Hey guys... Pink here..
It was recently my birthday, I turned 22 and a lot hit me. I spent my birthday alone, in my room and was given 120$ and a 20$ gift card from subway by a close family member. I felt so hurt that I was alone, with no friends, I didn't really want a Cake either. It just hit me like, "wow this is where my life's going". It's scary. The day after my Father fought with me and didn't even care.

I hate myself, and my life.. I spend a lot of time in pain from being depressed. I'm NOT asking for pity, why? Cause I wanna fix things. I'm not an AFC complaining about it. Screw that. I just don't know how to fix it...

On a daily basis, I stay in bed all day, not really wanting to leave the house, using my phone all day... I call downstairs to my family so they can cook for me... I feel terrible... It hurts me to admit these things but if I don't I'll never get helped. I do online game, and I feel like there's something about me that girls just don't like. Not a lot of my msg's get responses. And I think, "HOW COME GIRLS DON'T LIKE ME. WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME THAT MAKES THEM NOT INTO ME?" All of this has made me confused and emotionally complex feeling like there's no way out.

I've been thru a lot already in my life, a terrible muscle disease that left me bed ridden, yet I beat it and never said "Ow" once! I was 270 lbs and I'm now 157. Sometimes I just feel like I have no more fight in me. I don't consider myself a man, I think I'm a loser...

That's it for now guys ill let you's respond to what I'm saying. Thanks!

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"Be the flame, not the moth." - Casanova

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P.S. The last girl I was with (an unexperienced virgin) always compared me to other guys. She would always feel my biceps saying they were soft saying other guys never have this, there send are hard, then I'd work out and my bicep got a little bigger. She's like "Ya I noticed.. but it's still not that big" my arms are very soft, no muscle. She'd always say I love your face, chest but not your stomach, tighs (cause there's a bit of fat on them) and penis. She'd always compare my size to other guys. So this REALLY effected me...

_________________
"Be the flame, not the moth." - Casanova

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Guys?

_________________
"Be the flame, not the moth." - Casanova

My journal confessions-of-a-seducer-journey-to-gre ... 84193.html Online/Offline, Texting & Reports.

You just need to go out and work on your network. Now if you are sad because a random girl compared you to other guys. Screw her! She doesn't know who you are, and if you set goals for yourself : Going to the gym, working on your network (Meeting people), get a job for example. It will really boost your self-esteem. And when your self-esteem is boosted, girls will automatically search attention. The reason why you don't get much attention from girls is because, you're unsatisfied with yourself. If you're unsatisfied with yourself, how can girls be satisfied with you ? So if you want to change, then change. Quit crying about yourself, and work on it. I'm not trying to be harsh, but I meet alot of people who think this way. Dang, I thought this way myself a few years ago. And don't get me wrong, EVERYBODY who is AFC gets compared to better guys. That's because you're AFC. Now if you work on yourself hard enough and become a PUA or just a connected guy having fun with alot of friends. Your entire life will change. Be open minded. Try new things out, get out of the house. I hope this helps you a bit, and if someone else is not agreeing with me, I'd like to see why because I find it interesting!

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Imdabes!

I mean that helped a lot dude, but still there's some areas I don't understand.
In online game how could a girl tell I'm not satisfied with my self, she can't see me? lol
I feel like there's something about me that makes girls not want me?

Maybe it's what I'm saying?

Why would being AFC make girls compare me to other guys. I was just being myself? I've done some amazing things picking up girls, I once picked up a girl in 10-20 seconds (not bragging) I think low self esteem just holds me back. It's very DEEP a there's a lot to get into, it hurts a lot...

How could I get a job if I have no high school diploma. I have no desire in getting one, because I want to be a musician. However that don't pay bills and etc.

My issues are a lot deeper than what I'm exactly saying. The fact that I can't logically understand them is what depresses me. That's the key to helping me become better.

There like puzzles in my mind I can't figure out and they hurt me.

_________________
"Be the flame, not the moth." - Casanova

My journal confessions-of-a-seducer-journey-to-gre ... 84193.html Online/Offline, Texting & Reports.

I don't have a high school diploma aswell. And if problems lay very deep rooted inside. Then you should see a therapist. Like stormy says. It really helps alot. And what you say can even online come off as insecure etc.

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Imdabes!

Are you successful in your life without one? What should I do to make money?

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"Be the flame, not the moth." - Casanova

My journal confessions-of-a-seducer-journey-to-gre ... 84193.html Online/Offline, Texting & Reports.

I do networkmarketing, it's a business. The name is ACN.

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Imdabes!

PinkFloyd123:

This is meant to be completely constructive... please do not be offended -----

This is a confidence issue.

If you do not have inner confidence and you don't respect yourself then why should a girl? Online, in person, texting, on the phone, whatever... If you do not project confidence and respect for yourself, people can tell... It's a turn off for girls.

I'm not saying this is the only issue you may have - but I think you need to start here.

It sounds like you've been through a lot, with your health and weight issues -- and you're a trooper for having gotten through it all.... But with that said, I wouldn't go telling people about any of that as soon as you meet them or on the first date... You need to be a person who appears to be interesting and who projects a good time if you want to build attraction. Stories of health obstacles you've overcome (while impressive) seem like they take things from fun to serious very quickly.

Just be fun.

Be happy, fun and smile. People are attracted to happy, fun people who smile. If you're not happy, fake it (not a wonderful policy, but if you want results and a girl, do what works).

It's good that you admit you're depressed and that you don't know what to do with your life. You know there's a problem and you've identified it... Whether fixing the problems yourself is a possibility, or whether you may actually need to see someone for help - I have no idea as I am not a professional.

Your education has nothing to do with anything. Own it. You didn't finish high school and you're a brilliant inventor (what do you invent? Who the fuck knows... you're constantly tinkering and have several great ideas which you're going to apply for patents on) -- There. You have a story.

Don't want to be an inventor? Make something else up... You study economics and are building predictive algorithms for financial institutions... You're a marine biologist, or you're just taking courses in school. The point is you do not have to tell people you're not educated.

I wish the best for you. Good luck.

You shouldn't online game. It's terrible. And really tedious cause it relies on social circle stuff and very good way of conveying how much value you have.

It seems to me though that you're radiating low value. And women can really sense that. Well because truly what you feel right now, is that you are low value. Which isn't true at all! You have a really high value deep inside of you!
What you need to realize is that you can be aware of how you're feeling right now, and then imagine a new you in the future, where you have conquered all this crap, and then be aware of how you would feel like then.

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"Don't try to change who you are. Don't even think you're not good enough right now. You ARE good enough being who you are. Women can smell a fake man the same way you can smell cheesecake."

Hang in there, man. Listen to what the other posters are saying; they've got it right.

My one piece of advice would be to set a goal and achieve it. If you don't have a high school diploma, get a GED. Find things you like and pursue them. Constantly working towards goals gives you a purpose.

I've always thought of depression as the inability to find hope. I'm sure all of us have experienced it at some point to an extent. Hope is out there, you just have too look for it.

Best of luck bra.

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"Real Niggaz do what they want, Bitch Niggaz do what they can do." -2pac