this isnt one of those happy stories guys. it ends in hardship and a case of blue balls

it all began when a mate and I were holidaying at hawaii. we were playing soccer on the beach at night and we saw a party going on. I thought about opening them but i didnt want to be a dick and crash their party. This didnt end up being a problem since as we were playing a few girls (pretty average) kept walking past our soccer game. I took this as close proximity so the next time one made eye contact with me, i gave her a smile and after that she and her friend kept doing happy laps around our game.
they eventually return to their group and a guy from their group comes up to
G: hey can i ask you a question?
NV: sure go for it
G: are you gay?
NV: nahh mate
(little did i realise he was gay but thats another story)

so me and the guy end up making small talk and my mate and I end up hanging with them for a bit. Turns out this group of people were from Brazil, and boy do they know how to party. Now in a group of 7, there were 3 HB8's but they couldnt speak a work of english. However there were 3 people in that group who spoke it quite well so they made perfect translators. which worked in my favour

HB: *point to her HB friend* My friend wants to kiss you
NV: no worries

and so i ended up K-closing. me and the HB had little communication. mainly it was shouting out band names and seeing if we knew them or not, or singing along to queen songs. Eventually she took my hand and started taking me towards her room. once we got into the elevator, she pressed the emergency stop button, and without getting into too much detail, lets just say thats when the fun began

when the elevator eventually started up again, it stops at her floor. once the door opens theres a woman in front of us and a look of shock passes her face (the HB had her top off). it turns out, this woman was the HB's mum and since i dont know any portugese i have no idea what was said, although i think i understood the gist of it. after a torrent of foreign abuse, the mother takes her daughter and i was left in the elevator, dazed and with a case of the blueballs

and so thats my field report. I think i have to finish what i started and hopefully F-close a brazillian next time