I started my journal here - pick-up-in-college-vt129158.html in the Beliefs and Confidence Building Forum, because that's kind of where I felt it would be applicable because of the kinds of sticking points I feel that I have, but as I've been being more proactive about working towards my goals, I notice that my sticking points are much greater than I thought.

Current Sticking Points

• -Recognizing Shit-Tests and Responding Appropriately
  -Maintaining A Flirty Tone in a Conversation and just being flirty in general
  -Being the Alpha in a Social Group (ie Body Language)

I've really been using Conquer Your Campus, as well as Stormy's thread frame-control-defining-reality-and-bein ... 34530.html to define how I look at game.

Also, I'm about to start really focusing on body language, using this thread as a guide: 24-nonverbal-cues-to-establish-your-dom ... 10162.html

Last couple days I've been really lazy about going out/going to class. I'm going to set myself a goal of 5 approaches a day.

Also for tomorrow, I'm going to focus on eye contact. I'll maintain strong eye contact throughout the conversation, whenever the person I'm talking to is speaking about something interesting/significant or when I'm saying something of importance.

So I've been horrible about doing all of this lately. I've been sick, lazy and just not in a good place. I need to get back to meditating twice a day, not jerking off more than once a week, and keeping my drive up. Especially with finals coming up.

HOWEVER, I do have some field reports, as well as a lay report (my first one - fuck yeah!)

Monday morning at about 7AM. I hadn't slept all night because I had to leave for a flight back to college at 8 in the morning and didn't want to risk not waking up/couldn't sleep. Bad idea. I was in the airport, chilling before my flight, preparing to try an approach just because I know the only other people flying to my destination city are either old or at my college. Saw a HB7 sit down, sat down next to her, talked to her 30 seconds later. Super fucking AFC. I was also fucking exhausted from not sleeping, so I was just way too fucking tired to flirt/try anything so I kept having the conversation die/revive. Fuck this shit. The conversation was friendly, nice, definitely didn't feel any attraction.

Don't do anything productive all week - still feel horrible about that.

Friday Night - I'm pissed about my week and am ready to go out. Go to a couple parties, with the social game mindset.
I really need to work on it. Been reading Glade's journal and it definitely gave me a new perspective that i'm gonna take advantage of next weekend.
Ended up sneaking into a party later, where I met a few people I knew, met the owner, acted in and got to know the owner but didn't really make any friends. I met a cute girl that I had met a couple times before but every time I meet her I don't spend enough time talking to her. I should spend more time next time gaming her/work on building more social proof to make her want to hang around me more. She always leaves before I can do that. As a freshman, having social proof is fucking hard. Gotta keep making connections and have to find a way to just be more interesting and fun and social in general.

Saturday Night - Chilled during the day, again didn't do much. Went out that night with one of my friends and we snuck into a couple parties til I ran into the HB7 from the airport! Unfortunately, I ended up giving her probably a little bit too much attention at the party but still made a few new friends, seem to be on good terms with her roommate as well. I had really little facetime with her and she was busy being gamed by another guy who was pretty aggressive and AMOG-ing me. They were playing bp and I started talking to her and he said 'Yo, you can direct anything you have to say to me.' I talked to her a little bit more and then went somewhere else and when I came back he got a bit more pissed. I couldn't come up with a good response. I should've probably ignored him and kept on talking to her. Anyone have any good alpha responses there?

She also gave me shit at one point when I mixed up Jack Daniels with a rum for being a freshman. I need a good alpha/dominant response to that. Being a freshman is really harsh on my game, especially because i'm not alpha enough to handle it yet. I need to be more alpha. Anyone have any good suggestion on how to handle girl's reactions when I tell them I'm a freshman? I should also be less apologetic when I'm a freshman. Maybe just say I'm a freshman, and then change the topic quickly, or have them guess. Something to experiment with.

She ended up leaving the party quietly while I was mid BP. Maybe I'll run into them again. Didn't #close. Probably should've/could've.

I ended up bailing from that party soon after and bounced to a couple frat parties that I tend to use to end the night but I can never get any girls there. They're pretty much latino frats that my friend knows people at so I can get into. As an indian, I don't think latinas/blacks find me that attractive, especially in a setting like this, where the party is pretty much all dance floor and I don't have any sort of entourage around me for social proof. I should try spin openers.

Ended up bailing pretty quickly from there and then I texted the HB5 from last time to hang out. (The one who gave me the LMR). She agreed pretty quickly and I met her outside and brought her back to my room, where we quickly started making out. I was pretty drunk so I don't remember everything but I don't remember that much LMR, but I was also having a lot of trouble getting it hard. I'm going to reread stuff about getting into a sexual trance.

I went out saturday night, even though I was a bit sick. It was kinda last minute but I went to a party at a house I've been to a few times before. My (female) friend is good friends with a girl that lives there.

The party was really sad with like 20 people there tops. I was trying really hard to develop social proof but the girls were really against talking to guys, particularly me. I need to do a better job of just making guys laugh and being able to be the center of attention in a conversation and make friends quicker and better.

The value of a work ethic.

Nothing matters more in the world than your work ethic. Your willingness to commit yourself to a goal and see it through.

However, this conflicts with my view that life is really about the process and the journey, and not the goals. Stormy mentions this in his huge post. He talks about how there is no final goal when you're working on becoming more attractive. It's a never-ending process. If you don't appreciate that process, you won't get anywhere.

At the same time, I'm fundamentally lazy. I feel like my brain has been slowly rotting over the past 3 years and it's completely defunct of any level of attention span. I can't focus on any challenges more. I see a challenge and give way instead of pushing against that rock. It hurts me more and more every day that I see that I do this. And I don't mean this just in terms of pick up. I mean this in terms of life. Pick up, however, is forcing me to come to terms with this laziness and deal with it head on. I started out this quarter strong with my work ethic. For the first month, I went to the gym regularly, went to classes, took care of my homework, and was on top of my shit. I was going out, doing fun things and just enjoying things. Then I went home one weekend and lost my groove when I came back. I just did not accomplish anything. I haven't attended any of my classes and I'm scraping by in most of my classes.

I'm not sure what steps I'll have to take to teach myself to appreciate the process and keep at it. Two things I really want to force myself to do - I need to cut back on my facebook usage and the television I watch.

The other day, I realized television was like a drug. It's a tool for escapism. It allows me to not think about my own reality and to fall into another reality so I don't have to deal with my own problems. I do however love television. I love a good laugh and some of the quotes I get are fantastic. But I need to find a balance. I really need to learn to commit myself to my priorities. My failures are piling up and I have no one to blame but myself.

I know I have the ability to accomplish anything I want to. I think we all do, it's why we get into pick up. But we have to commit ourselves.

Right now it's finals week. I have finals until thursday. I'm going to set myself two goals.

I will

• limit myself to 30 minutes of facebook every day.
  not masturbate until I get home for spring break

I better accomplish both of these goals.

Aced my finals and then went home for spring break. I spent most of it chilling it with bros and the like. I should've done some approaches at the mall.

We went to an 18+ club Saturday night. There was a decent amount of grinding and what-not. Unfortunately it was just us 4 guys who showed up together, so we didn't brign any girls with us.

I spent a while just dancing with my bro's and having fun but then I wanted to dance with some girls. Got a couple early rejections and then 2 straight yes's who I danced with for a few minutes. One was feeling it but left because of her friend. The other one I didn't escalate fast enough at all. I need to escalate a lot faster when I'm grinding with a girl.

After that it was all rejections. I probably asked every girl in the club and didn't have any luck. I feel like my body language was showing it after a while. I don't think my approach was very good either. All I would do is firmly but tenderly grab a girl's hand and ask her to dance. 'Wanna dance?' No, every time.

Dance floor game is a major sticking point for me. I have no idea how to go about it. I tried a couple spin openers but to no avail. I think I need to be more comfortable on the dance floor/have more fun out there. I'm too self conscious to truly let loose on the dance floor.

Got back to the dorms today. I really need to change things up this quarter.

Go to the gym 3 times a week.
Go to class regularly.
Meet new people.
- I'm going to do 5 street approaches a day.

Major sticking point I've been feeling is developing that fun flirty vibe in a conversation with a girl. I'm comfortable enough being sexual, but I have a hard time being comfortable expressing any kind of direct sexual interest in a girl. I definitely need to find a way to balance that.

Also want to be more fun/outgoing this quarter. Last quarter I was feeling a lot of pressure on myself to be the leader and create/do fun things. I'm going to start taking it step by step in developing the characteristics of being a 20% man (as mark redman put it in conquer your campus).

I'm going to start with being FUN and DOMINANT.

Also, TOLLE is going to be a huge part of my development this quarter. I've started reading it and it's very interesting but a bit dense and it's also something that clearly takes time to ingrain. I've started with some of the basic exercises.

Field Report:

Did not approach any girls today and am super pissed at myself about that. I need to kill my AA with an AK47. I was in line and a cute girl was behind me and I just could not strike up conversation. I didn't do it right away and after that I psyched myself out saying that if you don't do it in the first minute then its useless.

I need to push myself more. I failed in my goal for today and I'm disappointed in myself. I will approach 5 girls tomorrow during the day and will not return home until I do so.


I got invited to a sorority party tonight from a girl I barely talk to who has a bf. I ended up going, but I left after like an hour because I just wasn't in state and was feeling really awkward. I didn't really know anybody at the party and I wasn't able to be as social as I wanted to. I think a level of this AA comes with being a freshman, but I'm not saying that's ok. I need to work past this.

Goals for tomorrow

• -Approach 5 girls
  -Get 1 number
  -Make a new guy friend
  -Go to the gym