Last night I went out to a local club that I am a big fan of. Since my dance game is still...shitty, I prefer going on weeknights when the dance floor isn't even open. Talking's my game. I walk in and am reminded how much of an alcholic I am as the bartenders ask what I'm having, then list the drinks I'd had the week before (yep, I'm a regular). I notice a Blonde sitting next to me watching the basketball game on tv, side note: fuck you Thunder, how could you lose a 17 point lead in the first half. I chat her up a bit, but will leave the details out. Basically, she was being polite and nice, but I could sense that she wasn't going to be too engaging. I told her it was a pleasure and to have a safe night, and walked away. Then the bar starts to fill up.

There are options. Two stunners are working at the door for a promotion the club is having. I realize I will be the thirtieth man, minimum, to hit on them so I look around a bit more from my spot. A few hotties are talking to a group of dudes by the DJ's table, but the first girl I opened told me they were the ones sponsoring the promotion. I do not yet have the confidence in my game to handle guys that will immediately have a status edge.

Then I notice what may be the best opportunity. Two short blondes, both very fuckable, are chatting and drinking. They will be HBAss and HBGlasses, and I will assume you can figure out why I chose those monackers. There are guys standing next to them, but not really paying any attention. This either meant they had been blown out and the girls are bitches, or that the guys hadn't bothered with them at all. I prefer to assume the latter since it helps my cause. I walk up to them, realize both are cute, and open simply:

Me "Hi, I'm DJ"
Her "Hey, I'm HBGlasses"
Me "I just thought you're cute, so I wanted to introduce myself"

She lights up a bit...then it dies down some.

Her "Oh wow, I'm sorry, you look just like a guy I work with"
Alright, I will have some fun with this
Me "Well...I'm sorry to disappoint"

Now I am a sucker for a girl with glasses, but peripheral vision rocks, as it allows me to see HBAss is checking me out the whole time. She never gives her girlfriend a second glance, she could have been on fire, This girl with a glorious booty would have been unaware. So a quick transition...

Me "Hi, DJ"
Her "Heyyy, I have an amazing ass, and I'd like you to stick your dick in it" Okay...may have some creative license going here, not gonna lie.

Small talk ensues, nothing of major importance, except we find out we actually went to the same high school.

Her "You don't look familiar, though. How far ahead of me did you graduate? '02? '01?"

For the record, I am only 24. So with some quick math, kids, I reveal I graduated in 2006 from high school. This is where things get hilarious and a little annoying.

Her "Oh my god, this is crazy, you're like a babyyyyy."
Me "Okay. I think I'm going to get another drink, would you like one, too?"

Oh yeah, I'm not taking the bait. I buy a round, vodka tonics, and am actually impressed she chose a solid drink instead of some childish blueberry vodka with cranberry and lemonade or some similar BS that women buy because they can't just drink liquor.

Me "An adult drink, I am so proud" aaaaaaaaaand claw.

Words do not matter much at this point. Once the claw is locked in and she doesn't resist, it's just rapid escalation. She's still talking about fucking high school while my hand grabs her ass.

Her "Whoa...are you actually grabbing my ass right now?"
Me "It's pretty nice."
Her "Hell yeah it is"

Oh this is great. I love when everything goes smoothly and you build momentum just in one set. BEAST MODE FOR THE WIN! Still, she's playing coy as I get close enough to kiss her, and it takes 3-4 tries before she comes in for the quick makeout. Yes, quick, I have learned at this point that a ten second tongue swap will lead to trouble. We then dance, make out, and grope eachother in a corner of the bar for the next 10-15 minutes. Every so often I take her hand and start to lead her out the door only to hear something along the lines of

"Noooooo"
"I have work in the morniiiinnnnnnnng"
"We just met, stop it"

That being said, she's saying this with her hand on a massive boner that she can't stop looking at for more than five seconds. I am able to get her out of the club, but she still refuses to come back with me. Hell, she doesn't even want me to go back to her place. Not sure what I could have done to get around this, and this is where input is most appreciated!!!!

We fool around a bit outside her car, and she starts to tell me how she has a date tomorrow. I just say "Okay" once again and keep playing with her ass. She then immediately tells me how she has no desire to sleep with the guy, and how hot it is that I am just going after what I want. She invites me to another bar for Thursday night, but adds "we won't be hooking up then, either." Now, honestly? I believe this is complete BS.

Going direct and sexual worked very well. But I'm wondering if I should use some plausible deniability tomorrow night to get her back to my place. I could say we can go back to my apartment to watch a movie, let me mix up some drinks myself, hell we could play wii bowling. Or is there a better way to go about it? Also, she has mentioned that a guy will be seeing her at the bar tomorrow that she has no interest in, so hopefully this isn't a case of her wanting extra male attention. Either way, I have three other girls I've met throughout the last week I'm in touch with, but I have gone two years without sex. This is the best lead, and I'd like to know some strategies to help me close the deal tomorrow.

Help is appreciated, have a good night and stay safe, everyone!

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These hos ain't loyal