I joined this forum a few months ago when I first really decided to take a proactive approach to my life. While I am not where I want to be yet, I am continuously improving and I am happy for it. In reading about game and reflecting on my countless rejections however, I am coming to a conclusion that the overall nature of women is incompatible and completely opposite to who I am and who I want to be.

Over and over I have read that women respond to power, status, overconfidence, aloofness/mystery, selfishness and an almost sociopathic ethic. I am quite opposite to all that and have been rejected often for it (if PUA is valid). But the more I think about it the less I want to be those things. I want them only insofar as they are a means to get women. When I think about those traits, I am generally repulsed. When I see them in a person, I easily see why so much of our world is shitty.

There's nothing in me that really pulls me toward having any of those things. Power is corrupting, status is fleeting, overconfidence leads to miscalculations, aloofness/mystery seem fake, contrived and ultimately at odds with being emotionally close to someone, selfishness is just plain ugly and the sociopathic ethic is very unlike me. I prefer equality to power and status, rational evaluations and humility to overconfidence, directness and honesty to being aloof and mysterious, kindness to selfishness and being loving to being sociopathic.

In a very real way, this feels like a impasse. There seems to be nothing that can be done because my way of perceiving the world and the ways I want to act are at odds with the desires of women. This wouldn't be a problem if it were not for the fact that I also, naturally, want women. It seems that I am stuck between being what I detest or living a life of involuntary celibacy or, if not celibacy, than settling for the only thing I can get.

I am sharing these thoughts because I hope that I am wrong. That maybe I don't have to be an inhumane social manipulator or pretend to be larger than life to attract quality women. I'd prefer to not have to choose between being myself and women. Is there a way I can be me and not be condemned to being alone?

You may have missed the point; you can be powerful, carry your own status, be confident, mysterious, and unless you have children trust me friend "you are already selfish", you can be all of those things and not be a DICK. Put it into your own swag and own it dude...have fun and don't quit.

You are an AFC, and you won't deny it. You need to change, and I'm sure you recognize that. Changing is never easy, especially when you've grown comfortable with your own character. Psychologists will tell you personalities do not change. The reality is that to get more women, you NEED to change. You are giving excuses for not wanting to change. What if you HAD all those things you didn't have, and you slept with a different girl everynight? Would you still feel the same about power? About confidence? About status? I'm sure you wouldn't give a shit if you had a beautiful girl sucking your dick.

You do not need ALL the characteristics you listed, but just some. I'm a natural introvert, but to get girls, I too, had to change. Now the girl I'm seeing is convinced I'm an extrovert. But I know better -- deep down I'm a bubble person. With a bit more work, you will get there.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Out of all the traits you've listed only confidence is essential to a pick-up artist. In other words, as long as you have 'I am who I choose to be, if you don't like it - beat it' attitude, being introvert won't interfere with your ability to get chicks.

And to clear things up, introverts are NOT all AFCs. Just take Kurt Cobain for example, who was a true introvert but accepted it and never craved for society's approval. That approval seeking is what actually matters, and not status, money or whatever.

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topflair | lifestyle magazine

Thanks for the responses so far.

@chakara: You may be right. Maybe I have missed the point, but it seems, from what I read, if someone is not a dick then they lose a large amount of attractiveness particularly with the prettiest and most well socialized girls. Am I wrong in that conclusion?

@Fly_Swatter: I think you are assuming a lot. I was not giving excuses to change. I began my post mentioning I have already started to be proactive in my life and will continue to do so. The nature of my post is not being resistant to change in general, but rather being resistant to changes which seem to be necessary for success with women, but I do not deem as positive. I am looking ahead and it seems down the line there will be a point where I will have maximized the more agreeable changes and delve into the less desirable ones. And since it seems that it is precisely the less desirable ones, the ones having to do with being narcissistic, aloof and all the other things that I mentioned, are where the line is really drawn when it comes to being able to attract many attractive women and not being able to. To assume my forethought is merely a negative reaction to change is imprudent. My concerns are far more specific and intellectual.

As for your scenario concerning a beautiful girl every night, I'm not so sure. I have only had one girlfriend in my entire life and it lasted about half a year and I never had allowed sex or oral sex. And she tried many times to get me to. I didn't do it for principle because I didn't really respect, love and trust her. Ironically, part of the reason I didn't consider her in a higher light was because she was in so many ways perpetuating the female stereotypes that game plays upon. Every time she would express excitement or interest because I did something "alpha" I felt a little part of my affection for her die. Many times I would purposely act beta and weak to test her, to see if she would embrace it and she failed often. And that was with years of pent up sexual frustration so I really don't think what you are saying is true. I am in a lot of ways a person of principle and I will not sacrifice certain things for physical sensations. I can't imagine anything more "beta" than sacrificing myself so that women can have their prize.

@Associate Your comment is similar to chakara's so I would ask you to respond to the same question.

Bump

Okay, so what exactly is your goal? Just to get a girlfriend that will embrace your values and personality? Well that is possible... But your market would be significantly smaller. What you could alternatively do is disguise your personality to ramp up attraction, and over the course of several days/weeks, slowly let your true personality shine through. If she really likes you, she'll admire your values and stick around. If not, well she'll simply walk.

But let me ask you this... What is wrong with a good sense of humour? With confidence? With a good sense of fashion? With leadership? These are the only critical traits you need... And even then, you don't need ALL of them. But more importantly, let me bring to your attention that these traits are also important for a successful career. At least, in business they most definitely are... And I'm sure they can be applied to many other careers. The sooner you adapt to them, the more successful you'll be in life.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

My goals are to sow my old oats first and just bang as many attractive chicks as possible and then in a couple of years settle down with someone fantastic. Maybe, it's too lofty...

The reason I criticize those traits particularly is because it isn't about those traits and what they are in and of themselves. It's having a version of them that women respond to sexually. I can be funny be making a fart joke, a woman probably wouldn't find that sexy. I can be confident by calling out her bullshit plainly, but she will dislike me unless I do it in a cocky funny teasing manner. I rebel mostly against the females interpretation of these traits which is often laced with horse shit. As for your business example, I think that proves my point even more. They are among the most unethical group ever.