Hi everyone.

I knew about this community in the Summer 2010. I entered and really started in April 2011, and practiced reasonably seriously for 5 months, receiving instruction from several instructors; mainly Chris Orleans (used to work for DiCarlo, now works solo). I have faded in my efforts for the past while. I got into this because I’m 23, still a virgin, and my experiences with women have not been positive. Two suicidal girlfriends scared me off from dating, I have a hard time expressing my sexual side with women, and communicating my intent. I will get this handled now because I want to be able to choose. I refuse to “settle”.

I have not progressed at a speed I think would be ideal for two reasons:
1) Consistency – The number of approaches and how many times I do them varies. Which leads to…
2) Fear – Lack of consistency leads to AA cropping up over and over. As well, this extends to all areas of pick up; ranging from pushing for the SNL, make outs, general escalation, etc.

It’s time to stop fucking around, I’m tired. This is my first crack at making a plan to intensely focus on this area of my life, collected from my experience so far, what I have read to master this area in a short time, and what I think is important to focus on. Depending on how I feel, it may change. After these past months I can say I prefer day game, but will be doing day and night game: 1) To push my boundaries, 2) I know they aren’t mutually exclusive in the skills required, 3) To go after SNLs.

I’m currently a grad student, and will be for at least the next two years. It’d be nice to just work on this full time, but I prefer to have some balance in my life of other things to do, and at any time in my life I’m going to be busy. This is the best time to get this handled.

I’m a very logical guy, so I’m taking a very logical, planned, approach. But I know it’s the best way to get good at this. Picking up girls may not be best to be done logically, but I sure as hell can plan my learning that way! Here are the sections of the plan:

1. Goals and Reviews
Daily in numbers of approaches, weekly/monthly in terms of what to focus on.
Each week I will review if I accomplished what I set out to do, as well as summarize monthly progress.

2. Approaching and Parkinson’s Law
The most important part. Numbers during the day will increase after I am comfortable gaming alone, and I plan on doing more when feeling good, or out at night.
Following Parkinson’s Law (you extend the work to the amount of time available to you), I will set a time limit for how long I have to get the approaches done, and stick to this.
State building/momentum approaches (like asking someone what time it is) do not count. Indirect openers count if I change into stating my intent. Otherwise during the day, they must be direct openers (what I like to use during the day). At night, all approaches count.
With this amount, I’m hoping I won’t “burn out”. If I find I am, I will adjust accordingly.

Frequency to Start:
1 approach daily minimum
1 night game session minimum weekly, 8 sets minimum, time limit to be determined
2 day game sessions minimum weekly, 5 sets minimum 1 hour each
1 free session – day or night per week
Total: Absolute minimum of ~ 25 sets a week to begin with, increasing after.

Most likely I will use lunch breaks on campus for day game, in which case the 1 approach will be passed. An approach a day keeps AA away. I’m assuming I’ll be more than this, but these are the bare minimums.

3. Closing
Number close will be done on every set in day game. All forms of closing will be attempted in night game. ABC (always be closing).

4. Visualization
After each day of approaching, I will visualize what I think I could have done differently to make each set go better (Psycho Cybernetics – the mind cannot tell the different between real and vividly imagined stimuli). I will also incorporate feedback I receive into these visualizations.

5. Inner Game, Affirmations, Meditation
Concurrently through all my approaching, I will be working on my inner game for congruence. This will involve things like Hypnotica’s Collection of Confidence, and affirmations, which may be changed as I progress through this journey. My affirmations will be read for 10minutes a day silently. They are to be written within the next weeks.

Finally, I will also be meditating to focus my energy. Beginning with 15min a day, and increasing there on as I feel.
Theory will be from books like No More Mr. Nice Guy and The Way of the Superior Man.

6. Physical Activity
Breaking my arm snowboarding in Winter I slowed down going to the gym. I will be going twice a week now along with my drumming and daily walking to and from campus (40min)

7. Fashion
My fashion has improved significantly since I started but I will keep working on this area to refine my style.

8. Theory and Selective Ignorance
I’ve read a good amount of theory in the past six months, but not focused. Selection of possible reads include:

Start Up
The Single Most Important Thing to get Beyond AA
The Transparent Approach
Revive Your Sex Drive
Rob Judge’s Four Elements of Game
Models by Mark Manson
Love Systems Guide to Daytime Gaming
NLP Anchoring

Inner Game
Hypnotica’s Collection of Confidence
Hypnotica’s Ultimate Inner Game
No More Mr Nice Guy
The Way of the Superior Man
Mode One

Conversation
DiCarlo Drills
Conversation Cure (DiCarlo)
How to Talk to Anyone – 21 secrets

Miscellanious
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Influence
Pandora’s Box (DiCarlo)
Stealth Seduction (Gambler)
Magic Bullets
What Everybody is Saying
Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless & Hopeful
Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time
The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature
The Secret Garden
Sperm Wars
Atlas Shrugged
An Introduction to NLP
Frogs into Princes
Mastering Your Inner Self: A guide to the HUNA Way
Stylelife Challenge for Cold Reading, Abolishing AA (p48)
Bookmarked Webpages
Soporno’s videos

Theory will ONLY be read to solve sticking points I’m currently experiencing or focus on my weekly target area. I will focus on specific problems for weeks or months at a time (depending on the problem) to isolate and fix it. I will still read other LRs/FRs because I find them motivating/entertaining, and a few side articles and videos. Lair talks are allowed. Side books for interest and inner game are allowed. However, no e-books, or serious theory unless used to solve a problem currently being experienced.
The list is a possible selection, I most likely won’t even look at most of it, focusing more on expanding my knowledge in other areas.

9. Follow-Up Game Updates
Summarized and all text/phone conversations noted for critique and analysis will be posted.

10. Thoughts
Thoughts of my current progress, how I feel, etc., to be noted.

11. Journal
I’ve always had a daily journal, but stopped posting every post after a while. My state, thoughts, triumphs, fuck-ups, goals… everything, will be posted. This is mainly to get feedback but also to track my own progress. I need guidance and I need help moving along the right path. State will be noted each day for approaching and during the day.

12. Miscellaneous
Keep expanding my social circle, cutting back on things that aren’t constructive (TV, YouTube, etc.).

13. Feedback
Everyone who is reading this and feels they can input constructively, PLEASE do. Again, I really need help and am asking for your support, advice, and constructive criticism in getting this area of my life handled. Pick apart my approaches, what I say, what I convey… Whatever you think I could work on.

Tentative Schedule
Opening and Approaching Phase
Weeks 1-2 – Comfort in daygaming alone, getting used to schedule, consistent completion of approaches, state control
Week 3 – Threading and conversational mapping, extending conversations [identified weakness]
Week 4 – Banter in conversations
Week 5 – Body language, vocal projection and tonality
Week 6 – Eye contact, smiling
Week 7 – Pushing boundaries (multiple sets in day game, mixed sets, ridiculous openers, going in to get blown out, pushing the interaction, solo night game)

Conversational Phase
+1 approach minimum daily
Week 8 – 80-20 me vs. her conversation to begin, 50-50 after hook point. Statement-focused with little questions.
Building Attraction [identified weakness]
Week 9 – Attraction 1: Banter, humour
Week 10 – Attraction 2: Role-play, future projections, role reversal
Week 11 – Attraction 3: Push-pull (hedging compliments), cocky funny, nicknames
Week 12 – Attraction 4: Cold reads
Week 13 – Qualification and disqualification

Week 14 – Break. No new sets opened, no going out for pick-up, no dates. Reflection and review.

Kino Phase
+1 approach minimum daily
Weeks 15-16 – General kino, connecting kino and qualification, kino pinging (red, yellow, green lights)

Advanced Phase
Weeks 17-18 – Asking logistical questions to lead to insta-dates or SNLs
Week 19 – Frame control


The plan is subject to change and additions as time goes on. I welcome any feedback you have on how I might need to alter this, or if I’ve missed anything. By consistently approaching and refining specific skills each week, I hope to finally achieve my first large goal: losing my v-card, and start to really experience women. Hope you all will join me along in this, it’s gonna be an interesting ride!

Here’s to success.


I will post what I have done up to now (approx a week and a half worth). Please feel free to read through so far, or jump to the current time

Week 1
- Comfort in daygaming alone
- Getting used to schedule
- Consistent completion of approaches
- State control

Day 1 – Monday November 7th, 2011
1 approach, 0 closes


State
4 hours of sleep from a big drinking night on the clock rollover… Tired and agitated, but it’s time to begin.

Theory
NLP Anchoring
From the suggestion of Devlin, I looked into NLP Anchoring for state control. Quite interesting stuff; definitely worth reading if anyone is interested in controlling their emotions or wants to have a boost of a certain one at a given time. I’ve anchored confidence for now; will keep working at this over the week to aim to get it well engrained.

Conditioning
In classic training, rewards and punishments are given to train someone or something, to carry out a certain action. Humans are succeptible and we’ve been conditioned to certain things without even realizing it. To certain vocal tones from individuals, to feelings, etc. For me, I flick the inside of my wrist when I don’t approach… Small amount of pain to say “stop being a pussy”. Might try an elastic band as well.


Daily Set
I set out to do my first daily set alone. I did some state building approaches (time, where’s the nearest place to grab food) but even with these questions I was passing up sets. If you’ve never gamed alone, go do it. There’s no one to push you into sets, to tell you off for not approaching, to drown out that little voice in your head… It’s just you and your mind. All the while I was walking around with so many thoughts “Oh this one might be good, wait no, it might go bad” on and on and on. I wanted to crush the person inside my head.

I walked around Ryerson campus, through to the Eaton Centre. I see a set and after walking behind her for 20 seconds I activate my anchor and start running towards her.

She heads into a bra shop so I decide better not to run in there… Stop hesitating.
I wanted to build more social momentum so I walked into a store and chatted up the sales girl to get more conversation juices flowing. I ended up doing some quick shopping, even though I knew I was here to approach. It’s now been an hour and I still haven’t done a proper one.

Fuck this. I originally set one hour to do my approach, this is bull shit. I have 10minutes to do an approach. I’m rushing around, trying to find one. I see a girl, pacing slowly near the exit. Cute, HB7. I walk out of the Eaton Centre… Wait no fuck this, time to approach, no more bs. I go in direct, I get a smile and her name. I’ve just succeeded, fuck whatever else happens. Turns out the girl was from Turkey waiting for some friends. My convo definitely sucked here, no lie about that haha. It was mainly questions, and I could visibly see her pulling out of the set. Things like “You don’t ever get told how cute you are? You seem startled.” Ask her how long she’ll be in Toronto for. 2 more days. Go for close for a coffee. No dice. Not surprised, I leave.

Oh man was I happy to do that. Something that really hit home with me when I overlook my time in game is that as men, we never regret approaches we do, no matter how bad they go. Only the ones we DON’T do. Think about it… Have you ever regretted one? Even if you got blown out bad? I know I don’t regret a single one, and I’ve had some pretty bad beats.

Day 2 – Tuesday November 8th, 2011
1 approach, 0 closes

State
Still crappy sleep. Seems like it might continue like this for a while.
I wanted to do my first one hour session today. After class I hung out with some of my Uni friends and ate lunch, then at 1:00PM I headed out. God my mind is chattering away. I’m surprised at how empty the campus is walking along… I expected it to be clustered full of people, but not so much. I’m running successful past approaches in my head (Psycho Cybernetics). There goes a set. Punishment. Another one… another one. Oh god chick in leather jacket, dyed hair. There’s another girl behind her… So what?! They’re not fucking together the other one will just walk past. Oh here comes one, wait she’s followed by some guys, I don’t wanna do it, what if she blows me off. Fucking bullshit excuses and fucking inner voice. My wrist was killing me at the end of this from having missed so many sets. After 30min I decided fuck it, I’ll go again after.

Seminar for an hour. Head out and it’s another hour of the same crap. God gaming alone is such a different beast… I’m so used to having someone with me to keep my mind focused on the task at hand and occupying me from “what if” scenarios. Another hour passes, I still haven’t done one direct approach. I’ve spent 1.5hours on this today, breaking my rule again. I have to head to an appointment at Eaton Centre so I leave, pissed.

After my appointment I say to myself “Fine I won’t do a session today, but I’m getting one done”.


Daily Set
Walk up the escalator. Cute asian HB7.5 with the nerd glasses you can tell are just for show. You’re getting approached. She was leaning on the railing listening to music. I walk up in front of her and initially she just looks at me, but I just stand there and smile. She takes her headphones out. Direct opener. Big smile, get her name (Marianne).

N: That’s an interesting name, what’s the background behind it?
HB: I… don’t know.
N: You don’t know the background behind your own name? Wow that’s a first, I’ve never heard that before.
HB: Haha well I think it’s like French or something… Not sure.

This conversation was better than yesterday’s, much more casual and relaxed.

N: So what are you up to? (immediately lock in beside her leaning against the rail, not pecking into her).

I can tell by the way she’s talking that she seems reasonably comfortable; at least in her tonality.

HB: Oh I’m just waiting for my friends.
N: I bet you’re about to do some shopping.
HB: Haha no I just finished work, we’re going to eat.
N: Oh yeah? You look like the creative type, I bet you work in fashion.
HB: [She smiles] Well… yeah, retail.
N: Oh yeah where at?
HB: Hmm I don’t usually tell people where I work.
N: Oh it’s a secret eh? The world’s gonna explode if you tell anyone. That’s fine I like the world the way it is. So tell me about you, what else do you do besides the secret retail? School?
HB: Nah not for me, just work for now.

Honestly bitched out here, I could’ve kept going but pulled the “I gotta run” card and tried for a close. When she went “Hmmmm” I said immediately something to the effect of “Oh you know what that’s cool, I’m not all for the iffy thing.” “Haha yeah sorry”. “It was nice meeting you!” “You too”.


Slowly improving, but the fact that I couldn’t get my session done and had to try multiple times is quite un-nerving and annoying. Perhaps getting used to gaming alone is going to take more effort than I thought. In the past I’ve always had a wing or an instructor with me to talk to and push me. I’ve definitely developed dependency that needs to be gotten rid of. I want to be able to approach women throughout my life without having someone beside me.

It’s possible saying “I must do my one approach at this time” or “I must do 5 sets in this set hour” is putting so much pressure on me that I shut off. But for the 5 sets I want to use momentum to carry me along. As time goes on this will get easier… This is all outside my comfort zone right now, growth is happening.

I need to get back to the good old 3-second rule. Don’t think, just go.


Visualization Points
- Stay in set. You can always ask a question, extend the conversation. Do not leave until they say they have to, and even if they do, plow.

Day 3 – Wednesday November 9th, 2011
5 approaches, 1 close, 1 insta-date

State
Fucking woken up at 6AM by garbage truck outside my condo… Stupid by laws. Oh well, keep pushing. From the stress of getting this going I noticed I had a break out of acne as well, lowered the confidence a bit but fuck it.

But now we’re talking. Had two meetings at school… Noticed I was pretty relaxed but soft spoken during them, probably because I was tired. But I had decided to do one of my sessions today, and after the abysmal performance yesterday, I had work to do.


Day Game Session
I noticed I was a lot more relaxed than the two previous days… No idea why. Maybe because of starting to approach again after a couple of weeks of now my brain’s just getting used to it again. No complaints here. One state building approach for the time. Keep walking, there’s a set. She’s crossing the road, oh it’s been too long I don’t wanna seem like a creep… Missed. Then there was another, I let it go for a few seconds then said fuck it, time to get going.

Set #1
Direct opener, approaching from behind. Fucking cute HB7.5, leather jacket… I don’t know why I just love the leather jackets on girls. She smiles and I get her name. She has to run… I was a bit caught up in nervousness so I forgot to ABC, but man did I feel better after this. Already doing way better than the past two days.

Visualization Points
- Close it

See some OK sets but nothing that really grabbed me.

Set #2
Next a HB7 blond. Wait a bit, go.

“Excuse me! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you but I just saw you and thought you were super cute… I had to come meet you”

Big fucking smile and laugh, win. Yes I want closes but if I can connect with women, I’m pushing forward. I notice she’s got a diamond piercing in her tooth, wtf you can put piercings anywhere.

N: Woah what is that?
HB: Oh it’s a piercing! I got it when I was in Europe
N: Oh experiencing a bit of the culture eh? What were you doing over there?
HB: I was on exchange!

She won’t stop smiling and giggling, but her body language is pretty closed.

N: Oh that’s so awesome. Hmm… you know you seem like the creative type. You must be in arts.
HB: Haha no actually.
N: Really? What then?
HB: Life science.
N: Ohh the total opposite. Everyone I talk to seems to be going into that. But tell me… What can you do with that after you’re done?
HB: Well I plan on going into med school.

Go for a bit more and ask her what she’s up to. She’s off to class. I say let’s walk I don’t want you to be a late. She drops the bf card. Right now my strategy is not pushing through it, though that’s going to change down the line. I need to engrain tpick’s line in my head, which is hilarious “Yeah and so do I… That’s why we’ll have to keep this *point to you and her*”. I don’t want to waste time pushing through it, so right now I’m just up front, and say something to the effect of, “You know what I appreciate you being honest and straight forward with me, I don’t like people who bullshit. It was super fun meeting you have an awesome day!”. Before I used to close under the pretense of “friends” but fuck that, I don’t need more numbers… I need committed closes that are actually interested.

Set #3
See this HB7.5 blond walk out of the UofT building along Philosopher’s walk. Bright red scarf and purple glasses I remember… This one girl was between us and my mind started giving bs excuses, but as soon as it said “There’s someone in the way” the girl turned and cut across the path. Sign much? After some hesitation went up and stopped her, and injected all the emotion I could into it:

“Hey, didn’t mean to startle you. You know I saw you over there and was kind of nervous coming up, but I thought you were super cute and I had to meet you!”

Smile, body turns towards me. Good to go. Talk about what she’s up to, just out of class going to eat lunch. Where? At Subway. Ohh very classy (a bit of poking fun at her). Logistics reasonably handled. Find out she’s in music, violin. So I talk about how my sister was in music too and how I love music and engineering, but I honestly was never sure if I could make a living just doing music. She agrees and said it’s hard, but you have to find things. Like what? Orchestra or teaching mainly.

Lightbulb goes on in my head, let’s try something different. I say I’m walking her way, let’s walk and talk. It’s a go. First insta-date! Walking a bit talking more about school and whatnot, just some fluff, nothing too serious.

When I get to the split point I do break off the interaction… I should have kept going here, I think again it was a comfort thing. I felt the interaction was slowly waining (conversation stopped) so I wanted to try and break off to save face. I will correct this, have to push and keep going until the girl says she has to leave. I tell her I have to walk the other way but “How would you feel about grabbing coffee sometime?” I think I was actually pretty nervous so I might have said “How would you feel about fabbing cobbee sometime?” hahahahaha. She says sure, I ask her how to spell her name and she goes into how it has two js (Julija) so I give her the phone and she puts it in. Ask her about the background and she says Russian. While she’s typing I want to keep her logical mind busy

N: Is it true what they say about Russians?
HB: (She smiles and looks up) What do they say about Russians?
N: That they can handle their alcohol.

Better response would have been just to say “Nothhhing” and smile. But she laughs and goes on with it. Unfortunately while she’s putting the number in she says she has a bf, but is down for new friends or whatever. Don’t know if it’s the truth but meh! Say our goodbyes and I move on. Text her and I got a response back, nothing too special though.

Visualization Points
- Playing with the Russian line
- Shouldn’t have left and gone to Subway with her and done a full insta-date while she was getting lunch. This was a huge mistake on my part, Boyfriend or not. Experience on dates is necessary right now.

There was a bit of lull between this set and the next, I did miss a few.

Set #4
Best set of the day, and it wasn’t even a close! I see this HB7 blond walking by, bright red jacket that caught my eye. I tried to get eye contact but couldn’t, fuck it who cares going in! Direct, open, hooked, smiling, go! I can’t remember this chick’s name but it was really different. Asked her about it and when she said Irish I went into asking about what language they spoke over there. Gailic. Can she speak it? No they don’t really teach it there anymore it’s mostly English now…

N: Unless you’re looking at those really ancient textbooks though eh?
HB: Haha yeah.
N: So what are you up to?
HB: I’m actually just heading to class.
N: Oh right now? I don’t want you being late.
HB: Nono in an hour, just wanted to go to the library… So much work to do.
N: I know right, welcome to school.
HB: Well I…

*Cut her off, frame control* and kept talking, with some more conversation. Went for the close and she told me she was seeing someone. I said I respect her for telling me, but as long as I made her smile than I’m happy. And she said:

“You did I’m really flattered, I wish more people told me that”.

Win, I don’t even care about not closing. “Seeing someone” or not that girl’s gonna be smiling for a week and telling all her friends.

Set #5
This was my hardest set. There was this super hot HB9 I spotted at the UofT centre park and I hesitated… for a long time. She grabbed her stuff from the bench and I started to follow her, she left out of sight and I said damn, next one, but then I saw her crossing the street. Fuck it chase her. Direct opener, hooked, smile. Asked her what she was up to and a bunch of word diarrhea came out of her mouth, she definitely wasn’t expecting this. Awesome :p.

HB: Well… I was… gonna ummm
N: You’ve lost your composure haven’t you
HB: Haha maybe.

Got the bf card soon after though. Thank her for being forward, and I leave.


MAJOR improvement from the past two days. These 5 sets took 40minutes, and unlike the past days I wasn’t running around super quickly trying to get everything done. I took my time, relaxed, and approached. Sure I missed a few, but I’m happy with my results for today. Bought myself a cool scarf and something for my apartment as a reward (conditioning).


Follow-Up Game
Julija, from above
N 2:58PM: It was super fun meeting you. Hope you enjoyed your extravagant lunch ;p
J 4:35PM: Yes thanks it was exquisite. Hope the rest of your day goes well.

Luke-warm response, but she accepted the hook and played with it. Wonder if there actually is a bf or because I might have messed up the set she’s not interested anymore. Hm.

S, from the Day 2
Monday November 7th
N 9:58AM: Ugh I need a sugar iv. Can’t believe you get a break, kind of hate you a bit :p
S 7:43PM: Meh I just studied the whole day, not much to be jealous about
Tuesday November 8th
N 12:46PM: You’ve got to use your break for something other than just work, All work and no play… Maybe painting some poodles would energize u :p [callback humour, light innuendo]
S 5:22PM: Haha no thanks, im good without the poodles
N 6:26PM: Was fun, don’t think I’ve been to an art gallery since I was a kid. And the guided tour of the different art styles was… decent
S 8:30PM: Thanks..i think lol. I wasn’t trying to give you a tour since most people find that annoying
N 8:50PM: No I appreciated it. I might know when I like something that I see, but learning about what constitutes each variety and style of art is really interesting to me… Or maybe it’s just that I love learning about new things. I’m sure you know that feeling.

No response now. Mistake here is that I’m not moving forward, I need to be strategically firing to set up another date. Texting is not a communication medium, it is a means to an end. Input would be appreciated of how to handle this.


All I have to say after today is realize all the excuses you are putting up in approaching are just that… excuses. Mental bullshit that you’re putting up trying to keep your ego from getting hurt. There’s only one way to get better with women, and that’s by approaching and learning about them.