So I moved to the suburbs from a pretty big city (3millon) and realised that I would have to change schools. In the following text I will try to write everything that happend to me yet.

First class: I started the year with a Spanish class. I was the first to get to class and got to talk to the teacher. She asked me were did I learn spanish and I told her that I used to live in Argentina (though I'm not argentinian). So I sat in the back of the class waiting for people to arrive. Suddenly the bell rang and people started getting in. First non-HBS got in and I've got a little disappointed. But then a sudden wave of HBS and what looked O.K to befriend guys came in. I told myself that I got to make friends with them all.

Now some random girl sat next to me (not hb) and sad HI, I replied. Then another girl, which looked pretty cute to me sat just infront. They both began talking to me and asked some question so I did couple jokes, I think this has shown some social proof. The teacher told everybody about me bla bla bla, and we got to do this thing where we had to ask people from the class about what they did during the summer. So after asking that random girl sitting next to me, I decided to hit the HBS.


So I picked a random one (they were in a kind of set)and in a funny way I began asking her questions. She gave me a IOI (laugh) and on her turn asked about me. So we talked a bit with the set and got to know each other a little bit.


Now the girl sitting next to me (which I dont really like, i mean shes not my style of friend but w.e) invited me to join eat dinner with her friends. I accepted made some social proof etc.


DAYYY 2-- People didnt seem interested in me anymore, though they were giving me IOIs yesterday. I got invited to dinner again but forgot that yesterday a girl asked me to join her too. So w.e, I ate with the same people again and realised they were not the kind of people I'd like to spend the year around.



Now this addresses everyone of you. Could you please help me out on something to say/open/befriend the ''cool'' people in class? I mean the guys/ HBS etc. I have gym tomorrow and I think its a good oportunity to make friends with people.


Im a Sophomore btw.

HELP IS VERYYYYY APRECIATED

bump

come on guys

tbh in hs you need to just be confident. espcially in the first week or two. go up to the hbs and talk. most guy wont talk to them so ull be one of the only ones and they will talk back.. DONT BE A ERVOUS KID it wont work. and tbh i dont think being yourself is great either in most cases. unless you're naturally super confident and flirty.

agreed, confidence... don't make time to "go talk to the cool kids" ... just make some observation comments, share a few lines, and break it off... don't think because you had a conversation that you're part of the group and spend all gym period and spares tracking them down... be doing your own thing but see yourself as a "cool kid" that just got transplanted into the new school... "cool cliques" see everyone trying too hard to be their friends all the time, you need to be indifferent about it at first... it's a highwire act... you only get one chance for a first impression

Here's my take on high school game. I don't really know how this post will go so try to take what I say and translate it to your own experience:

High school game is all about social circles. You're right in trying to get into the "cool" circle, but be careful with that. If you try to force yourself in, you'll be a value-taker, and a hanger-on, not someone people would willingly choose to hang out with. Instead, go when you get invited places and be cool to everyone. Your goal is to have everyone like you, and want to initiate conversations with you.

In dealing with the cool crowd, sit with them when possible, make it clear that you want to be part of the group, but never force conversation. Talk when you want to, or have something interesting to say, but never feel like you're doing more work than they are.

You want to be friends with multiple circles, think of yourself as a bridge between groups. If possible, be the mediator between a conversation between two people of different circles. You'll come off as the confident guy who talks to the people the other one isn't necessary comfortable talking to.

Focus 100% on what's going on at that moment. Read the Power of Now for elaboration on this, I've tried to do it justice in so many posts but I never can.

Be friendly ALWAYS. Don't give yourself any time to be gloomy, project positive social energy constantly.

good call by Slip... in high school you want to be a "floater" (heavily described in the book "The Geeks Shall Inherit The Earth" ... ideally you should want to become the "mayor" of your school ... be friends with the cool clique but don't become a part of it exclusively... you mentioned souring on the group that invited you to sit with them, which is a bad call, don't alienate anyone...

high school game is tricky as Slip said, since you're within the same people every day