| It's been over a year since I've posted anything on here, so I have decided I will begin with one on my most recent, fun experiences in the field.
I had been at the beach all day with friends. By the time I had gotten back into town, I was beat red and completely obliterated drunk. One of my close buddies that I went to the beach with joined me for drinks at a bar where I got cut off after one drink for being too challenging with the bartender. I have no idea what exactly I said to her, but she was pretty and had very nice, wavy blonde hair that danced across her shoulders. I left my number on my receipt with a small note that read, "-my name-, the asshole," or something along those lines and left. I never did hear from her.
Then me and my buddy went somewhere else to drink. There was hardly anyone there. However, at the bar I noticed a very sexy brunette with curvy features sitting with an asian guy who was smaller than her. I always get confused when I see smaller guys with larger women. We sat next to them, but I didn't engage them. Me and my buddy just experimented with the beers they had on tap.
Later on, I went to the hallway where the men's restroom was to text for a second. Why I felt I had to go there to do this, I don't know. A few minutes pass and the brunette comes walking into the hallway. She stood their glancing around the hallway looking befuddled. Apparently she couldn't find the women's restroom. It was only then that I realized only one of the three doors in the hallway were labeled and it was the men's restroom. Prank plotted! I immediately directed her into one of the two other doors. She looked at me quizzically. "Are you sure?" I legitimately did not know where the woman's restroom was, but I reassured her. She pushed into the door and inside was a storage closet. She came back out and was like, "Hey, you jerk! That's a closet!" I laughed. She smiled. She is playful. I like this girl. She runs off to find out where the women's restroom really is.
Once we all settled back down at the bar, I opened her and Short Round. We talked a bit about the guy dressed up as the Joker who shot up the theater in Colorado at the premiere of SPAM: The Dark Knight Rises. I also played the 3 Coins game with the girl. She loved it. They were cool. No information was exchanged.
My buddy went home after this and I went to go grab something to eat at a 24 hour Greek restaurant I am obsessed with, but saw a bar I had always wanted to try across the street. I had one hour until 2 AM. So, I thought, what the heck, I'll grab a quick one and be on my way to solving my hunger pangs.
I walk into this seedy, dive bar with no expectations, drunk as could be. Mustering up all of my strength to maintain my composure, I make it to the bar and sit down. I glance around and a gorgeous blonde catches my eye two seats beside me. She is sitting alone and wearing a funny looking hat. I comment on it. She stares at me strangely. I can't read her expressions.
Suddenly, a pretty brunette girl comes over and starts talking to the blonde. I notice she too is wearing a funny hat and exchanges it with the one the blonde is wearing. Interesting. I wonder how they know each other, but I am too drunk to inquire. I order my beer.
-memory deleted-
The brunette is gone and I am now deep into conversation with the blonde. Somehow, I have managed to successfully instigate a role-playing scenario where she is my ex-wife and we both bicker back and forth about who's fault it was that our marriage failed. A guy sees how animated our conversation is and joins us, but is confused, because he can't tell if we really were married or not. The brunette returns, as if she had materialized out of thin air. She offers to be the godmother of our children.
This is getting to be an overload, but to hell with it! Roll with the punches! The brunette grabs the blonde's hand as well as mine and makes all three of us hold hands together. We do this for a good minute or so. The blonde pulls her hand away, but the brunette does not. We continue to hold hands at the bar for a good 5 minutes. Eventually, she pulls her hand away away as well.
The last few things I remember are talking with everyone at the bar like I owned the place and then out of no where the blonde suggests I walk her to her car.
Is this really happening? I came in with no expectations and within one hour I'm leaving with this hot girl? I dismiss the cloud of confusion hanging over me and take action.
So, here I am, fumbling across the street behind this blonde girl to walk her to her car and all I can do is stare at her ass. You see, I can't resist attractive women who wear tight spandex pants that show off their curves. It's an instant turn-on for me. She is wearing these. I am very happy.
We get to her car and she says what I've heard from many girls before at this juncture, "You do this a lot, don't you? You pick up a lot of girls at bars, huh?" I answer as neutral as I can in my inebriated state, "I just go out to have fun and meet people. Whatever happens, happens." Next thing I know, we're having amazing sex in her car and all she keeps saying is how damn cute I am.
Afterward, I find out she's only in town a for a few more days until she returns to her state of residence where she bartends at Coyote Ugly.
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CHAT