Hey everyone, i got into the game a little over a month ago after discovering about it online. i've been practicing the game as a means to get over a terrible oneitis. i'm 30 and have never been good with women and don't have much sexual or intimate experience. anyway, about 4 months ago a really HB fell into my lap. i couldn't believe it. the sex was amazing, she was cool as hell, i was so happy. well, i was so happy for a week or two. then she flew to california, fucked some other dude, and decided that she's moving there. for the last 4 months i can't get this girl out of my head. everything reminds me of her. what's funny is that i understand that there wasn't much there to begin with. other than her hot body and incredible ability in the sack there's not too much more that i'm really attracted to. but, for some reason she's always on my mind. i know what i need to do..... go fuck other women. but for a newbie like me that's easier said than done. i'm afraid that if i can't get this girl out of my head it will be a detriment to my game. i've been following the missions in Rules of the Game with a good amount of success. unfortuneatly, i have nobody to go out with. all of my friends are in serious relationships and have no interest in doing this with me. i hate doing all of this by myself. these missions seem to go at a pretty slow pace too.

anyway, any advice from people who have been in my spot would be appreciated. how do you get these girls out of your head? is there anything i can do to speed up the gaming process? how do you make going out by yourself more entertaining?

Hi Folkerth,

Thanks for posting. Yes I've been in just the same situation, and I know how tough it can be! As for rock bottom? If you really are there, and you're thinking about suicide, the best thing is to see a counsellor. In the UK you can see counsellors on the National Health Service for free, but I don't know about other countries.

Otherwise/ also - talk to your friends and family. No matter how good they are at 'game' they'll always be the ones there when the shit hits the fan

So, in answer to your questions:

1) How do you get these girls out of your head?

This is a big topic, with no easy answer. First and foremost, realise that most people feel this way about one or more of their ex girlfriends. I've done the 'go out and fuck other women' thing, and it works, but only up to a point.

The truth is, that girl you've mentioned filled a hole you have within. Each of us feels this way at times, from super star PUAs to supermodels, to average guys like you and me. The problem is that we feel this hole can be filled with material things outside of ourselves (like 'HB's). Why even use the term 'hot babe'? Its because we really seek the validation that comes with the girlfriend. When we're 'banging' an 'HB' we suddenly feel empowered over all the people who've looked down on us. Suddenly we're COOL.

But the hard truth is, you're cool right now Folkerth! And you've got everything you need to fill the inner hole from within. You don't need external things like girls or money to feel fulfilled. And if you feel fulfilled without these things the amazing thing is... they naturally come to you!

Some tips that have really helped me are:
1) Make your focus helping others. Go volunteer at a homeless shelter or charity store, or just help the people around you
2) Eat healthily
3) Get plenty of sleep
4) Exercise
5) Meditate - not in a forced way, just set aside 30 mins a day to do nothing, and slowly slowly, patiently let the mind fall silent on its own. In the silence we find fulfilment

2) is there anything i can do to speed up the gaming process?

There are no doubt many things, however the list above has helped me the most

3) How do you make going out by yourself more entertaining?

Another good question, In my experience whether by yourself or with others it generally becomes more entertaining the more you practise and get better. Not a very useful answer I know On the other hand, have you considered finding wings through forums such as this? You can also use Craig's List or Gumtree depending on what country your in. The important thing is to find a wing who you connect with on more levels than just approaching - you need to be friends

Good luck, let us know how it goes.......

thanks for both of your replies.

alex - i will definately try the methods you've tried in the past. also, i haven't considered suicide or anything even close. i'm just tired of this girl popping up in my thoughts all the time. thank you for your detailed response.

1. your not at rock bottom

Same thing happened to me, and i will tell you what helped me get over it.. it was one of my rare relationships with a girl.. lasted 3 months.. i got needy/clingly.. lost her.. and she kept popping into my mind.. after we broke up.. within 3 weeks.. she flirts and gets a new bf.. and then gets dummped.. tries to come back to me.. i said no.. but she kept popping back into my head.. as that guy said.. a hole.. that this girl filled.. she still does sometimes.. but its not a big deal or anything anymore..

Here is what i did.. is stopped resisting.. when she came into my mind.. i treated it as just another random thing that comes to mind, and kept moving to something else.. the thing is that.. when she comes to your mind.. you get mad. .like why are you in my mind, and then you go through a cycle of memories.. that the thought triggered. so stop reacting to the thought.. let it happen and let it pass by..same way you treat a thought when you think a girl is hot in public.. you dont think about it to much.. you accept it and move on. ..hope i helped.