Hi,

I don’t know if I should be posting this here, as I did disregarded many of the basic rules of PUA in this case, but I’m new to all of this and I wanted to get your opinion about last night’s occurrences – which left me seeking for an explanation.

I met this HB8 at friend’s house in SF about a month ago. She was going back to LA the day after, and when she heard I was going to be visiting LA for a few weeks the month after that she gave me her number told me to call her when I am in the city and meet.

A few days later she even wrote again on my facebook wall, reminding me to call her when I get to LA.

When I got to LA, I made contact and suggested she come to a show to me. She was enthusiastic about it. So enthusiastic, in fact, that on the day of the show, when we talked on the phone, she was already talking about the time we will meet afterwards.

I have to admit that I was a bit intrigued as to why she was sooo interested in me and enthusiastic, not because I’m not worth it, but since when we first met we didn’t have much time to converse, or for me to demonstrate value. However, based on all the signs I’ve been getting I assumed that she is interested – in fact, almost over-keen.

The girl I’m talking about makes a very insecure impression, so on our “date” (We didn’t call it that) to the show I didn’t really try to neg her. (I have also been uncomfortable with negging in the past. Maybe because I’m such a positive guy. But that’s a different issue.). I assumed there was no need for it, since she seemed to seek my validation anyway. I was definitely topdog with everything that related to conversation and opinions about stuff. I just acted confidently and we did have a good time but whenever I made physical contact she backed off. When I put my hand on her, or when I took her hand in my hand she seemed to be uncomfortable – even though I was comfortable and I feel that I acted with self-confidence.

By the time we got back to my place (She was the one driving, since I’m not from the city and don’t have a car) I was pretty confused about the signals she was sending me. I suggested we go up and that I wanted to show her something, and she seemed to think about it but after we didn’t find parking for like 1 minute, she gave up – said she had an headache (Which I think she might have actually have had).

I could have used a time limit or pushed for it more – but I was a bit tired myself, and just felt that since she seemed uncomfortable with physical connection, there was not much point to it. I didn’t know how to overcome her objections, and if that is even desirable.

Still, before we said goodbye, she suggested we meet again.

So what’s up? Is she just weird? Are these mixed signals or what? Is she looking for “just a friend”? What should I have done differently? What should I do now?

First of all, I'd like to congratulate you on displaying confidence. Having confidence is the key to developing the social skills needed to succeed in the field.

It seems that you did well when it came down to establishing your dominance, but it also seems as though you forgot to create attraction. You may have just come off as a very assertive friend.

Maybe you should consider incorporating negs into repetoire; they are necessarily "negative". Hear me out. Negs are just playful shots you take at whoever you're talking to in order to inspire attraction by making her feel as though she must work to get you. People want what they can't have, and negs put you in position to be the prize. Use them and other DHV tactics to create attraction , so that you can draw women in and make them want to meet the real you. You can slow down the negging once you have whoever you're gaming's attention.

Sexual framing can help create attraction as well.