hi
so ive been reading the forums and watching videos and its becoming more and more clear to me that i really should be documenting my process to keep myself motivated and stay focused on my goals.
so a little about myself, im 25 years old and im from iceland. i just recently started college studying business. i basically have no life at all, this is because from when i was 18-21 all i did was smoke weed all day long, then from 21-25 all i have done is play poker all day long. ive been a professional pokerplayer for the last 2-3 years or so but about a year ago the american government made it illegal for americans to play online poker so there isnt much money to be made anymore.
this forced me to take a long hard look at myself and realizing that my life sucks
i dont have any close friends, i have like 50 friends on facebook and most of them are family members and some friends from highschool and such.
so basically the biggest hurdle for me is just to develop my social skills really, its difficult for me to keep up a conversation with people because i just dont have any practice and until recently i didnt even want to converse with people that much.
im not a virgin by the way although i might as well be, its been so long since ive had sex i think my virginity might be growing back lol


good news is that im not going to give up easily because i literally dont have anything at all to lose, my life cant really get much worse lol

my goals for the next 3 months
get laid
lose 10 kilos
develop some type of a social circle
start to play a new sport


short term goals(next 2 weeks)
3 approaches per day on average
study 2 hours a day on top of going to classes
go to gym 5x a week and no sugar at all

today i started off with only 1 approach
i think i will only do daygame for now. im going to the mall, we only have 2 malls in iceland and im pretty tall and bulky so hopefully people wont start to recognize me as the creepy guy in the mall that talks to random people but whatever, a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do

1st approach
i went to the mall and wandered aimlessly for about an hour until finally i manned up and stopped a HB8, it went something like this

me: excuse me, i just saw you walking and i thought you looked cute. i hope this isnt too forward but do you want to go get a cup of coffe or something?
her: sorry but i have a boyfriend
i was going to ask what his name was to see if shes lying but chickened out and just said "ok thanks bye" or something.

my questions are what am i supposed to say else to build comfort? does anybody have any links to some routines or conversation topics or something?
also if i can get her to go for an instant date then wtf am i supposed to talk about? i mean what are good conversation topics except for the normal boring small talk questions?

It's good that you're being proactive and doing something about "your life." Good luck! I'd love to hear more about how everything is going in the future.

just posting this so hopefully in a few months i can laugh at myself
well yesterday i finally sacked up and went to the mall, all i did was ask 1 girl for directions and a girl who was working in some makeup store, i made up something about shopping for a gift for my sister but i didnt even try to escalate into anything else.

then this morning i woke up and almost decided to stay home and do nothing but watch videos, in my mind i was telling myself "meh i can do twice as many approaches tomorrow" but then decided to stop pussyfooting around this stuff, im gonna approach come hell or high water so after going to the gym i went to the mall.

went into a department store and talked to one of the woman selling perfume who was in her thirties just to warm up and talk to someone.
then i walked past a store where there was nobody inside except a girl sitting at the counter, i was going to do the sasha "you look beautiful blablabla" but im such a pussy i just told her "sorry im shopping for a gift for my mother i thought this was a different kind of store" LOL
then i immediately went into the next store and walked up to the girl at the counter and i nervously said "hi i saw you here and i wanted to tell you..." she just giggled and went "what?" and i froze up and just excused myself and left the store haha it almost hurts to be this much of a chode but looking like a retard has never felt this good though. i walked out of the mall with a stupid grin on my face. tomorrow im going to utter the words even if it kills me.

Hey dude,

I'm impressed with your story to be completely honest! First of all I want to say; I totally get that sitting in smoking pot can change everything about a person, it can change the way you perceive things, and have you constantly questioning different situations. So well done for breaking that cycle. I also need to credit you for stopping gambling and generally try to take hold of your life and steer it in the direction you want. Respect!

As previously mentioned you have impressed me and even more so with your start to the game! It is good to see you trying to change, and giving it a solid go. To be perfectly honest i reckon that you are doing better then a lot of people. It takes a lot of courage for someone to go up to someone during the day and put yourself out there to be judged, not everyone can do this. So well done!

I would suggest to keep doing what your doing as it will become more natural! It is just like going to the gym, and you hit the physical barrier you push yourself through it and continue. This is the attitude you need to adopt with the game. It is hard at first, but then so is everything that is worth learning. My advice would be to stick at it, and keep improving, trust me it will soon all fall in to place!

Let us know how you get on with everything and i sincerely wish you the best on this adventure!

Peace, Cola x

thanks alot for that but i didnt stop gambling. poker has been my job for the last 2 years before the american government shut us out. it really sucks to be a broke college student now since i cant buy anything, wish i would have realized back then to save up some money and not spend it all on hookers and weed lol but maybe the americans will open the doors again in the next few years. but thanks for the post mate

one thing that i realized the other day is that poker has given me what i think is the perfect mindset for PU. not be results oriented, keep control over your emotions and most of all to keep grinding(or approaching in this case)

anyway i bought the daygame blueprint last week and have been watching the videos and it is exactly what i needed, just a very simple structure to approaching. its made everything so clear to me. ive done a few approaches in the last few days but also been very busy with school and stuff.
today i started off with approaching HB8.
told her she was beautiful and asked where she was going but i became so nervous that the conversation fizzled out and i ejected. then HB5 to work on my nerves more then anything and it didnt go anywhere. its been like this mostly im just practicing assumption stacking for now. hopefully i will have gotten atleast 1 number by the end of next week.

so made 3 approaches today, first one was HB6. turned out she was american from texas and she told me she had a husband who was working for a software company. second one was probably about 19, there are 2 highschools right near the city centre so i figured she went to one of them so convo went like this

me:hi, sorry but i saw you walking there and thought you looked beutifal, are you a student by any chance?
her:yes
me: do you go to MR?
her: (walking away) no i go to kvenno
i stood there like a moron lol. not sure if i should try to say something else when they walk away, definately dont want to follow them but maybe i should have told here to wait or something but meh she was only HB5 anyway

next one was HB8. she was wearing some really weird polarbear skin hat which looked incredibly expensive so convo went like this

she was walking into a office building and i stopped her in the lobby outside the elevator. it was empty though
me: excuse me i saw you walking there outside and i thought you looked very beautiful
her: oh thank you
me: are you an art student by any chance?
her: yes, its the hat that gave it away isnt it
me: well its everything really, what are you studying?
her: film
me: have you seen the movie svartur a leik(new icelandic movie everybodys talking about)
her: no but ive heard good things about it
me: what are you doing tomorrow evening
her: are you asking me out?
me: yes
her: sorry i have a boyfriend
me: well i guess thats it then
her: thanks a lot though this was fun. take care

meh i really suck at this assumption stacking. everytime i get into a convo my brain freezes up but i can already tell a huge difference from a couple weeks ago

tomorrow maybe i go to the mall with the goal of 5 approaches, it really sucks to go to the city centre because its really shitty weather in iceland this time of year

didnt have anything to do and the mall is open late on thursdays so went there for a few approaches.
walked into a watch store that was empty and the girl at the counter was reading a newspaper and i loudly said "good evening" and she jumped out of her chair lol. i laughed a bit and asked to see some watch. she was really really short maybe 1.60m but very cute so i just straight up told her i thought she looked beautiful and what she was doing tomorrow evening. she told me she had a boyfriend but in retrospect maybe i should have tried plowing and maybe just given her my own number incase they break up soon because i could tell she was into me. she thanked me and i left.
then approached a girl sitting byherself at a bench. after giving her the compliment i made up something about giving my little sister a birthday present and not knowing what to buy and then the convo went to some movie which was good to get her opinion on something but the convo always runs out before i feel like ive built up any comfort so when i ask if they want to meet up sometime they say they have a boyfriend.
im doing 5 approaches a day for the next week and hopefully about 20 approaches before sunday evening. its true what they say this shit is addictive lol who would have known that getting rejected and looking stupid would be this much fun haha

Dude you are on track, keep it up. I can see from your posts the direction you're going-esp the last one, and it looks good. Its a little hard for the rest of us to help, never met an Icelandic bird (L) plus we need more detail. The more posts you put up the more others blokes will find ways to contribute.
Two things I have always taken on board with pickup:
Confront the problem-if you are approaching a girl in the mall and its completely off the cuff, use that as your intro. eg 'Hey I know this is totally random, but I think you have a nice style and I had to come up and say hi blah blah...' It shows you understand what shes going through and it'll put her at ease-maintain eye contact and a smile and speak slowish while doing this to show confidence.
Overassume her situation-I often presume she is married/engaged and then work backwards 'hey your husband must really enjoy that about you. Your not married? Oh ok well then your boyfriend blah blah...' Its flattering for her and she'll get a giggle out of it, shows confidence in yourself etc etc. Its incredible how often they tell me they are single when I do this, Its almost like they default to being single rather than default to being in a relationship.
Anyway good luck mate, look forward to hearing more of your stories.

thanks alot for that. today went for 5 approaches so that brings lifetime total upto 20 so far.

went to the mall and saw HB8 and did the yad stop and gave her the compliment. then i asked her if i could get a female opinion on something so i combined the 2 openers lol. not sure if thats the way to go but im just trying to build a conversation and she was very clearly not interested so i just let her go and said "thanks"

i went outside for some fresh air and HB4 was smoking a cig so i opened her
me; what should i get my little sister for her birthday? im thinking maybe some beauty products
her: nah go with jewelry, all women would like jewelry
me: oh ok, but listen....
her: nice to see you(and then walked off lol)

next one was kind of mistake, saw this asian woman who looked a lot younger but when i opened her i could tell she was probably over 30. thats the problem with growing up in iceland. everybody is white, blonde and protestant and if i see a minority they just all look alike from afar. sounds racist maybe but its true.
anyway i open with you are very beautifal blablabla and eventually after some small talk about her country(thailand) she tells me she has a husband.

it seems difficult to do daygame in malls because going direct may not be socially calibrated but going indirect just makes me feel like a pussy and seems weird and unnatural to me.
after this i went downtown to get something to eat and made couple approaches in the meantime. stopped a HB7.5 in the street and did the compliment and made some assumption that she might be an art student and made some small talk but she was meeting some friends so she had to go. she was walking very fast so i believe her but maybe i should have been more aggressive.
as a side note when i was walking back some filthy looking bum smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up and said in broken english "Good job!" LOL. not sure if thats positive or not
next one was a huge mistake girl looked like HB6 but when i approached i saw that she was like 40 lol. but meh i decided to still go with it but she was married obviously.
not the best day i guess but ill keep going out this weekend. tomorrow maybe ill hang out around school campus and try to open some girls. anybody have any ideas for good college openers? i have to go to school there so maybe i will have to open indirect. hopefully can do 15-20 approaches this weekend.

btw all feedback is appreciated. even if you just want to laugh and call me a chode then thats fine too

went downtown again today, was abit lucky on my way downtown i saw a very cute asian HB8.5 and immediately approached

me: can i tell you something very quickly?
her: what
me: i was walking across the street there and thought you looked very beautiful
her: oh thanks, i thought you were going to tell me i almost got run over by a car or something
me: where are you from?
her:america
me: (she had a familiar accent and i lived in upstate new york for one year so i took at shot) new york city?
her: no washington dc actually
me: well east coast so close enough
her: yeah haha well im in a hurry actually(walking away)
me: wait, if you are in a hurry then maybe we can meet up sometime later
her: i cant my flight leaves tomorrow bye

it really sucks because i love asians and latin girls especially. btw why do all the hot asians only come from america and then when you see an actual asian from china or something they are always so plain? but anyway then i do downtown and see a HB8.5 walking very fast
me: can i tell yo something very quickly, you look very beautiful
her: oh thanks
me: (im such a dumbass i said "you look like your in a hurry to go somewhere" which is like a perfect excuse for her to just walk away so thats what she went to do but i told her to wait and asked her where she was going
her: im going to work
me: sorry i know we dont know eachother yet but since you are in a hurry do you want to meet up sometime for coffe?
her: is this a joke or something?
me: nah no joke
her: sorry i have a boyfriend(think it was a lie)
but she gave me a big smile so i think if my approach wasnt so bad or if she had more time maybe i could have made something happen

then just wandered around for 30 minutes without seing any targets at all, tried to stop HB4 just for practice but she walked past me. and besides i genuinely need to study so i just went home.
good news is i dont have much approach anxiety anymore, i didnt even think about it with the asian i just ran after her lol. less then 2 weeks ago i couldnt even get the words out so i guess im making progress. my brain still freezes quite a bit so i forget to talk loud and clearly and smiling and stuff but its definately getting better.
tomorrow maybe i just write down a few assumptions to have on the fly so i can kickstart the conversation when its running out.

i can see now that it just doesnt work for me to take a day off. if i decide to take 1 day off and what happens is that i just take every day off.
a few years ago i would just smoke weed and procrastinate but now that weed doesnt work anymore i just sit at home and watch RSD videos on youtube and procrastinate. i cant take a whole day on break again for the next few months. maybe 1 evening here and there but there are only 6 more weeks left of this semester so i really dont have time for any of this.
the revelation ive had in the last few days is that i tried going out approaching every day and being the man im supposed to be and i like it ALOT better then being a chode loser on the computer all day. the revelation is basically that its better to be a champ then a chode so thats what ill do now lol
its 2.30 am now and i just woke up feeling like shit so this post probably makes me sound melodramatic but im just writing this down so hopefully i wont fall into the same hole again.
i wrote down some goals i have until may 11th(end of semester)

pass both exams
200 cold approaches total(at 22 right now)
go to the gym 4x a week
weigh 108 kilos(116 right now)
go out 6 days a week
be more social, talk to everyone
get 2 day2´s
keep posting online
benchpress 100kg (3sets of 12) and run 9 kilometres in 1 hour.
study 4 hours a day

hopefully i can check these off in a couple months and if i can finish all of these goals then ill be well on my way to have an awesome summer i think.
anyway i will probably force myself to go make some approaches later.

so i went to the mall today, wandered around aimlessly for 30 minutes or so. its like everyday you slip up you go 1 step backwards so it felt like my approach anxiety was back worse then just a few days ago.
anyway i saw a HB8.5 who looked like an american. i lived in america for couple years and for some reason she had that look.

me:can i tell you something very quickly
her:what
me: i saw you walking around and i though you looked really nice
her: oh thanks
me; you dont happen to be half american or something?
her: well my parents are icelandic but i lived in america for 5 years
blablabla turns out she lived maybe 2 hour drive from where i lived. she said something about where i lived(syracuse) being boring but she said the word boring in english so i immediately imitated her on it and she laughed. i read somewhere that youre supposed to break rapport as soon as possible so im happy with that. soon i asked her for her number and she said "well i have a boyfriend but maybe we can meet up as friends" and gave me a funny knowing look so i said sure whats ur number and while i was taking her number my hands were shaking haha. she could see that my hands were shaking too lol. she told me to text her sometime and i shook her hand and walked away.
it reminds me of the time in The Game when neil strauss number closes a playboy model and his hands are shaking and hes sweating.wasnt the number close that i expected but i guess ill take it since she was really hot. doubt she will even answer considering how i choded out at the end but its good practice at least.

just a quick update for my own records. made 5 approaches yesterday and 5 more today.
got a phone number from a thai girl HB6 yesterday. so tiny like 1.55 but kinda cute.
my hands didnt shake this time so thats good haha. not much else to say, i can be at least a little present in the moment when im talking with the girl but still clam up quite a bit and need to work on my assumption stacking more and just lowering the bar for conversation.
so 33 approaches so far and 2 number closes. its actually better then i expected when i started. gotta start reading up on text game now i guess.

hey dude! Welcome. I had a similar situation. 0,0 friends and i can now say i have some life going on (5,5 monthes after i decided to change). I think you've put up some good goals! However there was one that made me change rapidly. GO OUT. Why? Well i'm not the hardcore party type of guy but since i started to go out i'm changing by far the most! I'm going to share a piece i published in my journey on this forum.

GO OUT!
I now go out 1 or 2 nights a week constant
This is what did it, and really changed me. Guys just go out and do it!
And i have one important note for you guys ... GET SOME WINGS!
When looking for a wing you find 2 types of 'm:
1. You're analytical wing (he read all the literature etc. but didn't really start the game (like you)
2. You're woman loving wing

I first found an analytical wing. Lots of phylosophy going on between us but no real gaming. Watch out for these guys...they can hold you back! But at the same time i met this guy who broke up with his ex as well. He didn't knew pickup and i didn't even ask or tell him about it. He seem a bit shalow to me at first but this guy has deep love for girls and nothing can stop him. I can strongly rocomend to hang out with these guys. I found him at the gym. And this is what descibes him
1. Male prescense
2. He can talk a bit and looks confident
3. When you start to talk about women to him he opens up!
4. decisively

When i met him we were arguing in the gym about how to do a excesize. We were both a bit stubborn but we were both our selves. He asked me out for beers and a month later we went out the first time. We talk about girls girls girls and girls. I would hang out with him being completely myself. He doesn't have to be very good looking but the most important thing is he has to love the girls not the book the game. We would go to a club and push our boundaries hard. K-close 2-5 girls always and #close even more.

_________________
HI