I am posting an update on my status with all of these girls and my "game" (which I would consider both my skill set and "value" as a potential suitor for females).
I am working on a few things right now that will drastically improve my life. Step One is really to gain financial independence. I am 22 and living with my parents. I just decided college wasn't for me and that I would make a better entrepreneur then employee. I am very close to having this business take off and real money start flowing in that will allow me to get my own place. That is pretty exciting.
Expanding and strengthening my social circle has been another major focus of mine. This includes friends and girlfriends. Throughout the past three years I have been hit with three major bouts of depression that shook up my entire life each time. I alienated myself from every friend I had each time and bullshitted all of them as to what the problem was. The reason for the ups and downs were that I would go on anti-anxiety/depressant drugs and then try to go off of them. I have finally accepted that I need these drugs to function. This is liberating because I am nearly certain that I don’t have to worry about falling back again.
Since summer has let out, many of my friends that go to local colleges are back in their hometowns. They have nearly all graduated too so they are not coming back. My social circles have basically been cut in half right now so I have a lot to do in terms of expanding and strengthening that again.
Here is the status of the girls I have been talking to that I listed before:
Bartender: I have concluded that I came on too hard to her at the bar that one night so she said she had a boyfriend. Although she gave me her number and I know it is right she did not respond to the text I sent. I don’t think she is worth pursuing anymore and I’m sick of even thinking about her.
Plenty of Fish 1: We have talked over the phone and had a great connection and vibe. I thought I definitely had her in the bag. I have tried to hang out with her multiple times and it has been impossible to do. From my experience people get really cold feet when you are actually about to hang out with a stranger from online. I am attributing it being so difficult to that. I told her that I’m basically taking her not making an effort to hang out as her not wanting to. She says she’s been busy. I don’t give a shit and am not wasting any more time with her unless she specifically asks me to hang out.
Plenty of Fish 2: This girl swears that she wants to hang out but her two jobs make it impossible. She says she is very interested but doesn’t try to contact me at all. This situation is basically the same as the other one.
Singer: I hung out with this girl and her friend at her pool in her condo complex. She is a very independent girl with a very dominant personality. I am not really attracted to girls like that so I want to be friends with her more then date her. Her friends are also a lot hotter then her so I want to pursue them. We planned to go out together that night and pregame in her condo. One of my good friends is talking to one of her other friends so we had my friend and I and then a bunch of her friends up in her condo. She has many friends in her condo complex so these randoms were coming in and out that she was attending too. I liked shooting the shit with her friends and flirting with them outside so I continued to do that. I think it pissed her off and so does my friend (who is much better with women then I). She seems like the type of girl who thinks she is too good to come on to a guy and they should come on to her. I wasnt about to do that so we basically seem incompatible. She has been basically impossible to contact after this (although she is already very hard). She says she is not pissed but “busy”. I call bullshit. Im sick of wasting my time with her too if shes going to be this much of a pain in the ass.
Singer’s Friend: This is a new girl and one that I met this night. This girl was into me from the get go and was the girl that I was flirting with instead of the other. I was texting her the next day and we both wanted to hang out with eachother. I asked her and her other friend (who is the girl above) to come hang out in my hot tub with my friend and their friend that he is talking to. She said she didn’t want to and she wanted me to hang out with her. I countered with basically telling her to come hang out with us if she wants to hang out and that her friend is there. She said no. I tried to talk to her to understand why as it seemed very weird and I couldn’t understand the logic. She would not respond. I texted her two days later. She did not respond. Fuck her if she is going to be like that. I’m guessing both girls decided that they should just both ditch me or something and got jealous that I was talking to both of them. I had the frame of just being friends with everyone (or at least I was trying to). I probably should not have prioritized the singer’s friend over her so quickly. I’m not sure. They confuse me and I don’t want to think about it anymore.
My college town:
Raver: This was talking about coming over and saying how she couldn’t believe I didn’t have a girlfriend and how hot she thinks I am. She basically said in text that she wants to have kinky sex with me. Shes not really showing interest in driving over anymore. I basically expected this. Im done with this one too.
Old Friend: Shes still in college town and not coming back for summer. Im done with her either way as she is too difficult.
Synopsis: I am in a terrible position of having basically no girls I am talking to. I refuse to fuck the pussy that wants me as not only am I not attracted to it, but it would be straight up embarrassing if anyone knew I was doing it. Id rather fuck my pillow watching porn.
I have “nexted” every girl I have been talking to and refuse to try any more for these girls. It is degrading to my self esteem to put myself out there anymore to get rejected. If they cant see the value in me then im either not conveying it right or they are retarded girls. I would put my money on the former but fuck them either way.
Here is a recent post I have made in response to some comments about me being a “douche bag” from girls. I want to improve my character for my social skills in general, not picking up girls. Not many people that have responded to this thread really understood that part. I want to be very clear about that here though. If I am displaying douche bag qualities, I want to continue to put effort into humbling myself to build my overall character.
Here is the thread :
i-am-a-douche-bag-vt136219.html