The following comment is more of a reflective piece and also a reflection on Kasabi's "funnel" comment. Before I delve into it, here's kasabi's original comment to me:
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You're shotgunning instead of funneling.
Shotgun:
1. You want vagina.
2. You read up 100 different "pu" exercises.
3. You practice 100 different exercises on 100 different girls, and you do it 100 different ways.
Funnel:
1. In your life, there are hundreds of different girls in hundreds of situations.
2. Your conversation with them can begin any which way.
3. You progressively narrow the conversation down to a second meeting.
4. You go out with one.
5. You get vagina.
The key thing being that I am scattered in too many directions with too many different techniques. Solution? Get focused. I will hone in on one technique, and from my own interpretation of his words, one type of girl. This is helping to guide me to my goal faster. “Hone in” is the key.
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Scratch off all those "PU challenges" from your schedule. You've done them. You now know the World isn't going to end when you converse with a woman. Conversing with 100 girls isn't the goal. Attempting to make out with 100 isn't the goal. Getting a date and spending time with a girl, one at a time . . . this is the goal.
This is the inspiration for part II of this journal. In it is another simple task similar to the one that I focused on previously. The main goal to improve the quality of my interactions and secure a date.
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A few thoughts on what you've written thus far.
"Pouncing"
Imagine that you've signed up for a lecture on Accounting Law and the speaker starts off with accounting fundamentals . . . then, instead continuing with the main topic, he starts telling jokes for the remaining 30 minutes of the lecture. Now . . . you might like stand-up comedy more than Accounting Law but you'd still go, "WTF?"
Girls might like to kiss more than chatting about the weather but if you suddenly stop chatting about the weather pouncing the, "Let's kiss," they're going to think "WTF"? There's something disingenuous about this. It's as if to say, "I don't give a fuck about everything we've been chatting about for 20 minutes, let's just kiss. No? I don't care, I'm outta here."
Stay on topic and build attraction based on the original subject at hand.
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“Don’t play like that you know what we both want.”
How did you think she'd respond? "You know, you're absolutely right. I'm just playing! Yeah, because I know what we both really want!" (Imagine she's curling her eyebrows up and down and mimicking her hand as if she's stuffing cock in her mouth.) "You want some of this? Me too! Take your shorts off because it's your lucky day!"
1. Getting a girl to SAY ^this is not the goal. So do not ask any questions or make a statement where the positive reaction is ^this and the negative answer is, "you're an idiot." - This is a lose, lose.
2. You're reaching for 'green light permission' because you know it's not there. If you knew you did everything smoothly, you'd treat her as she was married to you for 2 years.
I will treat women like I already know them and already had sex with them. I don’t base moves on reaction seeking behavior. This makes me more confident around women and in term more women are more attracted to me.
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So the way to 'do everything smoothly' is to stop playing the "PU challenges" and start interacting with women. You're a public speaker and a poet. If so, utilize these skills and stick to your strengths. Thus far, you've been either pouncing the 'big question' and treating the male-female encounter as a joke. You're a public speaker. You're a poet. There is no excuse for you to treat women like a number. You're already thinking about #27 while you're working on #6. Start setting up dates. . . this is what normal people in the normal World do when they meet people of the opposite sex that interest them.
However, "normal people" rely on chance for attraction. Somebody they mutually know 'introduces' them. They somehow have similar backgrounds. They have similar goals in life. Etc . . . Hell, even some of the self acclaimed 'masters of pick up' in this forum won't bother opening a girl until their imaginary attracto-meter registers a 'green light'. Here is what should separate you from the average guy. YOU ARE A SPEAKER. YOU ARE A POET. If so, let your poetry flow. Why the hell do you think those old dudes bothered putting all that energy into puzzling a few words together in the first place? It's because what they FELT about the WOMAN standing before them was simply too magnificent to express with mere conversation. (Then they figured out all the needed to do was repeat that process WITH ANY GIRL in order to get laid) - Think about this means for you.
Bring out my skills and talents. Let those things shine through, and allow the light to seep through cracks on the wall. That is what this mostly screams to me, bring out my innate skills.
Based on his comment and my own analysis from today (which was inspired by a girl who I was talking to today) I realize something very profound about myself. I realize that I do not have many female "friends". I view every woman who is somewhat "attractive" as someone in which I can have sex with. While this is certainly not a bad thing, it can be quite a distraction. Consequently, the relationships I form with women tend to develop haphazardly. All women are on the menu. And while this may be a good thing in certain respects, it is blocking the flow of my success in the sense that it does not help me to build healthy relationships with women. Both in regards to friendships and in regards to sexual relationships.
I originally developed this habit early on when I started to game women. In the past my focus was on the missed oppurtunities with women I viewed as friends. Often these opportunities came at the cost of me being negligent of these women’s' attraction towards me. My personal resolution was to 'never' let this happen again, and ever since I formed a quite destructive habit of viewing all women as potential sexual partners regardless of my own sexual and romantic preferences. I realize that this is a negative mentality based behavior and it will cease at this moment.
That is why I need to do a few things:
1.) List out specific qualities that I find attractive in a woman and pursue that.
2.) Build friendships with certain women and have a "sex off limits" type relationships with them.
3.) Establish a set of values and boundaries that I live by and help to shape my focus.
Secondly I've been wasting a lot of time pursuing women who are "socially acceptable" aka hot, but not women that I am sexually attracted to. As a consequence I have been channeling energy into a lot of futile efforts. I now resolve to create a list of qualities which I deem attractive. It will not eliminate all women, but it will help me to maintain focus on the women I desire to pursue.
I do believe that porn changed my perceptions of women and made me very disinterested in women I would've once been interested in. Now, when I view porn, I view it for uniqueness, difference, and today this is the same trait I look for in women. I am not very attracted to the standard notion of beauty. And to be quite frank, I often don't have much sexual interest in the women I approach. So I figured I'd cut out all the ego validation bull shit and actually get some women that I wanna fuck their brains out.
I think of all can be said and done then my most favorite physical traits in a woman are:
1.) nice juicy ass
2.) a nice pair of mother bearing hips;
3.) a unique facial structure (some may call these women "ugs", I think they are hot);
4.) a fairly large set of breasts (though this can be option and vary from girl to girl);
5.) a little extra weight (yes, you heard me say it, "extra weight"), not obese, but not skinny either, skinny girls aren't my thing;
6.) sometimes, but not always, stomachs (I'm very particular about this one)
7.) and also sometimes but not always older women
There are the key features I find attractive in a woman, this is not always, but often I find myself looking at these women in public and going home and profusely jacking off to them instead of talking to them.
Sexual qualities:
1.) Women who are into having a lot of sex
2.) Women who are really into giving oral sex
3.) Women who are really into having group sex
4.) Bisexual or Pansexual Women
5.) Women who are really into receiving double penetration
6.) Women who are into the idea of group pairings instead of traditional two person monogamous relationships
7.) Women who like to Swallow
8.) Women who are into sex games
9.) Women who are into receiving anal
10.) Women who are into tit fucking
11.) Women who are into ass play
Yeps, i'm a kink.
I now realize how counterproductive gaming in this nature is. It not only prohibits sexual desire, but it freezes any chances of sexual attraction. There is then an “over” emphasis on emotional attraction, and subsequently trying “force” yourself into sexually liking a woman you have little or no interest in. My new motto is to always go for the women you masturbate to. Why should I keep masturbating to them when I could be having sex with them?
No more chasing after girls based on validation. I now only pursue women based on how much I want to have sex with her. I realize now that I am like our cave man ancestors, a sexual who dog who likes women who look like they can pop out lots of babies. I'm not definately not ashamed of this, infact I'm proud. This is a first crucial step in understanding my sexual identity.
Later I will put the emotional, mental, and social qualities I look for in a woman. This helps me to seek out certain women that I am attracted to, while also helping me to weed out women and become selective. In term, I am more able to categorize women and put more women in the realm of friendship. These two things are helping me in my quest to sleep with more attractive women.
And finally, I will also state the qualities that I look for in friends (both men and women). This way I am building a personally beneficiary social circle that is not only going to help me get more women, but is also going to bring me lots of love and positive energy. In other words I am listing the things I want to surround my self by. This is definately a transformation from my current position and a step in the best direction.
CHAT