i understand what your sayin but please listen to my story. i was 17 when i got into the pick up game (im 18 now) and of course when first getting in, i went through a lot of bull**** material, until i found somethin that works. that was cocky/funny it worked wonders and i never thought about failing, just improving my witty comebacks.
fast forward till now, my passion for improving has left with no reason as to why. all my wittyness is gone and i am more self conscious about myself even thought i get compliments on my looks all the time. shouldnt i be better with women now than before? its harder for me to think of cocky/funny things to say than before. before it just came out naturally it was part of my personality and i had a reputation at school for being a cocky guy that all the girls couldnt stop talking about. if i saw a really hot girl i would just think about what i would say and it would pop into my head and i would go over and talk to her and branch out to other topics, effortlessly.
now im just trying to get back to that level, let alone improve on that. this is driving me crazy and ive been going through depression because i was so happy back then. the power feels so good knowning u can seduce any girl u meet.
i think it has to do with my confidence, even though i have no idea what brought it down in the first place. i was out with my boy a few weeks ago, and his girlfriend was there. we were all drinking and i was having a good time and she was coming on to me strongly, i was just having fun so my cocky/funny attitude came out.
so in conclusion, why does this loss of confidence/witty/cocky + funny attitudes happen and how can i stop overthinkin everything. I am desperate right now so i will do anything it takes. i just want to have my old attitude back and keep it for good.
Mate, I was seriously considering not answering your post for the simple reason that you clearly havnt read anything I posted, hijacked my post with questions you could have easily PMed me, and are quite obviously a little bit young to understand all of this (there’s a reason I only accept clients 18 and older). That being said I promised myself I'm here to give back to the community and help those in need - so rest assured my friend, your questions will be answered, but I will integrate the answers into my new post.
So without further ado...
Move forward in life
I found the community much the same way you did. A girl broke my heart, I decided enough was enough, and I wanted to change. I learned a couple lines, vomited them in a club, met a few girls, life was good... why wouldnt it be?
And then something wonderful happened
These girls failed to stick around. I found the seduction community to end heartache and found more of it in a shorter amount of time than ever before. I read articles, books, I learned, I practiced, I tried, I spat line after line, used tactic after tactic, and my results went up and down. But at a core level - I stayed the same.
By then I was already running social arts workshops and pickup workshops under the banners of two local companies and had a fair amount of field experience. I made girls giggle, I made them touch me, I made them tell their friends about me - but they never called back.
So what gives?
It only hit me a year ago exactly.
I was doing badly in school, I had no passion, my health was in shambles and my social circle was a ruined mess of unmotivated negative people. I tried aimlessly to go back to my previous level of “success”. It didnt seem complicated. What I did before worked, what I do now doesnt. Right?
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment” - Siddharta Gautama
The truth is, you were not as good as you thought you were, and the girls you are talking to now are not the same you were talking to back then. Understand that the there is no such thing as a constant in the world we live in. The world evolves, so do people, based on situations and perceptions. The fact that what you were doing before no longer works is a clear indication that you are GROWING.
You’re “old attitude” will not come back, and you will not keep it for good. You will continue to evolve along the path you set for yourself, as well as grow in the direction you choose to go in. I laugh at myself every time I catch myself thinking about the past in a glorified way. “Damn man, what was I doing right back then that I’m not doing now?” I would ask myself. But it isnt difficult to see through the BS and realise that the past wasnt the past I thought it was, and that the game looks like a curve rather than a linear process. I feel like a douche for quoting Neil Strauss but he said it very well:
“In some respects, surfing reminded me of sarging. Some days you go out and catch every wave and think you're a champ; other days you don't get one good wave and you think you suck. But no matter what, every day you go out and you learn and you improve. And that's what keeps you coming back”.
Looking back, every wave is like a new level in a video game. Just as each time you level up, you have to learn new combos - every cycle you go through, you have to learn new ways to adapt your game to fit your situation. Just as each time you level up, the bosses you have to beat get tougher - every cycle you go through brings you to a higher quality of girls in your life, and keeping them around is a real challenge.
Why your lines are not working
Vin Dicarlo once said that an insecure man with lines and routines is still an insecure man.
Stop trying to think about lines, stop trying to recreate a false identity. GO AND READ MY ABOVE POSTS and start integrating the mindsets I preach into your day to day life. Free yourself. Right now you are trapped in a box YOU created. You said it yourself; “ I am desperate right now so i will do anything it takes. i just want to have my old attitude back and keep it for good”. Why? That wasn’t the real you. You just read a couple books or posts and then regurgitated what you read. You got a couple giggles - awesome, and your ego was stroked, but in the end you accomplished nothing and so here you are, broken.
Practical application time?
The more I live life, the more I realise that less is in fact more. This is the topic for an upcoming post, so I wont get too much into it, but basically, you dont need as much as you think you do to attract a girl.
Stop chasing after some nonexistent standard you think you once lived up to. A man does not go backward in life, only forward. Let go of your expectations, take time to find yourself and what kind of person you want to be, and then apply it in your day to day.
Am I telling you not to be a cocky guy? Not at all, be as cocky as you want, but the cocky Alpha’s you see in real life? I promise you they never read Double Your Dating. It works for them because their cockiness stems from TRUE confidence. It isn’t artificial. It isn’t a mask.
This probably isnt the answer you were looking for, and you probably will discard it, just as I have discarded great advice many times along my journey, but I hope you will find your path and open your eyes.
Good luck, let me know how it goes, and PM me if you have further questions, this thread is for everyone’s benefit.
Love and lots of it