| Friday, January 25th
• Went out for the first time since returning to the United States from Korea. I was struck by how DIFFERENTLY girls in the US dance. Its sort of intimidating. They have some very unique moves. There was something comforting about Korean girls… they all dance the same, simple way. I could keep up. How do you open a girl on the dance floor in the states? Just going over to them and grinding up on them isn't my style. Would going up to them and extending your hand, then twirling them, be a good tactic?
• Didn’t open any sets, but wing saw a friend, brought me over and introduced me.
• I began the interaction well. I shook the girls hand then positioned myself to her right side so that she was facing me alone, and not the group. I had just read a blog post about “seven static sentences” like “where are you from?” “What do you do?” and that saying absolutely ANYTHING was better than asking these questions, so I just said the first damn thing that came to my mind, which was “Have you ever met a guy who has visited every country in Asia?" (not true, but thats just what came out) I think she said no, but I could see she was curious. She asked me some follow up question, which I refused to answer, shaking my head and saying, "I'm not telling." I was trying to be a challenge. I extended my hand and said something like, “lets dance.” I twirled her and we moved to the dance floor.
• As we began dancing I told her, you know, you have the privilege of being the first girl I’ve talked to since returning to the states from five months in Asia. She then replied, “no, you have the privilege of talking to me.” I rolled my head back, laughed, and said, “you are totally different from Korean girls.”
• The dance floor experience was very different from Korea. One the girl was twirled and on the dance floor, it was easy to manipulate the girls body. Resistance was very low. This girl, however, told me to “back up.” That she “needs her space.” And “don’t lean in, I can hear you just fine.” I also expressed that I wish I had more moves than just a twirl, but she said "thats a pretty good one though." I then twirled her again.
• We danced, and, falling back on the “static seven” I asked her: a) if she was a student, b) what her year was, c) and what her major was. She was a senior, psychology major. (So, even though she was a white girl, she was cute, and young enough… definitely wished I had gotten her damn number instead of getting blown out, but that's how you learn).
• Ok, anyway, she told me she was a psych major, and I said basically, “wow, well I’m a law student, but I actually am way more interested in psychology… And I’m not telling you this to impress you or anything.” She responded, “don’t worry you are not impressing me.”
• Each time this girl gave me shit I rolled my head back and laughed. I told her I’ve been in Asia the last five months, and that she was really different to me. She seemed curious about this. She then asked me, so “how are Korean girls different.” I told her “they are easier.” She asked, “what do you mean?” I said that Korean girls don’t “keep distance,” referencing her request to keep some distance while dancing. Immediately, she said, “we’re done here” and stormed off. Confusing… What should I have done instead? Difficult to say…
• Honestly, the pace of conversation (fluent English) and the readiness with which this girl, and others, were willing to talk shit to me threw me off my game quite a bit.
Any feedback y'all can give on how I what I could have done better is very much appreciated!
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CHAT