Last night I'm in a group conversation trying to DHV, and one of the guys in the group brings up what I euphemistically call an instance of professional failure on my part, which pretty much knocks my train of thought off the rails.

What's better to recover my standing in this case? Calling him out on being a douche? Changing the topic? Something else?

Thanks, gentlemen.

Describe the scenario more.

_________________
"That shit cray"

-Hit me up with some Reps if anything I say has helped! Much love.

Four people in the group. One of them is a guy I've worked with. It's not really a pick-up situation, but I figured I'd practice some DHV, and there was girl there.

I'm finishing up a thread, and my coworker brings up a project I dropped the ball on two years ago, straight out of the blue. I knew my value was compromised, but I'd never been in the situation of someone so explicitly cutting my legs out from under me. I owned up to it, but I didn't know whether to call him out on bringing it up, off topic, or to just ignore him and start another thread.

TLDR Is is better to confront or sidestep and AMOG?

Ouch. Hard blow. In this scenario, I would have done:

Amog: Remember that time you dropped the ball on the project.
You: Haha, yeah, that was quite the learning experience. Long story short, don't try to play god or (something in this matter). But the past is in the past, you know what i've been doing recently (change direction completely).

And if they continue to bring up the situation, then they will look like an asshole. Don't get angry though. Just clearly stand your ground.

"I'm confused, why do you keep refering to my past? Are you like in love with me or something bro? I'm flattered but I'm not interested."

Then continue on.

_________________
"That shit cray"

-Hit me up with some Reps if anything I say has helped! Much love.

This line is excellent. Thank you for the help! Next time I encounter this situation I'll stick to the high road like you suggest.

I would have confronted him and told him fuck you! and then brought up something 10 times more embarassing about him. Homey dont play that shit.

[b]But protect yourself at all times[/b]. You should always have a feel for the people in your group and know whether they would do something like this intentionally or unintentionally.

you are missing the point, if you confront or sidestep is not what is important, it is not about agressive or passive, it is about your level of emotional control, and who is more proactive/dominant, the person with the strongest frame of mind, is the strongest mentally, and the mentally strong tend to have good social skills

what your social intuition is telling you when you have a clear mind, is most likely the most congruent best solution for your problem, but the important point is that this solution has come through clear thought, unmotivated by an emotional reaction

you can do anything from completely ignoring little cheap shots just like they are a girl's shit test's or proactively get into a giant pissing contest, what is most important is simply how well you can remain in control of yourself, if you feel shaken, insecure, or angry or any other sort of reaction, chances are what is about to happen next is going to be the result of an emotional reaction, learn to control your emotions

also, even though it is not so much an issue of passive vs agressive, you only get treated by other people how you let them treat you, this is not to say become an asshole, but being proactive and assertive can go a long way, if someone says one negative thing, no big deal, but if someone is routinely mistreating you, you have to break their negative pattern and force a new one, either that or stop putting yourself in a position where you are interacting with that person