Having a Melt Down (the game doesn't work for introverts)

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 5:59 pm 
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We had a lot of people over at our house the other night. One uncle had a lot to drink and he was asking the hot wife of another cousing, to hook me up with someone, in front of everybody I know. That was not the main problem. The main thing was that he said things about me being nice, sweet, not tough enough for the real world, me being gentle and kind and that usual BS. The problem is he's right. I hate him for saying it out loud. Now I ask you guys, what should I do? How can I change, I am being this shy, introvert for 28 year and I can't just snap my fingers and become assertive, strong, decisive... an alpha male.
I wanted to join some martial arts club or extreme sports like surfing or climbing, or anything really.
I am not just scared and shy, and needy. I am the most uptight person you'll ever likely to meet. In a room full of people, I wouldn't dance, even if it means being the only person sitting. Being relaxed enough to dance in a nightclub would be the biggest achievement of my life, even bigger than getting laid

ANY ADVICE IS APPRECIATRED; dont hold back on my feelings, please be brutally honest; I need to imrpove

PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 8:49 pm 
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Whats up man,

Well starters, you did come to the right place. Im not so sure I agree with the term "introvert", no ones mouth is just shut. Therefore you can open your mouth and speak up and talk just like anyone else that has one. It's more of an excuse than it is anything thats actually tangible. Now if being social isn't your thing, thats fine, you don't have to be. But if you desire to be more social, you're not an introvert, you're just not strong enough to respond to your convictions.

Theres a newbie challenged stickied at the top of the general questions section of the forum. Thats a good place to start. That'll allow you to slowly but surely break out of your shell.

The game works for anyone whos put the time, energy, and investment into learning and mastering it.

Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 1:27 am 
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Joined: Thu Aug 02, 2012 10:20 pm
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Location: San Antonio
Eddie, I'm sure you know he is using the term introvert to describe himself as being more inward and self reflective, than the opposite which is being more outward going. Environment makes a huge difference; think of an IT professional vs a young girl working at Hooters. I'm sure most of us on this forum were tended towards introversion - I mean it is what brought me here.

Humans are meant to be social, I promise you it is not possible to live a meaningful life without many people around you constantly. No matter what you think, spend enough time alone and you will go crazy. Books on depression/illness always have a part about social connection, it goes back to the caveman times. But we digress...

OP, I'm happy you know you can't just snap your fingers and get good at women. Everyone has their own pace and you are starting late, but late is better than never. I'd suggest reading the forums a bit, learning some basics and going out frequently and just talking to strangers. Doesn't have to be women at first. It will likely be too much of a mountain for you to summit, easier to talk to people you don't find attractive first. The field will always rule all. Took me a good 6 years to get up to speed of where I feel I should be when talking to women.

PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 2:23 am 
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I knew about all the pua stuff and didn't do jack shit for years.

You don't have to go out and try to emulate a gamey "pua." Actually I've been in this game for years now and I would never forgive myself if I acted in such a manner. What is your motivation for talking to the garbage man, the 67 year old grandma cashier and the young man produce clerk? It's to get better with women. It puts you in a social space mentally. If the thought of having hot women in your life is not enough motivation for you, then there is nothing that can be said in this area to motivate you to get out there and do this. Then you start making comments to women like asking them for the time. Start small and work your way up. But at NO POINT in your journey would I advise you to approach this like you want to be a "pua." Think of it as improving yourself as a man socially and nothing else.

Don't let others define you. Create a new you. The second you start talking to the garbage man, the process has begun. And you'll be continuously improving from that point on as long as you keep at it.

Take the newbie challenge on this site.

Every person must make the decision on his own to get out there and do this.

P.S. The game works smashingly for introverts.

PostPosted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 6:35 pm 
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There is a difference between: (1) introvert; and (2) shy / social.

Introvert means the way you get energy. Introvert get exhausted way faster in social surroundings, sound and changes (people/environment). Still it is no excuse not to practise PUA> it means you have to be more selective in your activities. If you are planning on going to a party on a fridaynight, it means you have to relax on the friday afternoon. Since changing or multiple venues will exhaust you. Being introvert is a given by birth, you can't change it but you can make effective use of it.

Shy / Social is the way you behave in social surroundings. It is a skill, which can be mastered by practise and preparation. The first time you game a girl, you have a hard time to keep the conversation and the energy going. But after a while you see what works and what doesn't work. You use some canned material and afther a while it becomes part of your natural game. Shyness is a skill you can work on.

As an introvert, you have a better eye for details and a sharp humor and negs, than an extravert. Make good use of it!

PostPosted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 4:17 pm 
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Thanks anthony_pham123 for pointing out the difference between introvert and shy. It saved me some work. :-)

I am not shy, I am an introvert.

Sometimes when (after some talking) I say to the girl that I am actually an introvert they stare at me in disbelief. They probably think that introvert means shy and the only fact that I approached them was enough for them to consider me bold and not shy.

So just do it.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 8:03 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 09, 2013 9:50 pm
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just do it.
^ the best advice of all. Put yourself out there.

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