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Hi there my name is Louis I'm 23 yrs old and I have been really thinking quite a bit about this subject. As I have always struggled with confidence growing up, These past recent years though I have been in the process of building up my confidence. I have been able to find my own personal style which is kind of artistic/indie/rockerish which has helped a great deal when I know I look good I get pretty confident. now I'm not the tallest guy at 5'7 and I'd say I'm average in the physique department which I aim to improve for myself. my female friends always say that CONFIDENCE IS KEY, they tell me that I'm an attractive guy and even from some of my gay friends giving me compliments and telling me that any girl would want to sleep with me, as well as going out more and becoming more social and going to nightclubs so yes I would say I have improved from where I started, but not quite to where I want it to be because although I do feel confident sometimes I dont feel like that all the time and I find that sometimes that stops me from talking to a girl that I really want to get to know. So what I mean by this is what would be the right approach to build that "Supreme Confidence" where you feel that at ALL times, where you could walk into a room and people can feel that energy, where women can feel that energy just by speaking to you as well as being able to feel like that as well. is it simply a belief thing where if you believe it others will as well? any input would greatly appreciated.
Hi Louis.
First of all the fact that you believe you need confidence in order to make things happen is limiting. Instead, you actually want confidence so you don't have to deal with all the horrible feelings associated with taking risks and failing. No doubt approaching without skill (anxiety) and getting shot down (embarrassment, self-pity) will feel like hell.
But will these negative emotions kill you or last forever? No. So get out there, experience the pain and make friends with the aftermath. Once you realize that the pain of taking a risk with a woman and failing doesn't kill you or last very long, then you will develop true confidence. You must experience the emotions you fear enough times to know that you can handle them. It's that simple.