disclaimer: what follows is the report of my sarge of an unattractive coworker at a company party. this report contains no lewd lascivious details. there are no kisses. no numbers. no closes whatsoever. I am in an exclusive LTR. I went into the sarge for fun, without any intention of closing the target. I willingly chose a girl I was not attracted to. I would say this is good material for absolute beginners, as it is mostly canned stuff and basic concepts. use at your own risk.
I was at a company party last Friday. I opened HBchinese with a situational opener
"Hey are you the girl who I saw doing X the other day?"
"Yeah I am. Hi my name is Ivy" (IOI)
"Hi, my name is Seagull. So how are you?"
some random banter here, made her laugh a few times
I acted like I could not hear her, so I moved my face closer to hers and looked into her eyes. She blushed. I had her move to a different location in the room (compliance testing)
I asked her how long she had worked for the company and she said 5 years and that it was her third job
"Oh, wow, you started to work so early. You look like you're 22. I am much older"
and she laughed "oh thanks it's so sweet"
at this point she started twisting her hair and touching her lips (both IOIs - I was at 3)
I told her about how I live in a fancier city in the Bay and how I drive all around, and that I had a party in SF later that day (DHV - conveying an interesting life-style)
Then I set a time constraint (a true one): that I was meant to go catch the shuttle to the city in half an hour. I told her she should come back to the office with me. She was like "I need to check with my coworker." Me: "Ok I will see you around in 10 minutes then" and then went my own way
5 minutes later I see where she is, I go towards her acting as if it was casual and I bump into her.
Me: "Oh, here you are. Will you stop chasing me? It's stalkerish of you" (changing the frame - she is a stalker)
She laughed: "Yeah it's bad. Sorry"
Me: "Oh, it's good. You are hitting on me. It's so blatant. It's cool ahahah"
At this point, she was very ready to be isolated and walked away with me back to the office
On the road back she started qualifying, saying how she has trouble with English (she does indeed!) and hence she comes off as boring, which in Chinese she is not. Me: "Oh well you're boring. Now I know not to hang out with you. Fine. I will let you chase me a while longer and then leave."
She: "Oh no, no, you're such a nice guy." (I disallow my GF from ever calling me "nice guy", but I was not going to argue with that now) and she kept repeating how I was very nice like 50 times
all the while I was slightly kinoing her. nothing heavy. just light touches on head, shoulders, arms.
She told me how in Chinese culture usually the older girl takes care of the younger guy and so I asked in a low sensual voice "yeah how are you going to take care of me?" and she was super-blushing.
"I have an idea" I said and I patted her head. so we started a race in the hallway. and then she was totally embarrassed and she was all like "I gotta go back to the office. bye. I gotta go. bye". I knew I could k-close at that point, but instead I just patted her shoulder, and laughed her off "bye see ya around"
CHAT
