so I decide to go out tonight ...

I rehearsed my routines ... I got ready and picked up my friend ...

we pick up this stripper that my buddy new ... she lived about 30 minutes away ...

by the time we get back ... it's kinda late ... we decide to go to the club anyways for about an hour ... we go in ... and as far as what I rehearsed I'm supposed to follow the 3 second rule and approach as soon as I entered the venue ... I walk in .. and it's not many hot girls ... a couple yes ... but all with dudes ... and mostly guys in the club ... so I feel a little hesitant with mixed sets ... so I try to play it cool ... and practice the ghost energy ... I lean back and chill back ... but still dance a bit .. and throw out a couple of soundbites ... to put some flame energy out ...

I see some set's I wanted to approach .. but I didn't really do it ... I felt like there might be an external interrupt coming ... or whatever excuse I had for not going in ... like the vibe didn't feel right ...

tho I knew exactly what to say ... I just couldn't get myself to do it .. so I'm drinking my drink my friend bought me ... and kinda chilling back having my own time ...

I walk away to the bar to buy a second drink ... I open a set over my shoulder of HB's ... like 4's ... lol ... ok fine they were social and friendly ... we chat a bit ... friendly conversation ... I eject ... I approach a single set sitting alone ... she rejects me ... with I'm waiting for my friend ... without even making eye contact with me when speaking ... before she walked away ... whatever It was funny ... kinda ...

I finish my second drink and loosen up ... we bounce to another club ... I become the life of the party ... 3 girls gave me lap dances ... I got sandwiched ... and I gave 2 of them a lap dance ... everybody was looking at me and I became the life of the party ... everybody started coming to meet me ... and try to befriend me ...

we went to Walmart after that so I can sober up ... where I number closed a girl ...

I guess I'm supposed to be proud of the fun I had ... but I wasn't ... I feel like that only happened cuz I drank ... the girls were only using me for attention ... and there was no realness to it ... just fakeness

my sticking points are ...

- why can't I loosen up sober like that?
- how can I hold my ground and be more real ... and avoid that using each other for attention shit ... I don't like that?
- why is it that everyone in a club seems to have a shield ... and they all put up an act ... but I can see right through all of it and nobody is being themselves?
- how do you make people drop there guard?
- I'm not interested in one night stands ... I actually don't want girls to touch me ... grind on me ... feel up on me ... and just be all sexual with me ... for no reason ... I don't even know there name ... until I feel they have proven to me that they are worth that to me ... and they can at least talk a bit ... and have something smart to say ... how do I convey that?

any thoughts and advice ... I feel like I'm the only one who is not a horn dog at times lol??

help!

Sounds my thread a few down, I got more info/talking to a girl at walmart hb9ish than girls I worked with all week. LOL!!

_________________
It is not AA that scares me or affects me anymore, its leading a conversation forward and keeping her interested. AA is nothing.

I rehearse my routines before I go out ... planning to run them on some sets ...

I pick up all my friends ... and we buy drinks for the night ... I'm DD ... which is fine since I like the sober feeling and being more aware and in control of my interactions ...

We find out about a lake party ... but first we wanted to go smoke some hookah ... on our way were all listening to some music ... singing along and dancing ... having a good time ... just putting that flame energy out ...

walk into the hookah ... we see a bunch of people we know ... we talk to them ... having a good flame energy ... and ghost since were not looking around if anybody is watching us ... tho I did notice ... everyone watching us

I still felt a little weird about my routines ... because they feel scripted to me ... so I just naturally flirt with the waitress ... call her little ... she recommends a flavor of hookah for me ... and I'm like ... "idk if I'm gonna like that ... tell you what ... since your recommending it ... I'll try it ... but if I don't like it ... you have to swap it out for another one" ... and she's all like "umm no ... if you get something ... your gonna stick with it ... and your gonna like it" ... I'm like "really? ... really? ... now the other hookah bar did that for me" ... she says "well if you like it there so much why don't you just leave" ... so I'm like "ok ... well in that case ... I'm not trying your flavor .. now give me my menu" ... she's like "well .. you can try this other one ... it's really good ... it's my favorite" ... so when she decided to be nice I responded with "ok ... I think we can go with that one " ... and off she goes ...

Were hanging out and I see a set across the room ... ahhh ... I start over thinking it ... I'm telling myself "3 second rule dude .. do it ... do it!!" ... by the time I think it through they stand up and leave ... so ... lesson learned on that one ... that's exactly why the 3 second rule exists ... I just missed an opportunity ... but whatever ...

so for some reason another waitress takes our table ... new girl ... HB9 definitely ... so she's like "hey guys ... I'm gonna be serving you guys now" ... I respond with "I never seen you here before ... first day on the job?" ... she's like "yea ... I just started" ... so I'm like "well I will do my best to make your experience a good one on your first day" ... she kinda looked at me weird and said like a one liner ... and I'm like "I hope I can make you feel right at home ... I like to make people feel good around me " ... she responded well with "well thank you ... blah blah"

my friend get's hungry so I go and grab her and tell her "aye ... my friend needs a sandwich ... come feed him" ... she laughs and says she will be right there ... she comes and get's his order ... where I was immersed in conversation with my friend and didn't even notice her ... where I here her from the side "what about you bad boy ... you want anything?" ... it takes me a second to process where it was coming from ... then I turn and say "who me? ... no ... no ... I'm a good boy I promise" ... she's like "oh yea ... I can tell by your image" ... and I'm like "don't you judge me" ... she laughs and leaves ...

after we left the hookah we head to this party ... I walk in I'm saying what's up to all these guys ... some guys hooks me up with a shot from his liqueur bottle ... I'm flirting with girls ... dancing ... guys are coming to talk to me ... now I still felt a little nervous about routines ... cuz the whole scripted thing .. but I did really good naturally ... girls were sitting on my lap telling me about themselves ... coming to sit next to me ... throwing flirty comments at me ... only thing I didn't do is capitalize on it and get numbers ...

great night ... slowly but surely finding my groove ... I try to do it sober all the time ...

my goal is instead of thinking a lot about approaching ... and my routines ... I just want to be in complete Zen Of Cool state ... like today ... everything just flowing naturally ... but in the back of my head leading girls through the M3 structure ... and using routines ... in a natural Zen Of Cool energy way ... if that makes sense to some of you guys ... I'm working on it tho ... expect big things in the future ... keep a lookout for me ...

PS:
if anybody want's to throw some field reports under my thread ... that's fine ... I wouldn't mind reading some stories ...

till next time ... I think pool party tomorrow

Hey man whatever works right ... keep working at it ... you can use my thread for your field reports if you'd like ... we can help each other out ... cheers

because you don't challenge yourself enough, do some things that actually frighten you, get outside of what is comfortable
honesty, and what was stated above so that you feel comfortable using it
everyone wants to be accepted and valued, when you approach and they don't know you, you could be a threat to this, if you are approaching maybe you are not accepted and looking for acceptance and value from them, if they give this acceptance and value to you maybe it will make others think less of them, so they feel insecure or listen to their ego, it tells them fuck that, they are better then that, they won't socialize at the risk of losing the approval of others
bring value, be looking to give, instead of looking to take, offer your acceptance instead of looking for theirs, basically don't be needy
this is hit and miss, if a girl wants a one night stand and you stop her, she could feel rejected and judged, and resent you as a result, but basically if this is what you want, show her with your words and actions, if you don't want a girl to grind on you but you are interested in her, be honest, if you want a girl to prove to you that she can talk, then talk to her and see for yourself if she has what you are looking for, when you find they have what you want, let them know, then go grind up on them or what ever after so they know you didn't just reject them, you just wanted to know them first
don't worry about it man everyone has their own comfort levels around sex, but at the same time, be aware if you find you are repulsed by the idea of sex something is up, everyone likes sex it's in our genetic makeup, you are not an exception, if you find you don't, you may be suffering from a medical condition that causes a loss of sex drive and should consult a medical professional

GOOD LUCK

Amazing how you understood everything I was getting at ... mad props ... I can tell you'r pretty good at this ... thanks for the advice!