Im new to this art form too, i also started a diary for motivational purposes. Started it today was the first day. I just seen your post so thought id say hi and im in the same boat. tryin to kill AA. well good luck and keep posting it does help.

GOT OVER THE DAYGAME HUMP - FINALLY

So, I didn't get any results out of it but I'm just glad I finally approached.

I'm copy/pasting this from reddit. I'd recommend their Seduction subreddit by the way, it's another good community.

I've been having a lot of difficulty opening during the day. I had AA during night game but I've pretty much knocked that out completely. I open at every party I go to...so every weekend. But during the day, without the aid of alcohol, social proof, and my friends to elevate my state, I've had a ton of difficulty pulling the trigger. Finally got over it today.

Went downtown to apply for jobs (I live in Philly). Applied for a couple then ended up calling back an interviewer from last week, he said he'd call me tomorrow and let me know when I can work. So with that out of the way, I decided to get lunch. I decided to stop by a food truck and eat at Rittenhouse Square (nice park area, for those who don't know). On my way there I passed by a cute Asian girl, HB7.5 or so, walking the other direction. Wanted to turn around and stop her but just didn't. Bleh.

Stopped at the SPAM, walked back the other direction toward the food truck, and saw her again, standing at a crosswalk coming my direction now with paper in her hand (I'd assume a job application). Got my sandwich and headed to the park, by this point she was gone. Sat down on a bench and ate...and just as I was finishing up, I see the same girl walk into the square. She disappears behind some benches. Threw my trash out and started walking and saw her sitting on a bench by herself, looking at the application.

At this point I just turned my brain off and decided this was it. Walked over to her, she looked up. I smiled, waved and said "hi". She smiles and says hi back. Jesus Christ, she's a lot hotter than I realized. And not just Asian...some kind of mixture. Had the Asian complexion but wide, round eyes with really long lashes. She was gorgeous...a 9 up close. I sat down.

"This may seem odd, but I just saw you and thought you were really cute, so I wanted to say hi."

She's obviously flattered, smiles/laughs, touches her hair and says thanks. Says she just moved here from a nearby town. Shortly after she says "I have a boyfriend though."

Since I'm so unexperienced I decide not to plow through this or anything. Just see an opportunity for feedback.

"Well, let me ask you. Do you get approached by guys often during the day?"
Her - No, almost never.
Me - Yeah I've just been thinking, I wait til the weekend when I'm out with my friends to meet girls, but I see cute ones out every day. What do you think of that...you think it's a good idea?
Her - Definitely. Girls LOVE that stuff. Seriously.

That's the most worthwhile part. We talked a little more about her ethnicity (Japanese, Spanish, something else I forget). She was really friendly. She volunteered a lot of information about herself too.

I stand up and say, "Well thanks for the feedback, now I know it's a good idea."
Her - "Definitely, just keep doing it! You'll definitely meet someone. And thanks for the compliments, really."

She offers her hand, we shake and I eject. I thought about trying to get her number anyway but eh. I felt so nervous and was glad I finally got over the hump so I just ejected there. Just stopped by my college's center city location to fill up my water bottle and decided to stop in the computer lab and type this up. I'm going to walk home soon, we'll see if I can muster the courage to go for #2.

***

I just got home. Didn't go for number 2. I don't really have an excuse. I went back to Rittenhouse and laid against a tree and read. I saw a girl who looked like she might've been cute sitting on a bench a little further away. She looked really young though. Oh well. Still really proud of myself. And I'll be out in the city again tomorrow, so I can make up for it there. Going to reread Daytime Dating by Soul since it's been like a month since I finished and I've only just now made my first approach.

Report from last night

Party last night was a big disappointment. The dude who set it all up failed miserably. Announced it way too far in advance and then ended up changing venues twice, and had to push it back a week (it was supposed to be last weekend). Only found a venue at the last minute so the turnout was only like 20-30 people (the facebook event had almost 90).

I realized how much I struggle in smaller parties. I think it has something to do with the fact that in these settings, people tend to congregate in pockets throughout the party. It just feels unnatural to open, for some reason.

I got to the place around 11:30, and most people were leaving by only 1:00. Pretty lame. I don't really have much to update. Me and two of my friends were the last ones there, sitting out back with three girls (the HS girl I've mentioned in previous posts, plus two who lived there). I was getting along well with the HS girl. The one kid we were with is an idiot who can't handle alcohol, and was DLV'ing me hard. Both of these kids are kind of like that. I told them we'd leave as soon as I finished my beer, then they kept asking me over and over when we could leave...like every 2 minutes.

Then the idiot kid said something awkward, "You guys are just staying here cause you want sex"...or something to that effect. I just said "you're out of pocket man" and made fun of him for being way too drunk. Then said "Actually I think you're just projecting, cause that's what's on your mind." This turned out to be true. I finished my beer and stood up. Me and the other kid get up and start leaving and this kid is just sitting in the chair.

I'm like "Let's go dude, we're leaving."
Him - "Nah, I think I'm gonna stay."
Girls - "Uh, no....we're going to bed."
Me - "WTF are you talking about, dude you're retarded right now. Let's go"
He gets up finally. I say bye to the girls and we walk out.

We're walking to this kid's house and he just stops, we turn around like "What?" He has this shit-eating grin and says "I think I'm gonna go back." I'm like "No you absolutely are not, nobody wants that."

Kid was fucking up. I've always found HS girl attractive and was actually vibing with her a little. I wasn't going to try and make anything happen there anyway but still. Interesting situation. Since she went to my HS I wonder what her opinion is of me? If she knew about my oneitis and whatnot. It's possible but she was a grade below me so I guess less likely. She told me an embarrassing story how another dude from our school bought her front row tickets for a concert, trying to get her into bed and she wasn't into it.

Oh well. It seems like every other time I go out, I'm disappointed. Not sure what the reason for this is.

Things to improve

Biggest thing here is adjusting to smaller parties. I think I just get AA resurfacing because in smaller groups, I feel more exposed. There's no reason to feel that way though. I don't go direct at parties anyway, so it's not like there's even a risk of being blown out.

Another thing about this party...none of my closest inner circle of friends came. There were still plenty of people I knew there, just not anyone I regularly hang out with or would call up to chill 1-on-1. This definitely effects my state negatively, which is a bad thing. I need to learn to generate positive energy from within myself, instead of relying on my friends for it. There's nothing wrong with getting into a good mood with friends, but it's not something I should be dependent on.

Goals for this week

Have two more job interviews early this week. Finding a job is seriously a huge pain in the ass. I'm trying to cross-sect some of the stuff I've learned with PUA into those interviews though, since at the core all this really is is social skills. So far, each interview has gone more smoothly than the last one. So hopefully I can kick ass in the ones I have this week. I need a job STAT...I'm dead broke man. Once that happens, I can start going out to bars too. I really want to practice there. Parties are cool but I need to get out of the same social circle...less risk that way. If I creep a random girl out in a bar it doesn't matter at all, but it would if that happened at a party.

I'll be downtown for these interviews too, so if I see more girls that catch my eye (which it's pretty much impossible not to), I'm going to open. One thing I realized is how much easier it seems to open a girl sitting down. So if I see a cute girl walking the opposite direction as me, I should try to get over that hump and just open her.

I will get that second approach in though, Monday or Tuesday.

Last night was a definite failure. Found out about an open bar through Facebook, just had to say the girl's name at the door. It was at a place I would otherwise NEVER go to. Just not my scene at all. Lots of "douchey" dudes and skanky girls...half the people there gave off a Jersey Shore type vibe.

But went anyway cause it was free liquor, with a friend who does alright with chicks but is pretty awkward, we'll call him N. Right after we get there we just start making jokes about the crowd, "This place could be so cool if there were cool people here", etc. Run into a couple of dudes we know...they're with 3 chicks but the only two attractive ones are already taken. We get our first drinks and head out back to the smoking section and sit with them. I start half-jokingly suggesting we go into the dance floor and try to pick up chicks..."Let's just go out there and hit on them in ridiculous ways, since none of these chicks are our type anyway." No one is actually biting on my suggestions though and just taking them as jokes...which they sort of were.

And yeah...nothing to report cause I'm a fucker and didn't approach. I used the fact that the place wasn't our "scene" as an excuse not to approach, when in reality it's just AA. I thought I got over nighttime AA, but I realized last night that this is only the case at parties. Bars are another story. I've actually still never approached at a bar. Now a big part of this is the fact that I've only been actively practicing this stuff for a little over a month, and during this time have been too broke to go to bars. But last night was a wakeup call that I still have a lot of work to do in getting over my AA at night. It seems obvious but I hadn't considered how much more intimidating a bar is than a party. I even made eye contact and got slight smiles two different times and didn't act on it. Blah.

We went to another bar after this, which was much more tailored to my scene. Sat in a booth with the dudes I ran into at the previous bar for a little before I decided to go to the dance floor, where N was already going back and forth between awkwardly standing around and dancing by himself. I talked to him for a little before turning around and entering a group of four chicks and one dude, said something like "you're my new friends" and started dancing but got the screw-face from two of them. Damn...I've actually never been blown out like that before. But again I've never made that kind of move in a bar, only parties. I left a little while after this cause I just felt embarrassed. N stayed, and me and the other dudes stopped at one last bar near my house.

And I still didn't approach. It's not like I saw opportunities and turned them down. I just wasn't even thinking of approaching. Still felt awkward cause of the blowout and let it effect me, which is BULLSHIT. The chicks that blew me out weren't even attractive, I was just using it as a warmup set.

Hey, man! Sorry to hear about your subway situation. I don't really do public transportation, but maybe what I've used for pseudo-sarging a high school track meet could help.

Try using David DeAngelo's "Smile and be social to everyone you meet." I used this in conjunction with "Treat them (everyone, including guys, for me) as your little sister (brother)," and I had MUCH success. Girls even asked ME for my number. One of which I got to play with a professional camera while I relayed the digits.

Of course, though, these girls are young by present standards of myself and our community.

Surreptitious

P.S. I love this blog, and I look forward to your next field report. Your writing fucking connects to the heart, man.

keep busy

_________________
Live and let live...

Thanks a lot for the support guys. It's really encouraging to know people are getting something out of reading this, and that there are people pulling for me.

Tonight was more "blah". I'll update with another post tomorrow.

For the 4th of July, me and a small group of friends (around 10) grilled outside my friends place, and drank beers, all day pretty much, until we left for the fireworks. An interesting situation came up...

My friend lives in the neighborhood around the art museum...and there is no shortage of cute, intelligent girls walking around his neighborhood. We saw a few. I'll talk about another situation before I get to the main point...

A group of 3 girls, who I met earlier in the week when we grilled at a park in the city, walk by because they live nearby. One of these girls is involved with my friend already, the other I'm not attracted to at all, but the third I find really cute. She left early the last time I met her, but asked what my name was and introduced herself that day. This time they were on their way to another BBQ and just stopped to talk for a minute before going on their way. Saw them again later but yeah, they didn't really stop to talk, were just walking past my friends house. Seemed awkward to try and force conversation with them? Anyway...to the main scenario I'm wondering about...

A really cute girl (HB7.5 or so) walks past with her dog (a really big Boxer type)...he stops and pays attention to us, probably because of the food we had grilling. I just say to my friend, "Why are there so many cool dogs in your neighborhood?" He runs around, jumping between all of us, we're all petting him. She's laughing, trying to pull him away, apologizing. All of us basically are just like "Oh it's no problem"...I'm paying attention to the dog cause I'm honestly just an animal person, petting him and saying how cute he is. One of our friends (who already has a GF) makes a joke about offering the dog a beer...she laughs, he sits down in front of my friend for a minute, she finally drags him away, laughing...kind of embarrassed.

This whole time I'm thinking "I'd love to talk to this girl but have no idea how I'd go about it without it being awkward." This was mainly because of the fact that it was so many people. If I was sitting out there by myself and this happened, I'd probably not have an issue striking up a conversation with her. How do you guys think I could handle this though? I know this seems basic, but I was seriously clueless. My friend commented on how cute she was after she left, and I said something like "Yeah I know, I wanted to talk to her but there's like no way to do it in that situation without it being awkward." I don't believe this though, I'm sure there's some way I could have done this?

The fireworks/concert going on was just way too much. Sensory overload man, just TOO MANY PEOPLE. I could hardly even move. So didn't bother making an effort to talk to girls...it was seriously just too much and we left soon after we got there.

Not much else to report. I start working tomorrow, so hopefully I can hit the bar scene in the next couple of weeks.

To correct the mindset, have you tried affirmations or self-addressed questions (such as Tony Robbins's Problem-Solving Questions from Awaken the Giant Within)?

"Problem-Solving Questions:

What's great about this problem?
What's not perfect yet?
What am I willing to do to make this the way I want?
What am I willing to not do to make this the way I want?
How can I enjoy myself while doing what I need to do to make this the way I want it?"

Avoiding a former oneitis

So I've got a situation on my hands...not thrilled about it.

This girl is basically what drove me to find this community. We lived near each other my 2nd year at school and spent a lot of time together for a semester, but I never made anything happen because I was completely clueless about game. I honestly feel like if I had this knowledge back then, we could have had a great relationship.

I've been over it for a while, but she still talks to me every once in a while. Says how we need to catch up, that she wants to see me again, etc. I would want to hang out but she has a BF (who she lives with) and I'm not interested in the friend zone. I always come up with excuses when this happens. I'm stupid though and occasionally initiate conversations with her, just simple stuff...asking each other about our lives, etc.

But next week she's having a get-together at her house for her birthday...BBQ and pregame before heading to a bar. I'm not sure how to handle this. I can't really be as evasive about it. I've done a good job of avoiding her. I don't think about it her anymore but I still want to leave the possibility open that she could come back into my life later on down the road. I feel like if I don't go to this it's going to look bad, plus I would feel a little guilty about it. She'd probably actually be a little hurt if I didn't. But we'll have mutual friends there...it'll be noticeable if I'm not there. And I'm not sure how that would look.

I'm thinking I should just suck it up and go, and just talk to her friends if any of them draw my interest. Or just talk with random girls at the bar. Thoughts?

Dude,

you have been doing a great job in setting out steps to start a new and fulfilling life away from the one-itis situation.

As far as I can read, regarding these situations, every sane person that has written anything on the subject says: MOVE ON.

You didnt break up for no reason, you have been doing good so far, hang in there, avade her as much as possible. I've been in the same situation, the best is to NOT HAVE ANY CONTACT. All or nothing, no friendzone.

Besides, you are working hard enough on your social skills, if anything, she will be the one who should think of wanting to be with you, and that probably wont happen soon, so, seriously, move on bro.

You are doing great, I enjoy reading your journal.

This isn't an ex, right?

Do you think that you could keep your head clear enough to run enough to run game with her and the crowd? Because with my oneitus (HB8 Dirty Blonde) I had the ultimate chance to get back at her during a French class.

Why? Well a year of no contact changes things.

Why didn't I win the game/ get the girl? I didn't kino-escalate or strive for comfort. I swear, had I followed the model from attraction => comfort, I would've had huge success. Instead, I was ALWAYS cocky and funny and never kinoing, lightly tapping her and eventually kissing her.

So, if you go to this party, and f*ckin' STRIVE for that objective (casually, of course, and w/ attraction built), I believe with all my heart that you could definitely follow through with the k-close, depending on how you feel about the boyfriend.

I'd definitely like to hear back from ya' on what you're feelin' about this.

Talk soon.

Surreptitious

EDIT: Also! If you try this, I've just read from The Venusian Arts Handbook (2nd Ed.) about Preselection attraction switches and few techniques to boot, one of which I've tried successfullly today: women's perfume (a spray on the collar). Maybe you can try that + a lipstick kiss on the neck from another friend.

Apparently, that flips switches for women that sexy waist-hip ratios and large boob sizes flip for us. (p. 46)

No, it's not an ex. But there's no way I'm going to try and run game with her. I mean I'll be acting differently...but just more socially confident, which I'm sure she'll notice. I'm not about to try and get with her in front of her boyfriend though. And there is NO way this girl would ever cheat on a BF...I wouldn't want to be responsible for something like that even if she would.

I'm thinking if I go I'm just going to be friendly/a little flirty with her...basically just do everything up to actual physical escalation, but still do some light kino. Outside of that though, I think it would be best to game her friends and other random chicks at the bar...not to impress her, but cause that's what I've been doing in social situations anyway. At the same time, I'm sure she'd take notice of how I've changed.

If that goes well, I'm sure she'll say something about hanging out again (she usually does)...I'll give my typical evasive/non-committal response, and then drop all communication with her until further notice.

I'm starting to think I should just go though. If nothing else, it'll be an interesting challenge.

my bad guys, I thought it was an ex.

Sounds like you have a solid plan Blaze.

Keeping this post alive! JBlaze88, hurry up and POST!

Look forward to your fastest reply.