How to do I start becoming the person I want to be?
I've always been a shy and socially-awkward guy, really quiet at school, though some reason some girls did like me... I've definitely improved since coming older (I'm 25), and since I started working on a Customer Service Desk last year (I was a last minute replacement, other candidate pulled out after one day).
Yet I still find it hard to keeping my energy levels up high enough to attract girls. I still find it difficult smiling, especially outside - my face when I'm at home is neutral/happy, but as soon as I step outside, I have this constant scowl I find difficult to remove - I have resting-asshole-face and I'm not pretty enough to get away with it. I've always been told I should smile more. I'm not the most attractive dude on the planet, but I know at least one women like the look of me, when I do smile, that is until I open my mouth. The only open attention I get is from mature women I don't find attractive and gay men...
I'm good at my job, but when I get a customer who makes jokes and offers light-hearted conversation, I find it very difficult keeping up with the same level of enthusiasm, I kill moods with people I don't know with my awkwardness. I feel like I'm missing out on the perfect opportunity to improve my game with my job, I feel like it's becoming harder and harder for me to give a fuck about trying to make people like me, it's like a downward spiral I'm finding it hard to escape.
I'm genuinely surprised by past experiences of girls wanting to get to know me etc, even without trying, and I feel like I'm missing out on so much pu$$y if I wasn't such sombre, serious bastard all the time. I just don't see myself becoming this outgoing, funny dude that I need to become to get the girls I want.
My profile picture on Tinder; http://imgur.com/z3iqOaO