Sorry this is long. I like to provide detail to let the people know whats going on around me, what the perspective is from others, and provide background as to possible sources of attraction.


So last night my fraternity had a pretty big party for one of the biggest weeks of the year here at my college.

State: Felt horrible, had been drinking for the past 2 days pretty much non-stop because this week is INSANE! I sucked it up and drank some tonight so that I didnt feel the hangover as much.

Party: For the first couple hours I chilled with one of my friends (who always follows me around constantly, sort of annoying). Were in the kitchen most of the time away from the bar and dance floor. However, this area has more traffic and I'm not really approaching a lot of ppl at this point. Im just kicking back against the counter talking to people there and making small talk with people that pass. Afterwards we saw these two guys we usually play beer pong against, its always a fun game with them. We play 3 games against them and it gets crazy, were making a huge scene haha. Every cup made theres a huge commotion from that team.

Afterwards I decide to take some shots, I talk to this black girl who was probably a 4 (not attracted to other races typically). We chat and are kinoing constantly.

Main report (brunette HB7): I see a girl with goldfish and I go up and say "I want some goldfish" I grab some without waiting for a reply and we start talking. I tell her my name, then I switch my name to something else and say its really that (it was the first one). I'm constantly bringing girls i know and my friends over and asking them my name. I mouthed it was the fake name, so almost every person went along with it. Were having fun and kinoing a lot. Holding hands and hugging constantly. Were talking really close to each other's mouths since we were on the edge of the dance room with loud music. I'm always building the tension looking deep into her eyes and then mouth. However, I never kiss closed. I felt AWKWARD doing it on the stair well were people are always going up and down from the kitchen to dance/bar room. I wanted to isolate her but didn't think she would leave her friend too far away who (later I learned this) was already making out with my friend on the dancefloor. We talk more and I start to mention lets play beer pong. I start to lead then get caught up with someone and she starts leading me over. We end up never playing because I wanted to go upstairs to the bathroom. Two people were in the room next to it so I decided not to go in with her.

Fast forward: End of party were waiting for a ride with her friend and the guy she was hooking up with. I don't want to take the same ride because I know i'll end up sitting front seat as they all sit backseat together, isolating myself. I tell them ill stay behind making sure everyone else gets a ride before me. Then a girl i know tells me she needs me to tie a bowtie. She grabs my hand in front of the group and leads me upstairs (looks very sexual if you didn't know what was going on). I come back down by myself 5mins later because the room we went to was packed. I tried my hardest not to get in the ride but ended up having to because no one was picking up on it.

End of night.
No NC (couldve but i NEVER remember to)
No KC (probably couldve)
No FC (no way that wouldve happened, girls never separated once it came time to leave)

I think you pretty much answered all your own questions with the "would/could/should." You were there. She probably thought you were a good option (at least AN option) at some point during the night. Mainly, what pops out to me, is the stairwell situation. Who cares who is watching? I never think about that because nothing else really matters. How often do you see couples lip-locked in the middle of a frat party? All the time. It happens at my fraternity, the ones down the street and every other fraternity in the United States. No one cares. Everyone is trying to get laid. If you're doing it right, it's like you're the only two in the room and you're just talking talking talking...and then feeling one another up a little bit ... then kissing... then going up to your room. It's funny how women forget about their friends when the opportunity for sex pops up. You had it, man. You had it. Just CLOSE!

Thanks for the quick reply man. I'm a virgin and Although yea i am trying to get laid, it's not a big deal to me. Also, it was actually at a live out house I don't live at, so i dont think the logistics were really there. I was trying to see what my friend (who lives with me) was doing with her friend because they know each other very well and hooked up a lot in the past. He said he wasn't taking her back (not sure who's decision hers or his) so I figured it probably wouldnt happen with mine. Maybe they were doing it just because they didnt know she was gonna meet me?

Thanks for the advice, I've known i have a problem with being self conscious and worrying about what other people think and i HATE it. I need to live more in the moment and live like nobody is watching.

Hey man, I understand what you're going through. We were all virgins once, and well, it's not a big deal.

If you're just starting out, then focus on your inner game. Figure out how to get into "state." QUICK SIDE NOTE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT STATE IS SKIP THIS: Imagine that time when you've just accomplished something great. You forget all other things around you and might fist pump, cheer, laugh, etc. You have the biggest smile on and nothing matters. You're just you, and proud of it. That's state.

My buddy used to snap his fingers to songs that put him in a good mood and trained himself to associate that good feeling with snapping his fingers. Quite clever, really. He could then walk into a party and start snapping to whatever song and immediately be back in that emotional realm. He put himself into state on command.

Concentrate on being you, first, and then when you're cool with your identity and portraying it, figure out the most effective ways to portray it. There are right and wrong ways to do things, and you can treat it like a science if you must. Trial and error. Did it work? No? Then try a different way. There's plenty of advice here and if need be, feel free to ask myself or any others questions. It's a pretty helpful community in general, and we all want the success stories! Plus, who doesn't love to give advice on pick-up if they've got a piece to say?

In short, I'm a bit confused as to what you're talking about and even if I did understand what you were trying to describe, I guarantee that it DOES NOT MATTER. When you start worrying about logistics and social situations that aren't A/B where A is you and B is her, then you're focusing on the wrong things. You just need to sexualize her and make her realize what you want. Be confident, be assertive, be tactful and be awesome. You can do it, and no one else's problems or actions matter!

It wasn't so much a state problem. I'm a very optimistic guy and i absolutely love dance music and all that. I was just literally out of energy. The night before I got 4 hrs sleep, all this in between drinking a lot. That day I had a lot of energy drinks to keep me awake for an important event in the afternoon and by that night I was tweaking out hardcore haha.

I physically felt horrible, but I was still there trying to have as much fun as possible. I ended up feeling better after I was there for a bit and thats when my success kicked in.

Sorry for assuming! Yeah, man. Get some sleep. I mean, your personal health is just as important when gaming women as with any other thing. You can't take an exam on zero sleep, and you can't be 100% on top of your game if you're exhausted!

Great comparison, it really did affect my energy level a lot!