Hellhound said:

"Also prepare a verbal and nonverbal routine to number close for a day 2 in case you don't see any nonverbal cues for the kiss close. When your killer instincts are not yet sharp, you'll need these verbal and nonverbal routines until everything becomes automatic when you see the trigger nonverbal cues for each specific reaction."

As for the verbal routines to get a number close, I believe I have experience on that field and that I do so almost automatically. This is something I`ve already managed before, but you got me at nonverbal routines.

Are you referring to the act of handing over my phone the a girl in order for her to put her number on it? Can you give me some examples so I can understand it a bit more?

Last night events: 24/8/2013


In my country this night is "special"; it`s called "Nostalgic night" and it`s made mostly for grown ups 50+ years old, with oldies and expensive meals and buzz in order for them to have fun and go out with their wives.
I wasn`t expecting to go out, but one of my buddys invites me to this private party at a gym, turns out the owner of the gym decided that people should bring the alcohol and the place was a nice party.

So I arrive and I see some beautys, alcohol is for free since you bring something to the party, in my case a bottle of rum. Any pirates reference? Lol.

Anyway, it toke me a while to get comfortable on the venue; I started noticing how defensive I tend to get on places you are there to dance. This must be related to the fact that I don`t know a single move on dancing, and girls must notice this. Not only that I don`t know how to dance, but that I`m not having a blast as I should, and that`s the most important part.

So my man knows a few girls, I introduce myself to them, we make a group and dance and drink, I start to have a good time after a few beers. I never got to the point of getting drunk, wich is amazing because yesterday I noticed I don`t really need it in order to have fun and communicate a fun vibe to everyone.

The strongest point of my game last night was eye conctact, after I got in and have a beer I went to check the place, some girls made heavy eye contact with me and I kept it for really long, first look she`s in front of me, and as I`m passing by our eyes are still looking at each others, so with a smile on my face I walked by knowing there were girls checking me out and I liked em.

Anyway, after being a bit social with the girls my buddy knew I decided to make an approach.

The best side of this is that this was a hot girl, not as my usual start that I approach 6`s or 7`s, this was an 8 or a 9. I really liked her.

She was having a drink and I noticed she finished it; I wanted to dance with her at first. The place wasn`t crowded at this point, people was going out. My line: "So, are you done with that drink?"

She: This drink? Oh, I had tons more and I`m berely starting.
Me: Nice! Wanna head to the bar with me and change that?
She: Oh no, that`s ok. Leave me here.

I ejected.

Things I noticed:

1. My ego gets a boost out of girls checking me out, but this is not something I`m really going after for. I`m in here for the lay and the day`s 2, I want to be all in. But some part of me gets a satisfaction out of girls simply checking me out.

2. After all these years I still get nerveous at dancing venues, wich means I`m doing something terrible wrong: not enjoying myself there.
At first I thought if I did it enough I would eventually be comfty at social venues and dancing ones, but I was wrong and this must end.

3. I need to lear how to dance, there is no point on going out to bars and nightclubs if you are too shy to ask girls for a dance knowing you will fuck it up.

4. I need to lear how to interact more casually and pick up related with girls, that attempt on the girl of isolating her to the bar was lame. I already had better ones and I know the difference. Those kind of attemps must be out of my dictionary once and for all.

5. I need a lesson on being humble. I was working last thursday and I had a nice talk with a female partner, she`s an arquitect and after 2 years finally she and I are getting along. Girl is almost merried by now, I told her I was going out and she recommended me to be more humble when approaching girls. That I give off thise know it all vibe and way too cocky people tend to hate, when on the inside I`m actually not that bad of a guy. She said this giving me the example that after 2 years she and I finally get along.

6. This is a huge decision; I don`t really know if I`m doing the right thing with this or not, but I believe it`s time for me to remove myself from the night venue.
To be honest, last night events showed me how little I`ve learned over the years, and that I should be practicing something that I don`t at the venue.
So I was thinking perhaps one of my reader have a nice advice on gaming maybe at day time at my law school or at parks and how to consistantly do so, this is of course on the habit of learning to interact socially and be comfty with it.
I`m thinking about taking a time out to learn how to dance, how to talk, and how to read body lenguage and get more confidence before undermining my results by still going out and not learning shit.

I believe in me, I believe I can pull this and once I do this will be so easy. But I`m not there yet, I`ve learned some but toke me a really long time and I finally understand I must be more process oriented and trying stuff conciously and regularly to learn.

Sincerely,
Bond.

Ok you did the right thing here, and you even followed Hellhound's advice about getting a closing routine, the problem is you did it too early! Think of the advice Kasabi put on my journal - that he also linked you to; removing fear and building excitement, you did none of those here. Why should she come with a guy to a new bar that has said 2 things to her while all her friends are here? In fact if she actually went with you when you know nothing about her what if after the first few conversations you realised you just didn't like her at all? You seem very focused on getting any girl rather than a girl that's right for you (you mentioned about being there only for day 2's but I would say this still applies for the one night stand, do you really want to sleep with a girl that will ultimately piss you off?)

This may help emphasise the remove fear point as well:
what-is-the-best-way-to-ask-for-her-pho ... ght=number
Ok yes humility will help you and make you come across less arrogant. But what I mean is analyse your own behaviour, why do you think you come across cocky and as a know it all?
Just build a structured routine combining the advice of your peers, I think something simple will work for you.
Day 2= remove fear, then build excitement, find a day 2 that relates to their excitement (in particular I'm referring to Kasabi's advice about the travelling in Greece example)
ONS= remove fear, build excitement, find a new venue that relates to their excitement there and then to isolate them.

I don't know if this^ works but it's what I've personally put together and trying out.

As far as day game goes, it's exactly the same 'Day 2' formula I'm trying out. The only thing is you need an opener, I would suggest just going to the place where you want to approach and just get comfy there, and look at some of the women and find some openers (I would suggest what I did it's on the 1st page and 7th post of my journal).

Also Daniel Balboa suggested this to me which might help you:

_________________
My Journal is thoughts on life game and approaches: artful-roger-journal-vt148980.html

This will be your first nonverbal routine. Practice it many times in front of the mirror and infield until it becomes reflexive; you don't have to think about it.

To understand why you have to learn this nonverbal routine, jump to the post: 'Why the Eyefuck Routine Works' and see the science behind it, here: how-to-make-a-woman-fall-in-love-with-y ... 89-15.html

To practice how to do it, jump to the post with an image of an eye, here: how-to-make-a-woman-fall-in-love-with-y ... 89-60.html

The gist goes this way. You catch a girl looking at you for more than 5 seconds. You mirror the way she looks at you long enough until she pulls her gaze down and brings it up again. You close the distance by around 2 feet. Say your short opener, then start eyefucking her. You can leverage the interaction with humor to spike up the attraction some more (if you want to learn the science behind this and look at the study, click here and go to Timo's post: post789691.html#p789691) or you can choose to remain silent and simply eyefuck her. Next, get her number.

If she is a masculine female type, you can say something like, "Can I have your number so we can have fun together some time?"

If she is a feminine female type, you can say something like, "Let's exchange numbers so we can have fun some time."

"Let's..." is a masculine set of words while "Can I..." is a feminine set of words. The first one is action oriented while the second one is permission oriented.

So when should you number close? When you're both eyefucking each other for more than 10 seconds, go for the number close. To increase your odds of a successful number close, you can always inject humor so the girl knows that you're a fun person that's worthwhile of her time and won't bore her during a date.
You need to understand that women can be classified into a gradient: feminine and masculine. If you want to attract the feminine women types, you don't have to change a thing with your current vibe. It's masculine. Feminine women are attracted to masculine men.

On the other hand, if you need to interact with people in your line of work, you'll have to adapt to the masculine females around you so you'll have greater success in your career. Use sentences like: "Sorry, what's that again?" "May I have your opinion about this because..." "Can I do this, if it's okay with you?"

If you want to know why you have to adapt your vibe depending on the female type you're interacting with (at work versus during seduction for instance), read up on Role Theory, here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Role_theory

In short, with feminine women, be a masculine man. With masculine women, be an effeminate man that they can dominate.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Excellent info on both artfulroger`s and Hellhound`s advices. I have to check every piece of that advice out and make my own conclussions on both before posting on each advice, because I`m sure I`ll have questions.

Towards kasabi advice: even thou it`s a really simple guide towards getting my goals and easy to follow, I still find it a bit confusing on the field and since the man himself adviced me on trying Chief`s old guides to outer game, that`s m y plan to stick with for the next sarges. I have already read both guides a long time ago, but never pulled the balls to actually do it from step one to the last.

Gotta admit I have a really HARD time applying sexual STF and other things he tryies to illustrate with words, but I believe it would be awesome to learn it by watching someone else do it in front of me.

To the actualy field report: This is last friday`s events.

I have a coworker`s birthday at a night club, I love the idea and I`m deffinitevely going there, even at the same time my country football selection is playing a high stakes game with Perú.

So I arrive to the venue. Already tons of people I barely know in the birthday girl group.
I`ll have to adress this particular girl because besides her being a HB 8.5; she has an attitude of a HB 10 and it`s hard to get.

I already know this because the first time I met her was at this coworker`s place, having some drinks before us all hitting the same venue, and she turned out to shit test my male friend I toke there and me a lot, my friend kinda toke it personal; I tryied to keep both partyies on a friendly side.

As I was saying: I arrive, this girl is near to me so I say hi first to a guy who was sitting with her, then a girl I never met, and then this girl. She was at an almost unreachable place, so in order to kiss her cheek and say hi to her I was kinda losing my balance by having one feet on the ground and the other on the air.

She sees me and says to me: I know you from before. And waits for my reaction without kissing my cheek.
I say to her: I`d appraciate if you don`t leave me hanging for long. I kiss her cheek and move to the next girl.

As I`m walking to the next girl, I hear her asking her male friend: What did he just said to me? She obviously never noticed I was sating in one feet, so I explained myself to her and she said ok. Her male friend said to her he couldn`t listen what I`ve said.

I find this important because after that neg, that girl was checking me out. I kept a strong eye contact for just a couple of seconds two or three different times. She must have a different image of me now, or at least that`s what my goal was.

Anyway, to the actual opener: I merely did one.
There is this other girl with whom I work with, she teases me and I tease her just a bit. She has a boyfriend and is happy with him, that`s why I believe she only wants to tease other guys and feed her ego out of it. A reason that makes me hate her on the inside, but I play the game.

So she sees a blonde playing pool next to us, she looks at me and says to me: Look Bond, there is a crazy blonde, and believe me: you want a crazy chick for you.
I ask her: Why? Do you have experience on the subject? With a smirk on my face. She laughs, blah blah; and then I ask her what`s in it for me if I get the blonde`s number?

She asks me what do I want? (This was a sexual favour trap, she wanted me to fall in for it; so I simply said I wanted a beer paid by her).

She agrees, so I go in.

The girl was giving me her back, so I tip on her shoulder and she turns. Opener: Hi! My name`s Bond, what`s yours?

She never says a thing, puts like a weird face, and turns back and keeps playing pool.
In my city venues you`ll often find chicks like these. Those kind of girls makes me wanna hate game and women, because what the fuck is wrong about being polite back to a guy who is merely introducing himself to you?

Just makes me sick, but I keep trying anyway.

So this is simply my last field report, I know doing only one approach was not good; but I was focused on dancing with the birthday girl, make her have a blast with me around, and dance with the coworker that challenged me on the approach.

Bond out.

How you all doing? It`s been a long time since my last entry.

Lets start from the beginning: Last wednesday

I was at my work place, all normal and easy. My coworkers and I finished all the job we had for the day so we were chillaxin at the common table to eat we have; next to that room there is a little kitchen.

So I`m at the kitchen washing a fork when this girl comes in, moves me away and washes something of hers. I say to her something like: Whoa! Take it easy there.
Then she puts her lips in a position as to give a peck on my lips and I move in closer, she falls back.
So I say to her: Ahh! You chicken!
Her: Me? Nah, not me. See? And she puts again her lips in that position. I move in, peck on lips and no other coworker noticed it.

Reason why I didn`t posted this entry that same day was because we arrenged to meet on saturday (It was yesterday); but first things first.

Last friday events:

On monday I received a text from an unkown number to my cell, some question about my work station; and after asking who that number was, she replyied she was a girl from my work place but on another section, a girl I fucked more than a year ago. I starte playing by text with her, and after she spoke to me on facebook I knew she wanted us to meet again.

She had a boyfriend also, but after a quick look around at her facebook I knew she was single now. How hard could it be to connect the dots?

So I asked her out to have a beer with me on friday, she agreed.

We met at a bar and started talking, this girl asked about my personal life because we have already built trust before and know a bit about each other, before laying her I had to make a connection a year ago and it was a bit hard.

This girl wouldn`t even peck me on the lips, but that was fine because she was enjoying being with me and I already know her, it`s only a matter of time before I lay her and I really like the way she is, she`s a lawyer also, so we have that in common.

Problem is her face is not attractive to me, her body is perfect; but for some reason I don`t feel that much attraction with this girl to start a relationship. I`m planning on saying to her that for the time being, I`m not looking for anything serious. But let`s not get ahead of ourselves here, after I tell her that I`ll let you know if she wanted to lay with me or not.

Last saturday events:

So this girl I pecked on the lips finally agreed to meet up with me, and the day was rainy as fuck but she never canceled, wich was a great sign.
We met at this pool near my house, I invited her with a beer and we also smoked weed; she told me she really enjoyed smoking and I confessed to her I never had sex with weed effects before so this would be interesting.

After smoking the girl couldn`t even stand straight; so I told her: fuck this pool, let`s go to my place.

So I bring her home; put a movie on my tv and start kissing her and taking her clothes off.
She asks for music, I search in youtube "Bossa n`Stones" wich I recommend to use for sex, and lay her in my bed.

Full close, never had such a great fuck in my life; and I did had one like a year ago wich was memorable.
This girl even swallowed my cum. We arrenged to keep this quiet to our coworkers, so whomever speaks first losses.

I really want to keep this girl as a fuck buddy so I won`t say shit about it.

On another hand, the girl I was previously fucking like once a month started texting me and after I replyied back she told me she wants to fuck me; that we should arrenge a meeting.

Ipm planning on fucking the three girls on a same week, to see what happens after that and meeting new women.

I feel like I have momentum, and I want to enjoy every piece of it.

Thanks for reading.
Sincerely
Bond.

It`s was a great week.

On wednesday, the band Aerosmith had gave a show in my city: Montevideo, Uruguay; and my wing and I went to see a spectacular scenario.

Yesterday we went out with a friend I had years ago from fencing, we went on a venue that`s more chillaxed, more to talk and drink and less to dance.

So at one point I was smoking sitting at a bench with my buddys and I notice this girl to my left.
She was wasted and sleepy, so I toke a shot: When was the last time you slept?
She looks at me, smiles in a wasted way, and tells me that she was tired as fuck and drunk. One of my friends tells her it notices, and then I offered her what I was smoking to add to all that.

She says thanks and smokes, we keep a bit of fluff talk with the boys and her, then she gives the cigarette back and leaves.

Later on the boys wanted to go to a night club wich I refused, I wasn`t either in the mood and with the enegry, ran 6 kms. that same day and I wanted to sleep.

Either way, my goal for the night was to get back in touch with the venue, since I havent been going out for over a month now. So I figured: if I keep on staying home, I will never be back in touch with it nor I will feel like I should go out.


Important observations:

The first one was that one of my wings told me I was doing way too much kino with everyone, like I have this gesture to always touch people in the arm in order to get their attention. He confessed it was annoying, and that I should be more under the radar with my kino; smooth and finding the proper moment. He said it`s natural, that I`ll find the right moment to do it, like when you built some rapport with the girl.

I think he`s right, kino is not one single move to touch people arms, it`s a tool to get what I want. I should use it with more wisdom.

On the other hand, that got me thinking that I constantly want to eject from sets. As if my ass was on fire, I want to make my approach and leave the fuck out, as if it were a marathon. Life does not move at that pace; I believe now that that`s what kasabi meant by saying to me that I treated life as if it were a fast dinning restaurant.

So my biggest advice for myself this moment will be: JUST FUCKING RELAX.
Take your time, enjoy the process; the whole process of talking, touching, connecting, building rapport, kissing, laying, and so on and so forth.

Every set I opener I barely spent 5 minutes with each one, there were some exceptions when I knew the girl from before, but you get my point.

My set game should last between 10 to 30 minutes in order to get comfort with the girl.

I am sure he means well but I am always a bit skeptical when I hear some GUY say, "Too much kino." Almost always, if there is a mistake with kino, it's because there isn't enough. . . and because this is the way it usually goes, most guys will think something weird is going on when a guy gets all touchy with a chick.

Instead, let the girl guide you. Some weirdo girls simply don't like it. . . and you heard it from me: girls who do not jive with kino are f'd up. They either had TOO MUCH kino as a kid (I think you understand what I am saying) or they had NONE. Both scenarios produce some crazy ass no fun for you times so stay away and let them practice their crazy shit else where. for the rest:

Kino comes naturally . . . but doing it right is like playing darts. Think of the Vitruvian woman but slide the center of gravity at the vagina. Now draw rings around the girl with the vagina being the bullseye. Kino starts from the outer rings. Offer your hand to shake. Introduce yourself. Notice he bracelet or watch. Grab her hand again. Come on. . . you know when's she's jiving with it or not. The next one is an elbow, upper arm. Shoulder. . . and for every step, you know the verbal interactions that match the touch. For the guys that dance, this is a no brainer. It's funny how a guy how says nothing and grabs a girl's crotch is a sexual predator rapist. But a guy who chats for 15 minutes and works his way to her vagina is a" confident playa". . . but that's the way it works.
Remember that ol' #3? It's how you would treat your girlfriend of 2 years? It's how you'd express your love? Imagine any of those 5 languages. . . the #1 commonality to all of those things = time. No matter how well you do any of those things, it requires time. And I dare say that anybody who's had lots of interactions with girls will understand this right away. . . it's because due to their personal history, they already have some idea of how things will unfold. And when you have a clearer picture of the future, you tend to relax more. For example. . . regardless of who I took out, I knew that a motorcycle ride out to the water village in Shanghai would end the same way, every time. There really isn't much variation. It's a day trip but it leads to dinner. It ends with a shower at my place before we head out to cocktails at my favorite place. The attitude is . . . "of course we are having sex tonight. . . we've been together for 2 years. Let's do something fun today. . ." - and when you make things this obvious and this matter of fact, girls notice it right away. There is no doubt. There are no games. There is no weirdness. They cling to you like a plastic wrap.

On the other hand, what happens when you keep 'digging' to figure out if she will have sex with you or not? If this is in your head the whole time, she notices. . . it shows in your behavior. It shows in your discomfort. It shows in your attitude. It shows in your language. . . and this is when the games begin... "Maybe I will, maybe I won't. I won't because I better wait 2 days. His friends will think this way. My friends will think that way. He just wants to fuck me. He's just using me for sex. I'll get free drinks out of him. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. . ." - One method feeds this mindset. The other THROWS these thoughts out of her mind and puts her in the here and now. Obviously, I prefer one method over the other.

This is really good advice, I mean amazing...so humbling. It just makes so much sense, but the thing I'm really trying hard to understand Kasabi is that in #3 cooked 5 different ways thread, you suggest that showing your love for the girl takes time and the importance of finding out what she responds too. So in this example you used in Shanghai, could you give me (and Bond) the HOW you met and the HOW you managed to get her out - with that trust made and how much time you invested. What I'm confused about is it sounded like you had known her more than just a few minutes, and did you use this: Subject: 1. Have no fear, 2. Are you excited yet?

Where I think Bond and I are struggling is we get the concepts you are teaching us but it's the implementing from the off. I think we would both know what to do and how do it, but it's the how do we get to that stage we're struggling with.

_________________
My Journal is thoughts on life game and approaches: artful-roger-journal-vt148980.html

Lol.

I don`t think you might get the answer that way artful. Kasabi told us a million times already: something among the lines of I could give you the simple way but than again, that`s not the way you actually learn.

Now here is the deal: He only gives us highlights and when he thinks it`s time to advice, if not then you are doing things right. Doing things right in this case is simple: practicing.

To a certain extent, I believe I will get out of kasabi so much, he`s not interested in making our journey short and it`s perfectly fine. That last post you wrote it`s kinda asking for a magic pill, when we should know by now that there is none actually. In my head kasabi still has his rejections sometimes, he still gets his easy lays if he wants; and struggling lays other days. That`s all part of the game we are attracted to, it`s living life.

On the other hand, what the man communicates it`s a bit deeper, I actually enjoyed his phylosophy on acting as if the two of you were married; also go re- read when he tells that when you start doubting and second guessing yourself it shows in your behaviour, it shows in the words you use; and the girl can tell. Ergo: you are not getting any.

The solution? Practice untill you find yourself in a very good day, with a very cute girl, and you are leading her as if the two of you known each other for a long time. Give her the time of her life and don`t stop to think once if the two of you are having sex that night. It`s out of the table as an option, it`s happening and there is nothing the two of you could do about it.

Once again; enjoy and trust the process, enjoy the moment, live the present with her untill you find yourself laying in bed next to her, and the most importat part of it all: trust yourself as being a man who leads women towards a great time.

That`s basically how I see it, correct me if I`m wrong please.

Later on I will reply to kasabi with another field report and see his take on it, and ask him if there is something out of his advice I`m not getting.

artful: most of it all; I believe that the one thing we share is the capacity of being positive or negative at our will, every human being can, but we can easily change it. Focus on the positive always, never on the negative. There is a bright side to pick up, I`m sure you already felt it.

We just a finished a week of being consulted by one of the biggest names in marketing. It's funny. . . because a lot of people might say that they don't do anything. They don't tell you anything. They don't tell you your problems. They don't give you advice. All they do is facilitate discussion so that the company discovers and admits its own problems and comes up with a solution for themselves. I suppose they suggest things once in a while.

The reason for this is simple. We know US better than anybody knows US. And we will only change our behavior if we admit the problems to ourselves and we come up with a solution for ourselves. This is also why any psychiatrist worth his salt won't tell you anything. They'll talk but mostly listen, listen, and listen until you own up to your own behavior patterns and come up with your own solution. They want you to own it.

I've actually advised a lot of guys to do things step by step before. . . in fact, I've often numbered the action tasks in order: 1. Do this. 2. Do that. 3. Do this and that. But this situation isn't a task issue. Its a belief-behavior issue. This is something that if you figure out for yourself, you'll be able to repeat over, over, and over again. . . and the good news is that the comfort level for this cycle compounds. What I mean is that when you go through these motions, you will be rewarded with better relations, and those positive results reinforce future behavior which will further improve chances at better relations which will then reinforce future behavior even further.

Mature girls around their 30's do this the best. By then, they've had a bunch of boyfriends. They've had affairs. They've cheated. They've been cheated on. They know that getting a boyfriend isn't a big deal. They know that a one night stand isn't a big deal. Chat with one of them and yeah, the flirting might be there but it's not as if they are shocked that there is a chance at a relationship. It's not like they are shocked that one party is attracted or not attracted to the other. All of these things are simply (to them) a fact of life.

This is why I suggest that most guys in their 30's who've had some girlfriends, affairs, one night stands, etc. . . will know exactly what this is all about. Is this something that can be a "fake it till you make it" behavior? I don't know. . . if the responses of the members from that other thread is any clue, the answer is ABSOLUTELY NOT. In that thread, nobody in the entire thread of PICK UP ARTISTS had any clue how to treat a girl he's fucked for a while. What the hell does that say about this forum? (Virgin city) More importantly, it shows that this is something very difficult to imagine out of thin air. But as mentioned earlier. . . this is a cycle. . . and all you need is to begin it somehow. Just get the wheel rolling and it will begin its perpetual cycle. . .

I've written my "hows" many times but if you'd like to use my Shanghai thing as an example to create your own cycles, here it is:

*Before I even begin my basic PU schedule of that time in my life, I just want to point out that this is something you do or you don't. In hindsight, I probably overdid a lot of things there. . . like getting 40+ of numbers on a weekend just to impress a couple of guys I was trying to guide. Going from party to party to party to ending up at another party with complete strangers just because I could. (Shanghai VIP parties are not your typical parties) I would befriend a chick (fuck) and join her crew to take my pick from that lot. I'd do this in trade shows, government offices, any kind of party (weddings, birthdays, business openings, etc. . ) I'd fuck a singer of the local band, fuck her partner singer. . . then I'd take a girl I just met to see the show and drink with all of them after the show. I share this only to illustrate a few PU realities. 1. Whatever reality it is that you want, you've got to own it. . . and make it simply a matter of fact. You make it "normal" and everybody follows. 2. If somebody can make ^this stupid ass behavior seem normal and have girls not only nod in approval but want to join, HOW SIMPLE do you think it is for girls to comply to a "boyfriend/girlfriend" dynamic? I mean . . . this is the most natural thing in the World. You hardly have to even sell it. . . all you've got to do is LIVE IT. 3. Caveat: This is also a pretty schizophrenic way to roll. You'll make a ton of friends, you'll burn a ton of friends. Please a ton of people. Piss off a ton of people. Nothing is all good or all bad. . . but you two tend to lean to the conservative side of things. You will never figure out your boundaries (what gets you laid, what gains you friends, what pisses people off, what opens doors, what closes them, etc. . . ) UNTIL YOU TEST OUT YOUR BOUNDARIES. DO IT.

**Wannabe Natural guys will tell you, "Go freestyle man! You don't need any of that routine BS!" - Retarded Virgins. This is because no matter how "natural" you are, people are animals of habit. At your favorite restaurant, you only order 20% of what is on the menu. . . probably less than 10%. During the weekends, of ALL THAT is available in your city, you only do 1 or 2 activities, over and over again. YOU ARE a breathing, walking routine. All you're looking to do is invite chicks into your World and sell it like you mean it. The more you pick up chicks, the more you will realize your personal patterns. . . this is a routine.

On to the typical cycle:

1. Besides all the PU I'd do anytime any chick struck my fancy anywhere, I'd gear up for all the parties, clubs, outings, events, etc. . . that I was often invited to. Even then, if I felt bored, I'd hit one of my favorite bar/lounges to just go find one. And how did I approach? . . you already know. . . I've already recommended the ways. Stupid . . .silly really. . . I can't recall every single situational thing. Hundreds? Thousands? I remember one girl who was drunk and steamrollered through a bunch of people. I found the hottest of that bunch, flipped my wallet, "Auxiliary security unit. Is everybody OK here?" . . . "Hold my beer, I'm going after her. . . she seems like an easy lay" - blah, blah, blah. This is why I always recommend the opener practice. Sit down and actually practice writing a whole bunch. It's not as if I have zingers every time. . . .but I CAN ALWAYS POP something out of my mouth. Something different. Something that has to do with the moment. That is all you need.

2. Have no Fear.

The ex-pats were easy because it's such a small community. Somebody knows somebody. Chat about the parties you've been to. Chat about the bars, clubs, restaurants. Chat about the Countries you've been to. Chat about the industry you are in. Chat about the people you know. There is ALWAYS that moment when "ding ding". . . "Oh yes!" - SHE KNOWS what you are chatting about. She knows a person. She knows the club. She knows the hotel in some Country. Yes, You are a human being that she can relate with. You do not live in a basement sharpening cleavers for your next victim. You socialize. You go around. You have COMMONALITIES. You know the same people. The local girls are even easier. Which ever venue it is that you found her, you know the people. you know the bartender. You know the door guy. . . better yet, you know the owner. Ha ha. . . now I think about it, sometimes I didn't . . .but because I was so used to it, I probably always acted as if I did.

3. Are you excited yet?

If you've ever been to foreign countries, this is easy to understand because YOU are excited about all the new things around you. This is easy to convey to others. For me in Shanghai, this was a snap. . . to the ex-pats, it was, "Have you been to _____ and _____," from a tourists point of view. To the locals it was, "Have you been to _____ and _____," from an excited ex-pat's point of view. Either way, none of them rode motorcycles and none of them have been to off the beaten track sites. That water village (where they shot Mission Impossible) was obvious. There was an indoor snowboard park. There was a golf practice place out west (big deal to the locals) There was a street food area (now gone) that was a favorite to all. Then there was my favorite martini bar/restaurant with the most kick as carpaccio in the World. There was the best cocktail bar in the Universe (I can logically argue for it) Then of course there's Jean Georges. . . that prissy snobby incredibly expensive but worth it restaurant where I knew the maitre d. 6 months waiting list? Really? I didn't know that. Wait, let me call Paul to see if we can get a table tomorrow. . . Good news! We have the corner table overlooking the river!

4. The sex is already built into the formula.

Whether this is a one night stand or a date or you want to build into a relationship, the sex is already built into it. Here's the funny thing. . . it's the girls who haven't been around much who will test you. They'll get nervous. They'll want to fuck you. . . but don't now if they should admit it, deny it, etc . . . They'll test you. "HEY? WE ARE JUST FRIENDS RIGHT???" - and what would be your reply if you had a wife who would say something like that? This is a total joke right? So she gets a total joke for an answer. . . "Woh, woh. . . chill out lady, of course we're just friends. I'm not even going to hold your hands. You're staring at me funny. . .Look away and let me get back to mapping out my route to the museum crazy face." - then you go right back to treating her as if she was your wife.

5. The close.

You do not ask your girlfriend of 2 years for sex. You do not even suggest it. If you had an awesome weekend together of adventure and parties . . . you BOTH KNOW you are going to have sex that night. It is absolutely without a doubt a reality. What you have to realize is that when you treat girls as your girlfriend, THEY ALL KNOW that sex is a reality. . . and here's how I know this. I have yet to get a girl in this scenario who was not 100% ready for sex in their own way. Some girls bring their own condoms. To others, it means they shave their shit just prior to the date so they have that just shaven irritated red box. FOR ALL NEW LAYS, they show up with absolutely new, fresh panties. (And again, if you've lived with more than just several chicks in your life, you KNOW that new panties do not magically appear in their dressers. )

I`ve posposed this decision enough: *Working on inner game finally*

We`ll post new material after stablishing somewhat strong inner game.

Any input on the subject, artful, kasabi, hobbit even more than your topic; please share, it will all be welcome.

The other day I was feeling really shitty, so I just jotted down exactly the emotions I felt and went through my own feelings to find out why this was so I made this list to understand it better.
Feeling - discontent, rejected, tired, worn out and burdened. Frustrated, annoyed/minor sadness.
Why? - Genuine tiredness, rejection from the girl I was chasing. slight rejection from the girl I slept with an unknowing feeling of where it's going.
Where? (as in where did these come from) From dating my first girlfriend, the only way I know how to "get" a girl is by chasing, and having this constantly occupy my mind with the uncertainty of where's this is going.
How? (do I fix this) - Don't chase, invest in the things I enjoy, keep having fun, don't wait for them, concentrate on what I want, expand my dating pool and meet more girls.

Harder than it sounds and be patient with yourself, but when you map out your feelings with this technique you'll feel 10x better. Guaranteed.

_________________
My Journal is thoughts on life game and approaches: artful-roger-journal-vt148980.html

This is a field report with a different set of goals: Tonight I`m giving it a shot at my new way of journaling: I write about a significant experience I had, doesn`t matter if it`s positive or negative; but if it`s positive I will remark how much I`ve grown since when I started, and if it`s a negative I have to point out ways to improve for the next time.

So here it goes:

Today Emily came by to my work place to visit. Let me give you a background check before we move on: About 2 years ago I started working for my government making SPAM. I have this cute coworker, she`s Emily, and we kinda get along easily. Really smooth. We have a crush on each other, or something along those lines.

About 3 months ago she asked for her removal to another office, she had some issues with our boss, she got it.
Our relationship was not going well at the time, we were fighting like a couple but let me point this out: we never even kissed. Yes, I had a long term relationship with a girl without even kissing her. She told me everything, I told her everything (even the people we slept with).

So like I was saying, near before she left passport; we had a rough time. I was kinda jelous about her relationship with another guy, so I told her straight I wanted to have one night with her. This leads to her asking for something more than just a fuck. That lead to me saying to her that I couldn`t promise anything to her. She got mad, saying I was a pig for asking her to fuck me and not oferring nothing in return. She wanted us to hold hands, a commited relationship I believe.

I`m not willing to go trough one at the moment, so I`m plain honest, radically honest.

We finish our friendship.

A while back she sended me a text saying she was sorry about her behaviour (she involved coworkers to our little story and gave the version that I was a pig, wich got me all mad), and she also said she wanted me to add her again on facebook. I told her it was ok, but that I had no idea what could change about us by doing so ( I blocked her after our fight).

Last saturday I told her I missed her, and that was about time I told her that. Next day she calls me to my cell, we chad some.

Today at work a friend tells me Emily is coming to see us, it shoke my world. I didn`t see that one coming. Later she comes, right out of the hair saloon you can tell. And I can`t avoid thinking this has to do with me, she`s coming here to impress me somehow, but this is my classical self. All about me. With this new journal I want to change my point of view about things. It`s true she was friends with some girls that still work with me.
So as a start let`s say this WASN`T about me. Not everything is, actually only a few things are. One thing was for sure: she caught my eye on her. Came to say hi while I was working, played it cool with the others and so did I. I gave her a comment on a necklace she was wearing, really nice one, she showed it to the guys and a friend made a joke about being only a reason to stare at her tits. She said that I was observant, like in detail.

I like what se says about me. I like her. I miss the relationship I had with her.

But here is the deal: there is one good reason I aknowledged before we split: and that was that having a bf/gf relationship with a girl that I haven`t even kissed is near to a pathology behaviour.
Tomorrow I might see her at a party, if so I think I`m going to kiss close her and I know I won`t get resistance, maybe even a lay.

But I don`t want to think that far ahead; for now I`ll just pinpoint things I could have improved today: 1. Not getting my world shaken by having a visit of an old friend. Strong inner game probably is key to this, how can I get any better if a single visit that wasn`t on my plans shakes my reality? Truth is I probably want to have more things under control than what I can actually have. Life is a wave after another in our realities, there`s no stopping the waves; you can only become a better surfer.

2. I could have been more warmth than I was. There is no reason for being so cold, I told her that our fight was in the past, I might aswell act as if it were. She knows who I am and likes it, no reason to change it because of a past thing.

3. I`m also staring to notice my own problems at speaking. Sometimes I just say stupid things and people get away of a guy like that. When talking to others you better have something better than silence to say. That`s a sticky, made me remember a post kasabi once wrote me saying how little to zero value I gave to words.

If you are going to break silence, you break it for a damn good reason.

4. Have better posture when out of my comfort zone: If something`s out of my plans and I didn`t see it coming, there`s no reason to be all shy and shaky about it. I need to grow a pair and stand like a real man in face of the unkown; that`s what true confidence means. I`m new at this, I have no idea what`s next; and I`m ok with it.

Hope this new way of journaling gives results; one thingg`s for sure: this was emotional writing for me. I feel reliefed.

Thanks.

Last Halloween party:

This happened like a week ago, still I wanted to journal about it.
I have this coworker that loves Halloween and disguising for any occasion, so she ended up throwing a party at one of her friends house inviting all of my coworkers to go.

I went as a beaten up boxer, not bad and cheap.

Anyway, I`m there with a bottle of rum, and I start drinking. It`been a long time since I was drunk, but tonight I was heading the same way. No more drunk for me, just enjoying a little alcohol.
So what I wanted to journal about specifically it`s about this girl, the best friend of one of my coworkers, and this girl was kinda bitchy first time I met her. Not totally towards me, but with one of my wing; so she liked my boxer gloves, I gave it to her and we started talking.

In between lines, and with my co worker present in the convo, I let the girl know I thought of her as my exact same opposite. She`s a cold hearted bitch with a huge ego. That`s what people say about me and they are not that mistaken (I`m about to take a journey with the power of now and see what Tolle has to offer towards destroying my ego).

So she laughs and likes the subject, keeps the convo going. You need to talk to girls about subjects they may find interesting, and nothing interests em more than herself.

At one point she makes a remark about her being good looking, me not being so good looking; and at that point I decided to make herslef qualify for me. This was the first time I made a concious decission to make a girl qualify for me in the middle of a convo. Turned out to be great:

I used mystery`s famous line: So besides your beauty, what else do you have to offer to the world? You know it`s full of pretty faces, but what else do you have going on for you?

This is wrongly motivated: what I mean about that is that my motivation to do this was having some kind of vendetta on the girl for being such a bitch, instead of being horny for her, make he qualify to me and try to seduce her into my bed. I`m sure the proper way of doing this is to desire her deeply and let her know that simply with eye contact and kino.

So she started qualifying to me, saying she was about to become an engineer, etc.
I agreed with her, saying it was nice, and ejecting to be social with other groups wich I ended up taking.

This was the one set that cought my eye, but like I`ve stated for the wrong reasons. I ended up asking her why was she such a bitch to us (my wing and I) first time we met; she ended up saying that we looked like a couple of losers to wich I laughed. She was testing me.

One way I could have done things better was like I said before: actually having sexual desire for her while talking and showing that I want to fuck her. Sexualization is huge in this, I barely apply it. A thing to improve.

Another way I could have been better at that party was being the life of it; a thing I never practiced a lot and get great results with it. I know it`s hard work, but I go often to places to relax, where you actually want to be social as fuck and bringing light and fun to the people around.

I`m not talking about a party monkey doing tricks for everyone, but I`m sure I can come up with a few lines that would make people feel better.

On another side, I notice that often times in my interactions I only worry about problems people talk to me about and try to search for solutions and advice them to apply my solutions; when I`m starting to think that what people actually want is for me to say that I know how they feel. I can relate to that feeling, instead of offering some solutions out of the top of my head.

Relate more, solve less puzzles.

Wooow! Now that I realize: I`ve come to update my journal after every important party; if I keep up this rythm I will be writting on new year`s eve.

Anyway, I had tons of personal issues to take care, a loved one is slowly dying in my family and it`s taking a huge effort to accept things as they come. Still I`m getting there.

Yesterday I was in the mood for a night out:

I called 2 more buddys and we head to the venue, around 4 am we arrived after having some beers together and head to the dancefloor.

Hot as hell, not to many girls and tons of guys but no excuses, right?

So I notice 2 girls show up on our radar out of the blue, I think they are interested. One is looking at me, at some point she kinda puts a weird face talking to her gf, like "these retards don`t realize we are around for them to dance with us". Anyway, I couldn`t believe the ammount of anxiety I was experiencing that moment, as usual I thought the girl wanted to dance with me. A bit of an ego, am I?

I had my heart pumping like a motherfucker over one approach, so approach anxiety is not a past chapter in my life; it`s a long road before it is.

Lucky for me I find this other friend around the club, big hug, some show to the other people that we are a walking party; pretty loud asking how we both are doing. Then the guy introduces a girl with a boyfriend and later comes a really hotty but this guy was interested, so I wouldn`t disrespect him.

When I`m heading out, to were my 2 buddys are; I step into some broken glass right in front of a 3 set: 2 girls and one guy.

When I look down the guy says to me: Woow dude! You just stepped and broke a glass, they are going to charge you with that! (All in a funny way).

So I decided to move along: Yeah man! I believe I`m just going to leave now so they can find you 3 and blame you! Laughs, I`m in.

One girl asks if the guy and I know each other and we lie saying yes, I extend my hand to him and invent some name I have, he says his real name. So I say: it was a lie, my real name is...
All 3 laughing, dude says his name was real from the start. So I ask the girls to introduce, one says the truth, the other (the hottie) lies to me with a horrific name. I look at the guy and say: this girl is shitting me, big time. She laughs and says her real name.

After that I pretty much ejected: truth be told, I find now easy to approach a set with a guy in it. A thing I thought it was really hard, but nothing like that actually.

Of course: this was people really having fun out there, you could tell by a simple talk. But there are tons of things to adjust in order to actually pick a girl up out of her group. I can`t do more than accept that pua`s are right about having to go out there 4 nights a week or 4 days, this shit needs tons of experience for you to grow, and If I keep it like this I won`t get there.

Anyway, previous that night the girl I`ve been fucking for a year like every 2 months texted me asking me were to go on that night, since I never heard shit about her I called her after meeting with my friends again.

She`s having a beer with her friends at another club, we head there.
Place is about to close, I find her in the crowd and introduce my buddys to her friends, both my friends are interested but girls not so much or at least that`s my take on it.

So I ended up watching the sun comming up with my friends near a beach, and telling them that I would try to arrange a night out with those 3 girls or at least facebooks for em.

Things to improve now:

. Approach anxiety: that bitch is not dead yet, it`s gonna take some time to get there.
. Eye contact: after having such a strong eye contact with a stranger, I should approach her ALWAYS as a golden rule.
. Social awareness: I never was the kind of man that know when girls are after him, except when they make it pretty obvious. I need to cold read more signs.