I've spent over 2 years reading self help books and yet they still haven't worked out for me. I try to like myself for who I am and accept myself but I've come to realize that I want to be a confident, outgoing, and funny person that's always fun to be around. Right now I'm just insecure, hate attention, and the only thing that has been getting me around is my looks. I keep telling myself that I just need to read one more self help book or once I start talking o people I will be fixed and super confident but that's not going to happen for at least a month. I don't want to make this too long so does confidence come from within? and how do you get it because It's so hard for me to get in the righ mindset where I don't care what people think about me anymore.

The best thing I can tell you is that you make your own reality. Act like who you want to be. You don't have to mean it. Picture in your mind who you want to be and act like that guy. It will feel uncomfortable, it will feel forced, and it will feel unnatural. After several weeks of doing this, and I mean literally never turning it off, do it everywhere and at all times, you'll find yourself acting less and doing it all a bit more naturally. You'll begin to believe everything you say about how good looking you are, how fun you can be, etc. You will end up becoming who you want to be.

At least, that's what worked for me.

Mystery said that looks and gender are genetic, social standing and confidence aren't, which makes them just habits. And bad habits can be broken.

_________________
-Breeze

everytime you look in the mirror say "who is this good looking, confident, outgoing guy" and say it with so much feelings that you actually get emotional. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS will help you become confident.

Another thing that i highly suggest is visualization. Visualize everyday that everyone is around you and you are making them laugh and that they show you love.

IF YOU WANT YOUR LIFE TO CHANGE GO WATCH THE SECRET which is about the Law of Attraction

confidence comes from knowing who you are and what you are capable of. try do things that push you to your limits (but are obviously still achievable). a simple example would be running. set your benchmark on your first run, then try to increase the distance each time enough so that you have to really dig deep to push yourself over the line.

[quote="natedizzle"]I've spent over 2 years reading self help books and yet they still haven't worked out for me. I try to like myself for who I am and accept myself but I've come to realize that I want to be a confident, outgoing, and funny person that's always fun to be around. Right now I'm just insecure, hate attention, and the only thing that has been getting me around is my looks. I keep telling myself that I just need to read one more self help book or once I start talking o people I will be fixed and super confident but that's not going to happen for at least a month. I don't want to make this too long so does confidence come from within? and how do you get it because It's so hard for me to get in the righ mindset where I don't care what people think about me anymore.[/quote]

Natedizzle, I completely empathize and fully understand your situation. The hardest thing is that you know exactly what to do but low self-esteem makes you lazy and you give up easily.

As much as any of us here would love to give you the answer if you've been doing things in this area for 2 years you've heard a lot of what we can say already. You know all the answers but only you can break the habit.

Any step forward is a step forward. If you've been doing this a while you should be able to notice your negative low-self esteem loops you put yourself through that counteract any help you give to yourself. Anger is ALOT better than sadness.

As Dr. Paul states in his Mind OS program: 'Anger and Sadness are the same emotional energy...It's much better for a man to be angry than sad.' You can then turn that anger into assertiveness even in such small ways as waking up in the morning and telling yourself 10 true things you really like about yourself and don't stop until you have 10 everyday.

You may have already checked out this material but I'll suggest some things that really helped me:

Dr. Paul - Mind OS (Video or Audio preferably. This was a HUGE help)
Provocative Therapy- Frank Farrelly
And a lot of Jaque Fresco's work really inspired me.

Sometimes you can get people that will force you to change but it's VERY VERY rare that you will get people who will positively force you to change with complete non-malicious intentions.

You are the confidence. 'None of us have courage. But we ALL have the ability to DO courage.'

Don't be so hard on yourself,

Britton
Britton

_________________
Welcome to the Lions' pit

Searching for confidence is a waste of time.

Stop striving for confidence as a goal. You get it from acting without it.

Confidence only comes from knowledge and experience.

Courage is the father of confidence.

Self-Help is an oxymoron. If people could help themselves then they wouldn't need a book. Accept your interdependence.

Change your social circles. Take an absurd step forward every single day. Find a mentor who will push you with tough love.

_________________
In Strength,

John P Morgan

"Authenticity is invincible."

LIVE IN LONDON!
The Authentic Approach - All Day Training
12th November 2011
http://themagneticman.com/store/the-authentic-approach/

Sounds like someone needs to change their self-image. Instead of trying to change their personality.

Which books have you read?

- New Psycho Cybernetics?

- The Power of Now?

If not you should read them. Psycho-Cybernetics first