St Patricks day is my second favorite drinking holiday of the year. This year I went to downtown St. Paul where 7th street was blocked off by the Excell Center. I was alone at the time because I just wanted to go to one bar on my way home from Eden Prairie. Since it was $15 to park, I decided to stay for a while.

The street has bars on both sides. People were walking around the streets while drinking right in front of the police. It looked like Mardi Gras only everyone was dressed in green. I'm guessing there was around 15 to 20 thousand people all crammed into a 6 block span. Everyone was drunk as hell too. This was the most target rich environment I ever saw yet.

I went to an Irish pub and saw people stacked 3 deep the length of all 6 of their bars. I saw one girl hesitating about her order.

SK:MILLER LITE!!!!!

bartender ignored slow bitch and immediately got me a beer. Approximately 30 people gave me dirty looks for budgeing. Ha. I went out to the street to smoke. I approach a 3 set with 2 sitting on the curb.

SK: I just need someone to entertain me while I smoke.
HB: Sorry, my friends are busy texting.
SK: Did you guys see the parade?
HB: No, we were running the 7k marathon earlier.
SK: what? Really?
She shows me a shirt and stands up and moved closer.
SK: I cant run that far.
HB: probably cause you smoke, you should quit.
SK: I can still run 2 miles in less than 12 mins so I'm in good shape.
HB: where did your friends go?
SK: I think they are at the concert, but that band is not my thing.
HB: what's your name?
SK: Slipknot, you?
HB: I'm Becky
We shake hands and make intense eye contact.
SK: can I give you a hug, you look huggable.
HB: yes
We hug and I lightly touch her ass.
SK: You're not one of these fake Irish people here are you?
HB: I am German and Swedish, I have absolutely no Irish in me whatsoever.
SK: would you like some? (said kind of serious)
HB: ummmm
SK: OMG, I've never said that before and meant it. That was like the worlds cheesiest Appoc...
HB: what?

(I almost finished saying apocalypse opener.

SK: nevermind

Hung out with these 3 and met the other 2 on our way to another bar. We get there and go to use the bathroom. The mens room line has like 6 guys in it, the womens had around 20. While I get to front of the mens line, all the guys were screaming obscenities at the pour soul sitting on the shitter.

Random drunk guys: OMG WHAT DID YOU EAT? ARE YOU DONE PEEING OUT YOUR ASS. THE SMELL IS HORRIBLE, PLEASE OPEN A WINDOW, I HAVE NEVER SMELLED SHIT THIS AWFUL, HOW ABOUT A COURTESY FLUSH!!!!!!!

Then the door opens, a little blonde HB walks out while laughter errupts.
HB: sorry guys, I couldnt hold it.

I # close Becky cause they were leaving to go to Grand Ave.

I noticed cops on horses doing crowed control. As drunk as the entire city was, everyone was well behaved.

I got approached by an HB who wanted some beads.
HB: can I have some of your beads?
SK: what's in it for me?
HB: not sure, looks like you have a lot though.
SK: when I bought them, it came with 6, so I guess you're my first victim.
HB: thanks!!

I give her a high five and went to get more beer.

I saw 2 Mexican dudes walking. One had a green shirt on that said IM A BEANER.

I got more beer by doing my standard yelling Miller Lite from beyond a bunch of slow people. If they can't take a joke fuck them.

I approach a 2 set by negging the blonde about not having any green on.
She points to her ponytail and I just say nice effort.

I see an exotic looking babe with glossy fine skin, but couldn't tell what nationality she was.

SK: what nationality are you?
HB: I'm mixed with black and white, but I have a lot of others mixed inn there too.
SK: you have great skin tone
HB: thanks
SK: I live in xxx, if you are near there, let's hook up soon.
HB: we can do that.

# closed, I've talked to her on the phone, but she talks with ghetto sounding ebonics even though I didn't notice that then. She was cute though. I might persue her, but probably not.

On my way out I saw one guy so drunk he fell over cause he couldn't walk. His friend who was just as juiced struggled to set his beer down to pick him up. They lock hands and standing guy pulls up friend but then loses balance and falls on top of him.

Crowd starts yelling: HEY LOOK AT THE FAGS IN THE BUSHES, HAVE ANOTHER ONE BUDDY, MAN ON MAN ACTION LOOKOUT!!!