day 17

well, was shitfaced the whole day (not because of alcohol), Then in the middle of the night I sent this message to JC:

"Alright-My last effort before giving up on you....Let's go to (name of yogurt/smoothies place ) sometime this week. I've never been there, but I've heard its really good...Which one is better for you Thursday or Friday? "


I still like, her, but I'm confident I'll not feel down if she flakes. I'm past that stage with her.

If she flakes, I'll not bother her any longer. This is honestly my last effort.

there is one thing I want to do...that's actually what I'm thinking about...there was one girl...I had one-itis for her(lets call her nc), while I met jc, she had a bf. So couple days after Halloween, nc, broke-up with her bf. I don't remember whether I was drunk at that time, or not, but as far as I remember I wasn't. I just watched some romantic comedy, and got that feeling, " This is your time do it! do it goddamit!", so when I ate, I sat near the first girl, and told her, that I wanted to confess to a girl I like...well she said that I definitely should do it, so I went...I wrote a long-ass message(on fb), where I wrote that I liked her like "more than a friend". and that news about break up, made a bit happy. - what a mistake...I got a reply,that she'll send some her black friends to kick my ass...I only answered with "That's rude. Have a nice day."-I was quite puzzled...then I got a reply from her that it was some of her friends, that read it and was making fun of me, when she was out of the room...I regretted that day and that message for so long, and have never met her since then. I kinda feel bad for that, and I'm thinking whether or not I should re initiate contact with hr, just to be friends. She is leaving country in 3 weeks, and probably won't be back for a long time. She is a cool person, and I'd like to have a friend like her..idk what to do...

coming back to pu...

Plans for tomorrow:

1) See if I can stay in US, or somewhere abroad longer, instead of going back to my home-country for the whole summer (no gaming in my country-impossible logistics.)

2) Do couple approaches, get couple numbers.

3) may be re-read MM again-last time I saw one post on A2-I noticed that I remembered close to nothing from it. I think this time, I'll find some more useful things. Take what's useful reject what's useless.

Quick update:

sent the message to nc, anyways. Nothing to lose.

"Weird thing happened yesterday...I got knock on the door @midnight last night. It was a girl who looks exactly like you,but she spoke thai...she made a mistake, she was delivering thai food. I didn't know you can speak thai... "


also, I forgot to mention that I was totally amazed how the same girl can change from a 6 to 9. I saw this girl in class. She was really hot, then usually jumped to her bf's bmw...I talked to her couple times, didn't close. I accidentally saw her on fb, because we have a mutual friend...I checked her photos out, I was shocked...her 1 year ago, without make-up and super expensive clothes...she seemed unattractive to me...

The second girl, is the one I n-closed, but she was kinda flaky, but I saw her today, she got sick, and was in her home-clothes...she was so unattractive...I mean both these girls have nice bodies, I was amazed by the effect of make-up and clothes had on their looks...

Quick update:

got a reply from jc:

"what is the meaning of giving up on me? Just take me as your friend. I have never been there too and yeah I think Friday is totally fine for me "

conclusion-friendzoned...what to do next???

alright I'll just try to make it fun, flirt as much as I can. IDK what else I can do here.


Any advice would be appreciated.

I'm freaking out for some reason...I haven't felt this way because of a girl for a while now...not to mention that the first day I've seen her in last 6 months I became so reactive...it was disgusting...and this is me... usually playing it off cool...I finally got this sweet, combination of excitement, with confusion and readiness to make this "leap of faith"-feeling that kept me going before, and I couldn't get any motivation without it. i love this situation, its some kind of pleasant AA, its like, adrenalin rushing through me, and then it turns into nice and worm feeling...I missed this so badly...I guess I must've really liked her.

again,

advices are greatly appreciated!, I can't keep my mind calm, and think of anything..feel like a teen-age girl, meeting Justin Beiber-happy, a bit freaking out.- love this feeling. Without it PU was lame...