Good advice, and advice I took over the weekend. I called on Saturday to get her back into the flow of conversation. We spoke on the phone for about 10 minutes. I negged her a bit and brought up some inside jokes from when I met her. She was responsive and excited. She sent me a text yesterday that I didn’t respond to. Not for any particular reason, my phone was just off. We are confirmed for coffee this afternoon. My gameplan is set. As soon as I get back in there I am going to pick up where I left off. Going for a k-close, at least. Wish me luck!

Good luck man, please use Kino! This could be fun!

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Keep us posted.

Well. She flaked on me. Sent me a text morning of and told me that she had to work late. Oh well. I didn't freak out like a bitch and I can keep her on the backburner. I guess that's something.

You did right, personally now I'd go quiet, let her come to you, afterall she flaked, let her think you have other options.

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My thoughts exactly. Thanks.

Find other chicks, move on, time wil fly, and she will wonder what's going on.

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WIn case you would like to further critique my text game.  Here is what transpired over the last few days.
 
Me: Hey, called earlier.  My schedule is pretty packed but maybe coffee after work next Tuesday.  Would like to get to know the sober, daylight (name). Sound good?
Her: Sorry, had my phone on vibrate.  Not feeling well but Tuesday sounds good.
Me: Alright. 6:00 at (location)? Don’t be afraid to call me in the meantime.  I promise I wont hypnotize you with my sexy voice . Feel better.
Her: (days later) R u at a cookout?
Me: (following day) Yep! At my desk! Oh…yesterday.  I gave myself some me time yesterday to recover from a weekend of summer revelry. How was your holiday cutie J?
Her: The holiday was fun.  R we meeting tonight or next Tuesday? If tonight I may have a problem with work.
Me: Thought we were getting together tonight.  What time do you get off?
Her: Normally 4 but I may have to be back on at 530 or 6 to validate system changes I’m trying to find someone to cover for me.
Me: Yeah, yeah.  I’ve heard it all before J.  It’s ok to be nervous.  Besides if I’m not totally into you we can always just be friends.
Her: Haha please it’s not that.
Me: Whatever you say . Neway let me know if you can weasel your way out of work.  Good luck.
Her: And what if I’m not into you smartass.
Me: Oooh! Did you just hand the phone to your cuz (we had an inside joke about how her cousin who was with her at the bar was a bitch)? Put (name) back on.  I liked her more.
Her: Haha ur funny! & u started it (yes I’m being a two yr old now).
Me: (pulls hair and puts dirt in her lunchbox) But seriously OMW to a meeting.  Hopefully see you this afternoon. Lemme know when you know.
Her: I will
Her: I can’t con anyone into working for me.  So I have to cancel but I really want to meet up so we need to reschedule.
Me: Bummer…when do you get done tonight?  I haven’t made other plans just yet.  Maybe we can just push it back a couple of hours.  Your call.
Her: It depends on if there are issues with their code.  It may be easier to reschedule.  Sorry I can’t answer my phone I am still at the office.
Me: NP some other time then.  Ball is in your court let me know when you are free.

Have you talked to her on the phone at all since getting her phone number? I love texting, but you can build so much more comfort directly in a phone conversation- in which she'd be more inclined to meet up with you.

It's kinda grimey- but when a girl flakes on me I pretend like I didn't get a text and text her back like an hour later saying that something came up and I can't make it. Then she ain't flaking on you, you're flaking on her- you come off as higher value.

I'd just put it on th back burner, text her in a week or something with something low investment- just to keep you on her radar. Try to get some more investment in her- so she'll actually meet up with you.

Continuing Text Message Dialogue

Me: Hey, what's up in your crazy world today?
Her: A headache haha. I was just thiking about texting u.
Me: Huh? Must have been a premonition...u a witch?
Her: Ur a dork. Wat r u up to this week
Me: Lol! A system administrator calling me a dork!? That's a first. But anyway...same old stuff too much work. Not enough fun. U?
Her: Work, work and more work do u have plans Thursday
Me: Not just yet. What do you have in mind?
Her: Starbucks???
Me; Sure. It would have to be later though. 7 work for u?
Her: It should be ok
Her: Is Wednesday better for you?
Me: Much better in fact. I will be driving back from (location) on Thursday
Her: Oh well Wednesday should be ok for me
Me: Cool. 6 work?
Her: Yeah
Me: Good deal. Sigh... I remember a carefree time in my life when I did not have to schedule fun.
Her: I hear you on that those were the days

DAY OF:

Her: Sorry I missed your call I accidentally left my phone on silent. What a crappy day it is all this rain
Me: Yeah. It's pretty miserable out
Her: (hour before the date) 6 right.
Her: (10 minutes later) r we still good for tonight or no


Alright. Here is the postmortem. So I just finished my day 2 with this girl. Here are my thoughts.



1) In the coffee shop I chose to sit in a plush chair that was adjacent to another plush chair. I should have gone with a table. The chair she sat in was close enough for us to talk but too far to kino. To make matters worse when I asked her what kind of coffee she wanted she mentioned that she had a doctor's appointment the next day and could not eat or drink anything. I immediately realized how key eating and drinking was to dating. To make matters even worse it was raining outside. I had originally planned to make a venue change to the park down the street from the Starbucks but the park is not much fun when it's raining. My plan B was to take her to a bar and have a few drinks but because of her medical situation that was shot as well. So I came up with a plan C on the fly! Lets go to the indoor batting cages and hit some softballs! Well....the cages were closed. Sigh...We ended up going to the park when the rain let up and walked for a bit.

2) I mentioned earlier in the thread that she was older. I am 29 and she is 35. Well. The coffee date started with her mentioning how much she wants to have kids and be a housewife. I took this as an IOI but I also have to admit that I am not about to get married or have kids. I hate kids in fact and I have plenty of crazy sex to get out of my system before I settle down. Now I am as horny as any man out there but I think I would be crossing an ethical line by portraying myself as the kind of man that could make her domestic dreams come true.

So...there were some positives to take away. I got to run some game on her. Practiced my story telling and threw some negs. I negotiated the time bridge successfully. This is actually the first time that I have had a date with a woman that I met in a bar. I drove her back to her car when we got done with the walk. As we were driving past a restaurant she said "that's a cool looking place, I have always wanted to go there." I didn't take the bait. I just gave her a "Yeah, I ate there once." As I dropped her off by her car. (I didn't get out and open the door for her) She gave me a hug and said. "This was fun, we should hang out again soon." To which I replied. "Yeah, I am glad that I could make a new friend." and I meant it. She was a cool girl, but not the girl for me.

Hey, I have only been an aspiring PUA for a month now. Not bad for a beginner if I do say so myself. And there is always the sarging that will happen this weekend! Thanks to everybody who helped me thus far.

Phazzle, very helpful thread my man. Your text game was awesome. I just got my first number close today, and I will have to bridge a time gap as well (probably 6 days at least) so I will be taking some of the stuff I learned from here.

Also, great job on the date...all around it looks like you ran some solid game with this girl.

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"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."

Thanks for the vote of confidence. Good luck. Dont really know how "solid" my game was. The kino was a bit light as I mentioned but I am not sure if she was just trying to act demure in my presence. Got IOIs but no physical IOIs which are the best kind.

There is nothing like rolling in to your own apartment at 7 am wearing the same clothes you were in last night.

I FClosed this girl last night. Here is how it went down.

So after our date last month we texted eachother back and forth once a week or so. Then when I felt it wasn't going anywhere I froze her out and she started to show me some real attention. She went so far as to invite me out on a Saturday night after a wedding she had to attend. So...she shows up to our date with a dude! but no worries, It's just her gay friend who took her to the wedding. I instinctively knew that the gay man was the one that I had to impress so I spent most of the early part of the night chatting him up and getting to know him. There is something very powerful to a woman these days when she sees that you are comfortable around gay men. I think it makes her feel like you are comfortable with your sexuality. Personally I love gay guys. They are really chick magnets and make excellent wings (or pivots?)

Anyway. After we have a drink or two her gay friend departs and we bounce to another bar. A karaoke bar. She doesn't sing but I love to get up there and let it all out so I sing a bit and then we go outside to sit and smoke a few cigarettes. The kino is still light I am touching her shoulder or her back when I get up or come back to the table. I find reasons to touch her hair here and there. She is touching me back. The night is at an end so I follow her back to her car and use Mystery's kiss gambit. "Hey, would you like a kiss?" She replies "do you have to ask,"

I dont get a peck on the cheek. We go into a full on makeout/groping session right in the parking lot. In between the groaning and heavy breathing I ask "Hey you taking me home or what?" She replies "Sure you can drop by."

The only other thing to note is a quick response to LMR. It probably would have happened regardless but as we were getting into foreplay she told me "So I'll bet you think I'm a slut since this is only the third time we have been out together." My response was "Hey, we are both adults." Said very playfully and casually. She laughed and we proceeded. The rest is history.

I am particularly proud of the fact that she is the second woman this week who has told me "I cant read you at all." I am starting to zero in on my game and what works for me. It seems like I am very successful when I am just on the edge of being a jerk and then pulling a 180 and being sweet but not mushy. That juxtaposition keeps her guessing and makes me seem interesting and exciting. I am also a hell of a conversationalist. I can just talk and talk forever.

One last note. I made sure that before I closed the deal that we were both on the same page with her desire for kids, marraige, etc. and that she knew that tonght was just about two attractive people having some fun. I thought that was only right and fair. Apparently I was all wrong about her desire for kids. She told me that she is not thinking about kids/marraige right now. Unless she is lying to herself, but hey...best not to overthink it.

Thanks to everyone who helped with their thoughts and encouragement! Especially Chelios who had it right on the money when he said "Find other chicks, move on, time wil fly, and she will wonder what's going on." Mad props bro!

I'm interested in hearing how it goes on with this girl afterwards. Nice post, Phazzle.

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Yeah. I dont think this one will turn into a relationship. I think we were both just scratching an itch for eachother. Which is cool with me.