I have been reading about game for about 2 years now, but a recent event has led me to actually putting my research into action. I feel that having a good PUA Journal will help me in my journey for a number of reasons.

-It documents my encounters
-Others can comment on my experiences
-It helps Pick up become more routine
-And I feel like I could help others

I would like to use this first post to describe myself a bit. I will continue to update this journal, and reveal more information about myself and my past as I remember.

I am 26 years old. I was born in Toronto, and have lived here my whole life pretty much. I am Jewish, although not raised religious and don't believe in it. I am 5'7'', so fairly short, and slightly overweight with a medium build. I would rate my looks at maybe 6.5, I am above average looking, but not noticeably.

I have several good qualities, and several bad. My strengths are mainly my intelligence. I skipped grade 7, and was in finished high school math before I got to highschool. However my marks slipped a little in high school, and I dropped out of University.

I am a good speaker, and come off as very honest. I am kind, but this may not help in pick up. I have lots of friends, and I am very close with many of them. I have experienced a lot in life. I have travelled many places, and I am adventurous and independent. I am open minded and fun.

My weaknesses are common as well. I get mad easily. I take things too seriously. My feelings can be hurt easily, especially by women. I overanalyze social situations, especially with women. I can be lazy. I have been unemployed for a long time.

In Pick up, my weaknesses are mainly, lack of confidence, inexperience, and approach anxiety. And although I can maintain conversations with total strangers easi;y, I have a hard time if it is a women I am attracted to. I appear nervous talking during approach, and have never really succeded.

I have had a difficult past with women, and have some hang ups. I feel very bitter towards women, and sometimes want to learn PU just to exact revenge. I am having a hard time excepting a failed past with women. I am also horny and desparate. I masturbate way to frequently, and I need to work on that.

My past experience with women is scattered. I had limited sexual encounters before 18. Afterwards, sexual contact occured mainly with random fat chicks at parties, or hooking up with a friend of a friend. Very little sex too, mainly blowjobs. Also very inconsistent with large gaps. After University, hooking up became rare. After a 2 year completely dry spell, I started dating a girl I met on JDate. She was fat, and desperate. It took me 3 months to fuck her.

After I broke up with her I felt hopeless. Went to Israel for a few months. Eventually hooked up with a HB6.5 from Denmark. She stayed with me in Toronto for the summer. I didn't want her to stay so long, but I was an AFC getting laid. She told me she loved me, and we continued a long distance relationship for 18 months, seeing eachother maybe a collective 4 months out of it. I broke up with her because I started feeling pathetic.

I have been improving my fitness significantly over the past 6 months. I have lost 9 pounds, and put on about 6 pounds of muscle. I feel more confident, and happy moving forward. I really enjoy working out, and want to gain 10 more pounds of muscle, lose 20 of fat, and maybe bench 200.

Things I need to focus on

-Getting over the past
-Accepting Rejection
-Decrease Masturbation substantially
-stop being the nice guy
-learn to dance
-Get pver nervousness about approach
-Stop "feeling" desperate
-Learn tactics for convo,kino, escalating

I look forward to future posts, and field reports.