The Centered Man Manifesto: Defining Your Identity



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PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2012 1:29 am 
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This will be the first of a series of posts, based on the stuff my colleagues and I have been working on for the past year and a half. Feel free to ask any questions or comments.

External Vs Intrinsic Value

Recently while sitting and having a drink in my room in the company of a beautiful young lady, I had an epiphany. We were sitting and discussing the recent events in our lives and she went on to tell me everything that wasn’t going right in her life. This girl had MAJOR baggage and as beautiful as she was, I felt the deep sorrow in her just by looking in her eyes. This may seem like nothing extraordinary at first glance, but it hit me hard as a fat kid looking in the mirror for the first time.

You see, for the longest time I had crushed over this girl. I wanted her, badly. For some strange reason she seemed to have been cut from a different cloth. Where other girls rolled over for me, she would bite back with witty remarks. Where other girls fell hard she challenged me. This girl had game and so, like any other common chump, I bent over backwards and actually allowed myself to feel intimidated by her. We went out on a grand total of three dates and I never heard from her again after that.

Why you should never let anyone make you feel intimidated, ever.

Fast forward about a year later and I bump into her on my way home from work. We chat a bit and decide to grab a coffee. She starts to tell me about everything that has been going on with her over the past year and while listening, I start to see things much, much clearer than before.

I had been reading a lot about the Self lately and things vaguely began to fall into place, but never so clearly as that evening I spent with her. Everything I had been working on, all the bits and pieces that had previously eluded me began to swirl all around me and then promptly fell into place to form a clear picture in my mind.

We constantly hear people telling us to “be higher value”, “demonstrate value”, or “bring value”, but no one is able to clearly define just what said value is.

There are two components to value

External value is what we see everyday. External value is money, cars, looks, clothes, or whatever else we deem valuable today. External value is an illusion. A stunning beauty in a club has the highest value, but put her in a room full of Victoria’s Secret models and the value will shift immediately.

I finally understood...

… what Brad Pitt in Fight Club meant when he said “You are not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis”.

None of this value is real. Those who set these external assets up as the support to who they are as a person are doomed to suffering. Robbed of an identity, they sway aimlessly, forever letting others set the standards for the life they are living.

YOU ARE NOT THE CONTENTS OF YOUR WALLET.

Then there is Intrinsic, internal Value

“The Self cannot be pierced by weapons or burned by fire; water cannot wet it, nor can wind dry it. It is everlasting and infinite, standing on the motionless foundations of eternity. The Self is unmanifested, beyond all thought, beyond all change”. - Bhagavad Gita (2:23)

Intrinsic value is the purest you, unhindered by external factors, complete and solid. It is the foundation on which your being evolves. Think of it like this; We are born ‘pure’ so to speak. Simply look at children to understand what I mean here: Children have a genuine thirst for life, and no ego to hinder them. They go after what they want, simply because they want it. They don’t stop to ask themselves banal questions like “do I deserve this?” or “am I worthy?”, they simply reach for what they want. Along the course of our lives, rules and norms are imposed on us, which in turn set up barriers in front of our intrinsic self. In other words, the greatness in us doesn’t diminish, it merely clouds. If you took a walk into a tunnel and just kept going deeper and deeper until it is all dark, is the light non-existent? It is still there, but you went too far away.

The ego plays tricks on us

It builds barrier after barrier in front of our Intrinsic self to gently push us to rely on the external value it fabricated for us. “These people think I’m cool so I must be cool bro”. WRONG BRO. You are cool, regardless of what these people define you as, you are whatever you decide to be. All it takes is to be mindful of this process and decide not to be a part of it, to make the conscious first step from the wobbly throne of the ego onto the cement foundations that is you. The REAL you.

YOU DO NOT NEED GURUS

Everything you need to know about life, who you are, and game, you are BORN WITH. It is in your biological makeup. You’re job now is to break down the barriers that are stopping you. Break down what stands between you and true knowledge. I discovered this after turning off my phone, facebook, and staying away from seduction material for a month. I got rid of every external distraction and looked within for answers.

So I looked in her sad, lonely eyes...

And realized that she is no different than I am. That no matter how many men chased after her, no matter how physically attractive she might be, no matter how intimidating she might seem... She is just a girl. She cries, she laughs, she eats and she sleeps, same as I do. We are the same. I am good enough, I deserve her, and I refuse to be intimidated.

WE ARE ALL THE SAME

My value is not higher than yours. Your value is not higher than mine. My car could be faster than yours, just as your biceps might be bigger than mine. All of this means nothing. All that matters is letting the real you shine through at ALL times. Bury your ego, rid yourself of external hindrances and artificial value and let your true Self manifest.

So how can I put all this spiritual mumbo jumbo into practical use?


I remember a good friend of mine I used to hang out with who worked in Dubai for about a year. He called me up once he returned and we decided to grab a drink and discussed every way in which he had grown over the past year. We spoke about our experiences, professional or otherwise, and started talking about this very subject. It was interesting to take a look at my roots (we used to think very much alike) and realize just how wrong I had been. We talked about various situations in which he promptly pointed out that I was losing value in each situation. I shook my head. None of these women thought any less of me. I thought about all the stupid things I had been saying to girls lately (those who have gone out with me can attest to that - I should be blown out MUCH more often than I do), and how most of the time they go along with it. I thought about all the times I did things that may seem chumpish to most and yet - magically - my girls have stayed with me. Who am I losing value to? No one can take away who I am, so why pretend that it’s even a remote possibility?

Disconnect your ego from the equation

You see a beautiful girl and you want her. The ONLY thing that should be going through your head is “she is going to be mine”. As of today, DELETE the following thoughts from your programming; “I am not good enough”, “She’s out of my league”, “I would have to be rich/famous”. Don’t think. Thinking is the barrier that hinders your intrinsic value from expressing itself. Desire and love are the ONLY way to free your inner self.

Desire= Upon seeing a woman, you ask yourself “Do I want her? Yes or no”. If the answer is yes, by the time you have thought of the answer, your feet have already moved in her direction. You are a man of desire, a man who is guided by his passions.

Love= without love, you cannot have passion. Do you genuinely love women? Do you genuinely love the life you live? Most importantly, do you genuinely LOVE yourself? Do you feel you are worthy? You are every girl’s wet dream, and your hesitation is depriving her of a real man.

YOU CANNOT LOSE A GAME YOU REFUSE TO PLAY

This begs the question: What is rejection?
If your ego is disconnected from the process, and your true self shines through, where does rejection fit in? The answer my dear friends is simple: It doesn’t. Rejection does NOT exist.
When you have completed yourself, when you have peeled back your ego and approach out of desire and love, you no longer need her reactions to validate you. You are a man who is attracted to women and appreciates women, and you are letting her know of this, regardless of whether she chooses to accept it or not. Everyone has the right to invite, just as everyone has the right to refuse.

Does this mean no women will ever turn her back on you again? Absolutely not. But rejection will not hurt. It is an illusion, the pain associated to it is just your ego’s response, not your true self. You cannot take away something from someone who needs nothing, and you sure as hell can’t lose a game you aren't playing.

In conclusion

Act.

Act on your desire. You see something you want, GO for it. Climb that mountain, conquer that challenge, and GET that girl. It is what you were designed to do. Refuse the standards others have set for you, free your mind from the torments of the ego, and always let your true self shine through.

“But those who realize the Self are always satisfied. Having found the source of joy and fulfillment, they no longer seek happiness from the external world. Competing with no one, they have nothing to gain or lose by any action; neither people nor things can affect their security.” -Bhagavad Gita (3:15)

Love and lots of it
TheMack

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PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2012 2:32 pm 
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Well said.

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PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 4:18 am 
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Identity and Dharma

We spoke earlier about love, and I asked the question: "Do you truly love women?"

This may seem like an odd enough question, considering that this post is dedicated to a community whose sole purpose is to enhance our understanding of women...

And yet, I have met very few men out there who genuinely love women.

Think about it for one second

I asked myself this question recently as I took a client out on workshop.
We had been walking around downtown and after a couple (horribly botched, sorry-excuses of) approaches (*I am notoriously tough on my clients), I sat him down to go through just what he was doing wrong. As we discussed this, I spotted a cute little brunette walk by from the corner of my eye. I then turned my gaze to my client and watched as his eyes hungrily followed her movements. I smiled and innocently asked him "she's hot eh?". He looked at me and answered "Oh hell yes!" and gave me one of those looks like I was supposed to high five him for finding a woman attractive. Instead, I raised an eyebrow and asked "What are you waiting for?". He looked quite surprised that our moment of camaraderie had evaporated and was now replaced by a challenge.

"What, right now?"

Nah man. Tomorrow.

YES. Right now. Because the universe responds to one thing: Action.
Some call it God, my holy guardian angel, mother nature, or the universe, but it is there, it is real, and it is benevolent. What you ask for, it gives you, but it sure as hell is not stupid. It gives you a shot - JUST ONE and you either take it or you don't.

Let me put it another way: If you have time to think about it, you have already lost. As simple as that.

When you see a women - and I mean REALLY SEE HER. She stands out of the crowd. She is walking there, with her fancy clothes, her hair well combed, her eyes shining and beautiful, and you feel this jolt of energy in the pit of your stomach, but then something terrible happens; Your brain steps in and all of a sudden you are confronted with a thousand reasons not to approach her.

"What should I say?"

... is probably the question I get asked the most. My answer is always the same "how you feel".

Unfortunately, this client responded with "I'm gonna use the 'who would win in a fight, SPAM or superman?' opener!"

As I worked to restrain myself from facepalming, I calmly explained to him that he sure as hell did not care about who would win in a fight, and I doubt she did either.

"You want her, you find her attractive, go over there, grab your balls in one hand, and use the other hand to shake hers, and tell her how adorable she looks". To which he responded with the following statement that also happens to be responsible for this post..

"But... isnt it embarassing?"

And that's when it all made sense. You see there is much speculation as to why the community has an over-95% dropout rate. Why do most not get good with women? Why do some give up and pack up their shit?

Lets talk about Dharma

"Considering your Dharma, you should not vacillate. For a warrior, nothing is higher than a war against evil". - Bhagavad Gita (2:31)

This verse spoke to me. For those of you who have read the Gita, you will understand that almost every single line in it has multiple meanings and can be directly applied to every day life. Upon taking a closer look here, it's important to understand the meaning of Dharma.

Dharma is the basically natural law. According to Wikipedia "As well as referring to Law in the universal or abstract sense dharma designates those behaviours considered necessary for the maintenance of the natural order of things".

It reminds me of the story of the frog and the scorpion (look it up). Basically: The fighter fights, the dreamer dreams, and the lover loves.

The lover loves

I know what you are wondering, and the answer is yes, he did end up approaching the girl, he did tell her she was cute, and he never again asked me a stupid question like that.

The problem with most people in this community is they dont genuinely LOVE women. They didnt stop to think about what they want out of all this, and so they swarm the pickup boards with stupid ideas like "I just want a girlfriend" and "I want to get all kinds of new phone numbers from girls" without taking time to sit down and go "okay well what KIND of girl to I want in my life?".

Women are NOT a number

... They are people. Most of the guys that flood the forum and then quit only see women as a tool to fill the void they have deep inside them when they first came here. Like a drug addict reaching desperately for his next fix.

Go out each day looking for that one girl that is truly memorable. Morph your identity to become a lover of women. It is in you. Biologically, it is what you were put on this earth to do, you just somehow got lost while watching Game of Thrones.

There is a greater world out there

So how to apply this practically?

Simply: Turn off your mind, and act on your emotions. This seems like rather conflicting advice since we men tend to be more logical than emotional.

Think of it this way: We spoke earlier about that jolt of energy you feel in your stomach when you see that hot girl. What I want you to do now is to - BEFORE your brain even has the time to process the reasons you should not approach - You have already begun walking in her direction.

You love her. You already do. You dont know her, but you love her - because to hate is to be owned. Why let someone own you like that? You love her because it is what you were BORN to do. Her smell, her hair, her tenderness, how cute she looks when she sleeps... do I need to list everything?

Let that passion overtake you. Dont go through some logical process - it isnt logical to begin with. Let your love be the driving force behind your action. Make it your Dharma to be a lover of women. She will feel it, trust me.

To quote coach Curiel: "Heart. Mind. Balls. If you have two, you can play, but you will never be great. To be great, you need all three."

"But I have REALLY bad AA"

No you dont. You just dont allow yourself to love fully. Love is free of ego, free of fear, free of worry. Love is a beautiful, pure energy. USE IT.

Dont ever let your logic overpower your drive for success... Let your love for women shine through in your day to day. You'll be surprised at how much it enriches your life.

Love and lots of it
TheMack[/b]

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PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 3:33 pm 
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Mack,

Again some great posts. Some of those comments I've heard out of people I've taken out as clients and friends as well, and it brings back memories.

I hope everyone who is reading this is paying solid attention because this is the TRUTH right here!
Quote:
"What should I say?"

... is probably the question I get asked the most. My answer is always the same "how you feel".

Unfortunately, this client responded with "I'm gonna use the 'who would win in a fight, SPAM or superman?' opener!"
:lol: I couldn't help but laugh on this one. I have been there so many times. I still cringe every time someone messages me and says, "I have a new neg..."
Quote:
"But... isnt it embarassing?"

And that's when it all made sense. You see there is much speculation as to why the community has an over-95% dropout rate. Why do most not get good with women? Why do some give up and pack up their shit?
This is absolutely a big thing here on the forum. As I'm sure Mack can attest to from teaching as well, the motivation to really want change in your life is not something we here on the forum or as instructors can provide you. You have to have your own reasons to change and motivate yourself...whether its to go out there and TRY & FAIL with women or its embarassing yourself lifting weights for the first time.

Think of the reasons you want to change yourself. Think of the goals you want to accomplish. Think of all the things you want for yourself. Use those things to motivate you to approach and try.

We can all provide people with reasons why they should change, but whether or not they are in a place in their life where they "want it" bad enough is entirely different.
Quote:
Women are NOT a number

... They are people. Most of the guys that flood the forum and then quit only see women as a tool to fill the void they have deep inside them when they first came here. Like a drug addict reaching desperately for his next fix.

Go out each day looking for that one girl that is truly memorable. Morph your identity to become a lover of women. It is in you. Biologically, it is what you were put on this earth to do, you just somehow got lost while watching Game of Thrones.
AMEN! :D

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PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2012 4:38 pm 
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Thanks for the kind words. You seem to know your stuff JSmooth, looking forward to hearing more from you.

Theres more on the way!

Love and lots of it
TheMack

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 8:59 am 
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thank you.


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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:50 pm 
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why are good posts always long :(


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PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2012 9:16 am 
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Bookmarked, its rare finding a thread where the author actually speaks to me.
I hope you update it with more info, thanks.

ps whatever happened to that client of yours?


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PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 3:51 am 
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I apologize for the late post, I was in Scotland and filming some in-field footage.
Today's topic is...

Honesty

Let's talk about honesty, a subject i find is ignored by just about 99.9% of the community.

Why? because there is this vague, underlying assumption that seduction and honesty are mutually exclusive. That telling the truth is the equivalent of surrendering, or worse, that it will land you in the dreaded friendzone.

When was the last time you heard a so-called Guru proclaim loudly and clearly; "Alright boys, tonight you are going to go out, and you are going to be completely honest to women. You are going to tell them exactly what you want from them, and exactly what is going through your heads. Good luck"

But that can't be proper game. Seduction is about tactics and lies. Honesty is the antithesis of game... right?

WRONG

Seduction is the most honest thing on the planet. Seduction is that beautiful moment when two people are connected straight down to the soul. In that instant, nothing else exists and nothing else matters. It is honest, it is pure. There is no selfishness, nor is there any deceit, just honesty in it's purest form.

What about game? Isn't flirting the same as lying? No. This is the topic for another post but quite simply put: There is no such thing as game. The moment you open your eyes, you ARE game. End of story.

I am honestly disappointed to see the lies being spread like wildfire in this community when this should be something SO simple.

How do I apply honesty in my game?

The moment you see a girl you are attracted to, there is instant chemistry, and you receive a jolt of energy all through your body. Within a few seconds however, that energy is shadowed by the stream of thoughts that flood your mind. Thoughts like "What if she doesnt want me?" and "What should I open with?" are equally destructive. Don't fool yourself. You're inner game is not solid simply because you revert to tactics as a protection mechanism. They are all just a manifestation of you're ego blocking your progress.

I had set up a date with a girl I met a couple weeks back. The day before the scheduled date, I received a text from her:

her: "Heyyyy. Is it okay if I bring a friend?"
Me: "Hell no."

I was actually giggling at this because I got a flash back to Mack of summer 2011, and how a girl I kinda liked pulled this crap on me, and I said okay. All of a sudden there were two girls in my car talking and ignoring me. We hung out with other friends and they forgot about me. I tried to close at the end, got a weak peck on the lips and never saw her again. I had over a year of field experience at that point... I really wish I had been taught honesty.

her: "She looks like my twin tho!"
me: "Fun, but I wanna spend time with you, not her. This time I choose, next time you choose and can bring as many friends as you like".
her: "haha okay deal :P"
me: "Good girl, see you tomorrow"

What more did I need to say? I couldve pretended that I didnt mind, use some kind of retarded tactic, thrown in some Dual Induction Massage I learnt off that post from that guy who never actually tried it himself...

What do you want?

You need to ask yourself what do you WANT? Weak men beat around the bush. They accept mediocrity and they settle for what they don't actually want, and then they rationalize "Well at least I got this far". Sure. Great, cool man!

It pains me to see that people are STILL lying to women about their expectations, STILL hurting themselves and hurting others, just because they fear their own honesty.

Fate loves the fearless

Decide what you want and then run towards it at blinding speed. Nothing gets in your way. You want to be successful? GO AND DO IT. You want to be great with women? GO OUT AND SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THEM. You want a girlfriend? Go find the one that stands out from the crowd. Dont lie to her, tell her she is the cutest thing ever, tell her you want her to be your girlfriend. Yours and no one else's. Celebrate her and make her feel unique.

You dont want a girlfriend? You want to just fool around with her? Look her deep in the eye and tell her you want her, you want to do dirty, horrible things to her. You might not be there in the morning, but if she's willing to take the risk, she should take your hand and go on the greatest adventure of her life.

Everyone has the right to invite, everyone has the right to refuse

I remember when I had some intricate text game method. It was even put up on Cliffs list a few years back. Some clients who came across it still ask me about it and I kind of just shrug because, frankly, I dont use it anymore. My text game looks like this: The Opener, the qualifier, the close and whatever else you want to throw in, are all found in a single text.

"Hey troublemaker. Life is short, you're cute and you turn me on. Lets go on an adventure".

Who cares what comes afterwards?

A real man never lies about his intentions. Liars beware, there are a few real men left out there, and you don't stand a chance.

Love and lots of it
TheMack

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:44 pm 
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i understand what your sayin but please listen to my story. i was 17 when i got into the pick up game (im 18 now) and of course when first getting in, i went through a lot of bull**** material, until i found somethin that works. that was cocky/funny it worked wonders and i never thought about failing, just improving my witty comebacks.

fast forward till now, my passion for improving has left with no reason as to why. all my wittyness is gone and i am more self conscious about myself even thought i get compliments on my looks all the time. shouldnt i be better with women now than before? its harder for me to think of cocky/funny things to say than before. before it just came out naturally it was part of my personality and i had a reputation at school for being a cocky guy that all the girls couldnt stop talking about. if i saw a really hot girl i would just think about what i would say and it would pop into my head and i would go over and talk to her and branch out to other topics, effortlessly.

now im just trying to get back to that level, let alone improve on that. this is driving me crazy and ive been going through depression because i was so happy back then. the power feels so good knowning u can seduce any girl u meet.

i think it has to do with my confidence, even though i have no idea what brought it down in the first place. i was out with my boy a few weeks ago, and his girlfriend was there. we were all drinking and i was having a good time and she was coming on to me strongly, i was just having fun so my cocky/funny attitude came out.

so in conclusion, why does this loss of confidence/witty/cocky + funny attitudes happen and how can i stop overthinkin everything. I am desperate right now so i will do anything it takes. i just want to have my old attitude back and keep it for good.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 8:45 pm 
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Quote:
i understand what your sayin but please listen to my story. i was 17 when i got into the pick up game (im 18 now) and of course when first getting in, i went through a lot of bull**** material, until i found somethin that works. that was cocky/funny it worked wonders and i never thought about failing, just improving my witty comebacks.

fast forward till now, my passion for improving has left with no reason as to why. all my wittyness is gone and i am more self conscious about myself even thought i get compliments on my looks all the time. shouldnt i be better with women now than before? its harder for me to think of cocky/funny things to say than before. before it just came out naturally it was part of my personality and i had a reputation at school for being a cocky guy that all the girls couldnt stop talking about. if i saw a really hot girl i would just think about what i would say and it would pop into my head and i would go over and talk to her and branch out to other topics, effortlessly.

now im just trying to get back to that level, let alone improve on that. this is driving me crazy and ive been going through depression because i was so happy back then. the power feels so good knowning u can seduce any girl u meet.

i think it has to do with my confidence, even though i have no idea what brought it down in the first place. i was out with my boy a few weeks ago, and his girlfriend was there. we were all drinking and i was having a good time and she was coming on to me strongly, i was just having fun so my cocky/funny attitude came out.

so in conclusion, why does this loss of confidence/witty/cocky + funny attitudes happen and how can i stop overthinkin everything. I am desperate right now so i will do anything it takes. i just want to have my old attitude back and keep it for good.
Mate, I was seriously considering not answering your post for the simple reason that you clearly havnt read anything I posted, hijacked my post with questions you could have easily PMed me, and are quite obviously a little bit young to understand all of this (there’s a reason I only accept clients 18 and older). That being said I promised myself I'm here to give back to the community and help those in need - so rest assured my friend, your questions will be answered, but I will integrate the answers into my new post.

So without further ado...

Move forward in life

I found the community much the same way you did. A girl broke my heart, I decided enough was enough, and I wanted to change. I learned a couple lines, vomited them in a club, met a few girls, life was good... why wouldnt it be?

And then something wonderful happened

These girls failed to stick around. I found the seduction community to end heartache and found more of it in a shorter amount of time than ever before. I read articles, books, I learned, I practiced, I tried, I spat line after line, used tactic after tactic, and my results went up and down. But at a core level - I stayed the same.

By then I was already running social arts workshops and pickup workshops under the banners of two local companies and had a fair amount of field experience. I made girls giggle, I made them touch me, I made them tell their friends about me - but they never called back.

So what gives?

It only hit me a year ago exactly.
I was doing badly in school, I had no passion, my health was in shambles and my social circle was a ruined mess of unmotivated negative people. I tried aimlessly to go back to my previous level of “success”. It didnt seem complicated. What I did before worked, what I do now doesnt. Right?

Wrong.

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment” - Siddharta Gautama

The truth is, you were not as good as you thought you were, and the girls you are talking to now are not the same you were talking to back then. Understand that the there is no such thing as a constant in the world we live in. The world evolves, so do people, based on situations and perceptions. The fact that what you were doing before no longer works is a clear indication that you are GROWING.

Guess what!

You’re “old attitude” will not come back, and you will not keep it for good. You will continue to evolve along the path you set for yourself, as well as grow in the direction you choose to go in. I laugh at myself every time I catch myself thinking about the past in a glorified way. “Damn man, what was I doing right back then that I’m not doing now?” I would ask myself. But it isnt difficult to see through the BS and realise that the past wasnt the past I thought it was, and that the game looks like a curve rather than a linear process. I feel like a douche for quoting Neil Strauss but he said it very well:
“In some respects, surfing reminded me of sarging. Some days you go out and catch every wave and think you're a champ; other days you don't get one good wave and you think you suck. But no matter what, every day you go out and you learn and you improve. And that's what keeps you coming back”.

Looking back, every wave is like a new level in a video game. Just as each time you level up, you have to learn new combos - every cycle you go through, you have to learn new ways to adapt your game to fit your situation. Just as each time you level up, the bosses you have to beat get tougher - every cycle you go through brings you to a higher quality of girls in your life, and keeping them around is a real challenge.

Why your lines are not working

Vin Dicarlo once said that an insecure man with lines and routines is still an insecure man.

Stop trying to think about lines, stop trying to recreate a false identity. GO AND READ MY ABOVE POSTS and start integrating the mindsets I preach into your day to day life. Free yourself. Right now you are trapped in a box YOU created. You said it yourself; “ I am desperate right now so i will do anything it takes. i just want to have my old attitude back and keep it for good”. Why? That wasn’t the real you. You just read a couple books or posts and then regurgitated what you read. You got a couple giggles - awesome, and your ego was stroked, but in the end you accomplished nothing and so here you are, broken.

Practical application time?

The more I live life, the more I realise that less is in fact more. This is the topic for an upcoming post, so I wont get too much into it, but basically, you dont need as much as you think you do to attract a girl.

Stop chasing after some nonexistent standard you think you once lived up to. A man does not go backward in life, only forward. Let go of your expectations, take time to find yourself and what kind of person you want to be, and then apply it in your day to day.

Am I telling you not to be a cocky guy? Not at all, be as cocky as you want, but the cocky Alpha’s you see in real life? I promise you they never read Double Your Dating. It works for them because their cockiness stems from TRUE confidence. It isn’t artificial. It isn’t a mask.

This probably isnt the answer you were looking for, and you probably will discard it, just as I have discarded great advice many times along my journey, but I hope you will find your path and open your eyes.

Good luck, let me know how it goes, and PM me if you have further questions, this thread is for everyone’s benefit.

Love and lots of it
Mack

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 12:33 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2012 6:25 pm
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i usually don't like reading long post, mostly due to the fact that most look fabricated and fake but urs really had a big impact on me, I'm always open to receiving great advice not just about women but life itself thanks for providing both brother


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 5:07 pm 
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Posts: 322
Location: Where the sun meets the sky
I apologize for not posting in forever. I had some guests over and then had our first annual Centered Man Project Free Seminar in Montreal. It went absolutely amazing and I want to thank all those who attended!


I am going to take a sharp turn away from the more spiritual-themed posts, but go into something that has been bugging me for a long time.

For the past 4 days straight, I have taken one hour a day to browse through the forums and find topics worth answering, and I can safely say that finding a good topic lately is about as common as finding a unicorn.

Here are just a few gems to brighten your mornings:

"Girl flaked on me 3 times, should I freeze her out?"
or
"Is my opener any good?" (like seriously man?!)
and my personal favorite
"What is the best, 100% GUARANTEED opener?"

I don't usually do things out of anger and prefer to breathe it out first, and after carefully considering it, I decided to write something a little bit different.

Pure Masculinity

Gather 'round the fire boys, its time to listen.

I find it interesting to see the trends in modern pickup and how they almost all lack what should be THE most important factor in the industry... Masculinity.

I personally hate to introduce any community guys to my natural friends but in the rare occasions that we do bump into each other, just a simple glance from natural to synthetic is enough to see who REALLY has his shit together... you guessed it, the natural. So why is that?

Most modern pickup schools teach all varieties of methods, ideas, tactics and concepts to get the girl, but merely gloss over masculinity. In fact I've even seen some instructors that DONT EVEN BRING IT UP. None of these people stopped to think for a second about how wrong they actually are.

How can you make her feel like a woman, if you can't bring yourself to feel like a man?

That thing ALL naturals have in common? They are ALL fiercely masculine.

I once had a client ask me an interesting question. After our workshop, I was on my way home, and he sent me a text asking; "I'm thinking about what you've been telling me. I've always been mister social, I've never been dominant. Can I stay that way?" My answer; "No."

So what exactly is masculinity?

Most people have this impression that masculinity is aggression, that it is the opposite of warmth, that it requires big muscles and an overflow of testosterone.
None of these assumptions are correct.

Masculinity isnt so much a question of learning new traits, but more of discarding the wrong ones. Like I had earlier spoken about the Ego, and peeling back the barriers in the way of the Self will lead you to self-discovery, in very much the same way, peeling back feminine and artificial traits will bring you closer to who you truly are - a man.

You were BORN a man. Stop looking elsewhere for an answer you already have! You have just been programmed at a young age to be a certain way. I remember a family dinner we once had (I have a big family) and my older brother got into a political discussion with some relatives. At the end of the conversation, my very conservative grandmother took my brother aside and chided him for, and I quote here, "monopolizing the conversation". I love my grandmother to death, but my brother is masculine to his very core. We were never very close, and his moving away to another continent certainly did not help things, but I always respected him.
The things I worked hard to learn, he already had.

Simply turn on your TV. Put in an episode of Friends and watch. Do you think Ross or Chandler could ever get a girl in real life? Their chances of reproducing are VERY slim.

I see it all the time... men walking into my work being lead by their wives. The wife picks out all kinds og things for him to try on while he sits down meekly and complies. How happy is their relationship? How long will it last? And if it has, how often has the wife looked on other men and wondered what if? (unless she has already indulged that wish).

So what do I do?


Be a man. It starts the moment you decide to become one. How do you do that? Simple, listen to your gut. It's the only thing that won't lie to you, that can't be programmed, that can't be humbled or silenced. It was there when you were born and will be there when you will die.

Be decisive. "She looks cute. hmmm shoud I? Should I not? Is she even that hot?" or "What do you feel like doing tonight babe? I don't really know what I want to do, so you decide babe!" man the fk up. Indecision is a woman's job. It's in her nature to not know what she wants, because the only thing she's sure of is the fact that she wants a man to come and make things easy for her. She wants a man to come into her life and decide. "I want you, you're mine".

Be valuable. I don't mean write down DHV stories, I mean have strict rules for the way you want to be treated. A man doesn't put up with childish behavior. "I feel disrespected, because I keep calling and she keeps screening my calls, but I think Im going to freeze her out and then try to call her again in a week". No. You betrayed yourself and you want to keep at it? Move on with your life.

Be solid. Most men go through life wobbling around from one woman to the next. They whine on the forums “Why did she shit test me THAT bad?!”. She is shit testing you because she is looking for YOU. She doesn’t want the fake you, she wants the real you. The man. Her shit tests are her way of being sure that you are what you seem to be, why would you blame her for looking for a real man? You failed a shit test? Boo hoo. Suck it up and work harder on yourself. If you can’t handle her shit, how in the hell are you supposed to protect her the rest of the world’s shit?

Be non-judgmental. Seriously guys, this double standard needs to GO. I find it hilarious when I see guys bragging about all the girls they’ve been with RIGHT in front of the girl they’re trying to game, and then look shocked when she’s tried something a little bit more out there. It’s a serious lack of maturity to blame a woman for expressing her sexuality, and guess what; The fantasies she feels ashamed to do with you only opens the door for men like me to fulfill.

Be protective - but not jealous. This distinction took me a little while to understand. Men have a misconception that a woman is his PROPERTY. This is fundamentally wrong. Women are your RESPONSIBILITY, not your property. When she goes out with her friends, you feel that urge to say no, or something meek like “let me know if you need help”. All of those are an expression of INSECURITY and she can sense that. Her instincts kick in and she notices that lack of confidence. But why? Logically speaking, what is the only way you can stop her from cheating? Simple: Lock her in a cage in your basement. If you’re unwilling to do that (and I bloody well hope you are or we have other issues to discuss), then LET GO. If she does something stupid, the only loser is her, because she deprived herself of a quality man. Don’t even bother getting angry and lecturing her, just walk away. See rule number 3.

I can go on forever with these rules but essentially, being a man boils down to three core components: Never let your emotions outweigh your logic. Act within your intentions. Make no excuses for your desires.

Allow me to give two very real examples. I was sitting down with Cliff (from Cliff’s list) and we were talking about a friend of ours. A natural. We were saying how he’s the only one we know who can call a girl over on any given night and the girls would come. This guy gets laid every single night with GORGEOUS women, and we couldnt for the life of us understand how he does it. He isnt a phenomenally good looking guy. He’s rather plain, slightly overweight, and yet this guy pulls quality girls EVERY NIGHT. He’s not aggressive, but he is dominant. He makes his own rules and yet he’s VERY friendly, one of the most laid-back guys I know. But when a girl it as his place, she is his. As simple as that.

Let’s take a look at the other end of the spectrum. A guy I’ve known for years. I traveled to Scotland with him recently and we got to know each other much better. He’s tall, in shape, good looking, and is a successful doctor. One thing is, he is quiet. He’s not mister social, he’s mister mysterious. This guy has pulled ass like you wouldnt believe. From massive orgies to playmates of the year. One thing that really took me by surprise was that he was talking to his girlfriend at the time (a stunning olive-skinned brunette), and she had broken the agreement they had, and he immediately said goodbye, hung up the phone and told me it was over, and then went about his business. This was a girl he was considering for marriage. She broke an agreement and therefore lost his trust. He didn’t think twice, he didn’t whine about it or let his emotions take over, he did what a man does: He made a decision and moved on.

Two different character types, the same habits.

Don’t settle for being boys, its time to be a man!

Love and lots of it
Mack

_________________
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 1:18 pm 
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I toke my time reading carefully every single post you`ve wrote, and between yesterday and now I got to the end.
Let`s hope to see more.

Now: I was going to ask a few questions on how to get in the path of becoming a man, cause lately that`s what`s been going on inside my head.
It`s not the number of chicks you`ve scored, it`s actually about how are you leading your life towards the natural path it`s supposed to take: and if you are here you are probable a man or a project of one.

Lucky enough for me, you already gave me that answer in your previous post; but I find an incongruency or at least what it seems to me like one:

In your first post you say to act on our emotions, that`s the proper way to go. Stop overthinking about everything, letting our mind aside of ruling us and to simple do as we feel.
Now on your how to be a man post, you state to never let our emotions outweight our logic, to net rely on our emotions.

Now I`m sure this will come as an answer on these two phases being separate one of the other, and in order to become a man I must first let go of my overthinking brain and see my emotions get out there, so I can after start using my logical brain over these emotional self in order to get the girl.
But can you deliver a more specific answer to this question?
Don`t want you to distract yourself from your goal cause it`s really helpfull at least to me the way you are structuring your post, but if you manage to take a little time; I also wanted to ask you this:

On the first post you basicallly propouse to forget about what our ego tought us, letting go of the ego is basically "risking it all" to our ego mind, and understanding that there is a life after that.
Here is my question: How can you do such a thing? I know you`ve stated to take ACTION, but how can I UNlearn all this stuff that`s inside my head?

Thanks man =)


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 8:33 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 322
Location: Where the sun meets the sky
Quote:
I toke my time reading carefully every single post you`ve wrote, and between yesterday and now I got to the end.
Let`s hope to see more.

Now: I was going to ask a few questions on how to get in the path of becoming a man, cause lately that`s what`s been going on inside my head.
It`s not the number of chicks you`ve scored, it`s actually about how are you leading your life towards the natural path it`s supposed to take: and if you are here you are probable a man or a project of one.

Lucky enough for me, you already gave me that answer in your previous post; but I find an incongruency or at least what it seems to me like one:

In your first post you say to act on our emotions, that`s the proper way to go. Stop overthinking about everything, letting our mind aside of ruling us and to simple do as we feel.
Now on your how to be a man post, you state to never let our emotions outweight our logic, to net rely on our emotions.

Now I`m sure this will come as an answer on these two phases being separate one of the other, and in order to become a man I must first let go of my overthinking brain and see my emotions get out there, so I can after start using my logical brain over these emotional self in order to get the girl.
But can you deliver a more specific answer to this question?
Don`t want you to distract yourself from your goal cause it`s really helpfull at least to me the way you are structuring your post, but if you manage to take a little time; I also wanted to ask you this:

On the first post you basicallly propouse to forget about what our ego tought us, letting go of the ego is basically "risking it all" to our ego mind, and understanding that there is a life after that.
Here is my question: How can you do such a thing? I know you`ve stated to take ACTION, but how can I UNlearn all this stuff that`s inside my head?

Thanks man =)
I was really hoping someone would bring this up. It is really the topic of my next post but I might as well answer here in detail.

It does indeed seem like a contradiction no? But when I speak about acting on your emotions, on your feelings, the word I should have used was INSTINCT. An instinct is an emotion, it isnt logical, and you cant really help the fact that you're feeling it. It's not good or bad, it just is. Your instincts are there to protect you, to remind you that you are a man. In fact your instincts are so powerful that they even override negative emotions (You know when you have one-itis and desperately NEED to text a girl, and as you type on your phone, there's that voice in the back of your head literally screaming for you to put your phone down and do something productive with your life?). THAT is the emotion you should listen to. See, as a man, it is your natural course to want women, to desire them, and to appreciate them. Most men arn't comfortable with that. They listen to negative emotions rather than their instincts and THAT is where they fail.

Is that a bit clearer? If not, let me know and I will dig a lot deeper.

As for your second question on detaching the ego: Practice. Its not easy to disconnect the ego. It takes ALOT of work. Read the Bhagavad Gita. Meditate, and actively seek to disconnect. Detach yourself from your surroundings and you could see things more clearly. Its funny because I catch myself VERY often reacting from ego. And yet there are moments where I see that I learned alot. A week ago, I got a txt message from a girl's boyfriend making all kinds of threats. I just looked at it, breathed, and deleted. I didnt bother answering, I didnt bother playing his game. Why? Besides the fact that it leads to nothing, who was in the wrong here? Me. I was the one flirting with his girlfriend, his reaction is understandable. It takes time to disconnect, look at things objectively and make a decision, and I promise you it isnt easy, but it is possible.

"Lord Krishna, to tame the mind is like taming the wind"
"With practice, it can be done" - Krishna to Prince Arjuna, Bhagavad Gita.

Love and lots of it
Mack

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE ;) --> http://centeredmanproject.com/


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