I might have not hands on incountered a fear, but today I made a fear of my self. I was trying to be all cute and label this east asian girl. Thought I was cool as fuck when I heard her names was nu qin and I thought she was from south east china. Turns out she was from vietnam "chief you have the right to smack me for this dumb shit". I feel stupid as shit, I learned a lesson, ask general questions, and no longer ask specifics and try to impress by doing that dumb shit. It's easy to do with europeans, not so easy to do with east asians . OH well, she was very offended, i'm don't even know if I should apologize sincerely, and move on.

Today I tried some of 60's stuff, to say my name, and then stare at the girl with a sexual gaze. I think I frightened her a bit . But I did notice that she was talking way more to me then I was talking to her. I was looking her in her eyes, I can tell she was seeing the vibe I was giving her.

Today i've also finally began to understand the importance of social circles. Only over the last couple of days does it make since why social circles are important. So I now understand why I need to practice off of school grounds now. I need to go in friend mode on campus. It could take more then a month to get a lay by building a cricle. I need an environment where I can be aggressive and not have a girl worry about her reputation. Malls, clubs, and all other social gathering places that don't involve social status will be used for my next experiments in kino. It's time for me to get aggressive and try new stuff out. I have two agendas on campus:

1.) Establish a good social circle
2.) Befriend a lot more girls
3.) Go out to the mall or club at least once a week.
4.) Improve my outter game skills. I'm much better then I was, i'm not as nervous to introduce my self as I was before. But I still need to do a bit better at seeming enthusiatic and being confident. I've gotten down eye contact.
5.) Work on more romantic kino, like hand grabbing, and rubbing the lower part of the back.

I've got a lot of work ahead of me.

So today at work my co-worker told me I have a boring ass unexcited tone. I realized that was a lot of times the same tone I've had when talking to girls. I don't wanna change it much, because i don't entertain women, I just put them under pressure. Today I tried some overt with this girl lol, rejected me twice . Fucking awesome, I see eyeing a bit though, i'm gonna game her hard as fuck. So to conclude, I need to make my tone a little bit more excited, and work on my outter game.

Man you are starting to sound like Chandler Bing ... 'using jokes as defense mechanisms'..lol..

_________________
You miss 100% of the sets you don't open.
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I'm starting to rework my game. This time i'm gonna be patient and do shit right. Starting from intros, and working all the way to learning the F-Close. I know at the end of this process I'll be much better. Today starts my intros.

Today I was really geeked, thought my friend alex would come through and swoop me up. Turns out he was just paying for some chicks free lunch. Lol, I joked about having a woman pay for his stuf, he was like ,"no I don't do that, women shouldn't have to pay." Didn't get into an argument seen if he wanted to do something, tonight was yet another bust. I called all the fake leads in my phone for the first time to get over the rejection quick. I was really excited to go to the club and get shit started tonight, not having a car sucks. Tried to get my boy to call some chicks to pick us up, that didn't go right either. I seriously need to build a network of friends but im just blind to what I need to do.

I found a couple of people i'm gonna try out later. I'm gonna ask joe, and then i'm gonna ask the one cool ass white kid I see on TR. Cuz I don't know his name . But yeah, my fear test thing was calling all the fake ass leads in my phone.

Try to get a good wingman but also keep in mind that a bad wing is worse than no wing.

_________________
You miss 100% of the sets you don't open.
*******************************************************

Today wasn't my best day in the field, nonetheless I did some shit and I'm proud of that. I need to get out more often and push my comfort zone. That did indeed prohibit me from doing as well as I should have. I'm not mad though, there is alot of positive things i've been doing in the field, as well as some not so great things. I was impressed with the fact I went out, and I did open some sets, but I wasn't impressed with how I delivered at all. Half the girls that I approached knew I was a disaster walking . Another thing I was afraid to approach. I would do this horrible double approach thing were I would look at the girl, and then summon the courage to approach. yeah bad Idea I know. Next I was afraid to escalate. Basically shaked a few of the girls hands, pretty much it. Third my voice was soft low, and my presence wasn't felt. I had a weak ass command behind my presence. I was afraid to approach walking sets, and sets with old women/men present. I believe most of these were parents or guardians. Today I conducted a shit load of Mental Masturbation. I did however open like 8 sets. I'm still afriad and shy, even after all the warming up I did at the job training I was at. Overall, today was not my best day, but I will go into more detail in the next section .

The first girl I opened today (though not completely) was at a job training I did today. There was simply not enough time in between breaks to open this set properly. I needed like 10 minutes to feel comforitible, and start to do kino and escalate. As soon as i'd be opening up we'd had to go sit back down, it was frustration. Although, I was able to have a conversation and do both overt and incidental kino with this set, it all meant nothing. The stuff I did was not amazing, and for that fact not memorable. I wish the environment was a little more causual, I could've tried way more. This bad opening kinda rubbed off on the rest of the sets that I did today. However, this is probably an excuse, I should've went over an had a conversation, and escalated. Therefore, I didn't close this set. Just a hug and a bye bye.

The second set I talked to really wasn't a set i was trying to get sexual with. It was a coupld of co-workers, tried to put the pressure on them to go out with me and chill. They said, "they'd think about it,". I did the stare and say nothing thing with Jaz, she almost said yes, but then It kinda ended with me going to the mall by my self .

The third set I talked to was in a forever 21. She was some 24 year old bab that looked kinda young. I tried opening indirectly, probably a bad idea on a 24 year old woman. It wasn't the best opening, tried to get some indirect conversation going, she wasn't feeling it too much. When I tried to build rapport, it didn't go so hot. Did open, and shake her hand, she kinda left, andn I kinda let her just go.

There was this girl with a juicy fucking booty that I wanted to open in the same store as the 24 year old. I was approaching, and when I'd get closer she walked faster. It was clear that she didn't want to talk. So I just said fuck it and let that one go.

The fourth set I opened was in some store I didn't even know the name of. I ttold her she seemed intersting. Hmmm... I reached out to go for a handskae, and instead she told me she had a bf. I told her so, "at least you can tell me your name,". I asked for it twice, got it finally, and tried to get in the handshake, didn't really go so well. We just kinda mutally left.

Walked out from the store and there weren't really any more sets. Just a few interactions, tried an indirect on this girl walking. I asked her if she had a lil' sis what she'd get her. She was like, "I have no lil' bros or sis's!!" *In a sort of fast rushed tone. Tried to maintain a convo with her, but she just walked off.

There was this nice looking girl that bumped into me, idk if it was a test, but my dumb ass should've opened.

The sixth set I opened was this girl I couldn't see her face from behind. She was kinda chubby, but I wanted to see if she had a nice face, so that I could see if I wanted to stick one in her. I waited till she walked back and forth and then I walked up and opened her. I'll admit, this one was super fucking weak. I said the weakest HI I've ever said in my life. It had no presence, tone, or volume behind it. Chick walked past me and to like her mother or something. She wasn't a lil' girl, could tell by the face and the wide hips . Girl just blew me off. I left the mall knowing that I need to seriously work on some stuff.

In this log, there were a number of issues. Some of them I can see my self, others I will probably be spotted on later. The first in my opinion was that I was afraid to be bold and escalate. Secondly, I need to have better convos, and establish some good kino faster. Third, need to dump the weak indirect shit, be more direct with my intentions. Third, don't be frightened by older women, I was sorta intimidated when she said she was 24 . Forth stay persistant. Which I kinda did with that set with the bf thing going on. I shouldn't have been taunted by bf barriers, should've made the girl feel at ease. I think the most important lesson is talk to a girl when I first see them, the pressure is so high during first approach. I get nervous as fuck, to the point of a panick attack man. Nonetheless, need to endure this fear to do better on my sets. I shouldn't wait to open her, or try doing the I see you, and then open you after gaining courage. That was kinda weak. Lastly, need to start commanding a presence, and say hi with my fucking diaphram. Got lots of shit to work on, did a lot of shit today. I'm pleased.

Now this is something new i'm doing for my self, and no one else. There are probably challenges in similar to the ones i'm gonna make for my self. I'm gonna start something new, well at least new for me. Whenever I fuck up on something, I'm going to make a challenge to get my self used to the concept of doing it. These are both my challenges and or goals. I intend to go out in the field and test these things out. I'll see how it goes from there.

1.) My goal for each time I sarge is to open at least 25 sets in one setting. This is in my opinion my imginary approach number.
2.) The outer game, in particular saying hi with a commanding voice, and practicing my conversational delievery. When i'm out sarging I expect to have at least 40 conversations including opening the 25 sets.
3.) 25 kiss challenge is a must and a priority now.
4.) I'm gonna create something that may or may not exist, but i'm gonna call it the starter's kino challenge. In this challenge you start the conversations and you try to establish rapport. BUT!! the flip side to this is that you maintain proper eye contact, and try to hold your sets hands, or get your hand rubbing on her lower back. Try this shit for at least 30 times.
5.)First see, first approach challenge, so despite the fact that your about to keal over from an anxiety attack, you still approach and open the set. Regardless to how you feel about it, don't second guess, just open the set. Try to do this 25 times.
6.) Ahh, one of my favorites on the list, The older woman challenge. You will meet a lot of shitty resistance on this one. Well at least me . I'm going to open at least 30 sets of women ages 24-30. Just start convos with them, be direct, and shake hands. Try to do some kino. Older women in my opinion should tell you straight up if they are interested or not in like 30 seconds. We'll see.
7.) Another one i'm going to dread . The Parental Challenge, i'm going to open girls in front of their parents or guardians ..... I intend to do this at least 30 times. Oh god i'm nervous just thinking bout this shit !!
8.)Go for the No challenge, so basically this is based on the 60yoc principle of go for no. I wanna push compliance until I here the word no. I forget why this is important to me. Been writing too much shit. But anyways, i'm going for no.

Over all, these challenges should help me patch up the game and overcome obstacles i've been facing. I plan to start practicing out stuff at night. Like my openings and stuff, nothing prescripted, just looking in the mirror and challenging my self to be confident.

9.) I think there is one more challenge I wanna add. The embarrasment challenge, chief gave me the idea to make a fool out of my self so that i'm not so afriad to care about what people think. I think that's half of my problem. So I might as well go forward and do that shit. So lemme know some good ideas for embarrasing my self. So far i've come up with yelling loud as fuck, and walking down the halls of skool with toliet paper in my drawers .

10.) One last thing, i'm terrified of opening girls behind a counter, or girls that work at a store. So I plan to open 25 of them.

I know I've been posting a lot, but I have a lot of shit on my brain. I think one of the biggest challenges for guys sometimes is to not really understand the progress that they have made since joining the game. I know haven't, one of my biggest challenges was to see that I actually did improve. I remember my first interaction and my last couple. I remember my first being a oneitis chasing event. I remember my last couple being with many women. I remember my first interaction I was like 6 ft. away from her, never touched her !! I remember my last couple, hand shakes, hugs, and smiles. Really I've come far. I actually do kino now, no matter how much it sucks . It's just great to be here with you guys, on such a great and motivating site. I'm so thrilled and excited to be here. It's just a pleasure. I expect to continue to progress and just do shit man. So I'm please with my self and what i've done. I'm glad I started this journal thing. Just a big shout out to everyone.

man i need to start practicing this stuff

Sorry guys last post of tonight. I know i've been plauging you guys with post . But when I actually get the chance to go out into the field and game, then expect for me to post a lot of stuff in my journal. I'll post stuff ad hoc sometimes. So bear with me. In this post I've compiled an honest list of what I really do like about my self. So bear with me yet again.....

1.) Nice face, especially when i'm all cleaned up and fresh .
2.) I'm great at meeting people who can advance me in life.
3.) Knowledgible about history, world events, cultures, other countries, and money.
4.) I have some cool ass dreams, (just hope I actually to do them ).
5.) Very open to trying new stuff once I get over or used to the dumb ass fear of it.
6.) I like some cool ass music. In fact I like a lot of cool different music.
7.) I like to star gaze, take walks through nature, and try to find my self one with Earth . Hippish i know .
8.) I understand some deep shit, and the long term effects of current things beind done in the world.
9.) I try to position my self to take advantage of future oppurtunities in the world.
10.) I'm extremely passionate about the things that I love to do.
11.) I question things and I don't just take people's word for it. I research it and find it out for my self if it's true. I am skeptical at best.
12.) I have a kind and soft heart. Maybe that's a bad thing.......
13.) I like to share ideas with others. I love trying to understand people's ideas. And I love working on a team. Coming up with ideas with other people is awesome .
14.) I can merge many cool ideas and concepts together.
15.) I like to talk to people and make others laugh.
16.) I'm a weird ass dork and I love it.
17.) During events with others I'm usually open and out going once i'm warmed up and used to the environment.
18.) Regardless of what others say, when I can RECOGNIZE a problem, I try my hardest to fix it.
19.) I am comforitible admitting that I am vunerable and weak. I'm not ashamed to flaunt my weaknesses.
20.) I am proud of my cultural heritage and history. Defender of my people and their right to existence/wealth. (And yes, I am serious about this answer.....)
21.) Love to have fun when i'm not nervous.
22.) Have an awesome family for the most part. Two super cool ass loving, supportive, and wise sisters. A loving, kind, and gentle mother. She can be cool as hell when she isn't blocking me from trying to wipe down some girls on saturdays. A father who works his ass off although he has some problems . He's a good guy, just hasn't resolved his issues.
23.) I search for who I am, and my purpose in this world. And though I have found my purpose, I will not stop until I have found who I am.
24.) Love foreign cultures and foreign stuff.
25.) Free-Spirited
26.) I like to try new things once I get past the fear stage.
27.) I am willing to do what it takes to become a strong person. Though it does hurt and I'm dying inside .
28.) I am financially conservative when I have financial goals in mind. I am quick to save my money for another day. And I try not to buy things I don't need.
29.) I like to make plans and ideas. Now if only I could follow up on them and follow through.....
30.) I like all types of people, including women. I don't just stick around one type, I try to be diverse, spread the love, and try new stuff.

So yeah that's my list, it maybe nerdy, wrong, stupid whatever. But I like it, it's me man. It's some cool as shit. I think It'll definately help me to just keep my mind focused and shit. These are just some attributes I have. And I think I can improve on most of these. I'm just seeing a tremendous amount of self improvement in my self. I'm having a great night. Hope you all have one too .

Yeah thanks man, I just came up with this shit on the spot. I really come up with these challenges to address fears and shit. So i'm hoping this all works out .