Hello, after reading some of AFC Daniel's journal I thought I would start my own. Although I have yet to read all of his journal I can see he is making great progress (as far as I have read), I hope that making a journal will encourage me to make similar progress.

What I need I would like is to get encouragement and advise from the community and if I can help others along the way that's great. Hopefully others can learn from my mistakes.

So here we go.

My History

I have had a long term relationship which ended a couple of years ago and I have had a couple of casual (one night) relationships. Whilst I am not experienced and I am not starting from 0, probably 0.1 is more accurate.

My goals

To become comfortable approaching women

To become desirable

To have more relationships with women, both casual and more serious.

To get out of the friend zone.


How I am going to achieve my goals

First of all what I am NOT going to do. The following is based on my opinion and I do not mean to show any disrespect to those who use methods which I will talk about. I am sure these methods do work for some people but they are just not for me, for reasons I will explain.

I will not be going out just to sarge, I have read many reports where a PUA goes out just to pick up women. I realise real progress can be made in taking this approach, but it is not for me. What I will be doing is trying to approach whilst out doing something else, so if I am out clubbing with my friends or waiting for a train.

I will not be using methods involving card tricks or magic, to be honest I do not have the skill or the confidence to pull it off.

Finally I will not be trying to use NLP, again I do not have the skill or know-how to do it but frankly I think it is weird. I am sure Ross Jefferies is rolling in women but it is not for me.

I hope a lot of people can appreciate where I am coming from and I am sorry if you take offence. I think alot of guys would prefer to learn a more natural method which I will try to learn.

My main weaknesses

The main weakness I wish to change is my lack of confidence in approaching women. I could probably count the number of times I have approached a women on my hands. I put this down to mainly AA and a lack of a game plan.

My next main weakness is the ability to go from conversation to anything physical. I do have several female friends (refer to my goals) but I am firmly in the friend zone, and with some of them it has been because I do not know how to take it to the next stage. I hope to reverse the effects of the friend zone in some cases and ensure I never get into the same situation unless it is what I want.

Linked to my previous paragraph, I am genuinely a good guy. My problem, I am often the shoulder to cry on for girls, basically a mug. I need to be more forceful and put my wants first.

Next Steps

Over the next week I WILL approach several strangers.

I am meeting several female friends of mine, I will try to flirt and create desire.

I would greatly appreciate any comments or advise anyone has for me.

Thanks for reading. [/u][/b]

Hey man,

I totally agree with you about all your points about not going out just to sarge, not using magic etc. If you havent already I would really recommend checking out some of Tyler Durdens videos on youtube. He covers topics like freedom of outcome, assuming value, being congruent etc which is all the stuff I think you're looking for.

Look forward to reading about your progress.

Peace,
Jflux

Thanks Jflux,

I think a lot of people will probably agree, magic etc isn't for all of us. I will look up tyler, thanks for the tips.

I will keep you updated.

Day One- A quick warm up

Ok today I went for my usual run in a local park. I wasn't hoping to meet anyone as I was training hard but I thought that it would be a great way to kill some of my AA to say hello to passing people.

There is not much to say other than it worked and most people responded in a friendly manor.

What I learnt

People don't bite, in the context of a run there is only time for a one line hello so the conversation can't develop. But, I believe in principle most people are friendly and won't shoot you down.

It has also given me more of an insight into my true weaknesses and what I have to build on:

I am rubbish at approaching strangers, this is my main problem. I have a lot of friends and I consider myself a likeable and social person, but that is due to meeting people through a specific context or common factor e.g. work, university college, school. As previously mentioned I have several female friends but then the next problem comes in, escalating to physical contact.

Conclusion

My jogging and greeting people was a good way to build some slight confidence and an insight into how others view a stranger but in reality it has taken me no closer to resolution of my real problems. [/u]

Hello,

Sorry been really hectic last few days. Obviously, I mentioned I would not be going out sarging but trying to mix it into my everyday life, I will not be updating everyday or even approaching everyday.

I am already starting to have reservations as I feel I need practice but currently I do not have time so I will just have to make do.

I should have opportunities tomorrow, so my mission is to approach one person women tomorrow.

Baby steps.

Right first day with a proper target and it was an abject failure!

I went shoe shopping and I was hoping to engage a HB sales attendant but there was no opportunities/I hesitated.

My game plan was something like this:

Me: Hey, can I have your opinion on these shoes?
HB: BLAH BLAH
Me: You don't sound convinced, which do you prefer?
HB: BLAH BLAH
ME:BLAH BLAH
Fluff Talk
ME: So would you go out for a drink with a guy wearing this shoes?
HB: Yeh sure, #####

However, nothing near this happened. I don't even know if it is a good method as I didn't test it. I would like to hear anyone's thoughts.

I also had a couple of half opportunities to open people outside the context of shopping but I had no prep or balls for an approach away from shopping.

What I have learnt is I need to do a ton of reading and preparation. If you have any recommendations, bearing in mind the approach I am taking, please let me know.

The Future

First of all I need to do my research as mentioned.

Second, I am going for drinks with a couple of friends who are HBs, purely as friends but no harm in trying out a few things.

Third, there are some decent girls in my classes and they therefore should be around my age (early 20s). I have a week to try and prepare. Again, I have no doubt I can be friends with them but I need to know how to develop that, any ideas please let me know.

Fourth, some big nights out occuring soon, I need to be ready and face another problem of mine which is getting too drunk. I don't have a drinking problem but I am a classic binge drinker. It makes me lose the ability to communicate or even if I was successful I would not be able to perform so to speak.

Please don't hesitate if you have any advice. [/u]

hey man i like your attitude, and sounds like you must have at least some basic social skills if you have female friends.

For reading i would recommend 'the game' just to wet your appetite and inspire you (although bear in mind game is much wider and has developed a lot from this) and Tyler Durdan's (RSD) foundations, this is a really good starting point and most importantly he tells you how to become good at this, put simply its not reading a lot its going out and approaching a lot. He doesn't cover inner game and body language in this so look up some basic body language stuff and leave inner game for a little while.

I really think you should aim to have some designated time for just pick up, otherwise you will never get good and be careful trying stuff in your social circle, if it doesn't go as planned you may look like a bit odd, where as in cold approach it wouldn't matter.

Good luck man.

xZEROx ,

Thanks for the advice I am going to look up Tyler. I have read the game and I found it more of a good read rather than a good guide to pick up although it was useful as an overview.

The strange thing about my situation as I would say generally my inner game is good. I would say I am in good shape and reasonably well kept (although I could be better), and I am successful academically and professionally. Women is my only black spot. And yes I just read that paragraph back and I can hear how arrogant I sound.

I think you might be right a time just to pick up maybe a good idea but I currently have very little time available. It is something I will consider, perhaps in the summer I could give it a try. However, I also think I will find going out just to pick up a bit depressing especially if I dont have the balls to approach as my one reason for leaving the house would be a failure.

I will persevere, however my plans for tonight got cancelled which is annoying.

Yeah the game is a novel not a manual, also you don't sound arrogant at all, you sound successful which means you have the habits of success, therefore you can become successful at pick up.

Dude ask yourself if you really cant spend a couples hours out at night or during the day to practice, or is this an excuse? Everyone has free time, don't they? Fill it with game! and i still push the point to go out just to game if you want to become good... i have done nor heard of any other way, you can go out with friends of course to 'have fun' but you can depart from the group and do some sets on your own, make it possible.

have fun!

xZEROx,

I have to admit it is partially excuse but I am genuinely busy for the next few weeks so I will try and combine game with other social activities. I think if I neglected my current social life for game I would be taking a step backwards. I should have more time in a few weeks time so if I have made no progress then I may try it.

I watched quite a lot of Tyler's videos on Youtube and I have to say they are very interesting and instructive. I found it hard to ignore how he was portrayed as a douche in the game but he actually seems like a normal guy.

From his videos I realised I have to be more assertive when approaching, it is not really about what you say but how you say it and I have to be prepared to take more high-risk approaches which paradoxically he calls low-risk as they are more likely to work. So instead of being like "excuse me do you have the time", say "sit and talk to me".

I looked into his blue print manual but realised it costs more than my car. Any one know a cheaper option or books that could give me information on RSD?

Right thought of a potential opener to probably use in a nightclub. I have done a fair bit of research and I am trying to go along the lines of saying the unexpected and high risk=low risk. So here we go:

Me: I need to ask you a question.
HB: OK...
ME: Do you want a band or a DJ at our wedding?
HB:HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Obviously it depends on how you say it but I think it could work. Please critique. Also I apologise if this isn't original and I haven't given credit to a source I haven't read.

Positives

It is unusual

It's funny

It's kind of stupid bordering on cheesy.

Negatives

If the girl isn't that bright or your tone is serious she make thing you are being serious and therefore think you are a weirdo.

It may go over that cheesy/cocky boundary.

Maybe gives the girl too much power as it makes it clear you want them.

Thoughts anyone?[/u]

I like the opener man, and as with all openers sometimes it will have the deisred effect and other times it wont you just have to make sure you stay congruent regardless of her reaction and maintain control of the set. You really don't need to put too much thought into openers, half the fun is going up to a girl and saying any dumb shit that comes into your head as long as its with a playful undertone. As I said as long you maintain congruency you really can't go wrong at the open, just have fun with it, and the majority of women will respond positively.

Thanks man, I just feel I will have more confidence and be more likely to approach if I have a bit of a gameplan.

Progress Report

Admittedly progress has been slow since I have started this blog but I feel I am getting somewhere with the reading and at least I have progressed in the development stage.

I went out last night with a couple of female friends, one of whom I don't know too well. I did not want to get with her but I did use the opporunity to try and be a bit more open and in the moment with a women I don't know. I think it worked and we had fun.

I also had my first experience AS an AMOG, I tried to let the guy work his magic as I knew neither of them were available to him but I think my presence put him off. Didn't help I was a fair bit bigger than him. If you are reading this I apologise. But it was interesting as I could see him try to develop kino and the girls did seem fairly receptive to it. Well as receptive as an unavailable girl can be.

Right I have done very little in-field so far but next weekend is going to be a big party weekend so hopefully I will have something to report. I may update during the weekend if I have any thoughts on any reading or techniques. [/u]

check your private messages

Field Report

So I spotted a HB waiting for a train. I approached her with out hesitating, sat down next to her, took my headphones out then I had nothing to say. I think she had thought I was just sitting down so there wasn't any awkwardness between us but I still couldn't get anything out. I really f*cked it up, even if I had managed a sentence I had been there too long and it would have been clear I had been thinking of something. After about a minute she saw a friend and called her over. If I didn't have the balls to talk to one girl it wasn't going to happen with too.

To rub salt into the wounds I could hear their conversation, no in an eavesdropping way, they were sat next to me. The 1st HB had just broken up with her bf and 2nd HB mentioned it was weird that they were all turning 20, therefore she was single and age appropriate and HOT. Not only did I mess it up but any of my reassuring doubts were dispelled.

What I need to do is get a concrete routine to run until I comfortable winging it. I may have to look more into routine based game then RSD.