked her where she was from and if she came with them. I guess I probably made the mistake of asking those as she probably thought "OMFG the interview mode crap" and about a few minutes later just walked off. I don't know if they were just leaving and that's why, or maybe I didn't go for the close like I did the previous night.

I was genuinely interested in all of these chicks. I didn't try and force myself to not reject them and whatnot. It just happened.

I don't know. Maybe I'm reading too much into it and hoping there was something or I don't know.