I don't really agree with what you've said here either. As far as I'm concerned, wanting something and needing something are the same thing in practical terms. It's the actions arising out of the need/want that matter. Need vs. want is just semantics.

From another viewpoint, we could also argue that since sex is a basic primary function of our animal nature that biologically we actually need sex rather than want it. Of course it can differ from person to person but it wouldn't be wrong from a biological standpoint to need it. If it's only the males who only merely want it that get a chance to procreate then the system wouldn't make sense.

If you feel bad when you get rejected then that's only natural I think. We're not robots. In an interview I watched with Frank Kermit he said something like "I don't care what anybody else says. No matter how good you get, rejections always hurt." And I like that.

Wanting something and needing something is not the same at all. I don't understand how people on this board take certain PUA teachings hook line and sinker but aren't aware of the (few) more helpful aspects. There is an entire section dedicated to NLP. The core assumption of NLP is that word choice influences behavior. Try telling Jordan Belfort (the real Wolf of Wall Street) that word choice is largely just semantics. He will laugh in your face. Try telling any of the RSD instructors that word choice doesn't matter and they will also laugh in your face. (Tonality/body language matters as well, I'm not downplaying that).

Sex is not a biological need. It is a drive. You can't die from not having sex. Breathing, eating, drinking, and sleeping are all biological needs. The desire to have sex is driven by our needs to fulfill a sense of connection, self-esteem, autonomy, or security.

You're trying to straw man argue some evolutionary point. It is true that men have evolved high sex drives to contribute reproduction of the species. Women pay a higher risk biologically for sleeping with multiple partners and they evolved a more complex sex drive based around security. However, what makes us as humans different is our massive brains. We are more intelligent than any other species. The price to pay for that is slower child development. Monkeys take a few years to develop. A human child takes about 13 before it is somewhat self sufficient.

So we evolved a system of psychological emotional attachment and a (fairly) monogamous social structure in order to effectively raise our young. Our brains are chemically induced to cause us to get drunk off love when we meet a new chick in hoping to get us to stick around for a bit. This process is involuntary and universal...just like the drive to fuck. Evolution mixed up our sex drive with psychological needs for esteem and connection.

"Rejection always hurts". I agree and disagree. Does it hurt when you are dating a chick and she can't invest with you long term because she can't accept your flaws/insecurities? Fuck yes. Enough to put any dude out of commission for awhile (even though it is largely a simple matter of compatibility/chemistry). Does it (or should it) hurt when you decide to chat up a hot chick on the street and she isn't vibing you? Fuck no.

I could write a whole paper on the reasons for why you should never feel "rejected" for a girl not wanting to interact with you in some social setting. The primary reason being if you have values and boundaries towards the girls/people you let into your life, then you aren't some guy trying to just put your dick into every good looking hole. You have prerequisites to that shit. You have standards to how you wish to be treated. When you approach some lucky girl going about your daily routine, you are giving her the opportunity to be inducted into your badass life. It's going to sound harsh, but most guys problem is that they don't have badass lives. They don't give value, they only wish to take. What is easier for a guy to do though? A) Re-think his core beliefs and lifestyle? or B) Read a "boyfriend destroyer" routine and memorize/recite it next time he is out?

_________________
Game doesn't exist.

Define a bad ass like. Describe a guy, or a few guys you know that have bad ass lives. I work about 2 hours per week and have all my time free and am about to start investing in more real estate and hopefully eventually apartment complexes and hotels. I used to be a hallucinogen dealer. That was fun, but not long term.

Sex drive comes from a drive to reproduce.

[quote="redstar1324"

Sex drive comes from a drive to reproduce.[/quote]

The drive to reproduce is as innate as our psychological needs for self-esteem, connection, security, and autonomy. You can't just want to bust a nut without getting psychological needs involved to some degree.

A badass guy meets those four core psychological needs largely by his own doing. He has high self-esteem (not ego...self-esteem), he has a core group of friends and family that are supportive, he feels comfortable with his abilities, he feels comfortable being alone, he has faith that he can provide for himself/others, he has interesting hobbies and passions, he is disciplined, he has a sufficient amount of intellect, etc etc.

It sounds like you have a strong sense of security (you are sound financially). Do you have cool stories about dealing hallucinogens? Do you have solid friends? Can you relate well with other people? Do you have personal interests/hobbies?

_________________
Game doesn't exist.

I don't think I relate to other people very well at this moment. That is probably more of my problem than just meeting girls. I have a lot of free time. Not many hobbies. I try to go to the gym or work out at home. I should go to the tanning bed more often, but these are all just to support my quest to meet girls. That is the reason why I work out. No solid friends. Not too many cool stories about hallucinogens.

I went from.... thinking my problem was not being able to think of good opening lines, to.... thinking it was a fault in my character... to realizing that I am just not leading a happy life and that is probably the problem....

I am not happy being alone. But I probably wouldn't be happy with anyone else, either. I get angry at girls a lot. But a lot less than I used to even a week ago.

The ability to relate to people stems from the ability to relate to yourself. For example, you talked about that chick you met with a health condition. In your PUA train of thought, you referenced something you read from another PUA talking about how you should have empathy. Then you were like okay let's try to feel empathetic.

The girl said she had a newly discovered health condition that appears to be a chronic problem without a current cure. Wouldn't that naturally trigger feelings of empathy or sympathy in you? Have you ever been really sick before? I know you said you were homeless at one time. Well right in that moment, a human being was sharing a very personal and probably painful topic about how she was faced with a new obstacle to her happiness. Surely you could relate to feeling a sense of sorrow and having to overcome problems in your life?

Try to reach out and find a workout partner or something. Build some male to male friendships before devoting entirely to male-female interactions. Develop some hobbies. Read a few books to get your curiosity and imagination flowing. Another world renowned book that pretty much anyone that has an interest in human relations has read is "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Another title I highly recommend.

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Game doesn't exist.

I did feel empathy. I didn't say that I tried to. I said that I did and that it made me think of what someone put on here.

I'll buy that book and try to get male-to-male friendships.

Fair enough

_________________
Game doesn't exist.

No reason to be angry at girls, because the problem here (and with most of us) often is internal.

I'm going to echo everything Enso said... but in my own words;

You're unhappy because your life is severely out of balance. Even though you are 'successful' financially, you are lacking in many other areas that are critical to being a well rounded person.
It is very telling of you to make this comment. How would you ever live a bad ass life if you have to ask what it looks like? A badass life is one with balance. Your lack of balance is the source of all the things you've posted thus far (a large portion sounds to me like insecurity).

I was extremely insecure myself a few 5 yrs ago. It's only because I've been repeatedly pushed out of my comfort zone (not always of my choice) that these insecurities faded. I also learned to focus on those things that I love to do. What do you love to do?

It is never healthy to be focused so intensely on just one thing (girls), because when that one thing gets fixed or solved (or when you are lacking it), what do you have? Nothing else that's what!! Kinda a paradox right?

That is why even when you found the 'perfect' girl (doesn't exist ), you will still have the same problem that you have now, and at the end of the day you still won't be happy. A girl, house, money, another trailer park, etc, will never be able to fulfill you.

How do I know? I have experienced it.

The real problem is your unhappiness will leak from your pores and other people will sense it from interacting with you, as Enso pointed out. Can you imagine what it would be like to know you have a ton of people you can call to talk with at any time? Have a few very close friends you can tell anything? Have no problem getting dates? To love your work and make enough money doing it you can buy anything you want (in reason) or need? To know you can virtually do anything you want to whenever you want to? To find any one of numerous things pleasurable such as working out or creating art? Know that you can achieve almost anything with the help of others? Know that you have the power over your own body and mind and can direct it to accomplish whatever you desire???