Back in November, I met a girl in social situations. There seemed to be mutual interest there. I was just learning about game at the time and fumbled my way around. We had one coffee date, which was fun and friendly, but didn't result in kino or any kind of closing. I was trying to be calm about everything, but unfortunately this turned into a oneitis for me that has lasted in varying degrees until now. This past weekend is basically the end of my pursuit. I ran into a couple times randomly and they were both a bit awkward. Since she is in my circle and we wind up at events and bars at the same time with frequency, I knew this would keep happening. I elected to do something low value and sent her a message on FB. I told her I wanted to clear the air, that I liked her, but realize she doesn't return the feelings. I said I hope that we can continue to be friends now that it's in the open. Her response was very nice and seemed genuine. Basically said she is not good at confrontation and was trying to avoid hurt feelings.

There is much more to this story, obviously, but I'm trying to focus on what I learned from this 9 month oneitis situation.

1. Sometimes you chase the wrong girl. What I mean by this is that while I was attracted to her personality and her looks, we frankly don't have the same interests and living styles. The synergy was just never there, even though I felt like we both tried for it to materialize because of mutual attraction based on personality alone.

2. Overthinking is death. I analyzed every message, every text, every interaction, and just couldn't let it ride. If I had been more casual and had stopped over thinking everything, things may have at least been less of an awkward roller coaster.

3. Sometimes, girls are just very nice. This one is for sure. Even though she could tell my feelings, she still felt friendship for me. I wasn't the creeper or the guy she immediately wanted to get away from. But this was a trap, too. Every time she was friendly to me, I thought it was a new opportunity. But the reality was that she had ample opportunity to get with me and she didn't. That alone should have told me what was going on in the later stages.

4. Speaking of stages, the early stage of this, before I started analyzing it all against game, was easier and more natural. Not that I felt like I had natural game, but I got a date with her without really strategizing it. That basically tells me that I need to let things flow more naturally and strategizing is terrible for interaction.

These are just some thoughts I had this morning while considering the official end of this pursuit. My low value admission to her... basically gives me no other choice but to stop. Of course, in the back of my head, a tiny voice is telling me "you never know, this might actually turn things around. you kind of friend zoned her, she will start to miss the attention and reconsider." I'm trying to ignore that voice, even though it is quite a possibility given the way that girls deal with attention and the absence of it.

I would love to hear some thoughts on the points I made. They may not be true or even new, but I'm trying to find the lessons learned here. Thanks.