Hey everyone! I've been reading through a few journals on here and have decided to give my own a go. I need to change my life, and this seems like a great way to hold myself accountable and actually get some change going.

About me:
Well, I'm 23 from Australia, and still live with my mum. I work as a bartender, but it's only two nights per week, so I don't make much money. I live in a regional area (around cow dairy farms and such) and it takes a good 15-20 minutes to reach the closest town and another 10-15 to reach a town with a nightclub.
Anyway I've been very disappointed with myself about the way my life is going. I have basically no social life anymore, I just dropped off the radar after school. I hardly go out, hate that I still live at home and am not independent, I suck at talking to beautiful women. Even working behind the bar I get flustered when serving attractive women (I work in a mostly older aged peoples club though so it's not that often, but it happens.)
Anyway on the positive side, I have made the decision to turn my life around. I stopped smoking after 7 years of the disgusting habit (5 months! It can be done) I started exercising more, and have started eating healthier. I am not massively overweight or anything but can probably lose 10kg or so. Then as I began moving from strength to strength making little changes in my life I found out about the PUA communities after stumbling upon mysteries "the pickup artist" tv show. I read through his book the mystery method and am currently reading the game. In mystery method he talks about three areas in your life: HEALTH, WEALTH and LOVE. I rated myself out of 10. Health=5 Wealth=1 and Love=1.
I need to change more! I need to do better, and I want to begin with confidence, which I believe will help me in all other areas of my life. So here I am starting a journal, which will hopefully help me to from AFC(love that acronym, hate that I am it) to PUA.
Oh, and I am not a virgin. I've kissed five girls and slept with two. But have done nothing in the last 5 years. (Re-virgined?)

My Goals
This journal is just for PUA goals, I have loads more but will focus on PUA here!

-I want to be able to hold a conversation with a woman for more than 10 seconds
-I want confidence and self-belief
-I want to make new friends
-I want to sleep with women
-I want to find a girlfriend
-I want to be comfortable around people
-I want to develop a usable set of social skills
-I want to go out more
-I WANT TO BE A PUA!

Where my game is at now
Truthfully, I'm scared. I feel slightly anxious even just writing this stuff know that I am going to have to put myself out there.
When I talk to women, my mind often goes blank, often times I wing it and can make good conversation but not always. I also have the most annoying red face, which I feel burning in as I talk to beautiful women. I have tried everything to stop it, but as of yet have been unsuccessful.
So basically, I suck at approach(freeze up) I go red in the face, and mind blank whist talking, which all contribute to making me the AFC that I am.
These things also happen with other people not just beautiful women, I think that I am scared of what people are thinking about me (low self-esteem?)
I am determined to overcome and change though, and I hope this will make all the difference.
Oh and I've never approached a woman, sober. Drunk yes, sober no.
Let's just say I rate a 5 out of 100 in the social skills department. Lot's of work to be done.

How my journal will run
I will be setting myself weekly challenges and reporting back daily.
I hope that you will chime in if you have advice that you believe will be useful to me, and I will ask questions at the end of each post that if you know the answer to or can help out in anyway I would appreciate it.

Questions:
I will be focusing on the mystery method as this is all I really know so far. Is this acceptable?
I've read the newbie challenge and I will be doing that. As I need to build up my social skills from the bottom up, are there any other challenges like this?
Anything else you recommend that I should know or be aware of?

- CrazyFarmer

Day 1 - A slow start

Ok, so day 1. I have decided to jump straight in, not into the deep end, but at the beginning. I just want to test myself, hopefully give myself some confidence. Below are the objectives that I will be attempting while I go shopping for some new jeans today. I will be on my own, and have nothing else planned, so can spend as much time as I need.

Objectives:
1. Say "Hi" to at least 10 women, remembering to smile and hold eye contact.
2. Open at least 2 women, using the simple line "Hey, I need to buy something for my sister, can you help me out?" whist in store.

Report:
Approaches: 1

So, it really didn't go to plan. Arriving at the shopping complex where I intended to approach at least 2 women and say hi to 10 more, I hear a loud siren. Turns out some siren went haywire and the entire place is open but basically empty (come on!) Anyway, I go in and went and bought some new jeans. Then as I passed a chocolate shop I caught a glimpse of a really cute girl, defiantly something I am interested in, straight away I though I should try to open her, but I wimped out and kept walking. At a phone shop I saw a girl I used to like, I though I should open her, but wimped out again. I walked back to my car having said nothing to anyone but the old lady I bought the jeans off. Not a good start! So I dumped my jacket in the car, as the sun had come out now, and walked back in. I totally forgot about saying "hi" to 10 women, but I was determined to open the girl at the phone shop. Didn't happen. I walked the other way, so I headed to the chocolate shop and began modifying the opener above to fit the chocolate shop. I walked in (go me!) and began talking:

Me: Hey, I'm looking for something to get my little sister, I am about to go see her and I haven't seen her in a while, do you have any ideas?
Her: Huh, (she gave a little smile) how old is she?
Me: 13, yeah, I haven't seen her for a while and want to take something, you know.
Her: That's sweet

Anyway, we chatted a little there, and I chose out a box of chocolates with her help. And went to the desk, she asked if I wanted it gift wrapped, I said yeah great idea. Then I JUST STOOD THERE as she wrapped it up. The only thing I thought of was "how long have you worked here" then my inner voice kicked in saying that was stupid. Then finally realised that standing here saying nothing was even stupider and felt awkward, more awkward than it would have been if I had said something and continued the conversation. She actually seemed interested and happy to be serving me early on, she even looked me up and down (that a ioi? she smiled while I was looking into her eyes asking a question as well ioi?)

So I wimped out on most of it, but I approached a girl in a shop, even though it turned into a normal purchase from just another customer, it's more than i've done in the last few years.

How I felt I went:
Rubbish. Thinking about what happened on the way home I did realise a few things. I wasn't having fun, I could have had fun talking with the girl in the chocolate shop but instead I got all stiff went quiet.
I need to practice way more on my approach, I did realise that I can actually approach women though and all my problems pretty much lie with my thinking. I need to change that. I will be going out again tomorrow and WILL talk to more than one woman!
That tiny step, of deliberately walking in, and starting to chat with a girl even though it didn't turn out as I wanted, has shown me that I have the ability to walk up and strike up a conversation, that it is not impossible and that I will not die! So even though this sucked, I will take away a positive from it.

On Goals:
I've decided to refine my goals a bit, reading them again in the first post they are sketchy and undefined, plus I have rethought my choice to only include PUA goals here. I think I have to include most of my major goals to keep myself going and do this, they all compliment each other and all reach for the same goal anyway: to improve my life.

Goals:
1. Start my own business
- Something that I have always wanted to do, I am thinking of something online. Maybe a blog and a ebook/kindle store type setup. Until then I would like to continue working my bar job, and look for another job as the bar job only goes for two days per week.
2. Get my BMI down to 22
- My BMI is currently 27.6 (overweight, a lot higher than I thought it would be, I don't think I look that bad. But it looks like I need to loose 15 kg to get to my goals BMI. I am going to kick up my cardio to 40 mins per day, and add in 30 min weight training as well each and every day. My diet will also need to be changed, I'm thinking about doing a 10 day juice fast and then going onto something like vegetarian, or paleo or something similar.
3. Improve my confidence, self-esteem and social skills
- Here is where PUA comes into it. improving these areas I believe will have massive effects on all areas of my life. I am focused mainly on this at the moment and will continue to journal my progress here.
4. Move out of my mum's house
- I am 23 and live with my mum, I love my mum, but need to get out. I don't feel like an independent person. I've never lived outside of home for more than a month and really need to start living my own life. I need money for this, so getting a second job, and starting my own business (goal 1) should allow me to do this.

My current focus as I mentioned is 3. Improve confidence, self-esteem and social skills. I'll also add - meet, and kiss girls to this. In my next post I will break down my action items for this goal.

Questions:
Has PUA had effects on other areas of your life other than meeting more women?
Am I right in saying that I am too serious, I go in thinking ok - I need to be really entertaining/say smart stuff, be funny whatever. Then I end up doing nothing. What's the best way you recommend that I can just go in to have fun, I know some material, I just stop myself from using it. Ideas?

_________________
A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence.

i see you actually did try out the same opener. It's good for first timers. honestly i would use that one till you are fully comfortable and then take bigger steps. I mean always take bigger steps if you can but if you can't theres that one to always fall back on.

honeslty asking "how long have you worked here" is not bad. during the day any conversation is more exciting than what is going on in her life right now.

how long have you been working here?
really thats a long time to work at a chocolate store what drew you to work here in the first place?
really not that long then. i bet you want to try everything here
do you get discounts on chocolate?

whatever works

ps: you don't have to buy anything usually i just say "im just kind of looking around shops i have not come to a final decision yet" "or i might get it later on"

_________________
there is no turning back. there is only winning

Hey thanks for the advice, yeah I'll stick with this one for a bit, but I want to try a few more, get comfortable with a few simple openers that I can always fall back on.

And yeah next time I won't buy anything, it didn't worry me though I didn't spend too much. I'll be heading back tomorrow, and I hope to do better.

_________________
A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence.

You've gotten my interest, my we have so much in common, the mom stuff and all.

Well, my only concern is that you may be trying at too many things at once? Not being a success myself, I can't offer advice, but hear me out. It's based on my experience, I, like you, have to get multiple areas of my life sorted out.

But I'm not getting anywhere in those areas. After looking at them primarily and spent many hours on them. In essence, I'm not happy. Not being happy is affecting me in all the other areas in my life. Not being happy is a huge bummer. i'm not depressed, but when i see everyone around me having their girls and i;m alone. when I see the active social lives of many others and think of mine. It's close to it.

I believe that we are going to have the best chances of success by first focusing on this PUA stuff. Then all others will come. I want to emphasize that the PU studies and approaches should be # 1. If you don't put it up there, my fear is that your subconscious will tell you....get money, then the girls...move out then the girls.....lose the weight, then get the girls. Then years down the road, when you have not reached anywhere, you're dumbfounded as to why and settle for a mediocre life. My advice is to go hard at the pick up, as you grow in confidence and self esteem...and happiness - you will be able to motivate yourself to study, work on your business, move out and improve your health.

I'm doing this now, going to focus on PU (for higher confidence and happiness)- maintain work, business and stuff at home, but work primarily on my social life. I'm going to follow your model and begin a journal like this. With everything defined.

Take care, and all the best.

We'll make it, don't worry.

Thanks for the feedback Shello, yeah I've had that same thought as well, and I have spent today working it out. I've broken each goal into smaller achievable goals and I believe that I will be able to focus on everything. Each goals is numbered by importance, and learning PUA for the social skills and confidence is my number one goal right now.

After I write this post I will post my report from today, it shows my breakdown of goals, I would love your opinion.

Making it!

_________________
A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence.

Day 2 - A day of thought and planning.

Today's objectives:
Plan out my goals and such.

Report:
So I was going to go out and try some approaches again today, but heaps of stuff came up at home, so going into town was going to take too long. Nevertheless I've spent the time that I could today thinking about my life, and how I want it to change. Yesterday I got the book "The style life challenge: Master the game in 30 days." And I've decided to do that to build my game and social skills. I also spent plenty of time thinking about the rest of my life goals, and have decided to focus on each of my five main goals so that my life moves forward. This is an entire lifestyle change for me, and I'm excited.

How I felt it went:
It felt good, planning out what I actually want to do, I've never really put this much thought into it. But as I have said in previous posts I have made the decision to change, and planning like this feels like the right way to do it.

Breaking down my goals into manageable pieces:
So I've decided to break down my goals into manageable pieces so that I can begin making progress in all areas of my life. In order of current importance:

Goal 1: Improve my confidence, social skills and self-esteem through PUA training.
Current Objective - Run through the 30 day Stylelife challenge
Success is - Getting a date!

So I need some guidance, so I've decided to do the 30 day Stylelife challenge. I have great respect for Style after reading the game and am looking forward to doing it. I have only read the introduction so far, and will read the first day tomorrow morning.

Goal 2: Get my BMI down to 22.
Current Objective - Cardio for 40 minutes every morning.
- Have a healthy juice for breakfast every morning. (Because I always skip it)
Success is - Doing this for a week, then I will add weights.

My BMI is currently 27.6, which puts me in the overweight category. I need to change that. I am going to start by kicking my cardio up to 40 minutes per day. I currently do 20 minutes. And having a healthy breakfast each morning a la a healthy fresh juice made with my own juicer. I skip breakfast all the time, so this should give me a kick-start in the morning.

Goal 3: Start my own business
Current Objective - 2 hours per day working on business.
Success is - Launching my new business.

I've always wanted to start my own business, be an entrepreneur for as long as I can remember, so why not get to it now! I am going to set aside two hours per day for planning my business and will increase that time as needed. Good for conversation "Oh yeah, i'm starting a business."

Goal 4: Travel around Australia for a year
Current Objective: Write up a plan as to how I can do this.
Success is: Having a viable plan written up (show it to others, see if they think it's doable)

Not listed in my original goals from my last posts, but something that I have been considering for a few years, but had stored away in the back of my mind. I want to travel, and what better place to visit than Australia. I already live here, so score. Since I am changing my life, improving social skills and all that travelling Australia will be great! I think I will have the time of my life, at the moment I think that I will do this at the beginning of next year. Head of on the 1/1/2013, but that may change and I may do it sooner. I have put 30 minutes each day for the rest of the month away so that I can work on this plan. It should be finished by the end of the month!
Women of Australia, watch out! There's a CrazyFarmer about!

Goal 5: Move out of mum's house
Current Objective - 30 minutes each day searching for a new job.
Success is - Getting a second job.

It's funny that I put this last, to me anyway. I thought it was a big deal, but I have bigger things to worry about. Anyway, because my current job is only 6-10 hours per week, I am going to set aside 30 minutes each and everyday to move myself forward to finding new work to bring in more income. It doesn't matter too much what the work is, just get a job. I'm not sure how I will fill in those 30 minutes after a few days, I will put in for every job I can find and fix up my resume as best that I can I guess. Also I realise that because I want to travel Australia for a year, it is probably better to stay at my mum's house to save money until I take off travelling, and then get my own place when I finish. I'll put some more thought into this.

All of these current objectives I have put into the iProcrastinate application on my macbook air. I'm getting an iPhone at the start of next month (I know, how long have I waited!) and will be able to keep on top of these as they will be marked on my to do list each and everyday!

Questions:
What do you think about my goals? Are the doable? Or should I aim higher?
Have you done the stylelife challenge? Did it help your game? Your life?

_________________
A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence.

Day 3 - Day 1 of my Stylelife Challenge

Today's objectives:
3.Operation Small Talk:
- Make small talk with five strangers today.

Report:
Success. But let me break it down, day one of the stylelife challenge consisted of answering a few questions about yourself, reading a few pages about limiting beliefs and then heading out into the field to make "small talk" with five complete strangers. Easier said than done for someone who has stuff all confidence and shit social skills. But I went to it and succeeded.

The article about limiting beliefs really helped, every time I got a bit self-conscious. I remember that everyone feels the same way, and that most people don't give a shit about what you are doing because they are too busy thinking about what people think they are doing (you get that?) So as soon as I started feeling it I changed my line of thinking to "I don't give a shit what people think anyway, I'm having fun!" It changed the way I walked and the way that I talked.

Anyway I succeeded in talking to five strangers.

1. I made a joke to a guy sitting alone on a kids toy. He laughed.
2. I tried to strike up a conversation with a guy sitting alone on a bench outside, he didn't go for it, and just mumbled away to himself.
3. I made another joke to a guy in the shopping centre (gotta stop talking to guys!) when I was buying some fruit.
4. I sat down next to an old guy who was waiting outside the shopping centre on a chair you put two bucks in and it massages you are some shit. I made small talk then left.

I started thinking now, that I hadn't approached any women, so I did!

5. There was a cooking demonstration in the main area, so I looked around the tables watching and approached a group of girls and then asked one of them about the cooking show. I only talked for like 30 seconds or so, but I did it.

How I felt it went:
Good. As my social skills are lacking, starting from basics I think is really good for me. I'm interested to see what is next in store for me with this stylelife challenge. It's hard not to look forward through the book or read someone else's experiences while doing it, so each day is coming as a complete surprise to me. I think it was good choice to do this instead of trying to learn on my own.

Other Thoughts:
I think that my biggest problem is putting myself down, inside my head before I do something. Self-confidence would really help me, and I think just simply telling myself things like who cares, and realising that everyone has these same feelings will help me not be so self conscious.

On my other goals:
I think that I can do all the little tasks I've set myself for each of my goals, I've already had some great business ideas, increased cardio is doable, Juicing in the morning is yum. And the idea to travel around Australia gets more and more exciting each and every time that I think about it.

Questions:
None, pretty happy with how it went.

_________________
A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence.

Day 4 - Day 2 of my Stylelife Challenge

Today's objectives:
Small talk with five strangers, while keeping eye contact and noting their eye colour.

Report:
I was a bit apprehensive about this one, I get self conscious when I keep eye contact, but I listed to the audio recommended by the book and before I went up to everyone I reminded myself that I'm CrazyFarmer, I'm awesome, and that they are probably more uncomfortable than me, and that I am the alpha male, they are lucky to be talking to me. And it worked a charm.

On the drive towards town, I stopped of in a little town to buy a red bull, before entering I decided to get the eye colour of the clerk. It turned out to be a man of indian descent, with brown eyes.
1 down

Next when I got to town I headed into a store to look at accessories for my Mac, I played around with the inshore mac's for a bit then called over an attendant by looking at him "the option mission," he came over and I had a conversation about mac's with him. He had blue eyes, and was clearly more confident than I was.
2 down.

Next I entered a book store, and started flipping through a few business books, many which I wanted to buy, but I'm broke right now. Then a great looking girl came up to me and asked me a question about the books, I answered, she had a huge smile and wide blue eyes.
3 down.

Next I headed towards the town's information shop as I wanted to get some information on the local bushwalking trails. I was surprised that the shop even had a person working there I thought there would just be a computer terminal with a big I on it, but no. A women a little older than me 26 or so I guess was working. Great! I walked straight up to her and asked her, she wasn't sure about the trail I asked about, we walked around the store. Then she finally went back behind the counter and perked up bit smiling and laughing as I made a few jokes, she gave me great eye contact and she had beautiful brown eyes. I thanked her after chatting a little longer and left.
4 down.

I was ready to leave, but needed one more. I though hey I'll just go into this cafe and get the colour of whoever serves me. I bought a bottle of water and got the brown eyes of a shy girl behind the counter who struggled to look me in the eye.
5 down, DONE! Success!

I also over the day said 'How are you?" to 9 walking past me, she said good and kept walking.
I also said "hey" to a few people sitting by themselves on benches as I walked around.

How I felt it went:
My confidence has already improved from this I think, as I was apprehensive going into it, but just believing that I was Alpha and all that really made a difference. I think if I was working game more properly that I could have gotten a number close on the woman working in the Info shop, maybe another time. I can always go back in.

I'm loving the stylelife challenge after only two days of it, and cannot wait to see what is in store tomorrow. I've got work over the next two nights, which I think is a great place to strike up conversations with people as I am a bartender, but I never really chat to people. I just say hey, how are you, what would you like. No worries, then pour it, say thanks and that's it. It's a bit of a routine, that I think I will change this weekend, and actually ask people how there night is going, how's the food and all that.

On my other goals:
I've written a one-page business plan for my business, I decided to do this so that I could focus on what was necessary instead of all the fluff that's in a business plan. I'm going to work on it a little more today.
40 minutes of cardio a day is hurting my legs a bit, but I'm pulling through, I walked more than I jogged over the 2km I did this morning (I walk/jog on very rough, hilly terrain)
My trip around Australia has started to be funded as I decided to save up a few thousand dollars to use on the trip. Hopefully I will have an income from my online business by then, and only have this savings as backup incase something bad happens.

Questions:
None, pretty happy at the moment !

_________________
A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence.

good job bro its good to see u progressing im thinking of doing warm up sets like u by talking to random people.

_________________
if you dont believe in yourself ,then who will?

Yeah mate, it's a great confidence builder, even just saying "hi" to someone you wouldn't normally acknowledge as they pass you in the street. After you did it your thinking will change to "Hey that wasn't that hard, I can do this." Then it becomes easier the next time. This is what I am finding anyway.

_________________
A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence.

good job made good progress since a few posts back. I've kind of fallen off the horse a bit and struggling with my AA big time but its motivating to hear success. keep going

_________________
there is no turning back. there is only winning

Hey yeah, having a journal, and using the stylelife challenge I think is making a difference and I think it will help me a lot more than if I was doing it just on my own!

Keep ya head up, it's all in your mind, you can do it!

_________________
A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence.

yep i just went out and made some approaches again today so it definantly helps to read other's journals. if you keep track of my progress and post from time to time ill keep track of yours and do the same so there is mutual motivation building.

_________________
there is no turning back. there is only winning